Walk on Water or Drown!
by DarkDaughter1318
Summary: After Rose and Lissa are captured in Portland, Rose is sent away to train at a special camp where the most elite guardians work to train novices. Her attitude gets her into trouble, but her skill shows Dimitri that theres more to her than a pretty face.
1. Introduction!

I watched as the bus pulled up in front of the estate. All the guardians had been eager about this day since the last group of novices had left. They all stood in a straight line and watched as the bus pulled up. My head guardian, Eddie Castille walked over to stand next to me.

"You ready for this?" He asked me. I knew he was as excited as the rest of them. When new novices came, that only meant more work for me. Usually I ended up watching, and filling in where necessary, but we lost a guardian a few months ago to a strigoi attack, meaning I would have to fulfill his role as a mentor until a new guardian showed up.

"Yes." I answered simply. We trained guardians here, just like academies did, except this was a place for special novices, people who the headmasters at the academies expected more from, and of course the elite few that had discipline issues that they didn't want to deal with. I'd gotten a list of names of the novices that were coming. There were twelve, but an extra was added just a day ago due to a discipline issue. The bus stopped, and the doors opened, and out poured the dhampirs. Most of them were male. I'd only counted two females on my list, but then again, I didn't know if the one that had been added was male or female. I actually knew nothing about them other than they had ran away with the Dragomir princess. I watched as they all filed out and formed a line. The two girls had gotten off the bus together, giggling as they ogled at the line of guardians before them. Eddie found satisfaction in this obviously, because a small smile crept to his face. I watched as the last person filed off the bus. She was also a female. This must have been our runaway. She was average height for a dhampir. She was maybe seventeen, on the verge of eighteen. Obviously a senior, with a lot of catching up to do seeing as how she'd been gone from the academy for awhile. Regardless, she had long, thick brown hair, and dark eyes. When she stepped off the bus, she stood away from the crowd of novices, off to herself. She set her bags on the ground and placed a hand on her hip. It was very obvious that she was confident in herself, which was definitely a good thing. Eddie had obviously noticed too, because the moment he looked at her, she flashed him an eat-your-heart-out smile. I fought an eye roll as I heard Eddie's breathing catch in his throat. That boy was a sucker for a pretty face.

"Hello, and welcome. I'm Guardian Belikov; head Guardian here, along with Guardian Castille here, who is my assistant." He told them. "I'd like to say congratulations on making it here. It's not a very easy thing to do, of course."

"Unless you're a discipline problem." Eddie chimed in. I heard the dark-haired girl cough slightly. It was quite obvious to me that we were going to have our hands full with her. I wasn't looking forward to that at all.

"We're so glad each and every one of you is here, and we can't wait to train with you. Each of you has a room inside, which will be where you'll be living during your stay here. Guys, you're on the first floor, girls you're on the second, even though there are only three of you. Your names are on the doors. In just a moment, we'll release you to your rooms. Once you get settled in, we want you to all meet us in the gym. It's your first door on the left when you walk in. That'll be where most of your training takes place." I explained. Eddie just nodded in agreement. They all nodded, most of them looking extremely excited, although the dark-haired girl on the left looked bored. "Alright, you guys are dismissed. Meet in the gym in twenty minutes." I told them. They all picked up their bags and disappeared inside. Eddie turned to me, and shook his head.

"So, she's the one that ran away with the Dragomir princess."

"She convinced the Princess to run away, therefore she was a problem." I said. Eddie chuckled.

"She's pretty." He told me. I rolled my eyes.

"I could almost hear you swoon when she smiled at you." I said, shaking my head at him. He growled at me.

"Don't go there, Belikov. I'm a sucker for the pretty ones… what can I say?" He said. I rolled my eyes. I turned to the line of guardians and nodded.

"You guys ready for this?" They all nodded, so we headed into the gym. We waited as they slowly filed in and took their seats on the bench. The dark haired girl was the last one to come in, and she was obviously taking her sweet time about it. I could tell we were going to have fun with her; that was for sure.

"So, since we've all come from different places, and some of you might not know each other, we're going to start with introductions. Just stand up, and say your name, and what Academy you're from? We'll start down here." I said, pointing at the boy on the far right of the bench. They each stood up, and said their names, most of them not sounding familiar. When we got to the dark haired girl, she stood up and placed her hand on her hip.

"I'm Rose Hathaway, and I came here from St. Vladimir's Academy." She said. In that moment, whispers filled the gym, as it was quite obvious that everyone had heard. Finally, one of them, a male spoke up.

"Hey, aren't you the one that kidnapped the Dragomir Princess?" He asked. When she turned her glare on him the phrase _'If looks could kill'_ ran through my mind.

"Why don't you shut the hell up? You don't know anything." She snapped, obviously very touchy on the subject of her disappearance.

"Alright… Let's calm down. Thank you, Rose… You can sit." I told her. She plopped back down on the bench, crossing her arms over her chest, and glaring at the boy who'd spoken to her. "Like I said before, welcome, we're so glad you all are here. We're going to start out simple. Each one of you is going to be assigned a guardian. They're going to be your mentor/trainer during your stay here. They're going to be your guide and turn you into a high class guardian, just like all of them. You are to train by the schedule the assign you, and follow their instructions perfectly. If you choose not to do so, the punishment will probably be worse than whatever it is you're choosing not to do. Keep that in mind." Eddie handed be the clipboard with the names and their guardians. I started down the list, naming each novice and one of our guardians. I added Rose's name at the bottom, and did the only think I knew to do.

"Rose, Eddie will be your guardian." Eddie looked at her and nodded once, obviously wanting to keep his cool under her full attention. She just looked away.

"Alright, so just to get an idea of where each of you is at, training wise. We're going to have each of you come out to the mat with your guardian and show us what you can do. It'll be just like combat training at the academies… nothing to be scared of." I told them all.

"We have to fight… one of you all."

"Yes? Why?" I asked. He looked genuinely afraid. It probably had something to do with the fact that I was his guardian, and I was a good two feet taller than most of the guardians standing in line.

"In combat at my school, we fought other students." He muttered.

"They're not going to kill us, Jesus Christ, don't be such a baby. What do you think you're going to be fighting when you leave here? Monkeys?" Rose snapped, obviously still not happy with this boy from earlier.

"No one asked for your input, Hathaway." He snapped.

"I'll give you my input when I shove my foot up your ass." She sassed.

"Alright, that's enough. Leon, you're up first." I told them. He got up and walked out to the mat with his guardian. His defense was pretty good, but his offense was horrible. Even when Steven left spots open for him to stage an attack, he didn't do it. It was quite obvious he'd have his work cut out for him. As we called each one up, I found it more and more the same, the girls especially. I felt bad for Dominic and Ryan, who had the first two females. I finally got up with my novice and found that the poor kid had no idea what he was doing. That's why he'd been nervous about fighting me. I hit him twice, kicked his legs out from under him, and he was done. It was obvious I wouldn't get much free time. Then, it was Rose and Eddie's turn. I could see the smug look on Eddie's face. First day introductions were always his favorite part, because most of the time, he got to embarrass some snotty dhampir who thought they knew what they were doing. Rose crouched down into her defensive stance, which was surprisingly decent. Eddie and her circled once, before he threw a kick at her. She deflected. He threw a punch, which she also very skillfully blocked. A smug smile soon spread over her face as well, making it obvious that she was enjoying herself. Eddie and her went back and forth, some of their attacks landing, some of them getting deflected. Eddie lunged at her, hoping to take her down, but she threw out a leg, catching him in the stomach. When he hit the floor, she started to jump on top of him, like she was going to stake him, but he yanked her legs out from under her, catching her off guard, before he pressed his hands to her chest. They were both breathing hard, as he stood up, He offered her a hand, but she got up on her own.

"That was amazing." Eddie told her.

"Thanks." She barked, obviously not happy that she'd lost. Regardless, she'd done very well, which surprised me. I'd been expecting a lot less out of her, so I'd definitely been proven wrong.

"You all did surprisingly well." I lied. "We'll give you the rest of the day off before we start serious training, so everyone is to meet back here bright an early at five p.m." I heard Rose scoff.

"You're kidding right? Please, tell me you're kidding. Five p.m. We don't even get up for school that early." She complained. The rest of the novices faces were saying what Rose was staying out loud. I found it funny that she was the only one that voiced her opinion.

"I'm not kidding. When you're mentored at an Academy, you're up two hours before school, and at training right after. You'll have to get used to the schedule, cause it's the one you're on from now on." I told her simply.

"You've got to be kidding me." She muttered to herself. I smirked slightly.

"Alright everyone, you're dismissed." They all got up, heading back to their rooms. I turned to Eddie to see him watching them as they walked out.

"She was a phenomenal fighter."

"Yeah, I can tell she's also going to be a phenomenal pain in the ass." I muttered.

"She's a Hathaway. Have you ever met Janine? She's a strong willed woman." He told me. I shook my head at him.

"You've got your work cut out for you buddy, that's all I can say." I said, patting his back before heading back to my room to fill out some paper work, and rest up for tomorrow. Novices always thought first days were rough on them. They had no idea what it was like on us. As I sat at my computer, I became curious, and logged onto St. Vladimirs website, looking up Rose's file. Her full name, Rosemarie Hathaway. She was seventeen years old, and was born to Janine Hathaway, father was unknown. She'd been enrolled at St. Vladimirs since age six. She was in all kinds of trouble there; damage of property, fighting, convincing others to get involved in her misbehavior, including her and the princesses disappearance. I shook my head. It was quite obvious to me that they sent her here just because they didn't want to deal with her. It was also quite obvious that they had no idea what kind of fighter they'd sent to me. She might be a pain in the ass, but she was good. Behavior can change quickly with the right discipline, and I think Eddie and I will be able to give it to her.

**ROSE POV**

As I walked back to my room, I heard someone muttered something about Lissa behind me, so I had no doubt that they were talking about me as well. I turned to find the same guy that had said something in the gym, and a bunch of others standing around him.

"If you're going to run your mouth, learn to do it where other people can hear it." I snapped at him, taking a few steps towards him.

"I'm just explaining to everyone how you kidnapped the princess and hid out in Portland in some strangers home." I could feel my anger start to bubble out of me. This kid had no idea what he was getting himself into. I took a few steps closer, trying to refrain from hitting him, but I knew it was only a matter of time.

"You don't know anything. I didn't kidnap anyone, so before you go running your dick licker, why don't you get your facts straight." I snapped at him. All the guys around him laughed at him, causing him to become angry. I'd embarrassed him. _Poor thing._ I chuckled to myself.

"So, I heard that you were the princess's feeder while you were away. Is that true? I think you're more suited for a blood whore, and not a guardian." He said. I lost it. I'd gotten close enough now that when I swung, I caught him right in the nose. He stumbled back and grabbed his face.

"I will end you pathetic existence, and trust me… I lived out in the real world. I know how to do it. Keep my name out of your mouth, you understand?" I growled. There was blood pouring from his nose.

"Bitch." He muttered. I started back after him when someone stepped in front of me, stopping me.

"What's going on out here?" A deep voice said, a Russian accent lacing the words. _Guardian Belikov._

"Tell the little ass hole over here to quit running his mouth." I growled the boy gave me a smart ass smirk as Dimitri stood before me, holding me back.

"I don't know what was said, but as of now… I want it to stop. Tyler, leave Rose alone."

"I don't need you to tell him to stop picking on me. I'm not in the fifth grade." I growled at him, stepping away from him. He met my gaze for a second.

"You're acting like fifth grader right now. You guys head up to your rooms." He told all of us. I glared at him for a second as the others disappeared. Finally, I walked off, stomping upstairs and to my room, slamming the door behind me, hopefully loud enough that he heard it.


	2. Trials!

The next morning, all the guardians and myself were in the gym setting up mats and dummies for the novices to use. I looked down at my watch and saw it was about five minutes till five. They all slowly started to file in, all in work-out clothes. It was then I realized that one was missing. I waited until five, giving her time to show up, but she never did.

"Anyone seen Rose?"

"Not since she had a hissy fit last night." Glenn told me. It was hard to look at him with a straight face. His nose was all black and blue, and looked lopsided on his face.

"What happened last night?" Eddie asked. I forgot I hadn't told him.

"It's nothing. You want to get her?" I asked him. He dropped what he was doing and nodded, walking out of the gym.

"Guardian Castille should make her do a shit load of pushups or something." Glenn muttered to one of the kids sitting beside him. The kids chuckled and nodded.

"Or make her run a bunch of laps." The other said.

"Why don't you not worry about Rose, and worry about yourselves?" I said, causing them all to jump. "You've got your own work-outs to worry about soon… don't worry about hers." They all nodded, obviously intimidated. A few minutes later, Eddie came back, shaking his head.

"Her doors locked, and she's not answering. I can hear her alarm clock going off in the room." I just nodded. This was not how I wanted to start my first day.

"Take care of this here… I'll get her." I told him. I walked to my office and grabbed the door keys, heading to the second floor. I beat on her door a few times, but there wasn't a reply. I finally stuck the key in the door, unlocking it and swinging the door open. Her alarm was blaring right next to her bed, but she looked completely unaffected. Jesus Christ, she must have slept like a rock. I walked over and hit the off button.

"Rose?" I tried. There was nothing. She never moved. "Rosemarie Hathaway." Still nothing. Finally I grabbed the blankets wrapped around her, and pulled them off her, tossing them into the floor. I probably should have thought about this before I did it. She was in nothing but a sports bra and shorts. Regardless, I was happy she wore something to bed, or this scene could have ended a lot worse.

"What the hell?" She demanded, sitting up.

"You're late. Get up." I snapped.

"Who the hell do you think you are coming in my room and snatching my blankets off me? You're not my mom, nor are you my mentor." She said. I was having a hard time focusing on her face and what she was saying. Regardless of her attitude problem, Rose had an amazing body… not that I should be noticing things like that.

"You've got five minutes to get ready and be at the gym, or you'll be running till you can't breathe tonight, understood?" I asked, trying to keep my voice hard and focus on her face and not her bare body. She stood up out of the bed, causing me to take a few steps back.

"Whatever." She muttered. I turned and started to walk out, when she called out to me. "Guardian Belikov?"

"Yes?" I asked, turning back to her.

"Next time you decide to come into my room, and pull my blankets off me… remember, my eyes are up here." She said, pointing to her face. It was obvious I'd been caught. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Time starts now, five minutes." I growled, before walking out and slamming her door behind me. I heard her giggle right before the door closed. I was kind of angry at myself for getting caught, but there was nothing I could do. I walked into the gym, and everyone looked up.

"Where is she?"

"I gave her five minutes. She was still asleep. She's coming." I told them, looking at my watch. She had three minutes. The questions told all the novices to warm up, which they did. I watched them for a second, and looked back down at my watch, _one minute. _I watched my watch, actually counting down seconds, when she walked through the door.

"Thank you, for gracing us with your presence, Rose." Eddie said.

"Oh, you're so welcome." She smarted. Eddie's eyes fell on me, as I walked over to my novice who was stretching on the mat. Eddie was going to have a lot of fun with her. I could see that now.

**ROSE'S POV**

I walked over to where Eddie instructed me to and sat down, stretching my legs. It was too early in the morning for this crap. I swear, if I wasn't afraid the Russian mauler wouldn't come after me, I'd definitely run from this place too.

"Alright, we we're doing trials today. Seeing how many sits ups, pushups, etc. you can do in a minute. You got it?" He asked. I groaned.

"I don't have a choice, so yes, Guardian Castille, I've got it." I snapped at him. He rolled his eyes at me.

"Alright, we're going to do sit ups first." He told me. I laid down and he placed his knees over my feet.

"Ow, you know… you're not exactly the lightest thing in the world." I snapped, looking up at him. He shook his head at me.

"Will you suck it up… I know you're tougher than that."

"Doesn't matter, my feet are sensitive." I growled at him. He shook his head.

"Are you ready?" He asked me.

"Yeah." I told him. He said go, and started the clock. Sit ups were always probably the easiest exercise for me. I was used to doing them at combat training at the academy and when Lissa and I ran off, I did them often to keep in shape. She'd let me go to the gym every once in awhile, but she was scared we'd get caught there. God, I'd only been gone from her two days, and I missed her. I still was having trouble believing that they separated us. They have no idea how much she needs me, how much I need her. If something happens to her while she's there, and I'm here… I swear, I will end all of their lives.

"Time!" He called. My stomach was definitely burning.

"How many?" I asked.

"Ninety eight." He answered, writing it down on a clip board, and giving me my feet back. I winced and rubbed my shoes.

"Like I said, not the lightest thing in the world." He ignored me this time, obviously becoming annoyed with me. To be quite honest, I found it fun to annoy the shit out of him. His facial expressions were quite priceless. He took a deep breath, and looked down at me.

"Alright, pushups." I nodded and turned around.

"Guy pushups or girls?" I asked.

"What?" He asked.

"There are two kinds of… oh Jesus… Nevermind." I got into position for guy pushups and looked at him. "Ready." I told him. He set his clock, and said go. As I started my pushups, my mind drifted back to Lissa, how much I missed her. I wondered how she was fairing without me. I hoped they realize that just because they sent me here, wasn't going to stop me from seeing her. If I could ever manage to get away from this place to see her, I would, no matter what the cost. I would be her guardian one day, and them separating us wasn't going to stop that. Guardian Castille called time, and wrote something down on his board. "How many?" I asked once again.

"Sixty one." He answered. I just nodded. I stood up, and straightened myself out.

"What next?"

"When the rest of them finish, we're going outside to run the mile. You can rest until then." He informed me. I nodded and walked over to the bench. I caught Guardian Belikov glance my way, and quickly look back down at his novice. I still found humor in his reaction to me catching him earlier. I couldn't say I blamed him. Dhampirs normally had nicer bodies than moroi, but I had a better body than most dhampirs. I wasn't a twig like some of them, but I wasn't big either. I'd been told that I was perfect a few times by guys in the human world, and guys at school. Believe me, I was well aware. After everyone finished, we headed through a back door, and out onto what looked similar to a high school track. They lined us up at the fence and explained to us how this was going to work.

"Each time you come around, you need to stop and get a card. Once you have four cards, you've ran a mile. Remember, you're being timed, so feel free to show off." Guardian Belikov said. I had a feeling that one was directed at me. "On your mark…." Everyone hunkered down, ready to run. I just stood there. "Get set." Everyone was trying to be a step ahead of the other. "Go." He called; everyone took off running as fast as they could. I ran, but it wasn't at full speed. The idiots that just hauled ass from the gate didn't realize that they're going to tire out first and end up walking their last laps because of it. My first lap was pretty quick regardless of my speed. I watched as the rest of the novices each slowed down to a jog, then most of them a walk. I managed to pass most of them, and even over lap a few of them. The beginning of my third lap, I took off, giving it everything I had. I ran a lot back at the academy, and that was one thing I was used to with Lissa, running. It was how we got away from most of the guardians, and kept from getting caught. Well at least for awhile. I was the first to finish, in two minutes and forty-nine seconds. All the guardians seemed to be impressed. I wasn't. I knew I could have run it quicker, but I wasn't worried about that right now. All I was worried about was beating all the little morons that thought they were going to get the best time by taking off at the very beginning. I walked over to the sidewalk and sat down, waiting for the rest to finish. I finally got tired of waiting, and walked over to Guardian Belikov and Castille.

"Are we done for today, because I'd really like to go take a shower." I asked. Guardian Castille looked at Guardian Belikov, who turned to me.

"You can wait, we're almost done here." He said.

"But I'm-."

"It's not going to kill you to wait five minutes, Hathaway. Kind of like you made us all wait for you this morning." He snapped at me. I recoiled a little bit at his harsh tone. It was obvious he was still bitter towards me because of my comment this morning.

"Whatever." I muttered, before walking back to the sidewalk and sat down again. Finally, about five minutes later, everyone finished and we headed back into the gym. We all sat on the bench, and listened to them as they all gave us a little pep talk.

"Tomorrow we start extensive training. There isn't going to be anymore group work like today. It's going to be you and your mentor, and that's the way it's going to be from now on. Eventually, we might let you guys work together again, like combat training at the academy, but we'll have to see how well you do with us first." Guardian Belikov explained. "We'll see you guys bright and early at five p.m. sharp." He said, looking directly at me. I rolled my eyes at him. I had a smart ass retort on my tongue, but I didn't want to say anything in front of the other guardians. Instead, I saluted him sarcastically.

"Aye, Aye captain." I said. He just looked away.

"Get some rest… you'll need it. You guys are dismissed." Everyone got up, and started out of the gym, but I was the first one out, ready to be away from those 'stick up their ass' guardians. I'll admit, not even the guardians at St. Vladimirs were that bad.

**DIMITRI'S POV**

Once the novices were gone, I turned to Eddie and smiled.

"How was she?"

"She's pretty, but by God she's a smart ass. She's a Hathaway, no doubt." He told me. I laughed and shook my head.

"And just think…. You've got another three months of dealing with that. You'll probably have to go drag her out of bed every morning." I told him. I thought back to how that had gone down this morning, and figured he probably wouldn't mind so much.

"She'll be running till her lungs give out if I do." He told me. I chuckled.

"From the looks of it today, she probably wouldn't have too much trouble." Ryan chimed in.

"You're probably right." Eddie told him. I headed back to my room, showering and propping my feet up with one of my western novels. As it got late, I heard footsteps outside my door, and walked out and into the kitchen, where Rose stood with the fridge door open. She turned and saw me, and jumped, squeaking slightly. I smirked at the sound she'd made.

"Holy shit, you scared me." She told me. "What are you doing up?"

"What are you doing up?" I asked. She shrugged.

"I was hungry." She said, like it was obvious. I guess since I found her in the kitchen, it kind of was. She pulled a block of cheese out of the fridge and cut a few pieces and walked past me.

"Are you going to be on time tomorrow?" I asked her. She laughed, and turned to me, giving me a smart ass smile.

"Why? You afraid you're going to have to come pull me out of bed again, Comrade?" She asked. I knew what she meant. She turned and walked back to her room. I shook my head, and went back to my room, putting my western back on the shelf, and crawling into bed.


	3. Trading Places!

I woke up the next morning to my alarm clock blaring in my ear. I was sincerely surprised I actually heard it this time. I slapped it, almost knocking it off my nightstand, and sat up. I rubbed my face, trying to fully bring myself to consciousness. I rolled out of bed, and grabbed my work out clothes, slipping them on. I did a little bit of make-up and ran a brush through my hair, throwing it up into a pony tail, and heading to the gym. I was shocked to find I was still the last one there. Holy shit, did these kids wake up at four to be here right at five?

"Pay up." One of the novices said. He groaned and handed the kid a ten.

"Ya'll were taking bets on whether I'd make it on time?" I asked. They all nodded.

"She's still the last one here, that counts for something." The boy, I think his name was Keith snapped at him.

"She's actually on time today, and that's what counts." Guardian Belikov told them. "Everyone ready to start training?" A chorus of 'yeahs' came from the group of over-achievers on the bench. "Guardian's, you guys ready?" They muttered a bunch of 'yeahs' but didn't seem really excited about it. I didn't blame them. Some of these novices needed a good punch to the mouth. Some of them already got it. My eyes fell on Glenn, whose nose still looked disgusting. I smirked to myself. "Let's do it then." All of them jumped up, obviously excited. I shook my head as I walked over to Guardian Castille.

"No one had to come drag me out of bed. You should be proud."

"I am. You should make this on time thing a habit." He told me. I laughed.

"I wouldn't count on it." I told him. He chuckled.

"Alright, we're going to start with your defense stance… something simple."

"Awe, you're not going to throw me into hardcore basic training?" I asked, sarcastically. He raised an eyebrow. I wished I could do that.

"Is that what you wanted?" He asked.

"It's what I was expecting." He rolled his eyes.

"No, we'll work our way to that." He promised. I nodded. I hated being babied, and I felt like that's what he was doing because I was a girl. Little did he know, I could kick his ass. Our first go round, he'd gotten lucky. "Now, take your defensive stance." I rolled my eyes and did as he asked. He walked around me and stopped.

"Everything up to par sheriff?" I asked, sarcastically. He shook his head at me, obviouslt sensing the innuendo of my joke.

"Are you right handed or left handed?" He asked. I raised an eyebrow.

"Right handed, why?"

"Because you shift most of your body weight to the right when you're in stance, and that's dangerous, because it leaves you left side more vulnerable." He told me. I gave him a look.

"I'm sorry… but what?"

"Okay, I'll give you scenario. You're ambushed by strigoi, and you take stance, ready to attack, and one takes you out from your left side. Your weight and all your strength is on the right side of your body, therefore, you're not going to be able to stage an attack in time. He will already have his arms around you, or you'll already be dead." He explained.

"Strigoi don't normally travel in packs, Guardian Castille." I told him. I knew that much.

"With strigoi, you have to be ready for anything, therefore, you have to balance your weight in your stance so you have time to protect yourself if you need too." He explained.

"You're kidding right? You're going to throw me off if you make me change my stance." I told him.

"I could also be saving your life here."

"No, you're going to screw my entire battle mode off." I snapped at him. He gave me a strange look.

"You have a battle mode?" He asked. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not changing my stance, Guardian Castille."

"Try it?" He asked me.

"NO!" I snapped back at him. He obviously wasn't getting it. If I had to beat it into his skull that I wasn't changing it, then I would.

"Alright, look… let me show you something, and I'll prove to you why you need to change it." He said. He called on of the other guardians over, and told him where to stand. "I want you to pretend you're going to attack her. I want you to move in like you're going in for the attack." The guardian nodded. Guardian Castille moved off to my left. I watched him out of the corner of my eye, but he finally got into my blind spot where he was no longer visible. I listened hard, hoping I'd be able to hear his movements closer to me, but with all the talking in the room, it was a lost cause. I eventually heard his footfalls on the mat. This obviously wasn't very realistic due to the fact that I knew the guardian in front of me wasn't actually going to come after me. When I heard his last footfall before he grabbed me, I threw all of the weight from my right into him when I shoved him away from me, and took my defensive stance once again before him.

"I'm training to be a guardian. I will be ready for anything, and my stance isn't going to have anything to do with it."

"Will you at least try?" He asked.

"No, because you're wrong." I told him, bluntly. He ran a hand through his hair, obviously a sign that he was aggravated.

"Rose… I don't know how I'm going to teach you anything if you're going to tell me I'm wrong. I've been a guardian for four years now, I think I know what I'm doing."

"I'm sure there's a lot you could teach me, but in this… you're wrong." I promised him. He shook his head. I could tell he was biting his tongue. Finally, Guardian Belikov called it a day, thank God. I threw Guardian Castille one last look before walking out. I wasn't going to have this fight with him anymore. I walked to my room, and slammed my door behind me. I didn't know how I was going to put up with people here. I'd go insane before I got out of here, that was for sure. I buried my head in my pillows and screamed as loud as I could. God, I missed Lissa.

**DIMITRI'S POV**

"Having trouble with her already?" I asked, when I walked over to Eddie. He was running his hands through his hair, the ultimate sign that he was agitated with something or someone. I'd heard them arguing, but was too involved with my own stuff to bother worrying about theirs.

"Dimitri, I can't do it. She doesn't listen. She's undisciplined, and she's hard-headed."

"She'll warm up to you eventually." I told him. He shook his head at me.

"Yeah, a week before she leaves back for the academy. Dimitri, trade me novices."

"Not gonna happen." I told him.

"Dimitri, please. If you leave her with me, her entire stay here is going to be wasted. I'm not hard enough on them, at least not like you are, and she needs discipline that you can give her. She's talented… I'll give her that much. Don't waste it. Just trade me." I stared at him, not sure how I was supposed to tell him no. I knew he was right. Eddie was sort of a push over, only because he was genuinely a good guy. He wasn't ever one to argue, or fight unless it was a strigoi. I looked down, and back up at him.

"Fine… You can have Steven. Although, you'll probably have your hands full with him too, just not in the same way."

"I'll take shitty fighter, over undisciplined any day."

"You owe me for this, I hope you know that." I told him. He just nodded.

"I'll buy you lunch or something."

"I have a feeling you're going to owe me more than that." I said, as I walked out of the gym. I went into the kitchen for a bottle of water, and headed to my room. I sat down at my desk, shaking my head. What kind of mess did I just get myself into? I traded a well behaved boy for a undisciplined girl, with a bad attitude, and no real work ethic. If Eddie's right and discipline is really all she needs, this shouldn't be that hard, but if he's wrong, then he's going to owe me a lot more than just lunch. I erased Eddie's name from beside Rose's and wrote my own, and erased mine from beside Steven and wrote Eddie's. Tomorrow was going to be one hell of a day, that was for sure. I propped my feet up on my desk, and picked up my novel I's been working on finishing when I heard the back door slam shut. I got up, and walked to the window to see who'd gone out and what they were doing. I watched as Rose dropped her bottle of water on the ground and placed her hand on the fence. I watched as she mouthed the words, on your mark, get set, and go before starting around the track. I debated on going out, and asking her why she just randomly decided to come out and run, but then again, it wasn't a bad thing that she was doing. I watched her for a few seconds, as she gracefully sped around the track one time, then two times, then three times, and four. When she stopped, her chest was heaving in and out, obviously out of breath. She may have a bad attitude, and very little discipline, but the girl will bust her ass for what she wants. I could see that in her. There was a fire in her I'd never seen in another novice. It would make her great, just like her mother. She started back towards the door, so I went back to my room so she wouldn't know I'd been watching. I laid down with my novel until I eventually fell asleep.


	4. First Lesson!

When I woke up the next morning, I debated on putting everything in front of the door and crawling back into bed. Although I didn't doubt for a second that The Russian Mauler, and Eddie would get through it pretty quick. I groaned and rolled out of bed, getting dressed for another day of arguing with Eddie about how stupid he was when it came to strigoi. The guy only had one molnija mark, so come on… How bad ass could he really be? I almost took him down, and I've been away from any kind of training for two months. Regardless, I did my make-up and threw my hair up before heading down to the gym. I was surprised to find I wasn't the last one to arrive this time. Yeah, I know… shocked me too. Most of the novices were already warming up with their guardian. I started towards Eddie when Guardian Belikov came over to me.

"Rose, can I talk to you for a second?" He asked. I didn't know where this was headed, but I nodded.

"Yeah, sure." I said. We walked away from where the rest of the dhampirs were, and stopped.

"Okay, so Guardian Castille and I have been talking and we've decided that Eddie isn't exactly the right guardian to be training you. Instead of him being your mentor, I've switched with him, and I will be taking on the role." He explained. It took everything I had not to laugh. One disagreement and the guy had given up on me. I looked over at him, working with Dimitri's old novice, Steven. I shook my head.

"One day… one day, and he gave up on me?" I asked.

"He didn't give up on you. He's just not exactly suited to train you."

"And you think you are?" I snapped, sarcastically.

"Exceptionally. I've had to deal… with a lot of novices like you." He told me. I narrowed my eyes.

"Like me? What do you mean… like me? Bitchy, self-centered teenagers?"

"That's not what I meant." He said, voice hard. I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever… Can we just start please… I didn't get much done yesterday either, and I'm already behind."

"Yeah… Head on out to the track." He told me. I just nodded, and walked out there. I was sort of confused about why, but I did it regardless. I stopped and sat down on the sidewalk, and waited for him. When he finally came out, he motioned for me to get up.

"Get on the fence."

"I'm running?" I shrieked.

"Yeah, isn't that what people normally do when they're on a track?" He asked, sarcastically.

"I ran yesterday."

"I know." He said, as if it was obvious. "You're running again today."

"Just a mile?" I asked.

"No, however many times you can run it before your lungs give out." He said.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding?" He asked. Dimitri didn't exactly have a 'kidders' face. It was more like an 'I-have-a-stick-up-my-ass' face. "On your mark…. Get set… go." He said. I took off, not knowing what else to do. I ran it once, twice, three times, before my legs got tired. It was obvious to me now that running yesterday had been a bad idea. I was on my seventh lap, when I finally slowed to a walk. I could barely breathe. If this was his way at getting back at me, he'd won. When I finally made it back to where he was at the fence, I was pissed.

"You find this funny?"

"Not really, no. This is a part of your training. I don't take this as a joke." He told me. Once again, I didn't ever see Dimitri trying to make a joke… ever.

"What good is this going to do me? I'm going to be a guardian. Guardians don't run from a fight. We protect our moroi, no matter what. What the hell does running have to do with anything?" I snapped.

"It's your first lesson… and I know you're angry now, but it's probably one of the biggest ones." He told me simply, not affected by my angry outburst.

"What kind of lesson could you possibly have taught me by making me run a track till I couldn't breathe?" I demanded. I was pissed and it was quite obvious.

"What do you do when you're outnumbered, out of options, and out of time?" He asked me. I just gave him a look. Now wasn't the time for riddles.

"What?" I asked, stomping my foot.

"You run." He stated, simply. I gawked at him.

"It took you… making me run this track seven times to teach me that lesson? You couldn't have just told me that?"

"It wouldn't have held the same meaning."

"And now my lungs don't hold the same amount of air. I'm surprised one of them hasn't collapsed." I snapped at him. He raised an eyebrow at me, causing me to become angrier, because I couldn't do that.

"Aren't you being a bit overdramatic?" He asked.

"I can show you overdramatic." I snapped at him.

"You're doing it now." He stated. I growled, causing him to smirk slightly. I think it was the first time I'd actually seen his expression change into something other than his guardian mask. "If you don't run now, and get your body used to it, it'll never do you any good in times of need. If you need to get away, and you run, it's not going to be as affective if your body's not used to the strain running long distances has on it. That's why I made you run. That's why you'll be running again tomorrow."

"I've ran the past three days….You can't give me a break?" He chuckled, and then composed himself. I couldn't lie, Dimitri had a cute smile. It suited his face, much more so than the guardian mask he wore all the time.

"Oh… You were serious?" He asked.

"You're not a nice person."

"Being nice wasn't in my job description. It's obvious that nice gets you nowhere because Eddie couldn't get through to you." He said, shaking his head slightly.

"It's not my fault that he didn't know what he's talking about." I told him.

"Eddie's been a guardian for-."

"For four years, yes… I know." I said.

"I think he knows what he's talking-." I cut him off again.

"I think you're wrong." I told him, bluntly.

"You'll come to find, I'm not wrong very often."

"Oh yeah? Looks like we have something in common." I told him, crossing my arms over my chest. He rolled his eyes at me. "I think hell just froze over." He shook his head, obviously having nothing further to add.

"You're excused, Rose. Meet me back out here at five instead of going to the gym."

"Sure, sure… When are we going to start combat?" I asked.

"When you're ready for it." He stated simply.

"I'm ready now." I snapped. He chuckled humorlessly and shook his head.

"No… You're not." He said, obviously amused by the fact that I thought… No, that I knew I was ready. I rolled my eyes at him. "You're dismissed." I rolled my eyes and walked away, heading back inside and too my room. I showered and changed into something more comfortable, and headed down to the kitchen for something to eat. When I walked in, one of the other novices was sitting at the table. He looked up when I entered.

"Hey." He said. I turned to him. He had dark blonde hair, and light green eyes. To be quite honest, he was pretty adorable. He had a baby face, much like my friend Mason Ashford back at the academy.

"Uhm… Hey." I said.

"I don't think we've been introduced properly. I'm Landon."

"I'm Rose." I said. He smiled and nodded.

"You're an amazing fighter. What you did on introduction day was pretty amazing."

"Thanks. You weren't so bad yourself." I lied. I hadn't paid much attention to the others. I really could care less about them and their abilities.

"Thanks." He said. "So, I see you and Steven switched mentors."

"Eddie obviously couldn't handle me." I told him.

"Eddie?"

"Oh, sorry… Guardian Castille. I keep forgetting that we go by their formal names here." I said. He chuckled.

"Not used to being around that anymore?" He asked, obviously trying to weasel his way into the 'you-ran-away-from-the-academy-with-the-princess' conversation. I was used to that though.

"I guess I'm not." I answered. I looked down at the table, to see he had a composition book and a pencil in front of him. "Homework?" I asked, motioning to it.

"No… It's just a project I'm working on."

"A project?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I like to write. I've written a bunch of books and stuff, just never published them." He told me. I had to admit, as much as I hated reading… that was pretty impressive. That would take a lot of time, and patience… something I had little and none of.

"That's actually kind of cool."

"Cool isn't the word I'd use." He told me, smirking. He closed the book, and sat up.

"What do you do for fun?"

"I haven't really had fun in a long time." I admitted. It was kind of true. Out in the real world, my only focus was Lissa. Taking care of her was a full time job, meaning there was no time for fun. When I wasn't protecting her, or blissed out on the endorphins of her bite, I was asleep, eating, or trying to find out what our next move should be.

"I guess you wouldn't really have time to have fun, huh?" He asked. He was still trying to weasel his way in, so I gave him another generic answer.

"Yeah."

"Look, I don't know why you ran away, and I don't expect you to tell me, or anyone… but you kept the princess safe for the entire two months you were gone, and the human world is a harsh place, and that's definitely saying something. She means a lot to you and it's obvious. I don't judge you for leaving the way the rest of them do." He said. I was actually caught off guard by this kid's kindness. I sat down at the table with my bag of chips, partly because I wanted to know his motive, and partly because I still couldn't feel my legs from running.

"What is it you're trying to do exactly?" I asked.

"I'm not trying to do anything. I'm being friendly. Something the others obviously know nothing about." He told me, shaking his head.

"They're idiots. They don't know anything." I growled slightly.

"I know that. Regardless, they're judging you for something they don't know about. You could have had a legit reason, and none of them know. It isn't something they should make you an outcast for." He stated. I laughed.

"I've been an outcast my whole life. I've never been one to 'fit in'." I admitted.

"I guess I can understand why." He told me. I gave him a look and chuckled.

"Why?"

"Because you're beautiful, obviously extremely strong-willed, and from the looks of it the other day, you don't take shit from anybody." He said, looking down at his hands as he admitted this, as if he were shy. It was quite adorable. I smirked and nodded.

"You have it all about right." I said. He looked up at me, and smiled, causing both of us to laugh. It was the most interaction I'd had with any of the dhampirs here, and I had to admit, it was kind of nice. I didn't need friends. Lissa was all I'd ever need in this world, but it was nice to have some friendly interaction here. This conversation was probably the nicest one I'd had in months. It made me miss Lissa that much more though. I rolled the bag of chips up, and threw them in the cabinet. "It was nice talking to you, Landon. I'm tired though, so I think I'm gonna head up and relax. I'll see ya later." I said. He nodded.

"Later, Rose." He said, as I walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs. When I got into my room, I let myself slip into Lissa's head, knowing that just that much would make me feel better. She was in her room, alone, and from the feel of her emotions, she was crying. I didn't understand. I searched through her head, and found nothing other than the fact that she missed me, and wanted me to be there. Instantly, I felt bad. I should have put up more of a fight to stay. I should have done everything in my power to keep me by her side. I was her guardian. I shouldn't have left. I watched through her eyes as she got up, and went into her bathroom, picking up the razor off the counter. _NO. No. No. NOO! _I was screaming at her, even though I knew she couldn't really hear me. Our bond wasn't that strong, unfortunately. Jesus Christ, Lissa stop. I was begging, but it was doing me no good. I watched through her eyes as she dug the blade into her wrist, and slid it across. Tears were leaking down my face now. I could feel the pain through her, but at the same time I felt how relieved she was by the pain. I'd never understood her reasoning behind this until now. Regardless it was dangerous, and I had to stop her. I pulled myself out of her head, tears still streaming as I grabbed my phone and dialed her number. Logically, she didn't answer. I threw my phone across the room, screaming. I needed some fresh air. It was late now. The sun was probably starting to rise. I didn't care. I couldn't sleep right now if I wanted too. I walked out the back door, letting the cool dawn air wash over my face. I walked out to the sidewalk, and sat down, putting my face in my hands. Those idiots back at the academy had no idea what they'd done to use when they'd separated us. She needed me. They had no idea of our bond, of anything. They were going to kill one of us by keeping us apart. The thought made the tears flow faster down my face. I didn't know what I was going to do. How was I going to protect her, protect her from herself when I was here, and she was there. I didn't hear anyone come outside, so when I heard his voice, I jumped.

"It's late, what are you doing out here?" The voice asked, the Russian accent lacing through every word. I jumped up, quickly wiping my face, but knowing I'd already been caught.

"I was just.. I-." I'd been caught off guard, and didn't have a legit excuse.

"You're crying… are you okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine." I snapped at him, continuing to wipe the tears off my face.

"What is it?"

"It's nothing." I said, quickly.

"You wouldn't be crying if it was nothing." He stated. God, why couldn't he just leave me alone? "I'm here to help you, Rose. I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong." I exploded then, all the anger and frustration I had lashing out of me.

"I don't need your help, alright? I don't need any body's help. I was perfectly fine on my own. I was taking care of Lissa just fine in Portland. Nothing would have happened to her because I'm a good damn guardian, and I don't give a fuck what any of the people at St. Vladimirs think. I kept her alive the entire time we were gone, and would have given my life to protect her. Now she's there, and I'm here, and she's going out of her mind because I'm not there to help her. Strigoi aren't the only thing she needs protecting from. She needs to be protected from herself, and I'm here, and I can't do that, and she needs me. They don't understand what they did to us by separating us. She's going to get hurt or hurt herself and it's going to be their fault because I'm not there." I screamed. By the time I'd gotten down with my rant, I'd slowly sank back down to the ground, sitting back on the sidewalk, my entire body shaking from the anger and rage that was building inside me. It was in that moment, as I came down from my outburst, that I realized I'd let him in on too much. His next question confirmed that.

"What do you mean, she needs to be protected from herself?" I shook my head.

"Nothing… She doesn't-." He cut me off.

"If something's going on with her Rose, you need to tell me. I can help her."

"We don't need your help." I growled at him, tears still steadily leaking down my face. "She needs me…" I whispered. He walked over and sat down beside me on the sidewalk, obviously completely lost in what to do for me. I really just wanted him to go away.

"You're not used to being away from her."

"I'm her guardian. I'm supposed to be with her." I whispered.

"Rose, you're a novice." He stated.

"And I bet I could take down half of the guardians you have here. I need to be with her. They don't understand how much she really needs me. They thought we were kidding when we told them that… but we weren't." I said.

"Why does she need you?" He asked me. I knew I couldn't tell him. I knew he'd tell Kirova, and then Lissa would be lost in that sea without me. I couldn't take that chance. I knew I couldn't trust him. I couldn't trust anyone but myself here.

"You wouldn't understand." I said, simply. He touched my shoulder.

"Then make me understand. I don't want to see anything happen to her either, and if she needs help, Rose." He tried. I wasn't going to give Lissa away. I couldn't take the chance on it becoming known and me being here. She'd need me, and I wasn't taking that chance.

"It's nothing you can help with, Dimitri." I said, turning to him. He seemed caught off guard by my use of his name, and not his title. He didn't comment on it though, which shocked me.

"Look, how about this… If you continue your training the rest of this week, and do exactly what I ask of you, I'll take you to St. Vladimirs to see her." He said. I met his eyes.

"You would do that."

"I will." He told me. I just nodded, not knowing what else to do.

"Please… I just… I need to see her." I told him.

"I'll take you this weekend to see her." He said. I stood up, and so did he.

"Thank you." I whispered. I really wanted to hug him, but I thought better of it. He didn't seem like the hugging type. He just nodded.

"I need you to focus on your training, and it's obvious you're not going to be able to do that when you're this worked up over this."

"You're right. Thank you, Guardian Belikov." I said. He shook his head.

"Call me Dimitri." He said.

"You're serious? We're on a first name basis now?" He gave me one of those slight smiles.

"I guess so. Go get some rest, Rose. Five is going to come awfully early." He said. I groaned.

"Thank you, Dimitri. Goodnight." I said, walking away from him and going inside and upstairs. I laid down in my bed, and slowly fell asleep, ready for the weekend to be here.


	5. Cardiac Arrest!

The next morning, regardless of how shitty I felt, I was up and at em' before my alarm clock went off. I wasn't taking any chances this time. I was afraid that one wrong move and Dimitri would call of my trip this weekend. I couldn't take that. I needed to see Lissa, and soon. If this weekend was as soon as I could get to her, then so be it. I'd work with it, but regardless, I wasn't taking any chances on screwing it up. When I walked out the door, Dimitri was already out there waiting for me.

"You're early."

"I know." I said, simply. I was tired as hell, and it was obvious he could see it. He looked a little tired himself, not that I planned on mentioning it.

"You should make a habit out of this." He told me. I wouldn't count on that.

"I'll see what I can do." I told him. He nodded.

"That's all I ask." He said. He motioned to the track.

"You ready?"

"As ready as it's gonna get." I said, walking over to the fence. He looked at me, and shook his head.

"Alright, look… I'll make it a little more interesting. I'll race you, and if you beat me… You only have to run the mile, and you're done." I looked at him, and chuckled.

"You're serious?"

"Extremely serious." He answered.

"If I lose –which I won't- what do I have to do then?" I asked.

"Run it as many times as you can, like yesterday." He said. I nodded. I was Rose Hathaway, and I didn't back down from a challenge. Regardless, I doubted he ran as fast as me anyway. "You look scared."

"Me? Rose Hathaway? Scared? I think not, Comrade." We both lined up on the fence.

"I'll let you count off." He told me. I nodded.

"Alright… On your mark… Get set…. Go." We both took off from the fence, running around the track. I stayed on the inside, hoping it would give me the advantage of not having to make such a wide turn. The fence was in sight, so I pushed myself to run faster. I didn't turn to see where he was, nor did I care. He wasn't in front of me, which meant I had a good chance of winning. When I reached the fence, I realized that we'd made it at the exact same time. I hit the fence pretty hard. I was pretty sure I'd have a bruise across my stomach.

"It was a draw." He stated.

"I know… so what…. does that mean?" I asked him, breathless. He looked like it hadn't even fazed him.

"I'll let you off. Just run the mile, and we'll call it a day." He said, normally. I was still having trouble catching my breath to talk.

"How… the hell… are you not… out of breath?" I asked. He gave me that half-smile. I wondered if I'd ever get a full smile out of him.

"I told you that you have to get used to running."

"You ran so much… that it just doesn't…. affect you anymore?" I asked, still working on catching my breath.

"Pretty much. When I was in school in Siberia, that's what they-." I cut him off, not sure I'd heard him right.

"Siberia?"

"Yeah? I'm Russian." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"Because I didn't... know that, genius. Isn't Siberia like… really cold? Like, Arctic waste land cold?" I asked. He chuckled and shook his head.

"Siberia is nothing like the pictures you see of it in magazines, and books." He told me.

"So, in Siberia, they made you run… a lot?"

"Yes, and I continued to do that after I left school, so I wouldn't lose all the progress I'd made." He explained. "Regardless of how horrible running is, and how sore you feel after you do it a lot, it's good practice, and it's good for your heart."

"I know that much. I still don't understand why I have to keep running though."

"Listen to you… you sound like you're dying of emphysema. It's obvious that you're not used to it yet. If you were, you wouldn't be so out of breath. There's no telling how long of a distance you'll have to run to get out of a situation. You've got to be ready for whatever life throws at you." He explained to me.

"I am." I told him. He shook his head.

"No… you're not. If you were… you would be able to breathe just as I am now."

"Shut up." I snapped at him, finally able to speak normally. He rolled his eyes.

"Just run your mile, and you'll be done." He said, pointing. I nodded, and took off running. I was ready to get this over. My legs were already yelling profanities at me, as I pushed them to carry me around the track once, then a second time. By the time I got to my third lap, I thought I was going to die. If my lungs weren't threatening to collapse yesterday, they were today. I slowed down to a walk, making it back to the fence. It was then that my knees gave, and I hit the ground. Dimitri was by my side immediately.

"I'm fine. I'm just dying of lack of oxygen." I said, pushing myself up off the ground. He helped me back over to the sidewalk, and sat me down.

"I'll go get you a bottle of water." He told me, walking to the back door and inside. I put my head between my knees, breathing in through my mouth, and out through my nose. When he came back, he handed me the bottle, which I opened and drank greedily from, not helping my not being able to breathe. When the bottle was empty, I threw it on the ground.

"You're trying to… kill me, aren't you?" I demanded.

"If I wanted you dead, Hathaway… You would be." He stated simply. I was starting to realize that Dimitri had a really dry sense of humor. It was different.

"I'm sure… your… right." I stammered. He chuckled.

"I'll let you off on the last lap."

"Thank you so much." I said, sarcastically, looking up at him. Like I could run another lap without going into cardiac arrest. It took me a few minutes before I was able to breathe normally again.

"I tried to tell you."

"I know." I muttered.

"You should work on your listening skills." He said. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I'm definitely here to learn how to kill things, not learn how to listen. I did that in kindergarten." I told him.

"It's quite obvious that you failed that portion of kindergarten."

"Oh, look… you made a joke. Are you okay? Do you need to lie down?" I asked, being a smart ass.

"I think if anyone needs to lie down… it's you." He told me. I sighed.

"Am I done for today?"

"Yes, you're done." He said. I stood up, and groaned, stumbling forward. He caught me, before I would have hit the ground. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine." I told him, pushing myself out of his arms, to stand.

"Alright."

"Are we meeting out here again tomorrow?" I asked, praying he would say no.

"I think we'll do this one more day… just to be safe." He told me. I started to complain, but then remembered I couldn't screw up my chances for this weekend. Instead, I sighed and nodded.

"Alright." I muttered, before walking away. When I got inside, I could still hear everyone else in the gym. I looked at the time to see I'd gotten off a little early. I went upstairs and showered, because after running, I smelled horrible. I then came back downstairs, and grabbed a bottle of water, and headed into the gym. All the other guardians were teaching their novices how to fight, and I was stuck out on the track running. I hated that everyone else was going to be ahead of me. I knew for a fact I could still kick all of their asses, but on the training level, they were ahead. I hated that. Eddie was letting Steven take a break, since he was sprawled out across the mat. He walked over to me.

"What are you doing in here, where's Dimitri?"

"I killed him. He's outside on the track, rotting."

"Alright, smart ass." He snapped at me. It was quite obvious to me that Eddie didn't particularly care for me.

"Dimitri let me go early."

"That's kind of him. Normally, his novices are training way past what we're doing in here." He told me. I shook my head.

"We'll seeing as he made me run so much I almost went into cardiac arrest, he had no choice but to let me go early." I explained. He obviously found humor in this, because he chuckled.

"That sounds like him." He told me. "Well, I have a novice to whip into shape. You'll have to excuse me." He walked back over to Steven and told him to get up. I placed myself on the bench, bringing my knees up and wrapping my arms around them, getting comfortable. I watched each novice as they trained with their mentor. I found Landon working with his guardian. As I sat back, and watched, I noticed that he was actually a really decent fighter, which surprised me. He seemed sort of shy when I'd talked to him yesterday, although it's normally the quiet ones you have to look out for. I saw Dimitri walk in, and expected him to come over and tell me to go back to my room because it wasn't fair that I was done, and they weren't, but he didn't. He stood by the door and watched as they all trained. I was extremely intrigued by all of them. They all had their own technique to what they were doing, some more than others. The girls were a little flustered, but then again… I knew they would be from the moment I stepped onto that bus. Regardless, they were trying. I watched for the longest time, before finally they released all of them. Landon walked over to me.

"Hey… what were you doing in here?"

"Guardian Belikov let me off early, because I almost died out there on the track." I told him.

"He has you running?" He asked me. I nodded.

"Some part of his major plan. I don't know, but he needs to get on with it, because I'm ready to fight. I came here to learn how to kill shit. I know how to run." I told him. He smiled and motioned to the mat.

"You wanna-." He trailed off. I gave him a look.

"You sure about this? I don't want to hurt your feelings if you lose."

"I'm sure I won't mind so much… Losing to you won't be so bad." He said. He was attempting to flirt, which I found kind of cute. I got up, and walked out to the mat with him following me. He smirked.

"Give it your all." He said.

"Don't have to tell me twice." I crouched into my defensive stance, and so did he. We circled once, and he moved in for the attack. He threw a punch which I deflected, but when I made the move to deflect, he landed a kick to my lower leg. I was super tired, and my legs were killing me, so I probably should have taken that into consideration, but I wasn't going to back down from a fight. I went on the offensive, throwing a few kicks and punches. I landed a punch to his chest, and a kick to one of his knee's, causing him to stumble. I tried to take him to the ground, but he guessed my move and feigned me out. I saw someone standing in the door way, but I didn't pay them any mind. I had a fight to win, and I didn't have time to focus on anything else. He threw a kick, and caught me in the stomach really hard. It made me gag, but my adrenaline was pumping now, and I barely felt it. Tomorrow I'd have a bruise from that and running into the fence. I think he realized how hard he kicked me, because he slacked off a little bit, which made me sort of angry. I wasn't a porcelain doll that you had to be gentle with. I could take a beating just like the rest of them could, and I'd still get up swinging. I kicked his leg hard, causing him to fall to his knees. I pushed him backwards, trying to 'stake' him, but he pulled my legs out from under me, much like Eddie had done on introduction day. I wasn't letting it happen a second time. I protected my chest, making sure he had no open spot, and within a second, I shifted my weight, rolling us over and pulling me on top of him. It caught him off guard, so when I placed my hands over his chest, he was still processing that I'd managed to roll the two of us, and win. Both of us were breathing hard, but I had the biggest smile plastered to my face. I stood up, my legs a little wobbly. I offered him a hand, and helped him up.

"You're an amazing fighter, Rose."

"Thanks. You're not so bad yourself. I thought you had me for a second there." I told him. He chuckled, smiling at me.

"So did I." I told him. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, I was starting to feel the effects of that kick to the stomach. I placed my hand over my stomach, causing him to frown.

"I kicked you a lot harder than I thought I did, are you okay?" I lifted my shirt to reveal the red mark on my stomach. A wrinkle formed on his forehead, which made me chuckle.

"I'll be fine. I've had worse." I assured him. "All of it probably isn't from you anyway, I ran into a fence earlier… long story."

"Well, I'm sorry, regardless." He said. I smiled.

"I'll live." I promised. It was then I noticed a bruise forming on his arm. I raised an eyebrow.

"Did I do that?"

"No… I ran into a door the other night coming to the kitchen, and well… that's the result." He told me. I chuckled.

"The doors are always going to be in the same place." I teased.

"I know that now." I turned back to the door where I'd noticed someone standing earlier, but they were gone now.

"Guardian Belikov was there."

"Was he?" I asked. He nodded.

"He was watching."

"Good, maybe he'll realize after seeing that, that I am ready for combat." I said, shaking my head. "I wonder if these people will actually ever teach me anything."

"Maybe he has a motive to what he's teaching you. You never know." He said.

"I wish he'd get on with it then. I'm running again tomorrow." I told him. He laughed.

"Have fun with that." He said.

"Yeah, shut up." I teased. We walked back into the main room.

"That was fun. After I train a little bit more, and start combat, we should do it again." He told me. I nodded.

"So you can redeem yourself?" I asked him.

"That's exactly why." He said, smiling. He was quite adorable, and it was hard not to notice.

"I don't blame you. After that ass-kicking, you need to redeem yourself."

"I know. Well, I'm going to go shower. I'll talk to you later." He said, before walking down the hall. I nodded and went into the kitchen and grabbed something to eat. As I started upstairs, the two girls who's names I couldn't remember came down.

"Oh… Hi, Rose." The blonde one said.

"Hi." I said, as I walked past them. It was obvious they were trying to be friendly, but they'd also been egging on Glenn's jokes a few days ago, and I'd rather not get involved with them. I walked upstairs, and laid down in bed, surprised at how decent of a day I'd actually had, considering everything. I heard my phone beep, and got up to find I had a voicemail from Lissa. I decided I wouldn't listen to it, because if I did, I knew I'd want to call her, and if I called her, I knew this weekend wouldn't be a surprise, because I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut. I slid into her head, and found her laying in her bed, looking at the scars on her arm, and the fresh cut she'd created last night. If I could reach through the bond and slap her, I would. I wondered if she felt my presence through the bond, because she quickly rolled her sleeve back down over the cuts. I needed to get to her, and soon. I couldn't have her losing it on me again, while I was this far away. I was ready to get back to her, ready for this weekend more than words could describe. I didn't know how I'd ever repay Dimitri for what he was doing for me. I guess just not annoying his as much, and doing what he asks of me would suffice as payment enough since he has to put up with me for three months. It was the best I could do, so it would have to work. Regardless, I slipped out of Lissa's head, and curled up in my bed.


	6. Emergency!

When I woke up that morning, I was in a relatively good mood. It shocked me too, trust me. I'm not a morning person… at all. I got dressed and ready for training before heading downstairs. As I reached the bottom stair, and stepped off, someone stepped in front of me. I hadn't been expecting it, so my natural instinct was to swing. When I did, I caught him in the jaw, causing him to stumble backwards. When I realized what happened, I frowned.

"Oh my God, Landon… I'm so sorry." I said. He'd grabbed his face now. He looked up at me, and shook his head.

"This morning just keeps getting better." He muttered.

"Let me see it. I'm so sorry. You scared the shit out of me."

"It's okay." He said, removing his hand from his jaw. It was already starting to swell. "It didn't hurt that bad." He was lying. I knew how hard I'd swung. I touched his face, barely tracing my fingers over where my fist connected, and he flinched.

"Landon… Jeez…I'm sorry."

"It's fine… honestly, Rose." He said, placing his hand over mine for a second, and removing it from his face.

"Look, I'm late… I have to go. I'll make it up to you."

"How?" He asked. I shrugged.

"I don't know… I'll figure something out, I'm sure. I'm really sorry though." I said, starting to walk towards the back door. "And Landon?"

"Yeah?"

"You… You may wanna put some ice on that." I said. He chuckled.

"Thanks." He muttered, sarcastically. I shook my head as I walked out to the track. Dimitri was there, obviously looking at me disapprovingly.

"You're late. I though you said you were going to try and make a habit of being early."

"I was… I was on time, I just got held up inside. I have a good excuse too… I swear." I told him. He gave me a look.

"What held you up inside, Rose?"

"Landon came around the corner when I was coming down the stairs, and he scared me…. And I punched him in the face. It was an accident, and I felt really bad, so I had to apologize like a gazillion times and make sure he was okay." I explained.

"You punched him in the face?"

"He scared me." I snapped, trying to defend myself.

"He scared you that bad?"

"I expected everyone to be with their guardian, and then he came around the corner and well… I hit him. I apologized. I'm gonna make it up to him." I said.

"How?" He asked, almost as if he was about as interested in it as Landon himself. I shrugged.

"I don't know. I'll have to figure it out. I was already bruising when I left him to come here." I shook my head. "Geez, I make a friend, and then punch him in the face." I muttered to myself. This caused Dimitri to chuckle.

"So… I watched you and Landon yesterday."

"You did?" I asked. I knew that, so this was a really dumb question.

"Yes, and I must say… You did exceptionally well."

"Does that mean we can start combat soon then?" I asked, obviously excited. He shook his head.

"No… It means I'll expect more out of you when we get to that part of your training. For right now, you're running. This is what you need to focus on." He told me. I groaned, but nodded.

"Okay." I said, knowing nothing I could say would change his mind. I got on the fence.

"Just run the mile for now…" He told me. I just nodded. I knew I was getting off easy that way. I nodded and lined up on the fence, letting him count me off. It was then the door swung open, revealing Eddie.

"Emergency… now." He called. Dimitri looked at me, and started running for Eddie. I followed, walking inside behind him. All of the guardians were in a group in the main room, all the novices standing off to the side, staring. "There's been an attack at the academy. They need us." He told them all, trying to whisper. My heart stopped, and everything in the world suddenly became obsolete. _Lissa was at the academy… meaning she was in danger, and I wasn't there to protect her. _I slipped into her head to find her in her dorm, lying on her bed, curled up in a ball. Her sadness hit me like a tidal wave. She needed me. I could feel that she felt safe, but it didn't make her miss me any less. I maneuvered through her head, and found that she had a guardian guarding outside her door. That was good, atleast she wasn't unprotected.

"Alright, let's go." Dimitri told the guardians. They started towards the door, leaving two of them standing there, obviously not able to leave us all behind alone. I started after them.

"Wait… Dimitri, take me with you." I said. He turned to look at me.

"We don't have time for this, Dimitri… Come on." Eddie said. He met my eyes, obviously knowing how bad I wanted to go to her. I saw what looked like remorse pass through his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Rose. You need to stay here."

"No… Take me with you… She needs me. You promised." I snapped, anger coursing through me now.

"This is different. The stakes are too high. I can't take you and have you get in the way." He told me.

"Let's go guys." Eddie said, leading the rest of the guardians out. Dimitri stayed behind.

"I wouldn't get in the way and you know it. Please… Don't leave me here." I begged. "I need to be with her." I walked over to him. He laid his hand on my arm, and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Roza… You'll have to stay here." He said, turning and running out. I stood there, at a loss. He left me. He was going to the academy to play hero with the rest of the guardians, while I had to stay here and do nothing. I had to sit here while my charge, my best friend was there in the cross fire. _NO! _I started running for the door when the two guardians that had stayed behind stepped in front of me.

"No, Rose…. You can't go with them."

"I have to… Get off of me." I said, trying to break free from them. I reached up and punched one in the face, as I broke out of their hold, and continued to run for the door. They grabbed me, keeping me from moving.

"Rose…hey… Calm down." Landon said, approaching me. His eye was black and bruised. He looked horrible. It pulled me out of my rage for a moment.

"Oh my god, Landon." I murmured. He smiled slightly.

"It's fine. It'll heal. Right now, you need to calm down. It's going to be fine." He said. He motioned for me to come to him. I took a few steps forward, towards him. When I reached him, I traced the bruising around his eye.

"Landon… I'm sorry."

"I'm fine… It's not a big deal… I told you that." He murmured. He touched my arm. "Are you okay?" My earlier rage flooded back, but it was dull now. I knew there was nothing I could do, and they were already gone. I just nodded.

"I'm fine." I muttered. I turned to the guardian I'd punched, to see him rubbing his face. I thought about apologizing, and shook my head. He shouldn't have tried to restrain me. "I'm just gonna go to my room now." I told him, turning to walk towards the stairs.

"Rose, are you going to-." I cut him off.

"I'm going to be fine." I said, before heading to my room. When I got there, I slammed the door hard, almost causing its hinges to break. I grabbed the first thing I came into contact with and slung it across the room screaming. He lied. He promised me he'd take me to her, and he didn't. He went to her, and he left me here, left me when she needed me, when I needed her. I thought I could trust him. I was obviously wrong. Once again, I'd made the mistake of trusting others. I ended up destroying my room in my rage fit. I sat on my bed for the longest time, angry tears flowing down my face. I finally decided to get some fresh air, so I headed downstairs. The sun was just staring to peak over the horizon as I opened the back door and walked out to the track. I ran it once, before walking over to the sidewalk, and sitting down. I sat there wondering what was going on, how she was doing. I debated on slipping into her head to see how things were going, but I knew doing so would only make me angrier that I hadn't been there with her when she needed me most. Instead, I sat there with my face in my hands, trying to keep my composure. It wasn't hard to set me off, but when you lied to me, it was like pulling the pin on a grenade. I wondered if I ran away, how far I'd get before they actually found me. When I first found out they were sending me here, I considered it, but I knew what it'd do to Lissa if I up and disappeared. Everything I did, no matter how big or small, was done with her in consideration. That was how I knew I was meant to be her guardian, and how I knew that one day, I would be no matter what anyone said. I heard his boots hit the sidewalk, but I didn't move. Instead, I spoke first.

"Look whose back." I muttered angrily. He hesitated.

"Rose, I didn't-." I cut him off.

"I don't want to hear it." I snapped at him.

"I couldn't risk taking you with us, Rose." He told me.

"No... You wouldn't have been risking anything, Dimitri." I snapped, jumping up and finally turning to look at him. It was then I realized how worn out he looked. He had bruises on his face and arms. He must have taken some pretty hard hits. "I can take care of myself." I finally said.

"I wouldn't have taken that chance. I wouldn't have been able to protect you and myself, plus whoever else needed it at the academy."

"I wouldn't have needed your help." I told him. He shook his head.

"You seem to be so sure. Rose, your stubbornness is going to get you killed."

"No… it isn't. Lissa needed me. You told me you would take me to her, and you lied. You left me here when you promised you'd take me to her." I snapped at him, angry tears threatening to leak down my face again.

"I wasn't going to risk your life to fulfill a promise, Rose. It was dangerous… You're not trained well enough to take on a strigoi, and I wasn't going to put you in that situation." He told me.

"NO. I wouldn't have been fine." I yelled at him.

"Rose, you wouldn't have." He snapped.

"You're fucking stupid. You have no idea what you're talking about. I'm an amazing fighter, and I would have been perfectly fine. You've underestimated me since the moment I got here, making me run fucking laps, while the rest of the novices are working on combat." I yelled at him. I was on a slippery slope, and I wasn't sure how long I could stay before I slid off the edge.

"I've never underestimated you." He said, simply.

"No, you're an idiot. Lissa needs me, she needed me today, and you left me here. I would have been a lot of help, but no… You left me here to sit and worry, to cower in the corner like a moroi." I was shaking I was so upset. I'd let him have it. He took a few steps forward, and took my face in his hands.

"Roza… She's okay. I know that you're upset that I left you here, but I checked on her for you, specifically for you. I wasn't leaving there without making sure she was safe. You have a right to be upset with me, but I made the best decision for you, whether you believe me or not, and you're wrong. I've never underestimated you. I know what you're capable of, but I also know that you're not ready to take on a strigoi alone, Rose. Guardians who have been promised for years still aren't ready. I wasn't going to risk you life." He explained, looking deep into my eyes. I got lost in his eyes, falling into their depths as he voices his concern for my safety.

"I was wrong to trust you."

"No… You weren't. I plan on making good on my promise… I just couldn't do it today." He told me. I shook my head.

"Your promises mean nothing to me now, Guardian Belikov." I started to walk away, but he called after me. I kept walking. Finally, he raised his voice. "I am your mentor, and you're to do as I say. I said stop." He barked. I froze. Regardless of how I felt, I'd remain loyal to the fact he was my authority. I stood there for a second, before turning to him.

"What?" I snapped.

"I made the best decision for you, Rose. I wasn't going to risk your life. Your life is too valuable to risk like that." He said. I shook my head.

"I'm not a moroi; you're not supposed to be concerned with my life, Dimitri." I snapped back at him.

"No… But you are my novice, and that makes you my concern. It's my job to look after you, Rose." He walked over to me, and bent down to meet my eyes. "Normal people would say thank you."

"Normal isn't exactly the word I'd use to describe myself." I said, smartly. He shook his head slightly.

"I know how hard it is for you to be away from her, but you'll get through it, and I'll help you."

"I don't-." I started to say, but he shook his head.

"Just nod, Rose." I rolled my eyes.

"By the way… Your room is a disaster. You know you have to clean that up, right?" He asked. I groaned and walked around him.

"Goodnight Rose." He called as I walked inside, the door slamming behind me. I threw a glance out the window as I started up the stairs to see him smiling. I continued into my room, and threw everything onto the floor, crawling into bed.


	7. Come Home!

When I woke up the next morning, it was to someone beating on my door. There were two problems with this scenario. One, it was earlier than I get up on training days, and two, it was Saturday… It was my day to sleep in, and someone was ruining it for me.

"Go away, I'm sleeping." I groaned, pulling the blankets over my head.

"Rose, open the door." Dimitri's voice said, no mistaking it for anyone else. I rolled out of bed, and stumbled my way to the door, unlocking it. I turned and walked away.

"Come in." I said, collapsing back onto my bed.

"Get up, and get dressed."

"I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but its Saturday, and also three o' clock."

"I'm very aware of what time it is, but if you want to make it to the academy while they're all awake, we have to go now." He said, his Russian accent lacing through his voice. I sat straight up out of my bed.

"I'm sorry… what?"

"I made a promise to you… I intended to keep it." He said.

"But after last night… I didn't think-." He shook his head.

"I didn't either, but I legitimately felt bad about leaving you here when I promised. I'm not sorry, because you could have been hurt, but… I'm going to make it up to you now." He said.

"Why didn't you say anything last night when I was blowing up at you?" I asked him.

"I didn't decide until this morning." He admitted. I met his eyes. "So, get dressed and meet me out front." I just stared, kind of confused and a little disoriented. I was going to see Lissa. He was actually taking me to the academy. "Are you okay?" He snapped me out of my trance.

"Yeah… I'm-. I'm getting ready now." I said, jumping up. He nodded, and walked out, closing the door behind him. I didn't miss the final glance he threw me before the door closed behind him. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, slipping them on. I did my make-up, and ran a brush through my hair, before running downstairs and out the front door. He smiled when I slammed it behind me.

"You ready?" I nodded. "I think that's the quickest I've ever seen you get ready for anything."

"Because I want to do this. I don't want to train in the mornings." I explained. As we started towards the van, I glanced back at the estate. "Do the other guardians know what you're doing today?"

"No… and they don't need to know."

"But if it's-." I started, but he cut me off, unlocking my door for me.

"I'm head guardian. I can do what I feel is right here, and this is it. I don't follow their orders, they follow mine." He said, simply. I just nodded as I got in. He walked around the other side of the van, and got into the driver's seat. As he backed out, and started for the gates, I saw Landon looking out the window. I quickly averted my gaze back out the windshield.

"How are they going to feel about you bringing me back to the academy?" I asked.

"They'll have to deal. I'll be with you, to keep you under control and all, so it shouldn't be that big of a thing." He told me.

"They kicked me out for a reason though. They're probably going to give you hell about bringing me back, even if it is for a short amount of time. They think I 'corrupt their students and the peace of their campus.' They can all bite me." I told him. He smiled slightly.

"I'll take the heat for bringing you back. You won't."

"You're willing to do that?" I asked. He just nodded, keeping his eyes on the road. He finally reached forward and turned on the radio. I watched as he scanned through the stations, until finally he stopped. As the music filled the van, I realized that it was old western music. I gagged. "You're kidding right? This is what you listen to?"

"Yes… Do you have a problem with it?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yeah, the fact that it came out like a hundred years before I was born."

"Your exaggerating a little, don't you think?" He asked me. I rolled my eyes.

"Can't you change it to something that came out after I was born?" I asked, looking at him. He finally nodded.

"Sure." He said. I watched as he flipped through the channels, and landed on a more modern country station. I groaned and sat back in my chair.

"This is going to be a long ride." I muttered. This caused him to chuckle. I was glad he found amusement in this torture.

"Are you going to be able to find Lissa when we get there?" He asked.

"I'm sure." I told him. It was Saturday, so she wouldn't be in class, but I knew even if she wasn't in her room, I'd be able to find her very easily. When we got to the academy, the Guardians permitted Dimitri and I entrance, and we parked. It was strange being back here. I hated this place more than anything, but because Lissa was here, I'd always known I'd be back. I wouldn't ever be able to just leave her. As we walked into the office, I watched as Kirova jumped up.

"Guardian Belikov, what are you doing?" She asked, her voice hard as if she were reprimanding a student.

"I've brought Rose here to see Vasilisa."

"That was the sole reason she was kicked out, Belikov. I do not understand why you've brought her back." She barked.

"Kirova, calm down. Don't get your panties in a wad, jeez. I'm only here for a visit."

"No… I will not have this on my campus." She said, motioning to me. "She's a corruption to my students and to the peace here on campus. I will not allow it. We don't need this here a day after an attack."

"I will be with her, headmistress Kirova. I will not allow her to corrupt anything while she's here. She needs to see Vasilisa, and then I'll take her back to the estate, and we'll be out of your hair." Dimitri said, keeping his voice calm and smooth. Kirova glared at us for a short while, before finally giving in.

"You have until curfew on this campus… After that, you are to be off and not to return, do you understand?" She asked, looking at me. I saluted her like an army soldier saluting their general. She rolled her eyes.

"Thanks." I said, before walking out. Dimitri trailed out after me, shaking his head.

"No wonder she doesn't like you."

"What? You either get used to my attitude and the way I am, or you hate me. She chose to hate me… like I care." I said, starting for the dining hall, where I knew she was.

"Where are we going?"

"Dining hall... She's eating breakfast." It was then I realized I'd let him in on too much. He raised an eyebrow, so I thought up a quick lie. I looked at my watch, and shrugged. "She always ate at this time. It was part of her routine." He bought it, but still regarded me suspiciously. The moment I opened the doors of the dining hall, every head snapped up and looked at me. Once again, I was the center of attention. I started into the room, until Lissa stepped out into the walk way.

"Rose."

"Hey Liss." I said. She started running, and jumped into my arms. I laughed as I spun her around. "God, I've missed you." I could feel the question in her head. _What was I doing here? _"I knew you needed me, so I came to visit."

"Kirova let you."

"She had no choice… I had Dimitri to back me up." I said, motioning to the tall, Russian Mauler standing behind me. Dimitri bowed slightly.

"Princess."

"Please, call me Lissa." She said. He just nodded. The eyes of the entire student body never left us.

"It's impolite to stare." I snapped loudly. Every one of them turned around. I smiled as I averted my attention back to Lissa.

"Come on, let's get out of here." I told her, taking her hand. We started for the door when a boy I recognized stepped forward.

"Hey Rose." He said. I smiled.

"Mason." I hugged him. "How are you?"

"I'm good. Things aren't the same without you around here, Hathaway."

"Oh, I know. You'll just have to deal with how boring the place is now." I told him. He chuckled and Dimitri shook his head.

"I guess I will. How's training?" He asked.

"It's…. it's training. What can I say?" I said, glancing at Dimitri. He rolled his eyes. "Alright, well we have to go. I'll see you around Mason." I told him.

"Will you?"

"Ehh… It's a slim chance, but it'll give you something to look forward too if you do." I said, smirking at him as I walked away. Once we were outside, I heard the question form in Lissa's head. "You wanna head back to your room?" She just nodded. When we reached the girls dorm, with Dimitri following, Lissa unlocked her door and walked in.

"Can I talk to Rose… alone?" Lissa asked Dimitri. He looked at me.

"Can I trust you?"

"Do you think we're going to try and escape again?" I asked him.

"Rose!" He said, letting me know he meant business.

"Yes, you can trust me." I promised. He met my eyes for a second, before nodding.

"Alright." He said. "I'll wait out here." I just nodded as I shut the door.

"Why are you really here?"

"I knew you needed me. I felt how much you missed me, and knew I needed to see you." I told her. I then grabbed a hold of her wrist, and pulled her sleeves up, looking at them. They were worse than they were before. I'd never seen so many scars on one person, even a guardian. "What did I tell you about this?" I demanded.

"I know, but you were gone, and I needed you. The distance isn't good for me, Rose. It's driving me insane." She told me. I nodded.

"I know, Lissa… I know, but you've got to stop this. You're going to hurt yourself."

"But when I need it, it feels so good. It's like everything that's bottled up in me, just floats away." She explained. I nodded. I remembered the relief she'd felt when I'd been in her head that night.

"I know, but it doesn't make it right. What if you cut to deep, what if you die? What then? I can't save you like you save me, and I cannot lose you, Lissa." I snapped at her.

"I know, I know."

"No… You don't understand. I'll have nothing left if something happens to you. You've got to stop this. Find a new way to cope… something, anything other than this." I told her.

"There is nothing else." She said. I grabbed her face.

"If you take yourself away from me, Lissa… I'm holding you personally responsible." I told her. She laid her hands over mine, and shook her head.

"I can't believe they took you away from me. If they understood what it was really doing to me." She said, tears leaking down her face.

"We will make it through this. We will survive, Lissa. We always survive… remember that."

"You seem so sure." She whispered, wiping her eyes.

"Because I am. I wouldn't have left had I doubted that. I would have snuck back, kidnapped you and we would have run again. I have faith that we'll pull through this." I told her. She just nodded.

"What would I do without you?" She murmured. We both knew the answer to that, so it went unspoken. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her for a moment.

"So, how is training and stuff at that place?"

"It's… its coming along, I guess. I kind of stay to myself there." I admitted.

"You don't have any friends there?"

"I have one, but I kind of punched him in the eye the other day, so I'm not exactly sure how much he likes me anymore." I admitted. It was then I remembered him trying to calm me down after Dimitri left me last night.

"Rose!"

"It was an accident… He scared me." I told her. She giggled. There was a knock on the door, so I called to come in. Dimitri stood there for a second, looking back and forth between Lissa and me before letting his eyes fall on me.

"Rose, can I talk to you alone for a second?" He asked. I nodded.

"Sure, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine. I just wanna speak to you for a second." He said. I nodded and stood up.

"I'll be back." I told Lissa, before following him out of Lissa's room and downstairs, outside. When we finally stopped walking, I narrowed my eyes. "Something is wrong."

"No… Nothing's wrong." He said, shaking his head.

"Then what is it?"

"I know why you needed to see Lissa now, Rose." He told me. I felt my heart sink. There was no way he could know. How could he have figured it out?

"What? What are you talking about?" I asked.

"You're bonded, Rose." He said, so sure of himself.

"How do you? What? How do you know?" I asked, running my hands through my hair. I couldn't believe he knew. No one knew, and he'd known it the first time he saw us together. Was it really that obvious?

"I had a feeling when we first arrived, and you knew exactly where she was, and the way she stepped out of the crowd to find you. Then, I might have been listening a little to your conversation from the other side of the door." He admitted.

"You were listening to our conversation!" I yelled. "How dare you!"

"I'm sorry. It was wrong, and I know… but I needed to know things like this about you. I can help you both, Rose. You have to trust-." I shook my head.

"No… How am I supposed to trust you when you were eavesdropping on my conversation, Dimitri? If you had suspicions you should have asked me."

"You would have lied to me, and you know it. You would have never told me." He said. We stood at a stalemate, and I had no idea what to do. He was right… I never would have told him on my own. I would never trust anyone with that information, and now… it was public knowledge. I just stared at him.

"I'm going back to her." I snapped, turning from him and starting back to her dorm.

"Rose, wait-."

"I have nothing more to say to you." I said, walking away from him. I walked back inside, and upstairs into Lissa's room, slamming the door, and locking it behind me.

"Dimitri knows." I murmured.

"What?" She asked.

"He knows we're bonded."

"What? How?" She demanded. I shook my head.

"He guessed for himself, but he was listening in on our conversation earlier and figured it out."

"He was eavesdropping?" I just nodded.

"What are we going to do, Lissa? Someone knows. What if he tells someone? What if they find out about what you can do? What if they try and take you away from here?" I murmured, pacing.

"Rose, we have to get out of here." She said. I shook my head.

"We can't. Dimitri's right outside and there's no way to escape this time. We're stuck, and royally fucked."

"Rose, what are we-." I shook my head.

"I don't know." I whispered. I sat down on her bed. "We'll have to find our way through it, because we're stuck this time. There's nowhere to run."

"I'm scared." She said.

"I'm not gonna let anything happen to you." I promised.

"But how are you going to protect me while you're there and I'm here." She said.

"I'll figure it out." I said. "I will not let anything happen to you. If it gets bad, I'll find a way to get you out of here, but for now… we need to stay where we are, and just go on about our lives as normal as possible." I told her. We talked for a little while longer, before Dimitri knocked.

"It's almost curfew, Rose. It's time to go." He called through the door. I sighed, and glared at the direction his voice came from. I hugged Lissa tight.

"I love you, Lissa. I'll know if you need me. Just stay strong, and please… be safe."

"I'll do my best." She said.

"That's all I ask." I hugged her again, and took a deep breath before walking out and past Dimitri, never once looking at him. I walked out to the van, and stood at the door, waiting for him to come back from the office. When he finally arrived, he unlocked my door. I started to open it, when he put an arm in front of me.

"You have to talk to me at some point." He told me. I said nothing. I stepped back, and crossed my arms. "Are you really going to act like a five year old, and ignore me?" I remained silent. He sighed and walked to the other side of the van and got in. I got in the passenger's seat, and situated myself to where I wasn't facing him. As he pulled out of the gates, he sighed. The tension in the van was thick and could have been cut with a knife. Lissa and I's bond wasn't something I ever intended on telling him, or anyone for that matter. It wasn't anyone else's concern but ours, and he had no business snooping, and listening to our conversation. It was low and so unlike him. Finally, after about five minutes of dead silence, he spoke.

"Rose, I'm sorry." He finally said. I said nothing. I continued to stare out the window, watching as we drove farther and farther away from Lissa. "Please, say something."

"I have nothing to say to you." I muttered, never looking at him.

"Rose, I said I'm sorry. What more do you want?"

"What you did was wrong, and low. You shouldn't have been eavesdropping, Dimitri. You didn't need to know. It's not any of your concern." I snapped at him.

"It's your concern, and since I'm your mentor, and you are my responsibility, it makes it my concern." He said.

"You didn't need to know. Lissa and I have kept it under wraps, but you've obviously ruined that now." I told him. "Who are you going to tell? Kirova? Alberta? They'll take her away from the academy. They'll treat her like some kind of laboratory rat." I shook my head as I thought about it.

"I didn't tell anyone, and I don't plan on it."

"What?" I asked, turning to look at him. I hadn't heard right.

"Rose, the way I went about finding out was wrong, yes… but even if you had told me, I wouldn't say anything to anyone."

"You're serious." I said.

"I'm a guardian, Rose. I'm a man of honor. I wouldn't lie to you about something like this. I understand you and Lissa's reasoning for wanting to keep it under wraps." He told me. I nodded.

"Thank you." I said, turning to stare back out the window. I missed her already. I hated being away from her. The van fell silent again for awhile, before Dimitri spoke again.

"Rose? Can I ask you something?" He said.

"Sure." I said, not really sure what he was about to ask.

"If your bonded to Lissa… that means that you've… you've died before… correct?" He asked me. I continued staring out the window, remembering that night.

"I have." I whispered.

"Do you mind if I asked what happened?" He asked me.

"It was late…. The road was wet that night. Eric was driving. We were coming back from dinner, when something ran out into the road. He swerved, and that's all I remember. Next thing I knew, I was waking up in the hospital with a bloody Lissa sitting next to me." I told him.

"She healed you." He stated.

"It's the only way I could have lived. I've watched her heal other things… animals. I convinced her that it was bad for her, and she needed to stop. I convinced her that it was dangerous that people knew." I told him. I found myself opening up to him now that he knew. I wasn't sure why, but I felt I could trust him… even though I didn't want to.

"Is that why you took her from the academy?"

"I was scared someone would find out. I was scared they'd take her away from me." I told him. "I wasn't taking that chance. We would have been fine, had they not found us. We would have survived on our own; like we did for the two months we were gone."

"I don't doubt that." He told me. I turned to him.

"I would have given my life for her."

"I know you would have. I know you will. That's what'll make you a good guardian. You're passionate. You love her. She's your best friend, and it's obvious that you'd never let anything happen to her. The people at the academy are blind if they don't see that." He told me.

"I'm scared they're not going to let me be her guardian. I have to be her guardian. I'm the only one who can protect her like she needs, the only one that will ever really be able to take care of her." I explained.

"Being a princess, and a royal, she'll need that kind of protection. I think that's protection only a guardian like you would be able to give her." He said. I nodded. The van was silent once again, until we got back to the estate. When we got out, and started towards the door.

"Don't tell anyone where we went today. I'll deal with the guardians, but the other novices don't need to know." He told me. I nodded.

"I won't say anything." I promised. "Hey Dimitri?" He turned back to me, and I stood there for a second. I wasn't sure how he'd react, but I didn't care. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tight. "Thank you so much for today, for taking me to see her. I needed that." He wrapped his arms around me as well, holding me for a moment before letting go.

"You're welcome. You do realize, I expect to see more out of you now at training?"

"I do. If you're actual going to start training me." I snapped playfully.

"Get some sleep, Rose. You're going to need it in the morning." He said. The statement was just asking for a witty, Rose Hathaway quip, but I let it slide.

"Goodnight Dimitri."

"Goodnight, Rose." He said, smiling slightly before I turned and walked inside, heading upstairs, and cuddling in bed.


	8. Heat!

The next morning was kind of weird. I didn't know what to do with myself. I was so used to waking up, training, eating, and going back to bed, that now that I had the day to myself, I was kind of at loss. I mean, yesterday I'd kept busy, but now it was kind of weird. When I went downstairs, everyone was sitting around, relaxing. I walked into the kitchen and got a bottle of water, before sitting down at the table. I looked around to notice that Landon was missing. I wondered where he was and how his eye was doing. It had looked pretty bad the last time I saw him. I still felt horrible for hitting the kid. I got up and walked past the window, when something caught my eye outside. I looked to see someone outside running the track. I turned back to the door and walked out. As I got closer, I could see Landon coming around the far side of the track. I reached the gate the same time he did. He stopped and smiled at me slightly.

"Trying to find something productive to do with your time too?" I asked.

"Yeah, I guess. This sitting around thing just isn't working for me." He told me, chuckling. He lifted his shirt, and wiped his face that was pouring sweat. I'm not going to lie; it was kind of hard to ignore Landon's rockin' body.

"I know how you feel. I've been used to being up and going for the last few days, this laziness is throwing me off." I admitted. He chuckled.

"So, where'd you and guardian Belikov go yesterday? I saw you guys leave, and you didn't come back until this morning." It was then I realized that I hadn't come up with a story yet. I debated on telling him. Regardless of what Dimitri has said, I felt I could trust Landon. I thought better of it though, and came up with a story.

"We had some things to clear up with the guardians at the academy. We had to meet up with them to take care of some stuff about me being here." I lied smoothly.

"Oh. Is everything okay?" He asked, obviously buying my story.

"Yeah, but it was such a short notice thing that they really didn't do any paperwork or anything, so I had to sign some stuff, and so did Dimi-, I mean Guardian Belikov." I told him. I hated lying to the only friend I had here, but it was necessary, obviously.

"Oh, I gotcha." He said, nodding. I smiled.

"So, what did you do all day yesterday?"

"A whole lot of nothing. I was losing my mind." He told me, running his hands through his hair. I laughed.

"I would have much rather been here, doing nothing than driving for three hours with Guardian Belikov to meet up with the two people responsible for kicking me out, and separating me from my best friend." I told him. He shrugged.

"I guess you do have me beat."

"I do… always." I told him, chuckling.

"You had to bring it up, didn't you? Jeez Hathaway, you can't let it go." He teased.

"Nope… I kicked your ass. I'm never letting it go. You should get that through your head now."

"I knew I'd never live it down." He told me.

"Never!" I repeated. He chuckled, and shook his head.

"You're something else, Hathaway."

"Don't be jealous." I said.

"Oh, I'm so jealous of you."

"Isn't everyone?" I asked.

"Close." He teased. I laughed, shaking my head. I heard the back door close, and saw Dimitri walk around the side of the estate. I stood there for a second, wondering what he was doing.

"Hey, will you excuse me for a second?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna get another lap in before I go take a shower." I just nodded, and turned away, walking towards where I'd seen Dimitri disappear around the corner of the house. When I got over there, he was sitting on an old stack of cross ties, rubbing his face.

"Dimitri…" I murmured.

"I wanted to be alone." He said.

"Yeah, I said something similar the night you found me on the sidewalk crying, but you didn't leave, therefore, I've earned a right to stay." I told him. He just shook his head at me, obviously annoyed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He lied. I rolled my eyes.

"Dimitri…" I started.

"Rose, really… nothing is wrong. I just need a minute to think… alone. Just go inside."

"You're a bad liar."

"It's an order, Hathaway." He barked. I stood up straighter hearing the authority in his voice. I knew any good novice would listen to her mentor and walk away, but it was then that I realized something.

"It's yesterday, isn't it?" I asked.

"Rose…"

"Dimitri, tell me." I snapped.

"They think I made a stupid choice taking you to see Lissa. They think it's not fair that you got to see her when the rest of the novices have been cut off from all of their friends at their original schools. They also think it's not fair because you were sent her on discipline, but regardless." He told me.

"It's not the same thing. I don't expect them to understand." I said, shaking my head.

"I don't either." He said.

"I'm sorry that you had to endure that for me. I really appreciate what you did for me. You know that, right?" I asked. He nodded.

"I know. That's why I don't regret it. They wouldn't understand, and of course I'm in no authority to make them understand. I guess what I did wasn't fair to the other novices, but like you said, the situation is different."

"They don't suffer from being apart the way Lissa and I do." I admitted, looking down.

"How bad is it?" He asked.

"It's like half of your soul is missing. It's almost like being half strigoi." I said.

"Because naturally, you'd know what being full strigoi is like." He teased. I was surprised when he have me half of a smile.

"Naturally."

"I said I'd take the heat for it, and I did." He said.

"It's not without cost though."

"I know." He said, looking up at me. "You ready for combat tomorrow?" He asked.

"You mean it?"

"I do. You better rest good tonight, because you're going to be hurting tomorrow."

"I doubt it. I almost took Eddie down, remember? I'm sure you can't be that much better than him." I said. Dimitri turned and revealed the back of his neck to me. Along with the promise mark that was underneath his hair line laid seven molnija marks.

"You've killed seven strigoi?"

"I've probably killed more, some just went unaccounted for." He said.

"I'll get a mark for everyone I kill. I want the marks to prove how badass I am." I informed him. He shook his head at me.

"When you become a promised guardian, the trivial things like molnija marks don't matter anymore. What matters is that you escaped that battle with your life. The mark is just like a scar, it's a reminder of the pain." He told me.

"That's what I want." I said, rubbing the back of my neck, which was empty. He just smiled.

"You'll see when your finally promised, and out in the real world with Lissa."

"I've already been out in the real world. Two years, Lissa and I were on our own… remember that." I said.

"I know you were, but did you kill anything while you were on your own for two years?" He asked.

"I killed a psihounds." I admitted. I hadn't ever told anyone about that.

"I mean strigoi."

"No, I haven't, but I would have if I needed too." I told him.

"Would you have made it out of that battle as unprepared and unskilled as you are?" He asked.

"Hey, watch it now… I'm not that unskilled."

"Compared to me, and some of the other guardians, yes… you are." He said.

"But Eddie-." He cut me off, knowing where I was going.

"Yes, you took down Eddie. He was going easy on you, and don't repeat this, because if you do… I'll deny it. Eddie doesn't have the best defense… he's more of an offensive player." He told me. I smirked.

"Hello blackmail." I said.

"He'll believe me before he'll believe you."

"We'll see… just keep that in mind when you make me angry." I told him. He rolled his eyes at me.

"Whatever." He said, simply. It was obvious that he was in a better mood now. I was happy to know I was the reason, and I didn't know why.

"I guess we'll see tomorrow, won't we?"

"I guess so." He said.

"Are we meeting in the gym then?" I asked. He shook his head.

"No, we'll be meeting at the track."

"But the other novices-." He cut me off.

"For someone who's used to sticking out, you sure are concerned with what all the other novices are doing." He told me. I narrowed my eyes.

"Watch it." I snapped. He chuckled and stood up.

"Just be ready for tomorrow. You might wanna get a lot of rest. You're going to need it." This was asking for a witty, Rose Hathaway quip, but I let this one slide.

"I'll be ready." I said, simply. He nodded and walked away, leaving me standing there for a second. I watched as he disappeared and walked back to the track to find Landon gone, like I knew he would be. I started on the fence and ran a couple laps before sitting down on the sidewalk, and letting myself go to Lissa. When I finally got into her head, she was staring at someone that kind of shocked me. _Christian Ozera. _At first, panic flooded through me, due to the fact that his parents had become strigoi by choice, but when I was finally able to focus on the words, I noticed they were having a civil conversation. The place they were located though through me off a little bit. They were in what looked like an attic of sorts. Then I realized they were in the attic of the church on campus. What was he doing there? I thought that was Lissa's hideout. I listened to their conversation for a few minutes, before I got bored with them. She was okay, and that was all I needed to know. I slipped out of her head, and when I opened my eyes, I found Landon standing before me. I jumped.

"Rose, are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?" I asked, looking up at him.

"I've been calling your name for the past five minutes, and you were like zoned out." He told me. I smiled.

"Sorry… I do that from time to time. I was in my own little world." I said. He chuckled.

"I'll say... Jeez, you were like in a coma." He said. It was quite obvious I was completely out of it when I was fully in Lissa's head. I'd have to remember that.

"I'm sorry." I said again. He chuckled and sat down next to me.

"Why are you out here all alone?"

"Just thinking about some stuff, and we all know I don't have many friends in there." I said, motioning to the house. He chuckled.

"I guess you're right." He said. I sighed.

"It kinda sucks not having many friends when you're in a new place." I said.

"You have me."

"I know, and that's cool, but when the rest of them are around, and you feel like an outcast, it's different." I told him. He nodded.

"I bet, considering how you fit in so well." He teased, elbowing me. I laughed.

"Shut up." I muttered. We sat outside, talking for awhile before we finally went inside. Landon hugged me, and went upstairs to go to bed. I made me some dinner, and sat down at the table to eat. When I was finished, I went upstairs and laid down in my bed. I sat there for a few minutes, before I let myself slip into Lissa's head. She was worried about something, but I couldn't quite figure out what it was. I picked through her head, looking for what was wrong, when I found out what it was. Christian knew she was cutting. My body flooded with head. How could she let someone know? Why would she-. I cut the thought off, because I realized it was an accident that he'd found out. He'd seen the scars. _Damn it. _I continued searching her head, making sure that was ALL he knew. From what I found, it was… but I still thought it was too much. She got up and went into the bathroom, standing in the mirror. She looked down at the counter to the razor blade. _No… No, Lissa… no. _She was debating with herself whether she needed it or not. I was screaming at her, trying to get her to hear me, but I knew she couldn't. She stared at it for the longest time before she picked it up. She brought it to her wrist, taking a deep breath, before I screamed as loud as I could _NO! _The moment I screamed, she dropped the razor into the sink. I could feel her confusion. She looked around as if someone was in the room. Oh my God, did she hear me yell?

"Rose?" She whispered, looking around her empty bathroom, and looking out the bathroom door. She'd heard me. Oh my God, she'd heard me. I couldn't believe that she'd actually heard me. I wondered if I'd broken some boundary or something between us. I couldn't help how excited I was. I was bouncing around my room like an idiot. I was glad I was alone. When I was finally calm, I crawled into bed, hoping to get a good night's rest before combat with Dimitri in the morning. It was difficult, but I finally managed to force myself into unconsciousness.


	9. Hard Headed!

I woke up the next morning, so ready to go. I knew I was starting combat today and I was super excited. I threw on some workout clothes, did a little make-up, and threw my hair into a messy bun before starting downstairs. Landon was lacing up his shoes at the table when I walked into the main room. He smiled up at me as he stood.

"Goodmorning sunshine."

"Morning." I said, smiling as I grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. He raised an eyebrow.

"Someone's in a good mood." He noticed. I shrugged.

"I guess I am, huh?"

"You seem to be. It's a good look for you." He teased. I smiled.

"Any look is a good look for me." I retorted simply. He laughed and nodded.

"Touché." He said, before walking towards the gym. "Have fun training."

"You know I will." I told him, before walking out the back door. When I walked out, Dimitri had one of the practice mats set up on the track. He was sitting on it, stretching his legs. When the door shut behind me, he looked up.

"Good morning."

"Morning comrade." I said, as I stepped on the mat. "It's good to see your preparing yourself."

"Be quiet, and stretch, Rose." He muttered, shaking his head. It was obvious that he was in a good mood too, which was always a good thing. You never got in between with Dimitri. It was either one or the other. I sat my bottle of water down on the ground, and started stretching. While mid-stretch, I turned to Dimitri.

"Why don't you want to train inside? In the air condition, you know?" I asked. He chuckled and shook his head.

"Because odds are, any strigoi you meet in your lifetime, you aren't going to meet them in an air conditioned and padded room." He told me. I rolled my eyes.

"So, you're going to make me train out here, and pour sweat, just to teach me that?" I asked. He nodded.

"Pretty much, yes." He said, nodding. "And also because it's funny to hear you complain about it."

"You love to torture me, don't you?" I asked.

"I got stuck with you, so I have to entertain myself somehow." He said. My mouth was gaping open at this point. The light chuckle that came from him caused me to smile. I couldn't help but be happy when he was in a good mood. It was contagious around him. "I was kidding, Rose."

"Yeah, sure." I muttered, smirking at him. I stood up. "Let's do this."

"You sure about that?"

"I'm positive. I'm not afraid of you. I have a feeling you're not as big and bad as you look." I said, placing a hand on my hip. Before I knew what happened, my feet were flying out from under me, and I was on my back, staring up into a set of dark chocolate eyes. I was completely out of breath, and I hadn't even moved. He smirked down at me, causing my heart to skip a beat.

"Not so big and bad, huh?" He asked, staring down at me. I was kind of left speechless for a second. I just kind of gawked up at him like an idiot, before my open mouth turned into a smirk. I tried to shift my weight and roll us, which would put me over him, but he guessed my move, and pinned my arms above my head, and used one of his legs to cover mine to make sure I couldn't move. I growled.

"Damn you." I muttered. He chuckled.

"I could tell what you were thinking before you made the conscious decision to do it." He told me.

"How?" I demanded. He shrugged.

"I don't know… You're just easy for me to read." He said.

"I'm not your book, Belikov." I said, trying to wiggle my way out of his grasp. I wasn't succeeding though. He laughed, obvious finding this amusing. I finally gave up, and sighed. "Let me up, please."

"Nope… take back what you said." He said.

"No… I'm not afraid of you, Dimitri." I said.

"Take it back, or we'll stay like this all day."

"That'll be awkward when someone comes out and see's this. I'll scream rape." I threatened. He released my hands. I laughed as I caught him off guard. I pushed myself up and shifted myself out from under him. I stood up, and turned on him, going to attempt to take him to the ground, when he took me down again. "Damn it." I said. He stood up, helping me up. He smiled.

"You're not as good as you thought, huh?"

"Shut up." I muttered, as I brushed myself off. He smiled.

"Alright, now… are you ready to actually train, or do you want to continue on this unforsaken path you've started down?" He asked me. I growled.

"Teach me, master." I said, mocking a bow. He shook his head at me.

"Alright, let's go." He said, crouching down.

"What?" I asked, my voice shaking slightly.

"You sound scared." He observed.

"Scared? Never. You're not going to… I don't know, teach me something first?" I asked. He smiled.

"I wanna see what you can do first? Come on… I'll go easy on you." He tried.

"Liar. I can see it in your eyes that you're lying." I snapped. He sighed.

"I promise." He said, meeting my gaze. I groaned.

"Fine, let's do this." I said. I crouched down and took a deep breath, before we circled and I threw a punch. He dodged it and kicked my calf, causing me to stumble. He tried to grab me and take me down then, but I wasn't going down that easily. I caught myself and moved under his arm, landing a punch to his stomach. He took the full force of my hit, causing him to flinch a little. He didn't falter though, and kept coming with his attacks. We exchanged blows for the longest time, before my body finally started getting weak. He landed a kick to my stomach, causing me to stumble back and off the mat and onto the track. I didn't realize I'd done it until I felt my head smack the pavement.

"Rose?" Dimitri exclaimed, but I was already fading in and out of consciousness. I grabbed my head, the pain echoing through my skull. "Rose… come on, Roza… Stay awake." He begged.

"Fuck… It hurts." I screamed, causing my head to throb even more. I felt him scoop me up into his arms, as the ground disappeared underneath me. Tears were streaming down my face as he ran back to the house with me. The more he moved with me in his arms, the more my head throbbed. I tried not to scream and moan, but I couldn't help it. I'd experienced pain, but never anything like this. It was like death all over again. I wondered if I was dying. The moment he got me inside, I started fading into unconsciousness.

"Roza… Roza, stay with me." He said, his voice barely registered with me. I'd barely understood what he'd said. Before I knew it, I was being laid down on something soft. It was then that the blackness swallowed me.

* * *

><p>When I woke up, I wasn't sure where I was. I was confused, and sat up far too quickly. The moment I did, I grabbed my head and screamed in pain as the horrid throbbing returned.<p>

"Rose." A Russian laced voice said, before I felt a hand pushing me back down onto the bed I was on.

"God, my head." I cried.

"Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay, damn it. My head is killing me. I think I might have an aneurism." I said, half jokingly. With the pain I was in, it wouldn't have surprised me though.

"I'm serious, Rose." He said, voice hard.

"So am I." I snapped, rubbing my head. He sighed, obvious realizing that with my smart mouth, I was alright for the most part.

"Here, take these." He said, handing me to red pills and a glass of water. I did as he asked. "Do you remember what happened?"

"I remember training, and feeling myself get tired, and-." I stopped realizing I didn't really remember.

"You stumbled back off the mat and when you fell, you fell on the concrete." He said.

"I told you practicing outside wasn't a good idea." I snapped, wincing at the pain that caused. He smirked.

"It would have hurt just as much if you would have been in the gym, on the hardwood floor." He informed me. I sighed. I guess he was right. "And we'll still be practicing outside… Maybe just using the bigger mat." He told me. I sighed, and slowly tried to sit up. He started to push me back down, but I slapped him away.

"I'm fine… stop." I said. I lolled over a little bit, but eventually got myself into a sitting position without screaming. He smirked.

"Maybe you weren't as ready for combat as you thought you were since you couldn't even make it through the first day." He teased.

"Shut up, it was an accident. I didn't mean to step off the mat, and I damn sure didn't mean to fall and bust my head on the concrete." I told him. He nodded, but his teasing banter faded.

"You had me worried. You hit your head really hard." He told me.

"I'm hard-headed."

"I know that… but I heard you head smack the ground, Roza. I didn't think you were going to make it out of that without a trip to St. Vladimirs to the medical unit." He told me. I sighed.

"If only I'd known I could use that as another trip to St. Vladimirs." I said, smirking. "You wouldn't get in trouble for that one."

"I guess not." He said, looking down. "I'm going to go. I've got to talk to Eddie. Is there anything I can get you before I leave?"

"Uhm... A bottle of water?" I asked. He nodded.

"I'll be right back." He said, standing and disappearing from the room. It was easy to see on his face that he was genuinely worried for me, although I probably would have been the same way if things were reversed. A few moments later, he returned with a bottle of water and an unidentified bag of chips. He smiled.

"Here, I figured you need to eat something too seeing as how you've been out for two hours."

"Where did these come from?" I asked, taking the bag from him. There was Doritos, and I'd looked everywhere in the kitchen to find these and there weren't any. He smirked.

"In my room." He said, chuckling. I laughed.

"You have your own little stash in there, don't you?"

"Maybe I do." He said, chuckling.

"Get some rest, Rose. We'll hold off on training tomorrow to make sure you're better."

"What? No." I said, all too quickly. He raised an eyebrow, causing me to narrow my eyes for a second.

"You need to get better. I can't have you falling out on me again." He said.

"I'll be fine. I can't afford to miss any more training time, Dimitri. I'll be out there tomorrow, whether you are or not." I said.

"You going to train by yourself?" He asked me, smirking.

"No, If you're not there, I'll run, I'll find something to do, but I'm not going to waste a day laying here in bed, when I could be doing something useful or productive." I told him. He sighed.

"Fine, we'll train tomorrow, but only light stuff. I can't have you broken down on the second week of being here." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm a Hathaway; we don't 'break down'." I told him. He smiled.

"Get some rest, Rose. I'll see you in the morning." He said, grazing a finger across my forehead. I just nodded as he turned and disappeared. I was sort of confused by the gesture, but I didn't say anything, none the less. I curled up in bed, hoping to fall asleep, but I couldn't. If I'd already been out for two hours, there was no way in hell I was going to be able to go back to sleep. I cracked open the bag of chips Dimitri had brought me, and ate a good portion of the bag. He'd probably be angry, but he'd get over it. I lounged around my room for the longest time before I got up and got a shower. After I got dressed, I went downstairs, looking for Dimitri, going to return his chips. I knocked on his bedroom door, but he didn't answer. I opened the door, and laid the chips on his bed, along with a note that said _thanks for dinner, comrade. _I smirked as I laid it beside them. It was then I noticed a book on his bed. It looked old, and crusty and it was bent to hell wouldn't have it. I picked it up to see it was a western novel. I giggled a little. I couldn't see Dimitri reading something like that… ever. I turned and walked out, shutting his door behind me. As I walked into the main room, Landon came down the stairs.

"Hey… I was looking for you. How are you feeling? I heard you hit your head pretty hard."

"Yeah, I have a little bit of a headache, but I'll live." I told him.

"What happened?"

"I was getting tired, and I stumbled back a little too far, and fell… smacked my head against the concrete. No big deal. I'm still kicking, that's all that matters." I said, smiling. He nodded.

"I'm glad you're alright."

"Thanks. I'm hard-headed. It'll take a little more than a bump on the head to take me out." I said. He laughed.

"Well, you got the hard-headed part right." He said. I growled, and pushed him playfully.

"Watch it, Landon." I said. "I might just be tempted to kick your ass again."

"There will be no ass kicking going on in this house unless it's training." A voice said, behind me. I turned to find Eddie. He nodded at me once. "How you feeling, Hathaway? Heard you took a bit of a spill earlier."

"I'm fine, Guardian Castille. Thanks for the concern." I said. I knew he secretly hated me, even when he tried to be nice. An awkward silence arose between the three of us, so I broke it.

"Yeah, so I'm going to bed. Goodnight guys." I said, smirking at Landon before starting for the stairs.

"Goodnight Hathaway." He called. I smiled as I reached my room. I went inside and cuddled up in my bed, falling into unconsciousness.


	10. Protective!

The next morning, I woke up a little late. My head still hurt a little bit, but I wasn't about to say anything to anyone in fear that Dimitri might not let me practice. I got ready and slowly made my way outside, trying to keep my head from hurting more than it already did. When I got outside, Dimitri was sitting on the sidewalk. When he heard the door close, he looked up.

"Sorry, I'm late. I didn't hear my alarm." I told him. He shrugged.

"It's fine. I figured you'd cancel anyway." He said. He stood up when I reached him. "How's your head?"

"It doesn't hurt anymore." I lied. He raised an eyebrow at me. "What?"

"I think you're lying." He said, simply.

"I'm not lying. It doesn't hurt anymore."

"Okay then. If you say so." He told me. How he knew I was lying, I'd never begin to understand. Maybe he really could read me like a book. I sighed.

"Alright, maybe it still hurts a little. I'll be fine though." I promised.

"Rose, if you start to feel weak or your head starts hurting more, you need to tell me and we'll stop. You need to get better. Having practice today wasn't a good idea, but of course… I let you talk me into it." He said, shaking his head.

"Maybe you're just a push over." I said. He rolled his eyes.

"Definitely not." He told me.

"So, what are we doing today?" I asked. He motioned to the boxes taped to the ground, and picked up a set of gloves off the sidewalk.

"We're sparing." He said, handing me a pair of gloves. I remembered doing this back at the academy. I always rocked at it. Although with a slight concussion, I doubted myself a little. I slid the gloves on and stepped into one of the four boxes taped onto the track. "You sure you want to do this, Rose?"

"I'm positive. Stop worrying about me; I swear you're worse than Lissa." I muttered. He smiled. He threw a punch, and I blocked.

"Speaking of Lissa, how are you doing?" He asked. I threw a punch, he blocked.

"We're good. I forgot I haven't told you. I think she heard me a few nights ago." He threw a punch and caught me in the chest. _Point. _

"Heard you?" He asked, confused.

"She was… well, she was making a not so smart decision, and I was yelling at her through the bond, and I think she heard me." I explained. He raised an eyebrow.

"How do you know?"

"Because she called my name, almost as if I was in the room with her, and it scared her cause she dropped…. Something." I said, realizing I couldn't tell him what was really going on. I threw a punch and caught him. _Point. _

"Why do I feel like I'm missing a major part of the story?" He asked, throwing a punch that I blocked. I shook my head.

"You're not." I said, simply. I jumped boxes, and landed a punch on him. _Point. _He stopped, leaving himself open. I debated on swinging again, but realized this wasn't the time.

"Rose…" He said.

"You're not missing any major part of the story." I said, my voice hard. I realized that I'd feel ten times better if I was able to tell someone, if I was able to help her, but I couldn't. She'd never forgive me, and I knew that.

"Is she okay?" He asked.

"She's fine." I promised. "Can we get back to practice, please?" He stood there for a second, narrowing his eyes at me.

"I thought we were past all this evasiveness now, Rose. I thought you've figured out that you can trust me."

"Not this time." I whispered.

"Rose… don't do this." He said. I sighed.

"I can trust you, Dimitri. I know that. I'm not questioning it. This isn't about trust between you and me anymore, its trust between me and her. I can't betray her trust in me like this. I won't do it." I told him. He stood there for a second.

"You're a good friend, Rose… but if she's doing something that's hazardous, I need to know. I can help her. We can help her." He promised me. I shook my head.

"It's under control, Dimitri. I promise, I won't let anything happen to her." I said. He nodded.

"I know you won't." He said. Our sparing then ensued. We went back and forth for atleast an hour, before he called it. He'd gotten sixteen hits on me, and I'd gotten fifteen. I'd lost by one, which frustrated me, but I took my loss with my head held high. I sat down on the sidewalk, as Dimitri pulled his gloves off and set them with mine.

"You going to be okay to go into full training tomorrow?" He asked me. I nodded.

"I'm sure I will be, yes." I said.

"Good, because I've got something different planned for tomorrow." He told me.

"Really?" He nodded.

"Okay."

"Do you miss the academy?" He asked.

"I miss Lissa. The rest of it, I could do without." I told him.

"The rest of it?" He asked.

"Classes, Kirova, Guardian Stan. Ugh. I don't miss any of that at all." I told him. He chuckled.

"You don't like Stan?" He asked.

"Hell no. That man hated my guts, and I hated him just as much." I said. He laughed.

"Stan can be a little difficult at times."

"A little?" I asked. He laughed.

"Alright, you're right, most of the time he's hard to get along with." I nodded.

"That's better." I said. He pulled the tap boxes off the track, and threw it into the trash.

"I guess we're done for today." He said. I nodded.

"I'm gonna go watch the other novices. That's okay, right?"

"Yeah, that's fine. Just don't distract any of them." He said.

"I know my beauty can distract some of the guys, but I'll try to stay out of view." I said, smirking as I stood up. He laughed, which was the reaction I was hoping for. His laugh was probably one of the rarest sounds. It was nice to hear him laugh. I walked inside and into the gym, sitting on the benches, watching the novices train. The girls were the most interesting to watch, because they looked so afraid of their mentor as they fought. Being a guardian, you can't fear anything. They wouldn't make it in this profession if they didn't break that. I watched for awhile, before Landon finished and walked over to me.

"Hey there, how you feeling?"

"I'm fine." I told him.

"Did you have training today?" He asked. I nodded.

"We sparred for about an hour before he let me go. He's babying me after I hit my head." I told him. He laughed.

"Maybe you need to be babied." He said. I tried to hit him, but he dodged, and laughed.

"Jerk." I snapped, smirking. He chuckled. I stood up and followed him out into the main room. He went and got a bottle of water, and sat down at the table.

"So, I think we should try to talk the guardians into letting us all go out this weekend." He said.

"Yeah, because that's going to work." I told him.

"I'm serious. The students at the academies get to leave with the permission of their guardians. We should see if they'll take us to Missoula to go shopping. Something, anything to get us out of this place for awhile." I laughed.

"You honestly think they'd agree to that."

"Guardian Belikov took you somewhere, didn't he?" He asked.

"That was different, that was business." I told him. He shrugged.

"You should talk to him about it, since he's your mentor and all." I rolled my eyes.

"Why don't you do it?" I asked.

"Because he scares me." Landon said. I laughed.

"He's not as big and bad as he looks. Just don't tell him I said that." I said, remembering to yesterday when he took me down because I'd said that. He laughed.

"I won't." I shrugged.

"I guess I'll talk to him tomorrow about it. See what I can do." I told him. I wouldn't mind a trip to the mall. Hell I wouldn't mind a trip to the grocery store if it got me out of here. He nodded. We sat at the table and talked for while, before all the others exited the gym. Glenn and his posse came into the kitchen to get water bottles.

"Hey there, Hathaway." He said. I looked up at him and wrinkled my nose.

"Can I help you with something?"

"So, I heard that Guardian Belikov took you to see your moroi." He muttered. My heart stopped.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked.

"I heard Guardian Belikov too you to see the princess. I don't really think that's fair, seeing as how you were taken away from her for a reason." He said.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I told him, shaking my head.

"Don't play dumb, Hathaway. I heard Castille grilling Belikov the other night for it." He said. I stood up.

"Glenn… walk away." I told him.

"Getting defensive are we? So it's true. That's a crock of shit. They kicked you out, you shouldn't be able to go back and visit when you please. We're all separated from our friends, but we don't whine and cry until someone takes us home to see them." He snapped at me. I felt darkness bubbling within me. I was on a slippery slope.

"Glenn, knock it off." Landon said, standing beside me. Glenn smirked.

"Awe, Lookie there. Did the bloodwhore make a friend?" He asked.

"Glenn, you're best bet is to walk away… unless you want another broken nose."

"Seems like the only people who can stand to be around you, is this loser and your bitch of a mentor." I wasn't sure why, but the moment he said something about Dimitri, I lost it. He could call me a blood whore, like I hadn't heard it before, he could make fun of me for not having friends except Landon, but for some reason, him talking about Dimitri set me off. I shoved him back as hard as I could, causing him to stumble into everyone. He caught himself, and started back towards me.

"Does that bother you? Me talking about Guardian Belikov? He's a no good guardian." He told me. I lost it. I started forward, punching him dead in the face. He swung back on me, but I blocked it and hit him again. I started in on him, letting him have it. When his friends realized that he was losing, they all jumped in, going to help him out. One of the girls grabbed my hair, trying to pull me away. I turned and swung, catching her in the face. A bunch of them tried to grab me, but none of them were able to do it. Landon was trying to pull them off of me. I grabbed a hold of Glenn and just pounded on his face, as a string of obscenities left my mouth. It was then that all of the guardians busted in, hearing the disruption. Before I knew it, a strong set of arms pulled me off of Glenn, pulling me away. I'd only taken two or three hits, but he'd taken a beating. His face was completely red, covered in blood.

"No, let me go." I cried, trying to get back to him. I wasn't sure why I was so angry. It couldn't have just been because of him talking about Dimitri. I wasn't sure what he'd let lose inside of me, but I'd lost all sense of composure in that moment.

"Rose, stop it. Calm down." Dimitri begged. I shook my head, trying to break out of his hold. I knew better, but it didn't stop me from trying.

"No, let me go. I'll kill that ass hole." I cried. He pushed me out the back door, slamming it with his foot. I continued to fight against him, but I finally gave up. Angry tears were streaming down my cheeks.

"Roza?" He asked. He took my face in his hands and wiped the tears. "Calm down. It's okay." He told me.

"It's not. It's not okay. I hate him. I hate him so much, Dimitri. He's done nothing but give me shit since I got here. Then he started talking about you, and I just-."

"He was talking about me?" He asked.

"He knows you took me to see Lissa. He heard you and Eddie arguing about it. He said you were a shitty guardian and mentor, and you didn't know how to put your foot down. He called me a blood whore, and Landon a loser, and I just lost it. Then they all tried to help him when I kicked his ass. I ended up punching almost every one of them in the mouth." I told him, showing him my hands which were covered in probably about five people's blood plus my own.

"He's a douche bag, Rose. Don't let him phase you." He told me. I never thought I'd hear Dimitri used a word like 'douche' and I never thought I'd hear him call someone that.

"I don't know why I lost it when he started talking about you, but I did." I said. He smirked.

"Protective?" He asked.

"I don't know… I guess it just bothered me. You've done a lot for me since I've been here, so it was just kind of… instinct. Plus, Landon… Landon is one of the only friends I have here, and he called him a loser. I've been called a blood whore before. That wasn't anything new, but when he said something about the two of you… I cracked."

"You're not a blood whore, Rose." He said. I sighed.

"I know, but somehow or another he found out about-." I stopped, realizing I'd never told Dimitri about that.

"Found out about what?" He asked. I moved my hair to reveal the two light marks left on my neck from when I'd let Lissa feed on me in Portland.

"When Lissa and I were away, we didn't have a feeder. I was her feeder." I said. "They all took that and ran with it, saying I was a blood whore in the making. I won't ever be a blood whore. I did what had to be done to keep Lissa safe and alive." I told him. He shook his head.

"They're stupid to call you that. You did what was necessary to keep her alive. Rose, don't you ever let them make you feel like what you did was bad. It wasn't." He told me.

"I know." I murmured. He took my hands, examining them. They were pretty bad off. I'd beat the hell out of them. They weren't exactly well manicured like the other two girls here.

"Come on." He said, leading me inside. The rest of the guardians had cleaned up the mess that was the rest of the novices. He took me into his room, and sat me down in his computer chair. He walked into the bathroom, and grabbed what looked like a first-aid kit and brought it into the room, along with a wash cloth. He knelt down in front of me, and took my hands in his, cleaning them off.

"You pack a hard punch, but jeez, Rose." He said. I was biting my tongue as he ran the rag over the raw flesh. He then poured alcohol on it and placed it over my hands. A slight whimper left my lips. He smiled up at me. "Sorry, I know it hurts." I shrugged.

"I'm fine. I've endured worse." He then grabbed a gauze pad and some cloth and wrapped my hands up nice and tight. When he was done, he met my gaze. I smiled.

"Thanks, Dimitri." He nodded.

"Try to stay out of trouble, Rose. I don't want to have to kick you out of here too." He teased. I shrugged.

"I'd make it on my own. I've done it before." He smiled.

"I don't doubt that." He said. I stood up, and so did he. "How's your head?"

"It's fine. I think I was so pissed, it overruled the pain." I told him. He chuckled.

"Atleast that's better." He said. I nodded.

"I need to go check on Landon. He took a few hard hits for me." I said.

"Okay. Try to stay out of trouble, please." He said.

"I will." I promised him, before starting for the door. When I reached for the doorknob, he called after me.

"Rose?"

"Yes?" I asked.

"I know it wasn't exactly smart of you to fight him, but thanks for sticking up for me." He said. I smiled.

"Not a problem." I told him, before walking out. I spared a final glance at him before starting out and down the hall to find Landon.


	11. Honesty!

I knocked on Landon's door, and waited. I heard him moving around a lot, before he came to the door. When he opened it, he had no shirt on, so I had to try extremely hard to focus on his face. He was holding a bag of ice on his eye.

"Awe, Landon." I said, touching his face. He opened his door wider, so I could come in. He shut the door, and smiled. I touched his face. "I'm so sorry you got involved in that."

"No, I wasn't going to let them jump you like that." He said. He looked at my hands.

"Dimitri bandaged them for me." I told him.

"Was he mad at you for fighting again?" He asked. I shook my head.

"What did the rest of the guardians say?"

"They yelled at us for fighting and sent us all to our rooms." He told me. I rolled my eyes.

"They make it seem like we're children." I said, shaking my head. He smiled.

"Your face is bruising a little too."

"Yeah, I took a few hits. My heads hurting a little cause one of those bitches pulled my hair. I don't know which one, but I know I knocked the shit out of her when she did." I told him. He laughed.

"I saw you hit her. I think it was Diana." He said. I shrugged.

"I don't give a crap who it was, them pulling my hair didn't help my headache I've had since yesterday." I said. He smiled.

"I have some aspirin if you want them." He said.

"Please." He nodded and pulled a bottle out of his nightstand and poured a few into his hand and handed them to me. He got me a glass out water from his bathroom. "Thanks."

"Not a problem." He said. "You know, they sent out for a nurse to come check on Glenn, because you messed him up that bad."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah, his jaw and nose were messed up pretty bad. They needed someone to come pop them back into place." He told me. I smiled.

"Good, the little bastard deserves it." I said. He nodded.

"I didn't like him hitting you. It kind of pissed me off."

"I hit him, so he had a right to hit me back." I said. He shook his head.

"Guys shouldn't hit woman."

"Dimitri hits me when we train." I told him.

"That's different." He said. I smiled.

"Thank you, for helping me out when they all ganged up on me. Talk about the house divided." I said. He chuckled.

"It wasn't a problem. Like I said, that wasn't a fair fight, although you caught almost all of them in the face atleast once." He said, laughing. I shrugged.

"Shouldn't have been in my way." I said. He smiled. He reached forward and touched my face where it must have been bruised. "Is it that bad? I haven't got to look."

"It's kind of dark." He said. He took my hand and led me into the bathroom in the mirror. I grimaced. The bruise was pretty dark. It was half around my eye, and half on my cheek. It was turning a dark purple. I sighed.

"It looks gross." I said. He smiled from behind me. He removed the ice pack from his face and laughed.

"We match." I laughed.

"We kind of do, huh?" I asked. He nodded.

"Did Dimitri really take you to see Lissa?" He finally asked. I knew it was coming. I looked down.

"Yeah, he did."

"Why'd you lie to me then? I don't understand." He asked.

"Dimitri thought it was better that nobody knew, so they wouldn't react the way dick head did. It wasn't that I didn't trust you. He asked me not to, and I didn't want to say anything and the others find out." I told him. He nodded.

"I wouldn't have said anything." He said.

"I know you wouldn't have. I trust you, Landon. I just didn't need them all freaking out about how it wasn't fair that I got to see Lissa and they didn't get to see their friends and all that. It's more than that, but regardless… we didn't need them grilling us about how unfair it was." I told him. He nodded and I yawned.

"Sleepy?"

"A little. I probably need to go get some sleep. Dimitri says I'm doing something special for training tomorrow. After all of this, I don't know if that's true after everything today, but we'll see." He chuckled.

"Good luck with that." He said. I smiled.

"It'll be interesting." I said. I pulled him into a hug. "Thank you again, Landon." I said. When he released me, he smiled.

"Not a problem, Hathaway." He said. He kissed my forehead, before opening the door for me.

"Goodnight." He said.

"Night." I said. Before walking out. I went to my room, and closed the door. I went into the bathroom and frowned at the nasty bruise on my face. I got a shower, and laid down in my bed. My headache was easing now that Landon had given me that aspirin. I finally closed my eyes, and eventually unconsciousness found me.

* * *

><p>I woke the next morning to my alarm clock going off. I smacked it and got up. When I got to the bathroom mirror, my face looked horrible. The bruise had gotten even darker than last night. I sighed, and caked the make-up on my face, hoping to cover it up. You could still see the hint of blue and purple underneath it, but it wasn't as bad. I got dressed and did my hair, before heading downstairs. I was hoping to see Glenn, hoping I could see the aftermath of the ass kicking he'd received, but I didn't see him. When I walked out the back door, I saw someone else standing with Dimitri. He was pale, obviously meaning he was a moroi. As I approached, Dimitri turned and smiled.<p>

"Goodmorning Rose." He said.

"Morning. Who's this?" I asked. Dimitri started to speak, when the boy cut him off.

"Adrian Ivashkov, it's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Hathaway." He said, taking my hand and kissing it. Dimitri rolled his eyes.

"It's nice to meet you too." I looked to Dimitri. "I'm confused." I said.

"Your eye looks bad." He told me. I rolled my eyes then.

"I'm very aware. It only took me ten minutes to try and cover it up with make-up." I said.

"What happened?" Adrian asked.

"Got in a fight with a good portion of the novices in the house. I took a few hard hits." I told him.

"You've got yourself a little badass there, don't you Belikov?" Adrian said. Dimitri shook his head.

"I wouldn't exactly say it's a good thing." He said. I sighed.

"How's Glenn's face?" I asked, giving him my best Hathaway smirk. He sighed.

"We have a nurse coming in today to pop his nose back in place." I smiled. Adrian coughed a laugh.

"How was Landon?" He asked.

"He's got a bruise about like me. He caught of few hits to the eye. Other than that, he was fine." I told him. He nodded. "So, what exactly are we doing today?" I asked.

"I figured I'd give you some firsthand experience of protecting a moroi in a strigoi situation, so I invited Adrian to help out since-." Adrian cut him off.

"Since I have nothing better to do with my time." He said. Dimitri shrugged.

"Well, since he wants to put it like that, yeah. I figured it'd be good for you." He told me. I nodded.

"Alright then. I can't promise that you won't die. I'm not the best fighter yet." I said, turning to Adrian. He laughed.

"It's alright. It's a learn as you go thing. Plus, fighting Dimitri is probably like fighting a train." He said, shrugging. I nodded. It was then I realize there were three mats laid out on the track.

"Afraid I'm gonna fall off again?" I asked. Dimitri smirked.

"I can't be too careful with you." He told me. He pulled my hands up to examine them. My knuckles were still a little red.

"You gonna be okay to fight with your knuckles."

"I'll live, I'm sure." I told him. He nodded.

"Alright. Adrian, you can stand where ever." He told him. Adrian nodded and walked a few feet away from us. He stopped and turned back to me.

"There's a strigoi, oh no… save me, Rose." He said, feigning fear horribly. I giggled.

"Alright, if you expect me to try and protect you… don't do that again… ever." I said. He chuckled. Dimitri was a few feet away, and I stepped in front of him, taking my stance.

"I like the view from back here." Adrian said. I stood up, and turned to him.

"Adrian, knock it off. I asked you here to help her, not hit on her." Dimitri snapped.

"I can't do both?" He asked.

"Knock it off for now, would ya? There's plenty of time to hit on me later." I said, winking at him before turning back around to face Dimitri. I took my stance once again and readied myself. Dimitri started slowly stalking forward, and I realized I needed to get to him before he could get closer to Adrian, so I launched forward, going after his legs. He was quick, but I handed a few hits on him, while still blocking Adrian from him. We went back and forth, exchanging blows, him trying to sneak his way around me, but I wasn't letting it happen. When he finally did get around me, I lunged for his back, throwing my weight down hard. This caused him to fall to his knees, allowing me to take him to the ground. The moment I did, I fought against his hands, going for his heart, but I wasn't able to do it. He put up a good fight. He tried to roll his weight, but I wouldn't let him. Not this time. He finally landed a hard blow to my chest, knocking the wind out of me. I lost it for a second, allowing him to try and roll us, but before he could roll, I weaseled out from under him and stood up, taking my stance back in front of Adrian. When he stood up, he smiled.

"Rose, you're doing amazing. I've never seen you so well on the defense before." He told me. I shrugged.

"You don't know how hard it is to keep you at bay… Jesus." I said. He laughed.

"You need a break?" He asked.

"No, come on… let's keep going." I said.

"Rose, if you need a break that's fine. I don't need you falling out on me again." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"That was one time… let it go." I said. He gave me one of those looks, like he wanted me to admit I was weaker than I thought. I knew what'd get him going. "I think you're the one that needs a break. I told you that you're not as big and bad as you look." He narrowed his eyes and crouched down.

"You're asking for it." He said.

"Let's go, Belikov." I said. He lunged for me, trying to take me down, but I faked him out, knocking his feet out from under him. I tried to manage my hands over his heart, but he was quick. He was already half way on his feet by the time I managed to recover from taking him down. He was on his feet and starting towards Adrian again, when I threw a punch, catching him in the chest. I then threw a kick, catching him in the stomach. He faltered for a second, and when I went to take him down, he caught me off guard, taking me to the mat. I fought against him, but it was too late. He had his hands over my chest. I was dead. Adrian –if he was my real moroi- would be dead now if the scenario were real.

"Shit." I muttered. He laughed and stared down into my eyes. I got lost in the pools of chocolate that were his own, before he pulled himself out of our locked gaze and stood up, offering me a hand. When I took his hand, I threw all of my weight downward, pulling him to the ground, and putting myself on top of him, my hands already over his heart. "It wasn't over yet." I said, simply before standing. He sat up, watching me as I walked over to Adrian. Adrian was laughing, looking at Dimitri on the ground. Dimitri muttered something in Russian, before standing up. I smirked at him.

"I'm sorry comrade. You're a guardian. You should be ready for anything." I told him. Adrian was still chuckling, covering his mouth with his hands. Dimitri pushed him slightly, kidding around. I stepped in front of Adrian, and narrowed my eyes. "Don't bully my fictional moroi." I snapped. He rolled his eyes. Dimitri went inside to get some bottles of water for us, so I sat down on the sidewalk.

"So, how long have you and Dimitri known each other?" I asked.

"A year or so. He saved my ass a few times at court."

"He used to work at court?" I asked. He shook his head.

"No, he was visiting with his charge, and some stuff went down when he was around. He saved my ass. We've been friends ever since." He told me.

"What happened to his moroi?" I asked. The moment I asked, Dimitri walked out, so Adrian just shook his head, and gave me an 'I'll tell you later' look. Dimitri handed me and Adrian a bottle of water, and we mumbled our thank yous.

"Did the nurse show up to pop Glenn's nose back in place yet? I'd really like to watch, or maybe she'll let me do it." I asked Dimitri. He shook his head.

"Rose…" He warned.

"What? I'm just teasing. Jeez, lighten up, Belikov." I said, smirking. He rolled his eyes.

"You need to stay away from him… from all of them."

"That's pretty hard considering we all live in the same house." I told him.

"Don't associate with him." He said.

"Or kick him out. He's the douche bag that starts it. He should be kicked out, not me." I told him. He sighed.

"I'm not kicking anybody out… yet."

"And if you do kick someone out, it'll end up being me." I muttered.

"What?" He asked.

"Eddie hates me; I can tell the other guardians think I cause trouble. Every novice except one here hates me. If anyone's going to be nominated to be kicked out of this place, it'll be me. I can tell you what will happen if I do get kicked out. I'll end up going back to the academy, breaking Lissa out of there, and we'll be on the run again, and I can guarantee you they won't catch us this time." I told him. He sighed.

"No one's getting kicked out, Rose."

"Boy, you've got it all planned out, don't you?" Adrian asked.

"Gotta be ready for anything when you're a guardian." I said, smirking at Dimitri. He shook his head at me. I finished my bottle of water, and threw the bottle at him. He narrowed his eyes.

"One more go round before we call it a day, or are we through?" I asked. He looked at Adrian.

"Do you have anywhere to be?" He asked.

"Actually, I was thinking about staying here a little while. I think it'll be interesting to watch what you do here. If you don't mind of course." He said.

"I don't. You can stay as long as you like, as long as you don't undermine and influence any of my novices to make bad decisions." He said.

"I would never." He said, feigning shock. I'd heard of the Ivashkov rep, especially Adrian's. He was an alcoholic, and a player, and from what I'd heard, he went to college but dropped out because he couldn't focus. I could see why Dimitri would be worried though. There were three females in the house, two of which I'm sure would love to sink their claws into him for some undivided attention. Adrian was dead sexy, there was no denying, but I didn't play the game… I was the coach. I smirked.

"Alright Rose, come on." He said. The moment I was standing, he was going after Adrian. I stepped into his way, shoving him back. We then began to exchange blows back and forth. He tried to fake me out a few times, but I guessed his next move and cut him off. It wasn't long before my body began to ache from the aftermath of me hitting my head, and the gang fight yesterday. I felt it start to weight on me. I kept fighting though, hoping to take him down. I lunged at him, trying to take him to the ground, when he faked me out, and I fell to the mat. Before I knew it, he was behind Adrian, arms around his neck.

"God damn it." I muttered, punching the mat.

"You've got to work on not swearing as much. It's not lady like." Dimitri said. I rolled my eyes.

"How many guardians do you know that are 'lady-like'?" I asked. He sighed, and shook his head. I helped him roll the mats up and carried them inside. He showed Adrian to a room, as I sat down at the kitchen table. Glenn walked out of the gym, his nose and face all taped up. I hid my face as he walked by, glaring at me as he passed. The moment I knew he was out of hearing range, I busted out laughing, almost falling out of my seat. Dimitri walked in, and raised an eyebrow.

"What's so funny?"

"I just saw Glenn." I said, trying to breathe. He shook his head at me.

"Rose, you shouldn't laugh." He said.

"But did you see his face all taped up?" I asked, starting into another uncontrollable laughing fit. He sighed, and a quiet chuckle left his lips as he watched me clearly enjoying myself.

"Rose, you need some serious help, you know?" I rolled my eyes.

"I've never been fully sane. We've all known that." I told him. He nodded. I sighed and was finally able to breathe normally.

"Wow, that was the most entertaining thing I've witnessed in a long time. I love to see my handy work." I said, wiping the tears. He shook his head.

"I've got some things to take care of, so I'm going to go now." He told me, walking into his bedroom. I giggled as the door closed behind him. I downed my bottle of water, and decided to go for a run. I went out to the track, and ran a couple laps, before I heard the door open. When I looked up, Adrian was walking towards the gate. When I reached the gate, he smiled.

"Look at you, miss over-achiever." He said. I smiled.

"I'm not an over-achiever. I just don't like sitting around." I said, simply. He laughed.

"So, you're the one who ran away with Lissa? Can I ask why that was?" He asked.

"You can, but I'm not going to tell you. It's personal stuff." I said.

"Ahh. Okay, I understand." He said. He had no choice.

"They sent me here because of what I did."

"I figured as much. I know Kirova hates dealing with 'problem' children." He said. I laughed.

"She hates everyone." I muttered. "Me especially."

"Oh well, better to be hated for who you are-." I cut him off.

"Than loved for who I'm not, I know. Listen to you with you Zen life lessons. I thought that was Dimitri." I said. He laughed.

"Dimitri rubbed off on me a little bit." He said. I smirked. I met his gaze and smiled slightly.

"You have really pretty eyes." I told him. He shrugged.

"It's an Ivashkov thing. .We all have green eyes."

"I know. I think I've met your mother before a long time ago. I was young then, maybe ten or eleven. I was visiting court and Lissa's parents with her." I said. He nodded.

"Ashamed I didn't meet you then." he said, smirking.

"You would have been what… six years older than me?" I asked. He growled.

"No… If you're seventeen I'm only four years older than you. Do I really look Dimitri's age?" He asked.

"No… I was just guessing. I didn't know for sure." I told him, laughing at his face. He rolled his eyes at me.

"I'm glad you find it funny." He said. I nodded.

"I do." I said.

"So, I saw the boy you obviously beat the hell out of earlier." He said.

"Did you laugh as hard as I did?" I asked. He chuckled.

"I had a hard time keeping a straight face." He admitted. I smiled.

"And Dimitri thought I was the only one." I said. Adrian shook his head.

"Dimitri's a little uptight, but he takes what he does seriously. He really means well." He said.

"I know he does. He's done a lot for me since I've been here." I said. He nodded.

"You're beautiful, you know." Adrian said. I attempted to raise an eyebrow.

"I'm aware." I said. He chuckled.

"I just thought I'd inform you, just in case you didn't know." He pulled out a package of cigarettes and lit one.

"That's a bad habit, you know."

"I'm a bad habit, but it hasn't stopped people from hanging around me yet." He said. I laughed. "I'm like an addiction; once you start… you can't stop." I snorted, and shook my head.

"You're something else, Ivashkov." I told him. He smiled.

"I'm well aware." He said, nodding. He jumped and pulled his phone out of his pocket. "If you'll excuse me madam." He walked back inside. I stayed sitting on the sidewalk, not really wanting to go inside and sit. I wasn't sure how long I was there before Dimitri walked out.

"What are you doing out here all alone?" He said, as he approached. "You're not crying again, are you?" I rolled my eyes.

"No, I'm not crying. Shut up." I muttered.

"Why are you out here?"

"You told me to stay away from everyone inside, so the only place I can really do that is out here." I told him. "Adrian was out here with me, but he got a phone call." I shrugged.

"So, you just sit out here alone?"

"It's peaceful out here." I said, simply. He sat down beside me on the sidewalk. "Can I ask you something?" Every since Adrian had brought it up, I'd been extremely curious, and it had bothered me. I was hoping he'd actually tell me, but the way Adrian had avoided it when he was near, I doubted it.

"Sure." He said, turning to me.

"Adrian said something about your moroi earlier. You used to be an assigned guardian?" I asked.

"I was." He said, looking down at the pavement. I took his reaction as it hadn't ended well.

"What happened?" I asked.

"He was killed. It wasn't my fault… but he's been dead for about three years now." He said. "You probably heard about it… Ivan Zeklos?"

"I do remember hearing about it. Jesse left school for a week to go to his funeral." I said. He nodded.

"It was my off week. I left to go take care of some stuff for him, and there was an attack. He killed his other guardian, and Ivan." He told me. I frowned, feeling bad for bringing it up.

"I'm sorry." I murmured, not really knowing what else to say.

"I couldn't help but blame myself." He said.

"No… it wasn't your fault. It was the other guardian's responsibility to keep him safe and he failed him." I told him.

"I knew he wasn't as good at protecting him as I was. I should have known better than to leave him with him. I had a bad feeling about it, but I left anyway." He said.

"It isn't your fault, though. You can't blame yourself." I said. He shrugged and stood up.

"It's probably time for us to head in. You should get some sleep. Practice is going to come early in the morning." He said, guardian mask slipping over his face. I stood.

"Dimitri, I didn't mean to bring up something-." He cut me off with a shake of his head.

"It's fine." He said, before starting towards the house. When we reached the door, I stopped him.

"Dimitri?"

"Yeah?" He asked, turning back to me.

"Thank you for being honest with me." I said. He met my gaze for a second, and nodded.

"Yeah." He said, before walking in and into his bedroom. Hearing what happened to his charge, made me really want to be with Lissa. Taking the chance of being away from her and something happening to her bothered me. I went upstairs and sat down on my bed, allowing me to slip into her head. The moment I did, this overwhelming depression and sadness hit me like a battering ram. I found her in the bathroom, razor blade in hand, on the floor. There was already a lot of blood. _NO! No, Lissa STOP! _I screamed at her through the bond. She couldn't hear me… not this time. When she looked down at her wrist I finally saw the extent of her injuries this time. The gashes were deep this time, deeper than they'd ever been, and it was obvious that she wasn't done yet. She brought the razor back to her wrist again. _NO! NO, Lissa, stop it. You're gonna-. _I gave up when she dug the razor into her skin again. I jumped up, pulling myself out of her head. She was going to kill herself at this rate, and I couldn't let that happen. I ran for Dimitri's room.


	12. Razor!

When I reached his door, I was beating it down. I debated on busting in, but thought better of it in case he wasn't dressed. When he opened the door, he was in guardian mode.

"Rose, it's late-."

"Dimitri, it's Lissa… She's dying. Take me to the academy, please."

"What? Rose, are you sure?" He asked. I was hysterical. He knew I was serious.

"I don't have time to explain now, I'll explain to you in the car. Please, Dimitri. Take me to her… I can't lose her." I begged him. He nodded. He put on his boots as I ran upstairs to grab my shoes. We met back at the front door. Eddie and Guardian Liam must have heard the commotion because they rounded the corner as we exited.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't have time to explain, Eddie." Dimitri said.

"Belikov, think about what you're doing." He said. Dimitri shook his head.

"I know what I'm doing." He snapped at him before we ran to the van. Tears were streaming down my cheeks as we both jumped in. He threw the van into reverse and hauled ass out of there. "Now, what's going on? Are there strigoi, do I need to alert the others?" He asked.

"No… She… She-." I stopped, realizing what I would be doing if I told.

"Rose, I don't have time for this. I need to know what's going on." He demanded.

"She cuts herself. She cuts herself a lot, and this time… it's bad, and she keeps doing it. It's like she can't stop. There's something dark inside of her, and when she needs release that's what she does, but this time she keeps doing it. She's covered in blood, she's lost so much, I don't know how she was conscious." I told him, tears streaming down my face.

"Rose, she's gonna be okay."

"She's not… Dimitri, they're going to put her on all kind of medicine, and people are gonna make a big deal about it, and she's never going to forgive me." I told him. He reached over and took my hand in his.

"Look at me, Rose." I turned to him. "She's going to be okay, and she'll forgive you. You're a good friend for this. You could be saving her life." He said. I nodded once. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to slip back into her head. She was barely conscious now. She couldn't stand, even though she kept trying. Her bathroom was covered in blood. A slight sob rocked through my body. I felt Dimitri squeeze my hand. In this moment, I needed that, just that slight pressure to let me know that he was here for me.

"Is she okay?"

"She's barely conscious now." I whispered. When he pulled into the gates and the guardians let us in, I didn't even let him get the van parked. I jumped out, and started running. He shut the van off, and followed after me. I ran upstairs in the moroi dorms and tried to open Lissa's door. _Locked. _By the time Dimitri and the dorm matron had reached me, I stepped back and kicked her door in.

"Lissa?" I called, running to her bathroom. There she laid, half unconscious, covered in blood. It was worse seeing it through my own eyes then seeing and feeling it through hers. I hit my knees beside her in the pool of blood surrounding her.

"Rose, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I couldn't stop. I don't know what happened." She cried. I pulled her bloodied body into my arms and just held her while she sobbed. Her arms were bad. They'd take months to heal from the looks of the gashes. "I'm sorry."

"Shhh… It's gonna be okay." I promised her. Dimitri stood at the door, staring down at the two of us. I looked up at him, looking for some kind of moral support, which his eyes gave me. He nodded at me once and gave me a small smile. The dorm matron had already run off to get help.

"We're going to get you some help, Lissa." He promised her. She looked up at me.

"They're going to think I'm crazy. They're going to put me in an asylum." She whispered.

"No, they're not. You really think I'd let them do that to you? Not a chance." I promised her.

"We're going to have to tell them about you two though." Dimitri told us. I just nodded.

"I know." I whispered. I hadn't ever wanted Lissa and I's bond to be public knowledge, and I sure as hell didn't want it to become public knowledge like this. A few minutes later, Kirova, Alberta, and the short redheaded lady from the clinic were in the room. Kirova and Alberta frowned down at me.

"What's going on? It's very obvious we've been left out of some serious loop." Kirova said. _Bitch._ The nurse frowned at them for being so inconsiderate.

"Those are going to need stitches sweetheart." She told her. I knew they would. "We need to get you down to the clinic."

"I'll carry her." Dimitri said. I shook my head at him.

"I've got her." I said, simply. He nodded once, not going to argue. I was covered in her blood already anyways. I helped her to stand, and then scooped her up into my arms. Lissa was little, and wasn't heavy. I noticed that she still had the razor blade held tightly in her palm. "Lissa put it down." I whispered.

"Rose… I-." I gave her a look.

"I know. It's over now. Put it down." I said. She nodded and threw the razor blade onto the floor. I nodded and carried her out of the bathroom and down the stairs. As we walked, Dimitri looked at me.

"You okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine." I told him, my voice hard. I was trying to conceal all of the emotion I was feeling to be strong for her. It was then I saw someone running towards us. As he got closer, it recognized it to be Christian Ozera.

"Oh my god, what happened? Lissa, what did you do?" He asked her. She didn't answer him. She just buried her head into my shoulder. A lot of the students were standing outside now. New traveled fast here and I'd known that. This had spread like wildfire. I kept my head up high as we walked past each and every one of them. I took her into the office and laid her down on the cot. Kirova and Alberta pulled Dimitri aside while I stayed with Lissa. I knew he would have been a lot more calm and collected to explain it to them than I would have been.

"Rose, don't leave me… please." She begged.

"Lissa, I'm not going anywhere… I'm right here." I promised her. She nodded. The nurse went to cleaning her up, revealing how deep the gashes actually were. They were horrible. Lissa cried and winced every time she touched her. I held her hand as she cried from the pain. "It's okay… It's okay Lissa." She finally numbed her arms so she could stitch her up. I winced for her then, as she drove the needle through her skin, sewing her back up like she was a rag doll. The image made me angry, so I took a few steps away, calming myself.

"Rose?" Lissa called.

"I'm right here." I said, still not walking back over to her.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"I'm fine." I promised her. The nurse wrapped her arms up, and told her she was through. I helped Lissa sit up, and met her gaze. "Look what you've gotten us into kid." I teased.

"I'm so sorry, Rose." She said, a tear leaking down her face. I shook my head.

"Don't apologize. We're going to get through this, like we've gotten through everything else. If I doubted it, I'd have snatched you up and ran with you, but I haven't. As much as I want to do that for you, I can't. We're going to survive, like we always do." I told her, taking her face in my hands.

"I can't survive here without you, Rose."

"You're going to be fine. Lissa, I know it's hard, but we're gonna make it." I promised. She shook her head. Kirova and Alberta walked in then, followed by Dimitri.

"We'd like to talk to Lissa alone, please Miss Hathaway." Kirova said.

"No… don't leave, Rose… please." Lissa begged. I turned to Dimitri.

"Come on, Rose. They just wanna talk to her for a minute." He promised me.

"We don't have to leave right now, do we?" I asked him, my eyes falling back on her.

"No… Not right yet. We've got things to deal with." He told me. I nodded. I turned back to Lissa.

"I'll be right back, okay." I promised her.

"Rose, don't leave… please." I took her face in my hands.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right outside. I'll be back, I promise." I told her. She just nodded and watched as I walked away. I didn't want to leave her, but I knew they wouldn't let me stay. Dimitri shut the door behind us as we exited. I didn't stop in the office. I walked straight outside into the morning air, letting it wash over my face. I stared off into the horizon, taking deep; deliberate breathes hoping to keep myself in check. I felt the tears forming, but I did my damndest to blink them back.

"Rose?"

"What are they talking to her about?" I whispered.

"They're asking her about the bond. I explained everything the best I could from your point of view, but they wanted it from hers." He told me. I just nodded, still not looking at him.

"What are they going to do to her?" I finally asked.

"They said there were some drugs they could try, that should help her. They're going to talk to her and see how she feels about it." He said.

"She'll turn them down."

"She really has no other options here. If she does turn it down, we're gonna need you to talk her into it. Unless you really want her sent to an asylum, where she can't hurt herself anymore." I turned and swung, punching the brick wall next to me hard. It was in that moment, everything I was feeling came flooding out of me. The moment the words left his lips, it was like he opened a flood gate. The tears began streaming down my face, as I swung again, my fist connecting with the wall again. The pain felt good only because for a split second, it took my mind off all of the shit going on around me.

"Rose… Rose, stop." Dimitri said, trying to grab me. I shook my head, trying to break out of his hold. He finally was able to grab me, and stop me from moving around. "Hey… you're going to get through this." He assured me. I shook my head. "Yes, you are. I'm going to help you through this. Lissa is going to be fine. They're going to take care of her here."

"But not like I can." I growled.

"I'm sorry, Rose. I'm sorry that you can't be here to take care of her. You've got to let them do it. By being away, by being with us, training… You'll be able to take care of her better. Remember, one day you might be out in the world, where the wards won't protect you. She'll need you then, more than ever." He told me.  
>"It's not the strigoi she needs protecting from. It's herself. I can do that. I can protect her better than these people can. They won't know when she's lying, when she's screaming out for help but no one can give it to her because they don't know. You don't understand, and you won't ever, Dimitri. Stop pretending like you know where I'm coming from because you don't." I cried. He shook his head, and took my face in his hands.<p>

"I'm not pretending to understand, Rose. I know that I couldn't understand if I tried. I'm trying to help you. I know by helping you, I can help her. You have to be strong for her. It's obvious that she needs you. Roza, you have to get her through this, and to do that… You have to be sane, and right now… You're not." He told me. It was in that moment, all the fight and anger flooded from my body, because I found myself lost in his eyes. I think he noticed, but he never looked away. It was then that I broke out of the trance when someone approached.

"How is she? Is she okay?" He asked. _Ozera. _

"She's fine." I growled.

"I knew she was cutting, but I didn't think it was that bad. I don't understand, what happened? Why did she do that?" He asked.

"Look, I'm sorry to sound like a bitch, because it's quite obvious that you care for her, but I'm really not in the mood to discuss this with you. You can talk to her later, and I'm sure she'll explain it all, but right now, I just want you out of my damn face." I said. He stepped back, and nodded. He finally turned and walked out, obviously caught off guard by me basically jumping him. "Damn it… I didn't mean too-." I cut myself off.

"It's okay. I think he understood that now wasn't a good time." Dimitri said, looking to where Christian had disappeared. I just nodded. I finally looked up at him, and sighed. I heard the door open, and turned to find Kirova and Alberta.

"She's agreed to the medication to see how it works. She said if she doesn't like it, she won't take it anymore." Alberta said. I just nodded, happy she'd agreed to that much.

"She's also going to be paying the psychologist a visit every three days. We'll evaluate her that way, and see how much she's progressed and maybe the medicine won't be necessary anymore." Kirova said. I nodded. It all sounded good for the most part, except I'd been half expecting them to ask me to return to the academy. I was disappointed when they didn't.

"Why didn't you say anything to us about this, Rose?" Alberta asked.

"It wouldn't have changed anything. I ran away with her, you were going to kick me out regardless. It was a need-to-know thing. You didn't need to know." I said, my voice clipped and hard. Kirova just looked away, proving I was right. "What is the medicine you're giving her going to do?" I asked.

"It'll block her from whatever magic she possesses, meaning whatever is causing her to feel the need to cut herself will be shut off." Kirova said.

"She won't be able to use her magic anymore?"

"No… We think that the magic is what's making her crazy." Alberta said. "Vladimir and Anna were bonded, just as you two are. Anna ended up killing herself from the madness it drove her too."

"Was she the bonder or the bondee?" I asked. Alberta looked down.

"Bondee." She finally said. I nodded. _Perfect, as if I didn't have enough to worry about. _

"And Vladimir?"

"He was a spirit user. It's the rare element that some moroi wield. It's what Lissa's specialized in, which enabled her to bond the two of you, and is the reason she's going through these darkness spells." She told me. I nodded.

"Can I go see her now?" I asked.

"Yeah, go ahead. We need to talk to Dimitri." She said. I threw an apologetic glance back to him, and he gave me a reassuring smile. I walked back inside, and to the bed Lissa was sitting on the edge of. I smiled at her, as I walked in.

"Did they tell you?" I nodded.

"Yeah. I'm glad you agreed on your own terms. If you would have turned it down, I would have had to talk you into it." I told her. She smiled slightly.

"I figured as much." She said.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm alright now. My arms don't sting as bad anymore. They gave me some pain reliever." She told me. I nodded.

"Good." I said.

"I'm sorry you had to rush all the way here to save me." She murmured.

"I wasn't going to let you lay on the bathroom floor and die, because I had a feeling that was where it was heading." I said.

"I didn't mean to do all of that. It was like after the first cut, I wasn't able to control myself. Whatever's inside me is bad. It's dark. I don't like it." I shook my head.

"Me either, but it's a part of you, so it's something we have to deal with." I said. It was obvious that it was a part of me too since I was the bondee. I wasn't going to bring that up though. I was hoping it wouldn't come to that. "Will you do me a favor?" I asked.

"Yeah, of course." She said.

"When you see Ozera again, apologize for me, please."

"What'd you do?" She asked, obviously concerned.

"I didn't do anything. He came up to me outside and asked about you, and I sort of lost it on him. I yelled at him. I didn't mean too, but I did. I didn't mean too. I kind of lost it outside, and he was there at the wrong time." She just nodded. "He cares about you."

"I know he does."

"Do you like him?" I asked her. She looked away from me, meaning that she did. I shook my head. "Boy, we're a mess." I told her. She nodded. Dimitri then walked in.

"Rose, we probably need to be heading back." I nodded.

"Can I help her back to her room?" I asked.

"Yeah, they've got her bathroom pretty much cleaned up." He said.

"Good." I told him. I turned to her. "Can you walk?"

"Yeah." She said, standing. She was a little wobbly, so I wrapped an arm around her waist, and helped her to her room. When we got there, they were spraying the bathroom to get the metallic smell out that all the blood had left. I helped her into bed and sat down.

"You gonna be okay?" I asked. She nodded.

"I should be now. Thank you… for coming." She said. I smiled.

"I told you I'd always be here to save you. I just making good on my promise." I told her. She nodded. I hugged her, and went into her bathroom, picking up the bloody razor blade from the sink. I rinsed it off, and put it in my back pocket. I then walked back into the room and hugged her one more time. "If you need me… well, I'll know." I said. She smiled.

"Dimitri?" She asked. He looked up.

"Yes?"

"Thank you, for bringing her here." He smiled.

"Not a problem, Princess." He said. We turned and walked out, leaving her. I was silent on the walk to the van. We got in, and started back to the estate. The ride there was pretty much silent.

"I was half expecting them to ask you to stay." He finally said.

"I was too." I whispered. I stared out the window. The van fell silent. When we got back to the estate, the sun had set, so everyone would be awake soon. When we got out of the van, I grabbed Dimitri's arm gently.

"Hey…" I said. He turned.

"Yes?"

"Thank you… for taking me to her." I whispered. He nodded.

"It's obviously a good thing I did." He told me.

"After what Eddie said, I was sort of scared you'd change your mind." I admitted. He shook his head.

"I knew the decision I was making." He told me. I smiled slightly.

"I don't know what I would have done without you today." I admitted. It was hard for me to admit that I needed anyone, but it was obvious that I needed him today. I saw something shine through his eyes, before he looked down.

"It wasn't a problem." He finally said. I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tight. He wound his arms around my waist, and held me. I buried my face into his chest and took a few deep breathes to keep myself composed. He pressed his face to my hair. "You'll get through this." He assured me. I just nodded. I took a final deep breath and pulled away.

"Thanks." I said, before walking inside. When I walked in, Landon looked up and gasped. It was then I realized that I was still covered in Lissa's blood. I looked like I'd committed a murder.

"Rose… what happened?" He asked. Eddie entered the room, as Dimitri came in behind me. He looked to me, and then to Dimitri.

"What's going on?" He asked, looking at Dimitri.

"None of your concern, Castille." I growled, still upset about his words earlier.

"Watch it, Hathaway." He snapped, taking a step towards me.

"Fuck you, Eddie." I snapped at him. He started to come after me, but Dimitri stepped between the two of us.

"Don't… Eddie, let it go." He said.

"Did you hear how she spoke to me? Dimitri, you're letting her get off with way too much. You're not disciplining her. You're letting her do as she pleases, and giving in to her every whim." He said. Dimitri's eyes met mine. He was asking if he could explain to him, so he wouldn't keep getting grilled for what was going on.

"Go ahead." I said, before walking straight through the house and out the back door. Landon called after me, but I didn't bother turning. I didn't want to deal with any of them. I sat down against the fence, staring up into the night sky. I pulled the razor out of my pocket, glaring at it. All of this was caused by nothing but a small piece of metal. I ran the blade over my finger, slicing it open. The blood rushed to the surface, and I sighed. It wasn't long before the door opened. I expected Dimitri, so I didn't turn. I smelt clove cigarettes and soon realized it was Adrian.

"Rough night?" He asked; glass of what looked like liquor in his hands.

"Rough would be an understatement." I said. He offered me the glass. I attempted to raise an eyebrow, but he just moved closer with it, showing that he was being serious. I took the glass and downed it. It was vodka… hard vodka. I didn't make a face though. Adrian smiled and sat down beside me.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"How are you supposed to feel when you find out you might end up going crazy and killing yourself?" I asked. He smiled.

"Well, you're asking the right person, since I am pretty much crazy." He said, chuckling.

"I'm serious." I finally said. He sighed.

"I heard that you're bonded." He finally said.

"You know? How?"

"I have my ways. Word travels fast at court. Then, word gets back to me." He said. I nodded.

"Awesome. Now, everyone knows."

"I could help you guys." He told me.

"How?" I asked. He took my hand in his, and closed his eyes. I felt his magic flare up, and looked down to see where I'd cut myself with the razor was now gone.

"You're a spirit user too?" I whispered. He nodded.

"Surprise."

"Woah…I had no idea. I'd never heard of anyone else like-."

"Because I kept it under wraps just like you guys did." He told me.

"How could you help us?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I don't know, but I'd do my damndest to try." He promised. He looked up at me. "I knew you were bonded the moment I met you, Rose."

"How?"

"I can tell in the colors of your aura." He said.

"My what?" I asked.

"Your aura. It's the colors that surround you. Spirit makes you perceptive. Each person has a color, a distinct color. Yours was a dark purple, sometimes black. It's the darkness from Lissa's spirit, and the same color as hers." He said. I just nodded, not knowing how to respond to that. We sat in silence for awhile, before he stood up.

"You want another drink?" He asked.

"I'd love one, but I don't know if Dimitri's gonna make me practice." I said.

"He's not. He hasn't gotten any sleep. He'll be grumpy. He'll probably call it off for today." He told me. I sighed.

"I better pass this time." He shrugged.

"Suit yourself." He said, walking inside. A few minutes later, Dimitri walked out. I sighed.

"I'm sorry about all that. I don't know what happened. I had an outburst. I'm sorry. I'll apologize to him if I need to." I said. He shook his head.

"No… He understood for the most part." I just nodded. "We're not practicing today, if that's why you're out here."

"It's not. I just wanted some fresh air, and for no one to follow me to my room asking me what was going on. I figured I was safest out here." I told him. He smiled slightly.

"You should go change out of those bloody clothes and get some sleep." He said.

"I couldn't sleep now if I wanted to." I muttered. I stared up into the dark sky at the stars and the moon, and sighed. I turned to him. "What if I really do go crazy? What if I go off the deep end worse than Lissa, and kill myself, like Anna?" I asked.

"It's not going to happen." He said, firmly.

"You don't know that. I don't know what this bond brings. What if it gets really bad? What if there's nothing I can do?" I murmured. He grabbed my face.

"You are not going to lose it. You're strong. You'll fight your way through this." He told me.

"I don't know if I'm strong enough to fight what's inside me." I whispered. He knelt down and met my eyes for a second.

"You're strong, Rose. You'll fight through this." He said, conveying everything he was feeling that moment in his eyes. I was lost in them, and my mind was like an egg on hot pavement… scrambled. I didn't know what I was doing, what I was thinking. Everything was so messed up in my head, that when it happened, I was in complete shock. He was so close, and I was so lost and confused. I don't know what willed me to do it, but I leaned forward… and I kissed him. What shocked me more than anything, was that… he had kissed back. The moment I realized, I stepped away from him, my hand flying to my lips. The razor blade I'd held in my hand clattered to the ground. I didn't look down.

"Oh my god…. I'm-." I didn't know what to say. I quickly gathered myself, and ran for the house, upstairs and inside. The moment I was in the safety of my room, I locked the door. I laid my back against the door, taking deep breathes trying to calm myself down. I'd just fucked up… royally.


	13. Disappointed!

I finally forced myself off the floor to shower and change out of the bloody clothes I'd been wearing. I sat down on the edge of my bed, head in my hands. What was I supposed to do now? Any friendly terms Dimitri and I had come to are over now. I sighed, not knowing what to do. I wished like hell I could go back and change that, because I would. I don't know what willed me to do what I did. I didn't feel anything for him… did I? I sighed. It was obvious there was something there, or I wouldn't have kissed him. I threw my hair up, and decided that I was tired of sitting here wallowing. I went downstairs to the guest rooms, and knocked on Adrian's door. When he opened it, he smirked.

"Well, what a lovely surprise." He said. He smelled like Vodka. Which is exactly why I was here.

"I think I'll take you up on that drink."

"In that case, come on in." He said, opening the door wider. I stepped inside and sat down on the couch as he walked over to a table filled with nothing but bottles of what looked like expensive vodka, and scotch. He brought me over a glass and handed it to me.

"What changed your mind?" He asked. I couldn't really tell him what happened. I shrugged.

"I'm just stressed and couldn't sleep." He nodded.

"I could see that in your aura earlier."

"What about now?" I asked, looking around me. He smiled.

"Can't see it now." He informed me, taking another swig from his glass.

"Really? Why?" I asked.

"I've been drinking, hoping it'd shut it off for a little while. It's kind of depressing seeing what other people feel. I like to shut it off every once and awhile." He said, swirling his glass around. "Alcohol numbs spirits affects. If Lissa wants help, she'll have to start-." I cut him off.

"Becoming an alcoholic? That's not going to happen. Lissa won't even drink at parties." I told him. He shrugged.

"Well, I guess she's screwed."

"The medicine they're putting her on will help, hopefully." I said. He shook his head.

"She'll hate it. I did."

"You were on the medicine too?" I asked. He nodded.

"For like a week. Feeling that vulnerable, that human. Having all that magic, not being able to use it… that'll drive her insane before the darkness." He informed me.

"We have no other options anymore." I said, downing the rest of what was in my glass. He took it from me, and poured me another.

"When she's on the medicine, she'll be looking for any other options. I promise, she'll hate it."

"Lissa's not as needy as you." I muttered, smirking. I watched as his eyes ran up and down my body, before he shrugged.

"I guess I am kind of needy." He said, turning away and pouring himself another drink as well. I rolled my eyes at the advance. After about an hour of drinking with Adrian, I was drunk. Like, so drunk that I had trouble walking. I was at the point now, that I was stumble/pacing ranting on about all of the craziness with Lissa and how I was so tired of it all and I just wanted to be happy. He just nodded and agreed with everything I said. I finally stumbled back over to the couch where he was sitting and fell down on it beside him. He turned to me, and smiled.

"You're absolutely gorgeous, you know." I grinned like an idiot.

"I know." I said, simply. He'd leaned across the couch to speak to me. "You're not so bad yourself." I ran my hands through his tousled hair. This time, I knew what willed me to do what I did. It was pure alcohol. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. He reached up, and knotted his hands in my hair as our kisses deepened. I remembered when this was a regular thing for me back at the academy. Just some friendly making-out, never really a big deal. When we parted, Adrian smiled.

"Beautiful and talented… Hmm, good combination." He said. I giggled.

"I should probably go." I told him. He shook his head, and placed a hand over mine.

"Don't leave… please."

"I need to go." I said, smiling. "It's been fun."

"It has." He told me.

"Let's not tell Dimitri about this." I said, meeting his eyes. He nodded.

"You're secrets safe with me." He told me. Too bad bringing up Dimitri brought back all of my earlier worries. I sighed.

"I'll see you later, Adrian." I said, finishing the last of what was in my glass, and walking out. I use the word walking loosely. It was more like stumbling. I stumbled up the stairs, and back to my room. I collapsed on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I had no idea what I was going to do, how I was going to go about moving on from the mistake I'd made earlier. Right now, I really didn't care. The vodka coursing through my veins made everything else obsolete. After a while, I made the mistake of going downstairs. Landon was there, smiling slightly as I excited.

"Hey, Rose." I stumbled into the kitchen.

"Hi." I said, plopping down in the chair across from him. He raised an eyebrow.

"Have you been… drinking?" He asked.

"Noooo." I said, drawing out the word. He raised an eyebrow.

"Is everything okay?"

"Everything is just fuckin' great." I said. Coming downstairs was a bad idea. He gave me a look.

"Do you want me to make you something to eat?" He asked, standing.

"Sureee." I said, smiling. He walked over to the fridge, and pulled out some eggs, scrambling them for me. He set the plate down in front of me, as he went to make me toast.

"Thanks." I said, shoveling the food into my mouth. I ate the toast too. I think he was feeding me bread to try and soak up all the alcohol in my system, which was probably a good idea considering the large quantities of it that I'd had.

"Where'd you get alcohol from?" He finally asked.

"Why, you want some?" I asked. He shook his head, smiling.

"No thanks, I'm just curious." He said.

"A friend." I said, simply. He raised an eyebrow, knowing he was the only friend I had here. I didn't want to give Adrian away and get him kicked out though. He just nodded, knowing I wasn't going to go any further with it. I finally stood up, stumbling a little.

"You should probably go get some rest, Rose." He said.

"You might be right." I mumbled. He smiled.

"I'll help you too your room, come on." He said, taking my arm. I smiled and allowed him to help me to the stairs and up them. When we reached my room, he took me inside and helped me over to my bed. When I looked up, I smiled.

"You've got pretty eyes." I cooed. He smirked.

"You're really drunk. We'll see if you think the same thing once you're sober." He told me. I smiled.

"I will." I sang, as he started towards the door. He laughed.

"Get some sleep, Rose."

"Yes , Landon." I called, as he started out the door, closing it behind him. I laid down, and placed my hands over my eyes. Before I knew it, I was unconscious.

When I woke the next morning, my head was pounding. I was experiencing the worst hangover, ever. I'd woken up before my alarm clock, but didn't catch it before it started blaring in my ear. I slacked it, causing it to fall off the nightstand. I didn't bother picking it up. I got dressed and threw some make-up, on before heading downstairs to get some aspirin. I took three before I walked towards the back door. God, this was going to be god-awful. I know it is. He's going to bring up the kiss and I'm gonna get yelled at, and it's gonna make my head hurt even more, then we're going to practice which is going to make it ten times worse. _God, just kill me now._ I thought as I opened the door. The moment the door closed behind me, Dimitri looked up from where he sat on the sidewalk. He looked like he was thinking really hard about something, but when he looked up at me, he frowned.

"Woah… You look like-."

"Shit?" I finished. I nodded. "I'm aware. Thanks for the boost of confidence." He met my eyes for a second, causing me to quickly avert my gaze elsewhere. I knew that they got me into last time.

"Are you… Are you hung-over?" He asked, standing up and walking towards me. I took a few safe steps back to keep the distance between us.

"No, what would make you think-." I started. He cut me off with a look. Regardless of everything, I knew I couldn't lie to him. "Alright, maybe I'm a little hung-over."

"A little? The bags under your eyes say different."

"I'll be fine, can we practice please?" I asked. He avoided my question, and asked his own.

"Where'd you get alcohol from?" He asked.

"I had it." I lied.

"You're lying." _God damnit. _How'd he always know?

"God, okay… Adrian offered me a drink last night, so… I hung out with him."

"I knew better than to let him stay here." He said, shaking his head. He was obviously disappointed. Whether it was in me or in Adrian I wasn't sure. "He's got to go." He said, starting to walk around me. I grabbed his arm. That was a bad move, but I didn't care.

"Don't. He didn't force me to drink with him. He offered once, and I turned him down, but after awhile, I got bored, and wasn't doing very well being alone, so I took him up on the offer. It wasn't his fault. I made that decision. Don't blame him for it." I said.

"I can't have him-." I cut him off.

"It won't happen again. It was a lapse of my better judgment, and at the time," I looked away from him. "I needed it. He was trying to help me. Don't blame him." He looked down at me for a second, before I looked back up at him. I realized my hand was still laid over his perfectly muscular forearm. I quickly removed my hand and stepped back.

"Rose, we-." I cut him off, knowing where this was going.

"Can we practice? Please?" I begged.

"Rose, we have to talk about this." He said. I shook my head.

"No… we don't." I said, firmly. He raised an eyebrow, seeing that the kiss had shaken me up as much as it had him. He sighed.

"You went to Adrian's to drink because of what happened, didn't you?" I looked away.

"No."

"Rosemarie." He said, voice hard. I sighed.

"Yes, alright… I did. You wanna talk about what happened? It was stupid. I was weak, and vulnerable, and needed to feel something other than the pain, and hurt, and fear I was feeling. That's why I did what I did. It was stupid. I'm sorry. It won't happen. It was a moment of weakness." I said. Somehow, as the words fell from my lips, I felt the lie in each one. What I wasn't able to explain was why he kissed me back. That was the mystery to me, but I didn't plan on bringing that up. This was already uncomfortable as hell anyway, and I didn't want to make it worse. I felt like he was looking right through me, seeing the lie behind every word. I wondered if he'd say something, but he didn't. I watched as what looked like a hundred different emotions crossed over his face, before his guardian mask took over.

"You ready to practice?" He asked. I just stood there, staring at him for a second. I didn't know whether to hit my knees and rejoice or whether to bring it up some more.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"Why wouldn't I be? I'm glad we got this out of the way. Come on." He said, motioning for me to follow him to the mat. I walked over, and stepped onto it before looking up at him. I watched as he took a deep breath, and looked up at me. "You ready?" He asked.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine." He said, voice hard. I stared at him for a second, and nodded. Finally, I started to wonder if he was upset because of what I'd said about the kiss. I couldn't tell with his face now that he fully had his guardian mask intact. I crouched down, and so did he. We began training, going through different moves and such. He showed me a few things, but I noticed that his tone stayed strictly professional. There was no joking manor like there was normally when we practiced. This was strictly student and mentor, nothing more. There was no sign of even friendship in the exchange between us. When we were done, we were both pouring sweat. We'd been training a little over an hour longer than we normally did, so he finally called it and started to walk away. He got almost out the gate when I called after him. It was the moment he turned around, that I realized I had nothing to really say, so instead, I said the first thing that came to mind.

"I'm sorry." I murmured.

"For what?" He asked. It was then I realized that I wasn't sure what I was apologizing for. I wasn't sure if I was apologizing for the kiss or for the lies I'd told about the kiss. I couldn't deny that I felt something for Dimitri, but there couldn't ever be anything between us. I knew that. Having a crush on a teacher was something high school girls sometimes went through, but I wasn't sure how many mentors actually fell in love with their novices, not saying that I knew he was in love with me or anything, but he wouldn't have kissed back if he felt absolutely nothing for me. I sighed, realizing I had no idea how to answer this question.

"For everything." I admitted. He met my eyes for a second, as I tried to convey everything that I was truly thinking through them. He just nodded once, and gave me one of those half-assed smiles I used to get when I first got here. He turned and continued into the house, glancing behind him once before he walked inside. God, I'd gotten myself into a mess.


	14. Open!

**DIMITRI'S POV**

Once I was safely inside, with the door closed behind me, I laid my back against it and took a deep breath. This was wrong, wrong on so many levels. Who was I to be feeling this way about a child? It made me feel dirty to even think of Rose as anything more than a novice, but I couldn't seem to help myself. Rose was beautiful, and pure, and everything that was magnificent about the world all wrapped up in one. How I'd come to this conclusion so quickly, I'd never begin to understand, but I knew that I'd never felt this way about another person… ever. I didn't know what to do with that information seeing as how she was seven years younger than me. Regardless, no matter how hard I tried to shake what I was feeling, it just wouldn't seem to go away. The kiss had really sent me into a frenzy of emotion. What was I supposed to do when my beautiful, intelligent novice kissed me? Not kiss back? Push her away? Tell her how wrong it was and sent her to her room? No… I couldn't, because the attraction was there. I felt it from the moment she stepped off that bus and into my world. I finally walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water before looking up to see Adrian come around the corner.

"Morning man, sorry I'm up late. I was gonna help you and Rose practice again." He said. I couldn't help the anger I felt towards him.

"Yeah, don't worry about it." I snapped. He raised an eyebrow and sighed.

"You know?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Adrian. Just stay away from her. Don't influence her more than you already have." I said, my voice hard.

"She came to me, Dimitri. I offered, knowing she'd turn me down. I didn't think she'd come back." He said. I didn't know whether to believe him on not, so I nodded once.

"Don't let it happen again, or you will be out of here, Adrian. I won't tolerate it. She's got other things she needs to focus on, and alcohol and partying isn't one of them." I said. I watched as he tilted his head, and raised an eyebrow.

"What's gotten into you, man?"

"What?" I asked, sharply.

"You're aura. It's black and red. I've never seen it so dark before though. The red isn't even really a red. It's crimson. That means whatever emotion you're feeling is deep." He told me. Automatically, I knew it was Rose. She was the one bringing this out of me. Rose walked in the back door, and Adrian turned to her. I wondered what he was seeing in her aura, because he just stared for s second before turning back to me. Finally, Adrian spoke.

"Morning Rose."

"Hey Adrian." She said, simply. We all stood there for a second in silence, before she spoke again. "Yeah, this is awkward. I'll be in my room if anyone needs me." She tiptoed around us, and upstairs.

"Why do I feel like there's a part of the story I'm missing?" Adrian asked me.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I've got stuff to do." I said, trying to walk around him.

"You're aura's are almost the same colors." He said. "Hers is darker, obviously because of the darkness from Lissa, but other than that, they're the same. Why?"

"I don't know, Adrian." I said, defeated. I sighed. "I've got to go. I've got paperwork, and some things to call around about."

"Alright, we'll talk later." Adrian said, before I turned and walked out. Our auras were the same color. I wondered what that meant. If she was feeling the same thing I was feeling, that meant that she'd lied about the kiss, just as I'd suspected. She didn't regret it. She simply said all those things to keep herself out of trouble. She legitimately felt something for me as well, and she wasn't going to be able to deny that. I sighed. I'd gotten myself into the mess that was Rose Hathaway, but I couldn't say that I didn't like it. I walked into my office, and sat down at the desk, running my hands through my hair. Oh boy.

**ROSE'S POV**

The moment I was around the corner, I wondered what Dimitri had said to him. I wondered if he'd yelled at Adrian for what happened last night. I wondered if Adrian had told him about the kiss. Suddenly, I was sincerely worried. What if Dimitri was upset that I'd kissed Adrian not long after I'd kissed him? What if Dimitri kicked Adrian out because of me or kicked me out because of him? There were so many things running through my head, and all I knew was Dimitri wasn't happy with Adrian. It was obvious in his rigid disposition when I walked through the door. As I started up the stairs, Landon called after me. I turned, remembering being with him slightly last night as well.

"How's the hangover?"

"It's… a hangover." I answered, simply. He chuckled.

"You were a trip last night."

"Thank you for taking me to my room and stuff." I said.

"It wasn't a problem. I didn't need you getting into any more trouble." He said, smirking. I could tell he was teasing, but I knew he was right. If I got into anymore trouble, Dimitri probably wouldn't hesitate to kick me out.

"I know." I said. He chuckled.

"You look like you need a nap."

"I need something." I muttered. He laughed.

"Another drink maybe?" I snorted.

"Not this time." I told him.

"Come on, you gotta bite the dog that bit you." He teased. I smiled.

"Not this time." I repeated. He laughed. We talked for a few more minutes before he told me he was going to go get a shower. I nodded, and watched as he turned to walk away. It was then I remembered something that I'd said last night and smiled. "Hey Landon?" I called.

"Yes?" He asked, turning back to me.

"I wasn't that drunk last night. You really do have pretty eyes." I said. His face flushed a light shade of pink, before he smiled.

"Thanks Hathaway."

"Not a problem." I said, before walking upstairs. I felt his eyes on my back as I left. When I got upstairs, I sat on my bed, and ran a hand through my hair. I had to put up with this weird relationship with Dimitri for the remainder of my stay here. Before, I looked forward to practice. Now, I couldn't say the same thing. Now, it was weird, and everything was strictly professional and rigid, and no fun at all. I hated it. I knew it'd be this way from now on. I sighed. I got a quick shower, and lay down in my bed. I was hoping I'd fall asleep, so my hangover would pass sooner, but I couldn't sleep. My mind was racing, and I knew I'd never be able to sleep. I finally decided I was tired of lying there, wallowing, so I got up and started outside. The moment I opened the back door, I saw Dimitri running the track. It was obvious he was trying to get his mind off everything. I stood and watched as he ran around the track. Eventually, my eyes fell to the ground. I felt eyes on me, and looked up to find him looking at me. I sighed, knowing I'd been caught. I walked forward, knowing he was going to want to talk to me. When I reached him, he picked up a towel off the sidewalk, wiping his face.

"What are you doing up?" He asked. The light was starting to shine over the horizon, meaning everyone else was probably asleep. Except the two of us, of course.

"Probably the same thing you're still doing up." I said, my voice barely audible. He just sighed. "Did you yell at Adrian?"

"No, I didn't yell at him. I told him never to let it happen again. I guess I understand why you did what you did." He said, looking down. I just nodded. It was silent for a second, before I spoke.

"I lied to you today." I said, not sure where the words were coming from.

"I know." He answered. I knew he'd seen through me.

"I'm sorry I lied to you."

"Don't apologize." He said.

"I feel like I need to apologize. You do so much for me, and I lied to you. You didn't deserve that, regardless of the circumstances." I told him. We stood in silence for a second before he spoke.

"Don't you think you should be in bed? Training is going to come awfully early in the morning." I shook my head, sitting down on the sidewalk.

"I couldn't sleep if I wanted too." I muttered.

"Rose, if it's about what happened, just let it go. It's the past, we can't change it. We've got to move on." He said. I nodded. I knew why I did what I did, but I still couldn't move past the fact that I didn't know why he did what he did. Finally, I nodded.

"You're right. I'm gonna go try and get some sleep." I said. He just nodded, meeting my eyes for a second, before looking away.

"Goodnight, Rose." He said. I turned and started back towards the door. I heard him sigh and could tell that he was about as restless about it as I was. I couldn't stand it anymore. Finally, I turned around and called his name.

"Yeah?" He asked. I took a deep breath.

"Why'd you kiss me back?" I asked, meeting his dark brown gaze through the darkness. He was silent for a few seconds. Finally, he sighed.

"I don't know, Rose." He said.

"You may be able to read me like a book, Dimitri… but you're not exactly hard for me to read either. I can tell when you're lying too." I said. He was silent, I'd rendered him speechless. "Goodnight, Dimitri." I said, before walking inside and leaving him with those final words. I went upstairs, and curled up in my bed, closing my eyes and letting unconsciousness slowly find me.


	15. Alright!

I'd barely gotten any sleep, and the sleep I did get wasn't enough. I'd tossed and turned all night. When I slapped my alarm clock and rolled out of bed, I went into the bathroom and stood in front of my mirror. My eyes had dark circles under them, and were bloodshot. I put some drops in my eyes and covered my face with make-up, before getting dressed and starting downstairs. When I reached the bottom, Adrian looked up at me.

"Goodmorning sunshine."

"Yeah." I grumbled as I walked to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.

"Someone's in a good mood this morning." He noted. I sighed.

"Yes, Adrian… I'm just fucking great." I snapped. He put his hands up in surrender.

"Sorry…" He said, backing away. I just sighed.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be snappy." I said. I ran a hand through my hair. "I didn't get much sleep last night." He just nodded. He looked around me, and arched a perfect eyebrow.

"Are you feeling alright?" I gave him a look.

"I'm fine… why?" I asked. He just looked at me for a second, before shrugging.

"Your aura looks a little darker than normal. I don't know, maybe it's just me." He said. I stepped closer to him.

"It's darker… like from Lissa darker?" I asked. He nodded. I quickly slipped into her head, finding her waking up, and starting her daily routine before school. I could feel the block between her and magic. I could tell it was pressing on her, but she was dealing with it. I noticed that the darkness, the constant need for some kind of feeling, some kind of release was gone. I could tell that she felt semi-normal. It was nice, and I could tell that she was enjoying that feeling. I pulled myself out of her head, and focused back on the situation at hand. "She's fine, why would my aura be getting darker?"

"Because the medication blocks all of her magic, and even the darkness. All of that darkness has got to go somewhere, Rose." He told me. I just nodded.

"Perfect. As if I didn't have enough to worry about." I muttered. I sighed, walking towards the back door. When I walked out, Dimitri was staring towards the door, probably wondering where I was. Adrian followed me out, causing Dimitri to stop.

"You're late."

"Sorry, Adrian was just giving me my latest aura update, and I had to check on Lissa." I told him. His face changed slightly.

"How's she doing?" He asked.

"She's doing good. The medicine is keeping her sane. I can tell the difference when I'm in her head now, compared to how dark and gloomy everything was before. She feels incredibly normal. She likes feeling like that, like she's not about to explode." I told him.

"Although you probably can't say the same anymore, huh?" Adrian asked, looking at me incredulously.

"Adrian… I'm fine." I said, not wanting to get into this with Dimitri around. I walked around them starting to walk towards the track and the mat that was laid out. Dimitri grabbed my arm gently, pulling me back around to look at him.

"What's he talking about, Rose?" I shook my head.

"It's nothing, Dimitri. I'm fine, honestly."

"Adrian." Dimitri said, turning to him. Adrian sighed, and shook his head.

"It's not my place to tell, man. I'm sorry." He told them. Dimitri met my eyes for a second, before he looked up at Adrian.

"Can I talk to Rose… alone?" Adrian nodded.

"Sure." He said, before nodding at me once and walking inside. I pulled my arm out of Dimitri's hold and started for the track.

"Rose… don't be like this. I know that you're going through a lot, but you need to tell—."

"I will be fine on my own, Comrade." I assured him.

"What did Adrian say about your aura?" He asked me. I looked away, remaining silent for a second. "Roza…" He murmured softly. I was used to him only calling me that when he felt affectionate towards me, or when he wanted something. Nonetheless, I gave in every time.

"Adrian said that… that my aura is darker than normal."

"And what does that mean exactly?" He asked me. I sighed.

"The medicine Lissa is on blocks whatever darkness is in her. When that darkness has nowhere to go…"

"It goes to you." He finished for me. I just nodded. He reached up and ran a hand through his hair. It was obvious to me now that he was about as worried about this as I was. "What does that mean? That you're slowly going to turn into what Lissa was?"

"I don't know, Dimitri. Being bonded doesn't exactly come with an instruction guide." I said.

"Maybe we can call Lissa, have her taken off the medicine, and then maybe-." I cut him off.

"And have Lissa start cutting herself again? No way." I snapped.

"But if it's causing you too-." I shook my head.

"I would much rather deal with the darkness than have her deal with it. She's not good under that sort of thing, and she made it obvious. I won't take that chance again. If I have to deal with all of this to keep her safe, I'll do it. I won't take the chance on losing her, Dimitri. I'll never be able to forgive myself if I do."

"I get that, but Rose it's not safe for you to have to suffer from it either. Maybe there's some medicine we could try, or maybe is there a way to break the bond?" He said.

"The only way to break the bond is death to one of us, Dimitri."

"That's the only way?" He asked.

"The only one." I told him, nodding. "Knowing that I'm slowly going crazy is going to send me over the edge before the darkness actually will." I whispered, looking away from him.

"I'm not gonna let that happen to you." He told me. I walked into the gate and to the track. I didn't want to talk about this anymore, but I knew Dimitri wasn't ever one to avoid a subject. He followed me to the track. "I'm not."

"There's nothing you can do for me, Dimitri. What's happening is out of any of our hands. There's nothing that can be done. My fates already been sealed. This darkness that comes from Lissa will drive me mad as long as she's on the medicine. She cannot be off the medicine." I said.

"There's got to be another way."

"I'll deal with it, Dimitri. It's all I can do." I told him. I sighed. "Are we gonna practice or what?"

"It's killing you… isn't it?" He asked.

"What?"

"I can see it in your eyes, the fear you're feeling that you're going to end up like Lissa." He said.

"Dimitri, let's practice… please." I begged.

"Rose, you've got to talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about. I'll be fine. Can we practice now? I'm here to learn to kill shit. This isn't a psych ward." I snapped.

"Rose." He started. I pushed him onto the mat, and swung. He ducted under my swing. I threw a kick and he deflected it. I threw a few more random punches. He blocked all of them except one, which he took to the chest, causing him to stumble back. I continued on my fury of swings, not sure where it was all coming from. He blocked most, caught a few, and ducted out and around most. He didn't attempt to take me down, or try to stop me. He let me go, getting it all out of my system. After awhile, he left an opening, and I accidentally caught him in the face. The moment I did, I felt horrible, and all of the fight drained from me. I watched as he reached up, and grabbed his jaw, pain clear on his face.

"I'm sorry." I murmured. The moment the words left my mouth, he looked at me.

"Rose?"

"I don't know what just happened." I whispered. He knew. It was an outburst from the darkness inside me. He walked over and took my face in his hands. He could see my resolve slowly shattering. "I really am going crazy."

"No, you're not." He promised me. I shook my head.

"I need a minute." I walked away from him, walking out front of the estate, taking deep, deliberate breaths. I couldn't believe what had just happened. I was losing it already, and I wasn't even sure why. Lissa hadn't even been on the medicine for a week yet, and her darkness was already beginning to overwhelm me. I heard someone coming around the house, so I started walking down the drive way, and towards the main road.

"Rose?" I heard Dimitri's voice call. I didn't stop walking. I heard him running to catch up with me, but I didn't stop.

"Where are you going?"

"I said I needed a minute. I'm just going to walk…" I said.

"I can't have you out here alone, at night."

"Whatever." I said, continuing to walk. He didn't speak for a long time. I didn't either. I just continued to walk. Dimitri's phone rang a few times, but he didn't answer. He kept pulling it out and hitting the ignore button. "Castille looking for you?"

"Probably." He said, softly.

"Go back… Don't want him freaking out on you for giving into my every whim, and all that." I muttered as I continued walking. He didn't say anything for a few minutes before he stopped, and grabbed my arm, pulling me to a halt.

"Rose, I want you to listen to me, alright… I know that you're going through a lot right now. I know that I can't even begin to understand what you're going through, but I'm going to help you the best I can. I know I'm your mentor, and I'm older than you, and you see me as an adult, another person to tell you right from wrong, and make you follow the rules, but Roza, I'm your friend. I'm here to help, to get you through all of this, and I care about you enough that I'll help you do that no matter what it costs me." He said, the words rushing out of him. I stood there for a second, staring deep into his eyes. It was in moments like this that I realized that Dimitri wasn't someone I was thrust upon to teach me what I needed to know, and move on. He was a part of my life for a reason. I could see how much he genuinely cared for me, and it was nice to felt like I actually had someone there for me. I knew I had Lissa, but that was different. I met his eyes once again, and realized something that scared me more than anything. I was falling in love with him. I didn't know how it was happening, or why, but it was in this moment that I realized I'd never felt this way about a person in my life, and it scared me.

"I wouldn't ask that of you, you know? I'd make it on my own."

"You don't have to be alone in this, Roza." He murmured softly, touching my face.

"I'm better off alone. No one can save me from this, Dimitri."

"I can, and I will, Roza." He murmured softly. His thumb rubbed a small pattern on my cheek. "Do you trust me?" The next words scared me because I actually meant them.

"With everything." I answered simply.

"Then trust me when I say I will get you through this."

"Okay." I murmured. I watched as his eyes traveled down my face to my lips and back up to meet my eyes. I quickly turned away, knowing this would put us right back where we started. "We should probably get back. Castille and the rest of them are probably worried."

"We don't have to go back if you're not ready." He promised me. I reached up and removed his hand from my face, squeezing his gently as I released him.

"I have no choice anymore." I murmured. I turned and walked away, heading back towards the estate. He followed after me, us both walking in silence. When we reached the estate, Castille was outside, dialing something on his cell phone. When he looked up and saw us, his face turned red.

"Where the fuck have you been? You can't just disappear in the middle of the night like that." He scolded us.

"We went for a walk." Dimitri said to him.

"A walk? A walk? I've been sitting here, worried you were both captured by strigoi, and you simply went for a walk? Why the hell didn't you answer your phone, Belikov."

"Rose and I were talking." He told him. Eddie just stood there, seething.

"Talking?"

"Yes, because unlike you… I actually give a shit what my novice is feeling. We went on a walk so she could get some shit out of her system. Now, will you calm down and not give me the third degree. Trust me, if we were captured by strigoi… You would have known. Now, if you'll excuse us, we've got training to do." He said, motioning for me to follow him around the house. Eddie stood there, his mouth gaping open. I smirked as I followed after Dimitri. We practiced for what seemed like ever running off the little sleep I'd gotten. I managed to stay on the mat though, which kept me from getting another concussion. I thought that was pretty good. Adrian came out and helped me train a little bit to. Dimitri showed me some different moves I could use that would be a quicker way to weaken a strigoi. It was hard to focus a lot of the times when he was touching me, but I managed pretty well. I could tell having his hands on my body had the same affect on him though. When we were finally wore out, and decided to call it a day, I started towards the door.

"Rose?" Dimitri called.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"You gonna be okay?" I smiled for a second. I looked down at my feet and back up at him.

"I will be now." I said. I smiled at him, and started for the door.


	16. Gimp!

When I went inside, I found Landon's mentor helping him hobble into the kitchen and sit him down at the kitchen table. The look of pure pain on Landon's face made me frown. I followed them, completely concerned.

"What happened?" I asked, as I knelt down beside him.

"I was practicing, and I turned wrong on my ankle, and fell. I landed on it wrong." He told me. His ankle was already swollen. It didn't look like anything was broken, but it looked bad nonetheless. Guardian Young was filling a bag with ice for him to put on his ankle. I reached out for it when he was finished and looked up at Landon.

"Geez, klutz." I said. He narrowed his eyes at me slightly. "You ready?" He nodded once as I gently laid the bag of ice on his disgusting ankle.

"You're done for the day, Landon. Get some rest, and we'll see how you feel in the morning." He told him. Landon just nodded, but I could tell he wasn't happy about having to miss practice. "Do you want me to help you to your room?"

"I'll take care of him." I told him. He turned to me.

"You sure, I can do it." He said. I shook my head and smiled.

"Nahh. I've got it." I assured him. He nodded and smiled. I stood up wrapped an arm around Landon's waist, and helped him up. We hobbled down the hallway and into his room, where I had to all but throw him onto his bed. We laughed as I finally got him situated, because he'd pulled me down onto the bed with him. When I was able to stand up, I sighed. "That should not have been that difficult." I snapped, playing with him.

"I'm so sorry, Rose." He said. I giggled. I went into his bathroom and grabbed three towels. Two to prop his ankle up and one to wrap around the ice pack. Once I got him all set up, he smiled.

"Thank you for doing this, Rose. This was all unnessicary."

"You took care of me when I was drunk and needed you, so I owed you." I said.

"You didn't owe me. All I did was convince you to go to bed, and help you there." He said, shrugging. I laughed.

"I know. Regardless, it was still nice of you, and plus… You're my friend. I take care of my friends." I said, smirking at him. He smiled. "Now, I'm going to get a bag of chips and some soda's… okay?" He nodded.

"I'll be right back." I said, before I walked out of his room, and back into the kitchen. I grabbed one of the unopened bags of chips and a few sodas and carried them back to his room. I laid them all on his bed, and shut the door, locking it behind me. I walked back over to him, and crawling into bed beside him.

"This is nice of you, Rose. Thank you." He said.

"It's what friends are for." I said, simply. "So, if you're going to be here for the next two days, what are we going to do?"

"I have some movies in that box over there. I have a deck of cards somewhere… we could play strip poker." He said, wagging his eyebrows at me. I laughed.

"Nice try. What else do you have?"

"I think that's it. I've got some car magazines, a guitar, that's pretty much it." He said. I attempted to raise an eyebrow.

"You play guitar?"

"I used to. It's been awhile." He told me. I smiled. That was definitely unexpected. I didn't see Landon as the musical type. Finally, we just decided to watch some TV. He turned it on and flipped through the channels before finding some ridiculous sci-fi movie on, and leaving it. We laughed at how stupid it was, as we laid curled up in his bed. It was actually nice to be so relaxed with a friend. I had my head laid on his shoulder, as we shoved potato chips in our faces. We laughed and joked around and had a good time. After an hour or so, I ran downstairs to dump his melted ice bag, and filled it back up. As I started back for his room, Dimitri walked out.

"What's that?"

"Landon's ice pack. He rolled his ankle at practice?" I told him.

"You playing doctor?" He asked me, obviously amused, but there was something hidden, deep within his eyes that I couldn't quite decipher.

"I'm just taken care of him, and being there for him." I said, shrugging. "It's get awfully boring all by yourself, and not being able to get out of bed." I looked towards the window to see the light breaking the horizon. It was later than I thought. I smiled and said my goodbyes to Dimitri before walking back to Landon. When I walked in, he was passed out asleep. I smirked at how adorable he looked as he slept. I walked over to his bed, and propped his leg carefully back up without waking him. As I slid the icepack underneath it, he whimpered slightly, but didn't wake. I kissed his forehead, and started for the door when he mumbled my name. I turned around to find him still sleeping. I smirked to myself as I realized he was dreaming about me. I smiled as I watched him shift slightly, and smile. He was still completely out of it, but it was quite entertaining to watch. Finally, he quieted so I shut his door, and walked back to my room. When I got inside, I showered and laid down in my bed. As I closed my eyes, and fell asleep, I felt someone's presence, like they were there with me. It was then that a dream world was created around me. I was in awe, as I realized I was standing on a beautiful beach. I looked up to see Adrian walking towards me.

"Adrian?"

"Hey there." He said, simply.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"You're dreams."

"You are most definitely not in my dreams. Sorry to disappoint you Ivashkov." He laughed.

"I'm in your dreams more than you think." He said.

"What?" He smirked that annoyingly smart ass smirk of his.

"Nothing. I just thought I'd show you what else I can do with spirit."

"You… You're doing this?" I asked him, looking around. He nodded.

"It's called Dream-walking." He said.

"Like Freddy Kruger?"

"Yes, like that, except if I killed you here, it wouldn't do anything to you." He said. He looked down. "Atleast, I don't think it would. I've never actually tried." I just nodded. I wasn't about to be his experiment.

"So, you do this to people often?" I asked.

"No…Not really." He said, shrugging.

"To have Adrian Ivashkov dream-creep on me must be a prestigious honor then, huh?" He narrowed his eyes.

"You make it sound gross."

"Well, it kinda is." I teased, smirking. He rolled his eyes. It was easy to see that Adrian had met his match in the sarcasm department when he came here.

"Whatever, Hathaway. I'll leave now." He said. I giggled.

"Goodnight, Adrian." I called as the dream world faded from sight, and I woke up back in my bed. I laid there for a second, staring at the ceiling. Finally, I fell back into unconsciousness. When I woke up the next morning, it was about thirty minutes before my alarm would normally go off. I was going to go check on Landon before I went down to practice. I got dressed, and did a little make-up, before heading to Landon's room. I knocked before I heard him call to come in. When I opened the door, he was at the threshold of the bathroom, leaning against the wall.

"What are you doing out of bed?"

"Trying to get ready for practice?" He tried.

"You can't practice with a rolled ankle, Landon."

"I can try." He told me. I shook my head and walked over to him.

"You need to get back in bed. You're not going to practice on a rolled ankle. You can't even walk, how do you plan to fight?" I asked, helping him back to the bed. He sat down and sighed.

"I'm going to be going crazy in here. I'll be sitting here, doing nothing… all day? How am I supposed to handle that?"

"Come to practice with me?" I asked.

"And do what?"

"Just sit and watch. Learn how a real novice practices." I teased. He narrowed his eyes. I laughed. "I'm teasing, but I was being serious about coming with me. It'll give you something to do. Or I can help you to the gym to watch the other novices."

"I'd rather go with you." He told me. He hobbled around the room, and changed his clothes, before hobbling out to me. I wrapped an arm around his waist, and helped him to the back door and outside. Dimitri looked up when we started towards the track. He raised an eyebrow, as I helped Landon sit on the sidewalk.

"What are you doing?"

"I didn't want him to sit in his room bored all day, so I told him he could come watch us train. Of course, if that's okay with you?" I said, looking at him. He looked down at Landon, and back to me. I saw something pass through his eyes quickly, but it faded when his guardian mask filled his features.

"He can stay, as long as he doesn't distract you." He told me.

"He won't." I assured him. I smiled down at Landon before sitting down on the mat to stretch. Landon talked to me, while Dimitri stretched on the fence.

"You aren't ever scared to train with him?" He asked me. I smirked.

"He's not as bad as he looks." I told him, shrugging. Dimitri turned to me, and narrowed his eyes. I winked at him when Landon wasn't looking, causing Dimitri to smirk and shake his head at me. I loved the reactions I brought out in him. They made working with him quite amusing. When we were done stretching, he walked back over to the mat.

"What are we doing comrade?" I asked.

"Well, I figured we could just fight today, and see how you put what I taught you yesterday to use." He said. If I was being honest, all I could really recall from yesterday mostly, were his hands on my body as he showed me all the new moves he wanted me to try. Regardless, I nodded. I stepped onto the mat as he did the same. I crouched down and turned to Landon.

"Watch and learn." I said, before turning back to Dimitri. He nodded at me once, and we circled twice before he went for the attack. I dodged, throwing a kick that he easily deflected. He lunged for me, but I jumped out of the way, throwing a kick to the back of his knees, causing him to stumble. I tried to kick his legs out from under him, but he saw that coming. I faked left, and tried one of the moves he'd taught me, but he grabbed me and threw me to the mat, placing his hands over my heart. _You've got to be kidding. _

"What the hell?" I asked.

"What?" He asked, eyes locked on mine.

"Nothing… lets go again." I said, standing up. He nodded and we circled again. We exchanged more blows this time, a lot more of them landing than last time. I could feel Landon's eyes intent on my back. I wasn't losing this one. It just wasn't going to happen… not again. I could tell we were wearing each other out. We were both going a little heavier than normal. I faked left again, and started to use another one of the moves he taught me, when he once again took me to the mat, hands over my chest.

"God damn it. What am I doing wrong?" I asked, slamming my fist against the mat. He sat up on his knees.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm doing those moves exactly like you taught me. Why can't I take you down?" I demanded. Dimitri chuckled. The sound wrapped around me like a blanket. I growled. "What's funny?"

"I taught you those moves, Rose. Those are my own moves. You really think I'd let you take me down with my own moves? Come on." He said. He smirked. "A good fighter knows all the counters to every one of their moves." I growled.

"Of course." I muttered. He chuckled. "Am I doing something wrong?" I finally asked. He shook his head.

"No, you're doing them perfectly. I'm just not going to let you take me down with something I taught you." I rolled my eyes. Landon was chuckling behind me. I turned to him and narrowed my eyes.

"Shut it, gimp." I said. His jaw dropped, causing both Dimitri and I to laugh. "Just kidding."

"Yeah, right. You're lucky I'm injured Hathaway, or I'd have to kick your ass."

"Come on, gimp. Let's see what you've got." I said, smirking at him. He tried to get up off the sidewalk, but couldn't. I giggled. "I was kidding. Calm yourself."

"Come on, Rose." Dimitri said, pulling my attention back to him. I turned to him, and nodded. I crouched down again, and waited. We went back and forth forever, but neither of us could get the upper hand. We went round and around for what seemed like ever, before I finally faked him out, and kicked his legs out from under him. I went to take him to the mat, when he grabbed me, pinning me. I tried to roll us, protecting my chest at the same time, but I couldn't roll. I reached up, and pushed him hard, giving me the upper hand for a second, enough to punch him dead in the chest. I knocked the wind out of him, giving me the chance to roll us. I did, and pressed my hands to his chest. I was out of breath, staring down into his beautiful brown eyes. It was in this moment, that everything around us disappeared, and it was just me and him. Both of us were breathing hard, trying to pull out of our locked gazes. It was then I realized Landon was here.

"I did it." I said, trying to recover. "I took you down." Dimitri smiled up at me.

"You did." The smile that came over me, made my face hurt.

"I did it." I said, jumping up. Landon laughed.

"Congrats." Landon said. Dimitri sat up.

"It won't happen again." He said, simply. He smirked at me, as he stood up. "You're done for the day."

"Thanks." I said. I walked over to Landon, and helped him up, taking him inside. The moment I got Landon inside, and glanced behind me, Dimitri was looking at me. The moment I caught him, he looked away. I took a deep breath, and kept walking, resisting every urge to go back to him. There wasn't any denying it. The glint in his eye that I'd seen was definitely jealousy.


	17. Take Care

I helped Landon back to his room, and told him that I was going to take a shower, and I'd be back later to check on him. He just nodded and told me how good of a job I did today, and how much of a badass I was. Quite frankly, it was all stuff I already knew, but I took the compliments anyway. I headed into my room, and grabbed a change of clothes. I took a long hot shower, letting the hot water relax my muscles. I didn't know why, but that look on Dimitri's face before I came in continued to haunt me. That jealous glint in his eye was something I'd honestly never expected to see out of him. Dimitri Belikov, the most badass guardian I've ever met, jealous of another novice. It just didn't make much sense. I got out of the shower, and got dressed, putting on a little bit of make-up, before heading back downstairs. I went into the kitchen, and made a sandwich. I sat down at the table, and started eating with Dimitri walked in from the gym. He met my eyes for a second, before looking down.

"What'd you do with Landon?" He asked. I didn't miss the sneer in his voice when he said his name.

"He's in his room."

"You left him?" He asked. I chuckled.

"I'm not his babysitter. I was just helping him around. He's fine on his own too." I said. He nodded.

"You spent most of yesterday with him, and you brought him out today, so I just figured-." I cut him off with a shake of my head.

"I was just helping him out. I don't have to be there every second he's awake. He's a big boy. He'll make it." I told him, taking another bite of my sandwich. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water, and sat down across from me.

"Have you checked on Lissa lately?"

"I actually haven't. If some things wrong, I'd know." I said, tapping my temple.

"I guess that means the medicine is working well."

"For now. I still worry about what Adrian said about it, but I guess only time will tell." I murmured.

"What'd Adrian say?" He asked.

"He said that he was on that medicine once, and being cut off from his magic was driving him crazy faster than the darkness was. I don't know how Lissa particularly feels about not having her magic, but I guess only time will tell whether she can handle being cut off from it." I said. He nodded. He looked down at his hands wrapped around his water bottle, and back up at me.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine… for now." I said, knowing that I wasn't really. Inside me there was always something dark building, ready to explode at any given moment. It scared me, but right now, I was fine.

"For now?" He asked.

"I never know when I'm gonna have another outburst." I told him, shaking my head.

"You're first one wasn't that bad." He told me.

"That's only because I was with you. What if next time, I'm with Adrian or Landon, or I hurt someone on accident?" I said.

"You won't. You're stronger than that."

"The darkness is stronger than I am. I might not be able to fight it." I told him.

"I believe in you." He said, meeting my eyes with a serious intensity. It was there I could see that he had all of the confidence in the world in me. I looked down.

"I don't. I can fight something I can see. I can fight the enemy, but what am I supposed to do when the enemy is in me?" I asked, talking mostly to myself.

"You'll fight it. We'll fight it together." He said.

"I've already told you, you can't help me."

"I will. I'll do everything I can." He said. He reached across the table, and laid his hand over mine. "You're not in this alone."

"Thank you." I said, sliding my hand out from under his. I looked up and smiled. "Do you want me to make you a sandwich?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you."

"You sure?" I asked. He nodded once. I shrugged and finished my sandwich, throwing my plate in the sink and sitting back down across from him.

"Have you talked to Adrian?" He asked me.

"No…I haven't today. Why?"

"Just curious. I haven't seen him today." He said. I nodded.

"I can go check on him if you want."

"Is that such a good idea?" He asked me, raising an eyebrow. I growled.

"It was one time. Let it go." I snapped, smirking. He chuckled.

"You can go check on him." He said. I nodded and got up, heading down the hall. When I reached his room, I knocked once. _No answer_. I knocked twice. _Still no answer_. I opened the door, and looked around to find his room empty. I called out, but there wasn't a reply. I walked back to the kitchen, seriously worried now.

"He's not there." I said.

"He isn't?"

"No… His rooms empty." I told him. I was pretty sure the worry was clear on my face.

"Check out front. I'll get out back." He said. I nodded and started for the front door. I walked out, and looked around into the night and saw nothing.

"Adrian?" I called. I could hear Dimitri's voice echoing from outback. When my eyes finally adjusted to the darkness, I could see better. I heard someone groan, and turned to my left to find Adrian lying crumbled on the ground. "Adrian?" I said, running towards him. I hit my knees beside him, looking at his bloody and battered face. "What happened to you?" That's when I saw the fang marks on the side of his neck. He'd been bitten. My blood ran cold. It was then I heard someone clear their throat behind me. I stood up to find someone standing at the edge of the woods. They stepped into the soft light of the moon, and that's when I saw it, the red-rim around their eyes. _Strigoi_. This was bad, really bad.

"You're moroi there seems to be a little battered."

"You did this to him." I said. He shrugged.

"I just roughed him up a little bit." He started towards me, taking slow steps, antagonizing me. I took a few steps away from Adrian, but still continued to block him.

"Dimitri…" I screamed, right before the strigoi lunged at me. I had no choice but to take the force of his hit, because if I moved I'd be opening Adrian up to him. He swung, and I blocked. I faked right and swung, catching him in the face. He stumbled back, and lunged at me again. I threw a kick, catching him in the face when Dimitri ran around the corner.

"Roza." He exclaimed, before running over and tackling the strigoi to the ground. "Rose, GO!" He yelled. I stood there, sort of frozen for a second, before I realized I needed to run. I ran over to Adrian, and pulled him up. He was out of it, and completely dead weight. I could still hear him breathing though, so he was alive, that was good. I got him inside, and laid him on the couch.

"Adrian… Adrian, can you hear me?" I asked. He groaned. I ran into the kitchen and wet a wash cloth, holding it to his neck. "Castille!" I screamed. He came running.

"What?"

"Stay with Adrian." I said, motioning for him to hold his neck. I stood up, and started back for the front door.

"Rose, what's going on?" He demanded.

"I have to find out if Dimitri's okay. Stay with him, please." I said, running out the front door. When I got outside, Dimitri was on the ground, over the strigoi. The strigoi was obviously dead, because Dimitri was pulling his stake out of his heart. "Dimitri…" I murmured. He stood up, and turned to me, but the moment he did, his legs gave, and he fell to the ground. I rushed to him.

"Hey… are you alright?"

"I'm fine… I'm just tired." He murmured.

"Come on, let's get you inside." I said, trying to pull him up. He shook his head.

"No… Just give me a minute. Just let me rest for a second, and I'll be fine." He told me.

"What if there are more out there, we have to get you inside." I said, touching his face. He nodded, and allowed me to help him up. I wrapped an arm tight around his waist, trying to support all of his weight. The moment we got in the door, Eddie completely abandoned Adrian and rushed to us.

"What happened?"

"Strigoi." Dimitri said. "I took care of it."

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"Yeah, how's Adrian?" He asked, motioning to him. Eddie nodded.

"I called the doctor. He's on his way. He should be fine. Just a little endorphin high and tired, he'll recover. Do you want me to help you to-." I shook my head then.

"I'll take care of him. Will you take Adrian to his room please? He'd be so much more comfortable when the doctor gets here."I asked. Eddie nodded.

"As you wish. Feel better Dimitri." He told him, before I helped Dimitri over to his bedroom. When I got him into the room, I kicked the door closed behind me, and helped him over to the bed. I helped him in, and stood up.

"You're shirt is all bloody. You need to change." I told him.

"I'll change in the morning." He groaned.

"Dimitri, that's disgusting. I'm not going to let you sleep like that." I told him. I walked over to his dresser. "Which drawer?"

"Third one down." He answered. I opened it, and pulled out a black t-shirt. I helped him sit up, and pulled his shirt off over his head. It was the first time I'd ever seen him shirtless, and by god was he gorgeous. I'd always thought Dimitri in jeans and a black t-shirt was the sexiest thing ever, but I'd been wrong. It was then I noticed the dark scratches on his chest.

"Damn, Dimitri. He got you good, didn't he?" I asked. He looked down, and frowned.

"I guess so."

"Those could get infected." I said.

"Dhampirs rarely get sick." He argued.

"But with our luck, you probably would." I said. I walked into his bathroom, and found a bottle of peroxide and wet a wash cloth before walking back out.

"I'll be fine. There isn't any need for this." He said.

"Will you just let me take care of you… please?" I said. He groaned, but nodded. I poured peroxide on the rag, and met his eye. "You ready?"

"Go ahead." He said. I ran the rag across the first scratch. I heard his teeth grind together.

"I'm sorry." I murmured, as I did the second one, then the third. When I was done, I helped him pull his shirt on over his head, and he lied back.

"Do you want me to get you some water?"

"Rose, I can take care of myself. I'm fine now." He said.

"Dimitri, do you want a glass of water?" I asked again. He just sighed and nodded. I walked out of his room, and into the kitchen, getting him a glass of water, and carrying it to him.

"Thank you." He murmured, taking it from me. I sat down on the edge of the bed, and turned to him.

"You feeling better?" I asked. He nodded.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I said. He raised an eyebrow at me. "I don't think I've ever been that afraid in my life." I whispered, looking down at my hands.

"That was the first time you've ever encountered a strigoi, wasn't it?" He asked. I nodded.

"I just knew I couldn't let him get back to Adrian."

"You did amazing." He murmured. He laid his hand over mine on the bed once again.

"If you hadn't come to help me, I would have died." I told him.

"I wasn't going to let that happen." He said, emotion thick in his voice. I just nodded, not knowing what else to say. "Thank you, for taking care of me."

"It wasn't a problem. You saved my ass, it was the least I could do." I told him. He smiled. I stood up, and walked over to him. I leaned down and kissed his forehead. "Sleep tight, Dimitri." I started to stand back up, and walk out, when he grabbed me preventing me from moving. Our faces were only inches apart, and I watched as his eyes traveled down my face. I could tell he was putting up a big fight trying not to kiss me. He pulled my head down to his lips and kissed my forehead as well. As disappointed as I was, I took it willingly.

"Goodnight, Roza." He murmured softly. I smiled and stood up, walking out and shutting his door behind me. When I walked out, the doctor emerged from the hallway.

"Doctor…how is he?" I asked.

"He'll be fine. He's a little battered, and endorphin high, but they'll both pass. I bandaged the cut on his arm and face, but other than that, the rest he'll have to get through on his own." I nodded.

"Thank you sir." I said, nodding before he walked out. I walked to the door to lock it, when I noticed the strigoi's body was missing.

"We called the alchemist. They came and took care of it." Eddie said, walking over to me. I just nodded. "How's Dimitri?"

"He's fine. He's worn out, but he'll be okay. I disinfected his cuts, and helped him to bed." I told him. He nodded approvingly.

"Good." He said.

"I'm going to bed. Goodnight Guardian Castille." I said, walking around him, and going upstairs. I laid down in my bed, and was fast asleep within a matter of seconds.


	18. Seared!

When I woke up the next morning, I was sprawled out across my bed in the most uncomfortable position that you could possibly imagine. When I sat up, my entire body ached; I moaned as I looked down and realized I hadn't even gotten the chance to change. I was still wearing bloody clothes from last night's fiasco. I got up, and went into the bathroom, showering a little more thoroughly than normal. When I got out, I quickly dressed and headed downstairs. I was already an hour late for practice, not that I thought we were practicing anyway after last night. When I got downstairs, Dimitri was at the table with a bowl of oatmeal.

"You were late for practice." He said, smiling slightly.

"I didn't think there'd be a practice."

"There you go, thinking again." He said. I rolled my eyes at him.

"How are you feeling this morning?"

"I'm a little sore, but I'll live. You?"

"Same." I said, rubbing my neck as I sat down across from him.

"Did I thank you for taking care of me last night? I don't really remember much from the exhaustion." He said. I nodded, and smiled.

"Yeah, you thanked me." I told him. He just nodded. "Have you checked on Adrian this morning?" I asked.

"I went down there, but he was still sleeping. I didn't want to wake him, so I left him alone." He said. I got up.

"I'm gonna go see if he's awake yet." I told him, walking out of the kitchen and down the hallway. I knocked on his door, and heard what sounded like him groaning, and then mumbling come in. I opened the door, and walked in to find him sprawled out on his bed.

"Adrian, are you alright?" I asked. He groaned and rolled over to look at me.

"I feel like I got ran over by a steam roller."

"But you're alive and that's what counts." I told him, smirking. He smiled slightly. I helped him sit up, him moaning and wincing as he moved.

"I guess you're right." He said. I sat down on his bed, and met his eyes.

"What happened last night?" I asked him.

"I went outside to smoke a cigarette. That was it. I didn't hear anything, and when I did, it was too late. He'd bit me, and then knocked me out." He said, reaching up and touching the bandage taped to the side of his neck. I frowned.

"I'm sorry." I murmured.

"It wasn't your fault. You did what you could. You got me out of there before he could actually kill me." He said, placing his hand over mine. I smiled and nodded.

"You want something to eat? I'll make you something and bring it to you." I said. He shook his head.

"I need to get up. My bones ache from sleeping so long." He said.

"Are you sure? Maybe you should stay here, I'll get you something. You don't have to get out of bed." I told him. He smirked.

"Careful Hathaway. You keep talking like this; I might actually start to think that you care." He teased, winking at me. I narrowed my eyes.

"Well, I can't have that." I said. He shook his head at me. I helped him up, and down the hall to the kitchen. I fixed him breakfast, and sat down at the table with him and Dimitri as they spoke.

"So, do you think more strigoi will come back now that that one is dead?" I asked.

"It's possible. We'll be ready this time though." Dimitri said, nodding at me once. I looked at Adrian.

"No more going outside without a guardian, or me understood."

"I love how you totally just put yourself in the category with the guardians." He said, smirking. "Confident… I like it. It's sexy on you." Dimitri's face shifted slightly, before I watched the stoic guardian mask fill his features. I decided the best way to reciprocate was with a witty Hathaway quip.

"Any emotion or state of mind is sexy on me. You should know that." I said, smirking back at him. I looked at Dimitri to see a small smile spread over his face, before he shook his head slightly. I giggled, and stood up; washing the few dishes we'd all three used. After that I helped Adrian back to his room so he could shower. I walked back downstairs, and grabbed a bottle of water.

"Going somewhere?" Dimitri asked. I shrugged.

"I think I'm gonna go run the track. Just so I can say I did something productive with my day." I told him.

"I'll go with you." He said.

"You're not in any condition to run. You need to rest." I said. He smiled and shook his head.

"I'm fine." He told me.

"Yeah, that huge black spot on your jaw and your limp says different." I said harshly. He sighed.

"I'm a big boy, Rose. I don't need to be babysat." He told me.

"Well, it's quite obvious that you don't know what's good for you. You need to be ready for the asswhoopin' you're going to get a practice tomorrow, so you need to rest up." I said, smirking. This got a laugh out of him, which was what I'd been aiming for. I felt accomplished. He shook his head.

"I told you, it won't happen again." He said.

"We'll see." I said, walking out the back door. He followed me out obviously. He sat down on the sidewalk, and watched as I took my place on the fence. He counted me off, and when he said go, I took off around the track. I ran it about five times before I slowed to a jog, and then a walk before walking over to him.

"I've never noticed how graceful you are when you run." He said.

"Thank you?" I said, making it sound more like a question. He chuckled.

"It was a compliment." He assured me. I nodded.

"Okay." I said, not really sure what to say. I sat down on the sidewalk a little ways away from him. A comfortable silence fell over us. After a few minutes of sitting there, I was sucked into Lissa's head. This time, for a different reason. I gasped, because it caught me off guard. When I realized what was really happening though, I calmed slightly. This time it wasn't fear or pain gripping her; it was happiness, pure bliss. It was almost as if I could feel it coursing through my own veins. She was kissing someone, and she was obviously thoroughly enjoying it. I was sincerely wondering who it was, until she pulled away, and I… I mean, she was staring into a set of electric blue eyes. _Ozera. _Oh my god, she was making out with Christian Ozera. What the hell was she thinking?

"_You're so beautiful, Lissa. It's hard to believe that you're real." _He murmured to her. I thought I might throw up. He ran his hands up her body, as he unbuttoned her shirt, one at a time. She didn't stop him either.

"_I'm not that beautiful." _She said back, her voice teetering on the edge.

"_That's where you're wrong." _He said. Oh. My. God. I have got to get out of her head. I kept pushing, trying to get out, but her emotion was so strong, it was like it was holding me there. I could hear Dimitri calling my name, but it was faint, like background music in a movie. You didn't really pay attention to it. He kissed his way down her now bare torso, causing her emotions to intensify. _God damn it, I've got to get out of here. _You are your own person, Rose. You're Rose Hathaway, not Lissa. I kept pushing and pushing, trying to get free. More and more clothes were coming off. I had to get the fuck out of here, and quick. I felt hands on my face, and heard Dimitri call my name again. I latched onto his touch, the feel of his hands on me, him calling my name to distinguish my own person. I concentrated hard for a few seconds, before I was able to pull myself out of her head. When I was back in my own head, I was caught off guard by how close Dimitri was to me. Our faces were only inches apart, causing me to gasp slightly.

"What happened? Is Lissa okay?" He asked. I shook my head, trying to get the disturbing images out of my head.

"She's fine." I said, trying to keep my eyes on his and not let them drift down his face. I think he saw my internal struggle as well because he released my face and stepped back. I stood up; rubbing my face to keep myself in the present and not letting her suck me back in.

"What happened then? You were sucked into her head like something was wrong, I thought-." I shook my head.

"I'm sucked into her head when she feels any kind of strong emotion." I said, gritting my teeth slightly. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Then what was happening that you got sucked into her head?" He asked. I looked down, running my hands through my hair.

"I'm scarred for life." I muttered, not having to say anything. He coughed a laugh, and shook his head.

"Rose, I'm so sorry you had to witness…"

"Luckily, I was able to force myself out of her head before they… went all the way." I said, wincing slightly at the thought of having to witness that. "God, I'll never be able to get that out of my head. They've permanently seared my brain." I stood, and paced the sidewalk. Dimitri chuckled. "It's not funny." I snapped, but couldn't help laugh when I saw his face.

"It is funny and you know it."

"It's funny to you because you didn't have to see it." I said.

"But you telling me was torture enough." He teased. I groaned, and ran my hands through my hair again. He smirked. "You'll be fine."

"I'm going to have nightmares." I snapped, pushing him playfully. I sighed. "I should probably go check on Landon. I haven't been back to see him since the other day."

"He was at practice this morning."

"So, his ankle must be better."I said. He nodded.

"He was fighting pretty hard, so he must be back to a hundred percent." He said.

"I should go check on Adrian then. He wasn't exactly one hundred percent." I told him. He nodded. "I'll see you in the morning." I turned and started towards the house.

"Hey Rose?" He called.

"Yeah?"

"Sweet dreams." He said, chuckling. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I hate you, Belikov." I muttered, before walking inside. I went down the hall to Adrian's room, and knocked. He didn't say come in, nor answer the door, so I knocked again.

"I'm coming." He called. I waited. When he opened the door, the first thing I noticed was that he didn't have a shirt on. Second thing I noticed was that all he had on was a towel.

"Woah… Uhm-." I said, averting my eyes to his face. He chuckled.

"Hello to your too, Ms. Hathaway."

"Uhm… I was just-." I started. There wasn't any denying that Adrian was dead sexy.

"My eyes are up here." He said, motioning to his face.

"I wasn't-. I was just coming to check on you." I told him.

"Well, come on in, so I can get dressed." He said, opening the door wider so I could come in. He shut the door behind him, and motioned to the couch.

"Make yourself at home. I'll be back." He said, walking into his room, and closing the door behind him. I sat on the couch until he finally come out fully dressed. I was thankful for that much.

"So, you were coming to check on me, huh? I already told you Rose, if you aren't careful… I'm going to actually start to think you care." He said.

"I do care or I wouldn't have saved your royal ass last night." I told him, smirking as he walked over to the table with all his liquor on it, and poured himself a glass of something expensive no doubt.

"Drink?" He asked.

"I'll pass. I have practice in the morning." I said.

"Awe, come on… One drink won't kill you." He said.

"No, but Dimitri might." I said. "I don't want to take the chance of him kicking you out because of me."

"Careful Rose, your emotions are showing."

"Shut up, Ivashkov." I muttered, rolling my eyes. I took the glass from him, and took a large gulp of it.

"Happy?" I asked.

"Extremely." He told me. I sighed.

"Well, I'm glad to see your doing better. I'm going to head back to my room and sleep now."

"I'll see you later." He said, something hiding behind his words. When I reached the door, I turned back to him and narrowed my eyes.

"Stay out of my dreams, Ivashkov." I told him. He frowned.

"Awe, come on." He started. I shook my head.

"I mean it." I told him. He nodded.

"Whatever." He said. I smiled.

"Night Adrian."

"Night little dhampir." He said, as I shut the door behind him. As I started to pass Landon's door, I stopped and knocked.

"Come in." He called. When I opened the door, he smiled.

"Hey there. I was wondering where you've been." He said.

"Sorry I didn't come back. I had some stuff to deal with."

"It's okay." He said.

"How are you doing?" I asked.

"I went to practice today, so my ankles better. It hurts now that I'm off of it, but I'll live." He assured me. "I heard you were involved in some strigoi business that happened the other night."

"Yeah, Adrian was attacked. I was the one that found him." I explained.

"Is he alright?"

"He's fine now. Still Adrian." I told him. He nodded.

"Good. I'm glad you're all alright." I yawned.

"Well, I'm going to go to bed. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight, Rose." He said.

"Night Landon." I said, before walking out. When I got to my room, I collapsed onto my bed, and fell into unconsciousness.


	19. Walk Away!

Instead of waking up to my normal obnoxiously loud alarm clock, I was woken up by an obnoxiously loud knocking at my door. _You've got to be kidding me. _I sat up, rubbing my eyes.

"What?" I yelled.

"Are you decent?" I heard. I was still partly asleep, and couldn't tell who it was.

"I was until you started beating on my door." I snapped back. The door opened, and Dimitri stepped in, closing the door behind him. He had clothes draped over his arm as he stood in front of me.

"Goodmorning." I looked over at my clock to see it was only four p.m. It was not time to be awake yet, or even thinking about being awake yet.

"It's not even morning." I growled, laying back down and pulling the blankets over my head.

"Come on, Rose. Wake up. We're taking a trip, and we can't afford to be late." He said.

"Five more minutes mom." I complained. I heard him lay the clothes down on something beside the door, and heard his footsteps approach. Next thing I knew, the blankets were ripped off me.

"Get up, Roza." He said. I could tell he was thoroughly enjoying this. I could hear the amusement in his voice. _Bastard. _

"Dimitri… please… let me sleep." I begged.

"Rose… get up. We have a plane to catch, and you're going to make us miss it. Adrian will be very upset with you if you make him miss his flight." He said.

"Why is Adrian leaving?" I asked. I panicked automatically, remembering last night.

"He's not. There's a royal meeting at Court that he has to attend, and he needs guardians to get him there and back. I'm escorting him, and you will be as well. Think of it as a field trip." He said. "You even get a uniform and everything. We'll be staying overnight though, so pack a bag."

"Oh boy." I said, feigning excitement. I sat up and ran a hand through my hair. When I finally looked at him, he looked sort of stunned. I wondered if I had something on my face, or if my hair looked funky. "What are you looking at?" I asked.

"Nothing… Sorry. Get dressed and meet me downstairs please. We're leaving in an hour." He said. I nodded. He walked out, closing the door behind him. I got up, and walked over to the uniform on my chair. I grabbed it and threw it on my bed, quickly changing into it. I then went into the bathroom, and put on some make-up, and ran a brush through my hair, before pulling it up into a pony tail. I threw a change of clothes and pajama's into a bag and threw it by my door. I slipped on my shoes, and headed downstairs. The moment I hit the bottom stair, Adrian whistled at me. When I looked up, he was standing there, smirking.

"Damn, Hathaway. You clean up nice." He said. I ignored him, shaking my head as I went into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. Dimitri came around the corner, and stopped when he saw me.

"Yeah, I know… I look amazing, yada yada." I said.

"Are you guys ready?" Adrian and I nodded. I threw my bag over my shoulder and followed them out to the van. Before we reached it, I turned to Adrian and smiled.

"I call shot-gun." I said. He narrowed his eyes.

"No, that's not even-." I cut him off.

"I'll fight you for it." I said.

"Ahh… you can have it." He said. Dimitri chuckled.

"Good choice." He told him. I smirked. As we got into the van, I then realized something.

"You're not going to make us listen to those god-awful country stations, are you?"

"Why of course." He said. I groaned. "I'll fight you for it."

"You sure about that? You might lose." I said.

"I wouldn't." He assured me. I rolled my eyes as we left the estate and headed for the airport.

"What's this royal meeting about, Adrian?" I asked, looking back at him, trying to drown out the sound of the horrible music on the radio.

"I don't know. My Aunt called me this morning and asked me if I could come back, so I told her yeah." He said. I just nodded.

"Didn't you show up alone though?" I asked. He shook his head.

"No, Dimitri sent a Guardian to the airport to get me." He said. I just nodded. I turned back around in my seat, and got comfortable as I watched out the window. "So, Rose… have you checked on Lissa lately?" Adrian asked. Dimitri coughed, choking back a laugh. My eyes cut to him, and back out the window.

"Yeah, I checked on her… yesterday." I said, trying to keep the images out of my head.

"How's she doing on her medication?"

"He's doing good." I said, hoping he'd change the subject. He soon did, as he and Dimitri launched into a conversation all their own. I stared out the window, listening to the sound of Dimitri's voice. It wasn't something I'd ever noticed before, but his voice was very comforting. I knew I'd taken comfort in his voice before only because he was helping me when I needed it, but now, here in the cab of the van in a perfectly content mood, it still had the same calming effect on me. His voice was like velvet, laced with a Russian accent, not that I'd ever admit that out loud. When we reached the airport, we boarded the plane, and got situated before take-off.

"How long is the flight?" I asked.

"About an hour… maybe an hour and a half." Dimitri told me. I nodded. I hadn't been to court in awhile. I wouldn't say I was excited, but I was definitely ready for a different scene besides the estate and St. Vladimirs. "How long has it been since you've been here?"

"It's been awhile. The last time I remember coming here was with Lissa and her parents." I told him. He nodded. We lapsed into silence once again, before his phone rang, and he got up to answer it. As he paced the isle, I saw him look up at me a few times, and then went back to pacing. When he finally came back to sit down, he didn't speak. "What was that about?" I asked.

"Nothing… just arranging our rooms and stuff at Court." He said. I could tell he was lying, but I knew even if I called him out on it, he wouldn't tell me. He finally stood up, and grabbed his bag, digging through it for something. "I have something for you." When he pulled it out, my eyes went wide.

"That's a… I don't even really-." He cut off my rambling.

"I know I haven't taught you how to use one properly, but I'm hoping you get the gist of how to use it. It's just in case. There are wards, and I'm doubting anything is going to happen over the 24 hours that we're there, but it's just to be sure. I'd rather be safe than sorry." I just nodded. I shoved it into my belt, hiding it the way most guardians did. The plane finally landed and we got off. Dimitri getting off first, then Adrian and me. As we made our way inside, I started to remember being here before. Adrian smiled as we walked in the door.

"It's good to be home." He said.

"No one's forcing you to stay at the estate, Adrian."

"I know, but it's so much more exciting there, with strigoi attacking me, and the pretty girls there and all." He said, his eyes falling on me. Dimitri's face went hard as he looked at me.

"I'm going to go let them know we're here." He said, his voice matching his face. I nodded at him once before he disappeared around the corner. Adrian chuckled.

"I don't know why he gets so offended by the stuff I say."

"Maybe because most of its uncalled for?" I tried.

"Almost everything that comes out of my mouth is uncalled for. He knew that before he invited me." He said. I nodded.

"I guess you're right." I muttered. A few minutes later, Dimitri came back around the corner with two keys. He handed one too me.

"We have rooms in the guest wing." He told me. "Adrian, we'll catch up with you later." Adrian nodded, and walked away. I turned and followed Dimitri. "The rooms here are nice. Much bigger than the ones at the estate."

"It doesn't really matter much, does it? We're only staying overnight." I said.

"But you've got to think. One day, you and Lissa might be living here." He said. I nodded.

"Very true." I told him, as he showed me the room I was staying in. He then turned around and opened the door right across from mine. "Good to know you're not far away if I need you."

"I never am." He said. I heard the doubt meaning behind his words, which kind of caught me off guard. I turned back and unlocked my door, walking inside.

"You weren't lying we're you? We need some renovations at the estate." I called to him. He chuckled.

"If only." He said. I closed my door, and locked it, starting down the hall as he followed. "Going somewhere?" He asked.

"Just exploring. It's been so long and all." I told him. He nodded as I walked out into the lobby. I'd barely taken two steps when I heard someone say my name. It was a voice that didn't belong to Dimitri, but was just as familiar. I hadn't seen her in what seemed like years. All I'd gotten was a note when they caught me and Lissa in Portland. A note, and that was it. It was none other than the illustrious Janine Hathaway.

"What a lovely surprise." I muttered, turning to her. She looked older than the last time I'd seen her. Her old face was withered even more, from years of battle and work. Regardless of my harsh feelings for her, I admired her work ethic. What I didn't admire was the fact that she dropped me off at St. Vladimirs and never really came back. I never really had a mother because work was more important that a five minute visit for her to let me know she was alive and well.

"You've grown up… a lot." She said, as if this surprised her.

"Yeah, it's what people tend to do when you haven't seen them in ten years." I snapped at her.

"I've been doing my job, Rosemarie. They come first." She said.

"Don't feed me that shit. I'm your daughter. You'd think you could take one day out of your busy schedule, to… I don't know… let me know you're alive, that you actually give a fuck about me."

"Watch your mouth, Rose." She snapped at me.

"You don't get to boss me around, or pretend to be my mother. In order to be a mother, you have to be around. You have to act as a mother." I said.

"Rose, don't-." Dimitri started. I turned around.

"Don't start with me. You knew she was going to be here, didn't you?" I asked. He met my gaze.

"I did… but I thought it'd be good for you." He said.

"You're my mentor, Dimitri. I don't need you telling me what is and isn't good for me." I snapped at him.

"Rose, he's your mentor; do not talk to him like that." My mother growled at me.

"I don't know why you're here, or what you're doing here, but stay away from me." I said, walking away.

"Rose… wait-." Dimitri called. I didn't turn, I kept walking even thought I had no idea where I was going. All I knew was I needed to get the hell out of here. I eventually ran into Adrian, thank God. The moment he saw me, he frowned.

"Woah, you're aura's almost black. What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing… I just… nothing. Is there a gym in this place anywhere?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yeah, come on… I'll show you." He said, offering me his arm. I took it, and allowed him to escort me down the hall. When we reached a door, he opened it and smiled.

"If you need me, Rose… You know I'm here…right?" He asked. I nodded.

"I know. Thank you, Adrian. I just need to blow off some steam."

"Alright." He said. He kissed my hand, and released me. "Have fun."

"Hey… If you run into Dimitri or Guardian Hathaway… you haven't seen me." I said. He nodded.

"You've got it." He said. He turned and disappeared. I walked into the dark gym, letting my eyes adjust before I found the light switch. The room was huge, and open. There were lots of work out machines, and then a bunch of fighting dummies and stake dummies lining the walls of an empty portion of the gym, along with a punching bag. I walked over to the bag, not caring to wear gloves or prepare. I just lost control, letting everything out into the bag. I threw punches and kicks, getting everything out of my system. I wasn't sure how long I'd been going, before I felt something wet start to trickle down my wrists. I stopped and looked at my hands to see my knuckles were raw, bleeding, and disgusting. I sighed, and sat down against the wall, placing my forehead on my knees. My mother being here wasn't the best thing for me. I would have been ten times better off without seeing her. I understood what Dimitri thought he was doing for me. I understood that he thought it was what was best, but a little warning would have been nice. I wasn't sure how long I sat there, before I heard the door open, and looked up to find Dimitri walk in. I cussed under my breath.

"I've been looking for you."

"Adrian told you where I was…didn't he?" I asked. He shook his head. "Now you're lying to me too."

"Alright, yes… Adrian told me." He said. I nodded. He walked over, and finally noticed the puddle of blood where my hands were. "What'd you do?" He asked, reaching for my hand as he knelt down beside me. I snatched my hand away from him.

"Don't touch me… Dimitri."

"Rose, don't-." I pushed myself up off the ground, and he stood up as well. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you. I should have, and I'm sorry."

"I don't need you deciding what is and isn't good for me. I was much better off not seeing her. I'm better off without her."

"She's still your mother." He said.

"Oh yeah, well when you drop your kid off and leave her for ten years, I wouldn't exactly say that deserves the mother of the year award." I told him.

"She's been doing her job."

"Her job was to be a mother, to atleast pretend that she gave a shit out me to begin with." I told him, walking away.

"Rose, stop walking away… talk to me." He said, grabbing my wrist gently.

"Maybe you should have talked to me before you went making calls about what was good for me." I said, pulling my wrist from him, and walking away.


	20. Spiked!

I was heading back to my room, planning to lock myself in there for the duration of my stay when I saw my mother standing in my general path. Luckily, she hadn't seen me when I ducked out of the hallway she was standing at the end of. At this point, my hands were killing me. I was hoping to find Adrian again, but I didn't think I'd be that lucky. As I walked, I hoped to maybe find the infirmary, something… anything, but I figured that was at the front of court, where my mother was located. I did not plan on going back there anytime soon. It was then that a familiar voice called my name. When I turned, I found none other than Adrian. When he looked at me, I could tell something was up.

"Dimitri sent you after me… didn't he?" I asked. He started to shake his head, but I placed a hand on my hip, causing him to nod.

"Alright, yeah… he did. He just wanted me to check on you. He said you were hurt." He said, walking over and taking my hands in his own. He leaned down and pressed his lips to the top of my hand, away from the bloody tissue, and I watched as the blood disappeared, and the cuts healed, until nothing was left but a small red mark along my knuckles. I sighed.

"Thank you." I said. He smirked as he released my hand.

"Anytime." He said. "Now, why are you running from Dimitri?"

"Because he's stupid." I muttered, sounding like a petulant child. Adrian chuckled.

"He didn't tell you about your mother being here, did he?"

"You knew too?" I asked.

"I just assumed you did too. I didn't know what kind of relationship you had with her. Had I known, I would have said something." He told me, and I could tell he genuinely meant it. I sighed. "Would you like to come back to my room and hang out? I can tell you're not ready to go back to yours." He said. I nodded once, and allowed him to take my arm, as we walked down the halls of court. When we walked in, I found it to be bigger than mine and Dimitri's rooms put together. I smiled.

"Shouldn't have expected anything less." I said. He laughed. He walked over to his fully stocked bar and poured himself a glass of scotch. I shook my head at him.

"Would you like something to drink?" He asked, motioning to the bar. I smirked and nodded. What better way to get back at Dimitri and my mother than by doing something they both disapprove of. He chuckled. "That's my girl." He handed me a glass, and allowed me to choose. I chose Vodka, only because it was an acquired taste that I could actually stand. I walked over and sat down on his couch.

"I'm sorry I keep using you as a crutch when people piss me off, Adrian." I said. He shrugged.

"It's okay. I don't mind if I get to spend time with you. Plus, I like to think if I ever needed you, that you'd be there for me." He said. I smiled.

"I would be." I promised. He nodded and walked over to sit down next to me.

"So, why the sour feelings towards your mother?" He asked. I sighed.

"I haven't seen her in about ten years." I told him.

"Ten?" He asked, seeming a little shocked. I nodded.

"She dropped me off at St. Vladimirs and I really haven't seen her much since. Lissa's parents took me to see her once when I was younger, cause they felt bad. Other than that, she's never made an attempt to come see me, to let me know she was alive… nothing. It's like I never meant anything to her at all." I told him. He frowned slightly.

"Little Dhampir, I'm sorry." He said. I shook my head.

"Don't apologize for her actions. They were her own. She knew what she was doing when she left me." I told him. He nodded.

"You're so strong though. Do you ever stop to think it's because she wasn't in your life? Because you didn't have someone there to baby you?" He asked.

"I know that's exactly why I am the way I am." I told him. He smiled.

"Would you trade that for a real relationship with your mother?" He asked. I paused, thinking this over, before I shook my head.

"No… I wouldn't." I told him.

"Then can you-."

"It's not the fact that I wouldn't change it, it's the fact that she didn't try. Don't you atleast have some kind of civil union with your parents?" I asked. He nodded. "I don't. I have nothing with that woman, because it's like she never existed. She wasn't ever a part of my life, and now she wants to see me, and tell me how to run my life, or boss me around like a mother would. NO. In order to be treated as my mother, you have to act like my mother first. She failed that task."

"I guess you're right. I understand." He said. "I mean… I don't, cause I haven't experienced it. I can kind of sympathize with you though. My parents and I didn't have the best relationship either. I can understand why you would be upset by it though."

"He should have told me." I said.

"He should have. You're right." By this time, my glass was empty, so Adrian took it and refilled it, handing it back to me. "He's going to kill you, you know. Dimitri or your mother one."

"They can both kiss my ass." I muttered. He chuckled and smiled brightly.

"There's my Hathaway." I rolled my eyes at him as he handed me my glass. I took a large drink of it, loving the way it washed away all the worry and anger I was feeling. I wasn't sure how long I was with Adrian, before there was a knock at the door. Adrian was in the bathroom, so like an idiot, I stumbled to the door. When I opened it, there stood Dimitri. The moment he met my eyes, he frowned. I started to slam the door, when he caught it with his hand, forcing it back open.

"You're drunk." He said.

"I'm not." I argued, stumbling slightly.

"Rose, who was at the-." He started as he came out of his room. "Oh boy." He said, not bothering to finish.

"Come on, Rose. We're going back to your room." He said, grabbing my arm. I snatched myself away, stumbling away.

"What are you going to do, take me to my mom?" I asked, harshly. He sighed.

"Rose, you're acting like a child. You're going to have to face things throughout your life that you don't want too." He said.

"Well, you shouldn't force that on me, Dimitri." I snapped at him. He recoiled slightly. "You don't know me, Dimitri. Stop pretending to understand me, and the shit I go through. You have no idea. I've grown up without parents, watched my best friend's parents die, died myself, ran away, got caught, and in the midst of all of that, I'm losing my mind. Don't act like you get it, because you don't. You don't get me, and you never will… so just give up." By the time I was done, I was lightheaded from using so much oxygen on my rant. He stood there for a second.

"I'm trying to help you, when it's obvious that you need it." He said.

"I don't need anything from you. I'm fine on my own."

"Yes, because you're proving it now." He said, smartly.

"I don't need you to help me. I don't want your help. I'll do fine on my own, because I'm strong. I'm strong regardless of all the shit I've had to deal with. I don't need you, nor do I want you, so just leave me alone." I said, almost screaming at him. He stood there, staring at me. I watched as his eyes changed slightly before he put on that guardians mask and turned walking out. I stood there, staring after him. The moment the words left my mouth, I knew I'd regret them. I stood there, staring at the now slammed shut door.

"Damn it." I muttered, running a hand through my hair. Adrian was silent behind me. I turned to look at him, and he just stared at the door, where Dimitri had been. He then looked down at me.

"What just happened?" He asked.

"I… I don't even really know." I sat down on the edge of the couch and put my head in my hands. I knew I'd just fucked everything up royally.

"It'll be alright." He said, sitting down beside me. I sighed, knowing it wouldn't be.

"Look, it's been fun, but I've got to go." I said.

"Rose, don't go yet-." He started. I shook my head.

"I've already fucked things up, Adrian. I don't need to make them worse." I turned and kissed his forehead.

"Goodnight." I said, getting up and walking out, closing the door behind me. I started across court, heading for my room, when I heard a voice. _Damn. _

"What?" I groaned.

"Where have you been? Dimitri and I have been looking for you." She scolded me.

"He found me. Can I go to my room please?" I asked, stumbling a little. She narrowed her eyes slightly.

"You're drunk."

"Now that we're done stating the obvious." I muttered, annoyed.

"You know better than this, Rosemarie."

"Goodnight Janine." I said, turning and walking away. She grabbed my wrist to try and stop me, but I yanked away, pushing her back. "Don't touch me. Don't act like you care, don't pretend to be a mother now. I told you to stay away from me, and I meant it. I'm so much better off without you in my life, Janine. I don't want anything to do with you. I have Lissa. She's all I'm ever going to need." I said.

"If you keep behaving this way, I'll see you never get her." She said. I growled, and stepped towards her. I felt darkness coursing through my veins now. This could end badly.

"You wouldn't dare."

"I'd do it if it's what's best for her." She said.

"I am what's best for her." I screamed at her.

"Not when you're doing things like this." She said, motioning to my wobbling figure. I growled.

"Stay away from me." I turned and walked away.

"Rosemarie, do not walk away from me."

"Good-bye Janine." I said, as I continued down the hall. When I got to my room, I turned and looked at Dimitri's door. I debated on knocking and apologizing, but decided not to, and walked into my room. I changed out of my uniform, and put on my PJ's and laid down. I tossed and turned, feeling exceptionally guilty for what I'd said to Dimitri. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep if I didn't apologize, so I got up, and walked out to his door. I knocked twice, and waited. I heard his feet hit the floor, and approach the door. It wasn't until I heard him coming, that I realized I had no idea what I was going to say. When the door opened, he took one look at me, and started to shut it again. I slammed my hand against it, preventing him from closing it.

"It's late… what do you want?" He asked.

"Can I talk to you?" I murmured.

"I'm listening." He said.

"Dimitri-." I said. He turned and walked away from the door, leaving it open. I followed him in, closing the door behind him. I knew this had bad idea written all over it as well, but I didn't care. "I'm sorry for what I said to you. I didn't mean it. I was upset… and tipsy. I blew up."

"It's not even important anymore, Rose. We'll be back at the estate tomorrow, and she'll be out of your hair, and this will be the past." He said. I looked down, and back up at him.

"I can't have you mad at me." I said, taking a few steps towards him.

"Rose, it doesn't matter anymore. Just go to your room, and get some sleep."

"No, don't tell me it doesn't matter, because it does. I hurt you… I saw it." I said. His head snapped up and his eyes locked on mine. "I saw the look of hurt in your eyes when I said I didn't want or need you. Don't tell me that it didn't bother you, because I'm not blind. I know you better than that. Please, don't be mad at me."

"How'd you know?" He asked.

"I saw it in your eyes. You're easy for me to read, Dimitri." I told him. "I can see past your guardian mask."

"Roza…" He murmured. My heart jumped slightly. I knew he only used that nickname when he was feeling affectionate towards me. "It… It doesn't matter anymore. It's not a big deal."

"Admit it…" I whispered.

"Admit what?"

"That what I said hurt you. I need to hear you say it." I murmured. He'd never admit to it, had it not been me asking, but I knew he would.

"It hurt me. I didn't believe it, but the fact that you said it is what made it hurt." He said. I shook my head.

"You know I need you. I wouldn't have made it through half the stuff I've been through without you, Dimitri. You know that." I said. He took a few steps forward, putting us only a few inches apart, and took my hands in his.

"I know. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about her. I should have forewarned you, and I didn't."

"It doesn't matter anymore. We'll be gone by-." I started to say, when he caught me in the web that was his eyes. I was like a moth to a flame. I was drawn into him. He leaned in first, but the moment his lips touched mine, my body was a blaze. I reached up, wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing my body to his. He grabbed the hair tie in my hair, pulling it out so he could knot his fingers into my hair. It wasn't long before I realized what was really happening, what I was doing, and what I was getting myself into. I pulled away from him, and met his dark eyes.

"Dimitri… I-."

"We can't… but I-." He started, but I shook my head. I stepped back away from him, putting some distance between the two of us.

"I need to go." I said, starting towards the door. I opened it and spared a final look at him.

"Goodnight." He called, before I shut the door. When I got back to my room, my heart was racing. It was like he'd spiked my blood. I went into the bathroom, and got a quick shower, before laying down in my bed. Even after washing my face, I could still taste him on my lips as I feel into a blissful, yet confused sleep.


	21. Away!

When I woke up the next morning, my head was killing me. I sat up, and rubbed my eyes, taking in my surroundings. It was then I realized that last night hadn't been a dream. I really was at court, with my mother. I had really gotten drunk with Adrian, and I really had made out with Dimitri. The moment the thought ran through my head, my hand instinctively moved to my lips. I sat there for a few seconds, before I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in." I called, not sure if it was such a smart thing to do. I looked up to find Dimitri.

"Did I wake you up?" He asked. I shook my head, and rubbed my eyes.

"No, you didn't. I was up."

"I was going to go to the gym, and work out. I wanted to see if you wanted to come along. Maybe train a little bit?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yeah… Just let me get dressed. You can go, and I'll meet you there." I said.

"You don't have too. I'm giving you the choice." He told me. I knew he could see the hesitance since I was hung-over, and things had gotten a little… heated between us last night.

"No, I want too. I'll be there in a few minutes." I assured him. I nodded.

"Alright." He said, before nodding once and closing my door. I rolled out of bed, not sure what I was getting myself into. I rolled out of bed, and took some aspirin, before changing and heading down to the gym. I hesitated outside the door, before opening it and walking inside. Dimitri looked up at me from the weight bench. I couldn't even imagine how much weight he'd been lifting before I walked in. It looked like over two-hundred pounds. I could only imagine the way his muscle's rippled under his shirt as-. I stopped the thought in its tracks, knowing it'd get me into trouble. Drunk or sober, I couldn't deny the attraction I had to him. He smiled at me.

"How are you feeling?"

"Hung-over." I said, simply. He nodded.

"I wonder why." He said, teasingly. I wondered why he was in such a good mood, but then again, I was pretty sure I knew exactly why. I yawned, and leaned up against the wall. "You didn't have to come down here. You could have slept. I wasn't going to make you train since we're away from the estate."

"No, I've missed enough training as it is. I needed to come down here." I said. He just nodded. "When are we leaving today?"

"Whatever time Adrian gets done with his royal meeting." He said.

"More like royal pain in the ass meeting." I muttered. This got a chuckle out of Dimitri. I smiled as the sound filled the gym. I loved the sound of his laugh, not that I'd ever admit that out loud.

"You have a royal pain in the ass too." He said.

"I know, but she's not here, being a pain in my ass right now, like Adrian is." I said. He smiled, and the frowned as if something he'd thought made him unhappy. I almost asked, but decided against it. I got on the treadmill to get my adrenaline going before I fought with Dimitri. I wasn't planning on going down today. Regardless of my hang-over, I was going to prove myself today, even more so than I did when I took him down the other day. We got the mat read, and stepped onto it.

"You ready for that ass-whoopin' I promised you comrade?"

"We'll see." He said. I laughed. We circled, before I made the first move. He blocked most of my moves. It was easy to see that he was on it today, or maybe it was just I was off of it since my head was still pounding. We went for awhile, neither one of us actually getting anywhere with the other. I knew there was only one way I was going to win this one. I knew it'd never work with a strigoi, but I knew it'd work with Dimitri. He threw a kick and caught me in the side. I winced, and pretended to be seriously hurt. I grabbed my side, and started breathing heavy, acting as if I was dying. "Oh God, Rose… I didn't-." That was my chance. I tackled him to the ground, placing my hands over his chest, before we even hit the mat. He glared up at me when he finally realized what had happened.

"That was cheating, and you know it." He said, his eyes wandering down my face to my lips and back up to my eyes.

"I know, but I knew I wouldn't lose." I said, getting up. He chuckled. I offered him my hand, but before I knew it, I was pulled down and rolled over onto. I growled as I realized what I'd just left myself open for.

"You're an asshole." I muttered. He smirked.

"It's not over till I say it's over." He said. I rolled my eyes, and pushed him off me. We stood up, and took our places before going around again. We threw a lot of hits, and he even took me to the ground, but I managed to get out from under him and back to my feet. At one point, I ended up being on the side facing towards the door, when I saw someone out of the corner of my eye and froze when I saw who it was. _Janine. _Dimitri halted his attack when he saw me freeze.

"Don't mind me, I'm just observing." She said.

"Yeah, it's time for me to go. I'm going to go see if Adrian's done." I said, walking for the door.

"They're not. I've already been to check." I cussed under my breath. "You're good, Rose."

"I know." I answered simply.

"She's improved immensely since she came to the estate." Dimitri told her. She nodded at him, and her eyes fell back on me.

"Would you mind practicing with me? Just once." She asked.

"I'm leaving." I said.

"Rose, don't-." Dimitri called. "Just once… it's all she's asking of you." He said. I met his gaze for a second. He was pleading with me with his eyes. I didn't want to say no, because I could see he really wanted me to do this. I looked down and back up at him, trying to convey what I was feeling through my eyes, so he'd know.

"I'm sorry… but no. I can't." I said, before walking out. One of them called after me, but I kept walking. I wasn't sure where I was going now that I didn't have Adrian to fall back on, but I kept walking regardless. I knew they'd come looking for me in my room, so that was the last place I was going to go hide. As I walked down the halls, I stumbled across a glass door, leading outside to a deck overlooking the horizon. I walked out, jumping up on the railing, swinging my legs over. I sat there for the longest time, thinking about my mother, about Dimitri, about our two stolen kisses, about the way he looked at me, about the way I felt about him. So many things were coursing through my mind. I didn't know how to separate it all. I finally gave up trying to sort through any of it, and just focused on the sounds around me, the flowing water from the lake, the crickets, the soft wind that would blow. I hadn't heard the door open behind me, but I figured it was only a matter of time till one of them found me.

"You're not going to jump are you?" He asked. I would have landed in the water, and it wouldn't have hurt that bad, but nonetheless, I wasn't going too.

"Only if you'd jump in to save me." I whispered softly, not turning around.

"I would…. Without a doubt." His answer made my heart swell. "Are you alright?" He finally asked. I turned to look at him.

"I'll live. I just… I just need to get out of here… away from her."

"She was hurt when you walked out, although she'd never admit that to you." He said.

"Karma is a bigger bitch than I'll ever be." I whispered, looking down. Why did I suddenly feel guilty? _NO! _I was not supposed to feel this way about the woman who left me for ten years.

"Roza… you know that-."

"Don't… Just, can we drop it please? We'll be leaving soon, and it won't be a problem anymore." I said, climbing back over the rail. He nodded.

"Are you sure you're going to be able to leave on these terms with your mother?"

"I'll be fine once I get away from here." I whispered.

"Is this really how you want your relationship with your mother to be for the rest of your life? Constant fighting, and hurt? That's not a relationship, Rose."

"I don't want a relationship with her, and she doesn't want one with me. Don't let her feed you that line of shit about how she was working, and didn't have time. Ten years, Dimitri… Ten years she didn't take time to pick up the phone, to take a trip… One trip, would have been all it took to satisfy me, but no… I wasn't even worth that much to her. If I don't mean anything to you, tell me… don't let me sit around dwelling on the fact that you left me for ten damn years. When I got back to the academy, you know what I got? A note… a fucking note. I could have been dead for all she knew." I said. My rant had ended more like a plea than anything else, and before I knew it, angry tears were streaming down my face. He took a few steps forward, as if he were going to hug me, but then stopped, not sure whether it was a good idea or not. "I don't understand how I can mean that little to someone." I guess he gave up, because he finally pulled me into his arms, and held me against his chest.

"I'm sorry, Roza. I'm so sorry." He whispered into my hair. I shook my head.

"She wasn't a part of my life then, because she chose not to be. Now, I don't want to be a part of her life because I choose not to be." I told him. He just nodded and held me. In that moment, it was all I really needed. A few minutes later, the door opened and we both turned to find Adrian. He frowned when he saw the wet marks on my face, and probably the colors of sadness in my aura.

"Is everything alright?" He asked, walking out towards me. I nodded.

"I'm fine… just had a moment."

"Are you sure, your aura-." I cut him off with a fake smile and a nod.

"I'm fine, I promise." I said.

"I'm done, so we can go when you're ready." I turned to Dimitri.

"You're ready now?" He asked. I nodded. He smiled. "I'll arrange the flight. Adrian, will you walk Rose back to her room, please."

"Of course I will." He said. Dimitri then disappeared. Adrian turned to me, and wiped one of the few stray tears off my cheek.

"Are you sure you're alright, Rose?"

"I'm fine. I just have a moment. I'm fine now… I just needed to vent a little." I said. He nodded and offered me his arm as he escorted me back to my room. I grabbed my bags, and carried them to the lobby leading out onto the runway. I sat there in a chair, as I waited for Dimitri to show up with Adrian. When they both showed up, Adrian smiled at me.

"So, Rose… I'm going to be staying here for a few extra days." He said. I just nodded. I automatically assumed that I'd be staying too, but I wasn't going to freak out about it, I mean… how much worse could it get?

"We're not staying though. I've got a court guardian looking out for him till he returns to the estate, which you don't have to do by the way." He said. I could tell Dimitri was kinda of hoping he'd turn down coming back.

"No, I'll be back. I just wanna stay here a few more days. You guys enjoy your flight." He walked over, and pulled me up out of my chair to hug me. He kissed my forehead, and smiled when he pulled away.

"Behave, Little Dhampir." He said.

"Come on, Rose." Dimitri said, motioning to the door. I nodded and picked up my bags, following him onto the plane. When we got on and settled in, I felt emotionally and physically drained. Halfway back to the airport, he turned to me. "You've been quiet."

"I know." I murmured.

"What are you thinking?"

"That I'm on the verge of losing it." I muttered, turning to him and smiling. He chuckled slightly.

"You're going to be fine."

"Will I be?" I asked, turning to him. He nodded.

"I promise." I shook my head.

"Don't… don't say stuff like that. You can't keep that promise, and you know it." I told him. He looked away and back at me.

"But I know you'll make it through this… your strong." He said.

"I thought I was going to hit my mother last night." I told him. Last night, when she grabbed me, I'd been on the verge of losing it. I almost did. If she wouldn't have let me walk away the second time, she would have walked away with a black eye.

"You saw her last night after our run-in?"

"I did. She threatened to have them take Lissa away from me. I tried to walk away and she grabbed me. I almost snapped on her, Dimitri. What would I have done if I'd have hurt her? I told you… I'm not sane. I could snap and hurt anyone. How am I supposed to live like this?" I asked him.

"You have to take it day by day, Rose."

"And I'm supposed to do that forever. Live my life never knowing when I could snap and hurt someone." I told him.

"You'll get through this. You didn't hurt anyone, and that's what counts. You haven't hurt anyone." He said. I shook my head.

"That's not the point." I said, jumping up.

"Rose… don't-." He started. I shook my head.

"I need a minute." I muttered, walking away. He stood up, placing a hand on my arm, not trying to stop me, but giving me the option to keep walking.

"Don't walk away… talk to me." I turned back to meet his dark brown eyes.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, before walking to the back of the plane and taking a seat. He stood there for a couple seconds, before returning to his seat. I curled up in the back, and closed my eyes, hoping we'd be back at the estate when I opened my eyes, and I didn't have to worry about the three hour car ride alone with him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I'm glad to see that some of you, well... most of you are catching on. I've gotten a lot of reviews and messages talking about how the roles in this story have switched from the way the were in the book. Dimitri going in for kisses, Rose being the one that's more hesitant on the relationship, and everything. That's exactly where I was trying to go with this, and you're feedback has let me know that I did just that. That makes me extremely happy. Those were my intentions. I love flipping characters personalities, but still making them there own. Anyway, hope you enjoyed. :)


	22. Nothing!

When we arrived at the airport, I took my sweet time getting the van. I stopped in the airport to use the bathroom, and freshen up. I grabbed something to eat, and slowly made my way to where I knew Dimitri would be waiting. I wasn't in any hurry to get into a van… alone… with him. When we finally reached the parking garage, he unlocked the door and opened it for me. I threw my stuff in the back and settled in the passenger's seat as he walked around and got in. We hadn't spoken anymore since we got off the plane, so the silence between us was really awkward. Finally, he spoke.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No." I answered simply. He turned to me, before looking back at the road.

"Are you lying to me?" He asked.

"I'm not mad at you, Dimitri." I told him. I honestly wasn't. I was just in a mood now, where I didn't want to listen to any kind of reason, or logic. I wanted to feel the way I felt, because I needed to feel like myself. I needed to feel normal, and with what seems to be all the darkness stirring within me, I haven't really felt like me. I knew being stubborn and not listening to reason was the most quick and easy way for me to feel like myself…since, well… I was stubborn.

"Are you alright?" He finally asked.

"I'm fine." I answered simply. He just nodded. The van fell silent once again; as he turned the radio on to drown out the awkwardness the silence was screaming at us.

"We need to talk." He finally said.

"What about?" I asked, never looking at him. I kept my eyes out the window.

"What happened last night." I knew instantly what he was talking about. _The kiss. _My blood ran cold. This wasn't something I ever wanted to discuss with him. This was truly taking a turn for the worst. It was bad enough that I felt this way about him, but having to discuss an awkward and drunken-well, drunken for me-kiss wasn't something I wanted to do.

"Why do we need to talk about it?" I murmured, hoping I could get him off this topic quick.

"Because Rose… you know that-."

"Don't start explaining how we can't have anything like that, Dimitri. Do you think I'm not aware of that, do you think I don't know that we couldn't ever have a relationship?" I said.

"Rose… you have to understand that I want-." I shook my head.

"I don't want to talk about this." I said, cutting him off.

"Roza… just-."

"Stop… Dimitri, don't make it worse than it is. Don't make it harder than it already is." I said. I felt his eyes on me, but I wouldn't look at him. "All of this… has been a mistake."

"Rose, don't say that." He said. I knew the only way to get this out of the way was to make it seem like I didn't want to deal with it anymore, like even trying, or giving in to those feelings was wrong, a mistake. He was seven years older than me… I mean, that was reason enough for this to be wrong, wasn't it.

"Let it go… Dimitri."

"I won't. I can't pretend that I don't-." He started. I finally turned to him, and looked him dead in the eye, knowing I could end it with only a few words.

"This was a mistake. Trying… or even letting this happen was stupid. We were stupid. Let it go." I said, simply. He fell silent for a few seconds, completely stunned by my words. I didn't know what to say, so I remained staring out the window. We pulled over to get gas, so I jumped out, going into the store to get a drink. Before I could even get away from the van, Dimitri grabbed me and pinned me to the van, his body pressed to mine. I knew what he was trying to do, and I knew it would work if I let myself want him.

"Look me in the eye right now, and tell me that you don't want me. That you don't… feel something, anything for me." He said. I knew this was the moment, this was where I could really end this. I knew I didn't want too. I knew I wanted to curl myself up in his arms, and never leave. He meant more to me than I ever really expected him too, although I'd never admit that to anyone. I looked up and met his eyes, not sure if I could do it. My heart dropped into my stomach when I opened my mouth to speak.

"I don't feel anything for you." I said, my voice hard. His hands slid off my shoulders and fell limply at his sides. "I'm sorry." I stepped away from him and went into the store to get a drink and some chips. When I walked back out, he was already back in the van waiting for me. To be quite honest, I sort of expected him to leave me here after what just happened. I knew better though. I got into the van, and he sped off, heading towards the estate. I could tell he was antsy and ready to get out of the van. So was I, because the awkward silence that hung in the van. I gave up trying to make conversation, because I knew he wouldn't talk to me if I tried, so instead… I closed my eyes and carefully and cautiously slipped into Lissa's head. She was in class, doodling on a piece of paper. I knew I owed her a phone call when I got home, due to the fact that one: she'd had sex with Ozera, and two: I wanted to ask how the medicine was working for her. I didn't really want the details on the first one seeing as how I pretty much experienced it for myself. I shivered as I remember. She looked and felt pretty content which was definitely a good time. I wished I could say the same, but everything I was dealing with now, I'd brought on myself, and I knew that. When I opened my eyes, we were pulling into the estates driveway. _Thank God. _When he stopped the van, we grabbed our stuff out of the back, and started towards the door, Dimitri ahead of me.

"Dimitri…. Wait—." I started. He turned to me, but wouldn't look at me. He knew I'd be able to see whatever it was he was feeling, and I knew it was some sort of pain, anguish, or anger.

"I'm tired, Rose… I just want to go shower and sleep." He said, turning away from me. I started to speak, but knew he wasn't going to acknowledge or answer. Instead, I picked up my bags and followed him inside. When I walked in, Landon was standing in the main room, smiling.

"Hey there, Hathaway. I've missed you." I smiled at him the best I could.

"I've missed you too." I said, hugging him.

"How was your trip? I heard you had to accompany Adrian back to court."

"It was… interesting to say the least." I said, not really sure how to describe it.

"I'm glad to have you back. Guardian Young said that sometime in the next week, we're going to be starting to fight and work with the other novices, and I really wanna work with you. I know how good you are, and it would be an honor to train with you." He said. I felt my face flush a little.

"That's really sweet, Landon. I'd love to train with you. I just have to see if Guardian Belikov is planning on doing the same thing for me. He might have something different planned."

"I hope not." He said. I sighed, knowing that practice was going to be really weird now.

"Me too." I murmured. "I'm gonna go put my stuff up in my room. I'll see you around, Landon." He nodded.

"Later Rose." He said, as I walked up the stairs. I threw my bag on the floor and plopped down face first on my bed. I'd screwed up really bad. I'd lied to Dimitri over and over again… but I couldn't, we couldn't, and we both knew that. Even here, away from the rest of the moroi and dhampir world, there couldn't be anything between us, no matter how much either of us wished otherwise. I wanted him, and there wasn't any denying. He'd been here for me when I thought I was alone. He is gorgeous, and moral, and amazing and everything I wished I was, but… we were from two separate worlds, and that meant something in our society. There wasn't anything we could do to fight it. We couldn't ever be together, no matter how much we really wanted one another. I got a quick shower, and headed downstairs to get something to eat. I sat down at the table with a sandwich, and ate. I heard the door open, and looked up to find Dimitri walk in, covered in sweat. He took one look at me, and kept walking. When he reached for the doorknob of his door, I saw that his hands were all bloody and mangled. I stood up.

"Dimitri… what did you-?" He turned back to me once, and looked back down, walked into his room, closing the door behind him. I stood there, debating on busting his door down, but it was then I realized that I was probably the reason for whatever he'd done, and then… I thoroughly felt like shit. I sat back down and ran my hands through my hair. It wasn't long before Guardian Castille came in.

"Hey… Rose, have you seen Dimitri?" He asked. I debated on telling him he was in his room, but from the looks of Dimitri when I'd seen him, he didn't want to be disturbed.

"No, I haven't seen him since we got back, why?"

"I need to talk to him about some things the other guardians and I want to do, so I need to talk to him." He said. I shrugged.

"Haven't seen him… Sorry." I told him. He nodded and walked out. I stared at Dimitri's door, debating for the longest time, whether I should go check on him or not. There weren't words to describe how bad I wanted to, but I knew I couldn't. I'd lost my appetite, so half my sandwich remained on my plate. I didn't know what to do at this point, so I threw my plate and uneaten sandwich away. A few minutes later, Landon came around the corner all smiles. He obviously caught onto my mood, and frowned.

"Hey… you look… angry?" He said, but asking it like a question.

"I'm fine."

"You wanna talk about it?" He asked, walking over and sitting down across from me. I shook my head.

"I can't." I finally said.

"You can trust me, you know." He told me, letting his soft green eyes fall on me. He reached across the table and laid his hand over mine. "I'm here for you, you know that." I gave him a smile, and nodded.

"I do trust you, and I know… it's just not something I wanna talk about." I told him.

"Okay. I understand." He said, slowly removing his hand from mine.

"Are you hungry?" He asked, getting up to look through the cabinets. I shook my head.

"No, I already ate. Thanks." He nodded and grabbed a pack of crackers and sat down.

"Did you train at Court at all?" He asked.

"A little… not much though." I said, remembering my mother interrupting. I must have had a change in facial features, because he gave me a look.

"What?"

"Nothing… just remembering something from court." I told him.

"Something upsetting obviously by the look on your face." He said, shoving another cracker into his mouth.

"It was just my mother. It isn't a big deal. She's-. I just haven't seen her in a long time." I said, shaking my head. He raised an eyebrow.

"I'm guessing it didn't go too well?" He asked.

"Not exactly."

"That bad huh?" He asked. I nodded. He frowned. "I'm sorry, hun." He said.

"Not your fault. Look… I think I'm just gonna go upstairs and mope a little bit. I'll see you around." I said.

"Hey… Why don't you come back to my room with me, and hang out? We'll watch movies or something. I don't wanna think of you hulled up in your room all mopey and depressed." He said.

"You don't have to do that… I'm just gonna-." He cut me off.

"No… I want too. Come on." He said, standing up. I nodded and allowed him to lead me to his room. When we got inside, he smiled. "Make yourself at home, of course." I plopped down on his bed, and curled up in the corner. He smiled.

"So, Ms. Hathaway, what would you like to watch?" He asked. I shrugged.

"I don't care. Whatever is fine." I told him. He nodded and picked up Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I laughed at his choice of movie, but he put it in regardless. We curled up in his bed, and laughed. I felt myself getting sleepy after being with Dimitri all day, and having to deal with everything on top of it, I was just drained. I scooted over to Landon and laid down beside him, laying my head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me.

"You alright?" He murmured.

"I'm fine." I assured him. I sighed. "This doesn't bother you, does it?"

"Not at all." He promised, chuckling. I smiled. Before I knew it, I'd fallen asleep in his arms, and to be quite honest, it was the best sleep I'd gotten in awhile. It wasn't long before I felt Adrian invading my dream. When he became visible, I sighed.

"I shouldn't have expected anything less."

"What, I missed you Hathaway." He said. I rolled my eyes. "How was the flight and ride home without me?"

"It was great." I muttered. He raised an eyebrow.

"That didn't sound sarcastic at all." He said. I smiled.

"When are you coming back?"

"Awe, do you miss me too?" He asked.

"No… I need to know when to hide." I told him, snarkily. He sighed. I chuckled at his face.

"I'll be back tomorrow." He muttered.

"Thanks for the heads up." He ended the dream, allowing me to fall back into my own. I snuggled up closer to Landon and fell deeper into my own dreams.


	23. Hand In Hand!

When I woke up the next morning, it was to the sound of an alarm clock, although… it wasn't my alarm clock. My alarm clock was this ridiculous beeping and screeching sound, but the alarm clock I was hearing now was the radio, playing some ridiculously loud rock song. I opened my eyes and realized that I'd fallen asleep with Landon. He groaned and shifted slightly, obviously realizing that I was holding him down. He opened his eyes and chuckled.

"Well hello there." He said. I smiled as I looked up at him. I couldn't deny it, hearing his voice thick with sleep, was probably one of the most sexiest things I'd ever heard, beside… well, nevermind.

"Morning."

"I didn't even realize I feel asleep." He told me. I sat up, and ran a hand through my hair.

"Me either." I groaned and stretched. "I've got to go. Dimitri's going to be pissed." It was then I realized how awkward today was really going to be. I rolled out of his bed, as he sat up.

"I'm sorry that I'm probably going to get you into trouble." I shrugged.

"It's not a big deal. Thank you for last night, Landon." He smiled.

"It was a pleasure, I assure you." He said. I sighed, and walked out, heading upstairs to my room. I quickly changed and threw my hair up in a pony tail, before heading towards the back door. I hesitated for a second, before walking out, not sure what I was walking into. When I opened the door, I found Dimitri sitting on the sidewalk, with the mat already out and ready. He looked up, his guardian mask on, and in full swing.

"You're late."

"I know, I'm sorry… I didn't hear my alarm go off." I said, simply. He just nodded once, and stood up.

"We're doing something different today…I don't know if you've heard-." He started. I completely zoned out, focused on how horrible his hands looked. They were wrapped and bandaged, but even through that I could see the extent of the injuries. I walked forward, not even really sure what I was doing, and grabbed his hand.

"What did you do?" I asked, completely ignoring and disregarding everything he'd just said.

"It's nothing." He said, trying to pull away from me. I tightened my grip, not letting him pull from my grip.

"Don't tell me it's nothing. It's definitely something. How did you do this?" I demanded.

"Rose…. Let it go." He said, harshly, pulling his hands away from me. I stared at him for a second, as his mask wavered, before I frowned and looked away.

"You're an idiot." I muttered.

"What was that?" He asked. I shook my head. "Anyway, like I was saying, we're going to be pairing you up with other novices, and having you put what you know to the test."

"Okay." I muttered, not in a good mood now. Guardian Young came through the door first, followed by Landon. I smiled, wondering how he'd managed to talk them into it. Regardless, I didn't care. He grinned at me.

"Hey Hathaway… long time no see." He teased. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Ready to get your ass whooped again?"

"We'll see about that." He said. "I've gotten better. Guardian Young isn't the worst mentor in the world."

"Watch it, Landon." Guardian Young muttered. I laughed. Dimitri didn't seem to be in such high spirits anymore, just as I figured he wouldn't be.

"Whenever you guys are ready." Dimitri said, voice hard. I turned and looked at him for a moment, before turning back to Landon. This was going to be fun, and I wasn't going to let my feelings, or Dimitri's pissy mood ruin this. I stepped onto the mat, and smiled. Landon did the same.

"I'm about to make a girl cry." He said, crouching down.

"In your dreams."

"No, in my dreams I make you cry for different reasons." He said, winking at me. My mouth fell open, causing him to laugh. I crouched down.

"That's it." I murmured, before lunging at him. He dodged me, but I caught him before he could turn and stage an attack on me, throwing most of my weight at him. He managed to stay on his feet. I threw a few punches and kicks, landing a few on him. He blocked a lot of them though. He landed a good kick to my thigh, which hurt pretty bad. It almost caused me to hit the ground, but not quite. He didn't kick me that hard. To be quite honest, I think he was holding back on me a little, as if he didn't want to hurt me. I finally faked a move to the right, and kicked his legs out from under him. I twisted back around, and launched myself on top of him, holding him down. I fought with his hand, trying to force them away, but he was quick. He had speed more than strength, so I had to give it my all. I hit him one time, and forced his hand away, and laid them over his heart. I placed my face a few centimeters from his, and smirked.

"Dead." I whispered, a seductive hint to my voice. He laid there, dazed for a second, as I stood up.

"What just happened?"

"Not only am I a novice… I'm a ninja." I told him. He growled as he sat up.

"Whatever." He muttered, smiling. I laughed as he stood.

"How was that?"I asked. Guardian Young nodded approvingly. Dimitri just stared.

"It was good. She's progressed a lot since we saw you on introduction day." He said. He turned to Dimitri. "You're going an awesome job, Belikov."

"Thank you." Dimitri said, nodding once. I smiled at him.

"Guardian Belikov is a good mentor. He's taught me a lot." I said. Dimitri caught my eye for a second, and I got a half-smile out of him. I looked back to Landon.

"You've gotten a lot better though. You're freakin' fast."

"I know. I use my speed to my advantage." He said. I heard the double-meaning behind that, and when he winked at me, I knew he was right. I rolled my eyes.

"Wanna go again?" I asked. He nodded.

"Let's do it." We stepped back onto the mat, and went another round. He now knew that his speed was his biggest ally, so he used it on me frequently. I had trouble catching him and blocking him when I didn't have time. I finally gave up on defense and went strictly offense. He may have been able to block most of my hits, but the ones he missed were hard and powerful, and wore him down quick. It wasn't long before he got tired of it, and took me to the mat. I wasn't about to go down this easy. I rolled our weight, putting me on top of him, but he quickly shifted, rolling us over again, until we ended up being on the track and off the mat. Before I could roll us again, he placed his hands over my chest. He sat there for a second, staring down into my eyes.

"I did it." I smirked up at him.

"Ass hole."

"I never thought I'd actually be able to take you down." He said. I laughed.

"Most people can't, do congratulations." I said, patting the side of his face. He jumped up, offering me his hand. I knew this was my chance. I took his hand, and forced my weight to the ground, throwing him to the mat, and climbing over him, and placing my hands over his heart. "Don't ever let your guard down." I teased.

"Damn it, Rose." He muttered. I laughed, and stood up. I looked at Guardian Young who was obviously enjoying watching us. Dimitri just looked like he didn't know whether to cry, or be happy that I was doing so well. We sat around outside, and I showed Landon some stuff that Dimitri had taught me, and Guardian Young helped me a little bit too. Dimitri talked to Landon a little bit, but I couldn't help but notice the sneer in his voice with just about everything he said. It was obvious to see that Dimitri didn't really care too much for Landon, probably because of the relationship Landon and I had built. He was one of my only friends here, and we were sort of close. I think Dimitri sensed that and it made him jealous, although it made me feel like shit to know he was jealous. I finally sat down on the sidewalk.

"We can call it a day." Guardian Young said. "You guys did awesome." He helped Dimitri with the mat, and carrying it inside, while Landon and I sat on the sidewalk.

"Today was fun. I'm glad they decided to do this."

"Me too. It's always fun kicking your ass." I said.

"You only kicked my ass once."

"Well, three times. Two today, and once before."

"You only beat me once…" I shook my head, causing him to narrow his eyes. "That shouldn't even count. You cheated."

"I thought it was fair. You lowered your guard. That was your fault, not mine." I told him. He rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." He muttered. We got up, and headed back into the house. The moment we walked in, Adrian walked through the front door. He smiled at me.

"Little Dhampir… miss me?"

"Oh so much." I said, feigning excitement. He walked over and hugged me.

"I know, I know. I'm here now." He said. I pushed him and rolled my eyes. Landon laughed at our friendly banter. He turned to me.

"I'm going to get a shower. I'll see you later?" Landon asked. I nodded, before he disappeared.

"Oooh. What's going on with you two?" He asked.

"Nothing… why?"

"Your aura says different." He accused. I rolled my eyes.

"What does it say?" I asked

"Oh, you mean besides the fact that you're crazy?" He asked.

"Fuck you, Adrian." I said.

"Well, if you really want too… I'm not going to turn you down." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"And that's my que to leave." I said.

"No… Rose, I was kidding. You asked me a question; I was going to answer it… Jeez. You feel something for that kid. Your aura was a light pink color, which usually means adoration of some sort." He said. I looked down, and back up at him.

"I don't really know." I said, honestly. He just smiled. "What color is it when I'm around you?"

"Red…which is completely and totally turned on and intoxicated by my presence." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm done talk to you, Ivashkov. I'm out of here."

"But Little Dhampir…." He called as I walked away. I shook my head as I headed upstairs and into my room. I got a quick shower, and laid down in my bed. I was thinking about what Adrian had said about Landon. Maybe I did feel something for him. After the whole thing with Dimitri, I wasn't sure what I felt anymore. I knew I had feelings for Dimitri too, but I knew there was nothing I could do with them. We were forbidden to be together, and it was just that simple. As much as we wished different, it just couldn't happen. Landon and I on the other hand weren't forbidden. He was cute, and funny, and sweet, and took care of me pretty well. Maybe if I couldn't have something with Dimitri, I could have something with Landon. I mean, Dimitri would want that for me, right? For me to be happy with someone, even if it wasn't him? I think… I mean… I'm sure I'd want the same for him if the situation were reversed. I sighed, hating how I didn't really know what to do. It wasn't long before there was a knock at my door.

"Come in." I called. The door opened, and Landon stepped in. I smiled at him. "Hey there."

"Hey… whatcha doing?" He asked.

"Just resting… I'm drained."

"Did I wear you out?" He asked, wagging his eyebrows at me. I threw a pillow at him.

"Shut up." I muttered. He laughed and walked over to my bed, and laid down beside me. I smiled. "What made you come up here?" I asked.

"Boredom, curiosity, and… I kinda wanted to talk to you."

"About what?" I asked. I had a feeling; I knew where this was going. When his faced flushed red, I knew I'd been right.

"I…. I like you, Rose." He said. I smiled down at him, and how naive he sounded. It was quite adorable. When I didn't say anything, he continued. "I mean… I really like you. You're cool, and drop dead gorgeous and I love spending time with you."

"Landon…" I said, softly.

"I understand if you don't feel the same. I mean I know you've got guys waiting in line for you back at your academy, and that Ivashkov guy seems pretty into you. I just wanted to let you know, because I was tired of hiding it." He said. I smiled.

"In line?" I asked. He nodded, and smirked. "You're close, but not quite."

"Regardless, I was tired of pretending that I didn't feel something for you."

"I like you too." I said suddenly.

"You do?" He asked, his face lighting up.

"I do..." I said, regardless of the fact that I didn't know what I was getting myself into.

"You mean it?" I nodded. He smiled, obviously not really knowing what to say.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out." I lied, smoothly.

"It's not a big deal." He said, letting his big green eyes rest on my face. He looked down for a second, and back up at me. "I… I want to kiss you." He said, sounding so young. He sat up, and leaned forward, touching my face gently. I waited on him, seeing if he was really going to do it. He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine. They were soft and warm. They were welcoming, just like Dimitri's had been. Was it bad that I was comparing kissing Landon to Kissing Dimitri? It was definitely bad, right? I figured as much. Regardless, I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, as I slowly opened myself up a little more and more, until we were both pressed up against each other. I pulled away and smiled down at him. His eyes remained closed, causing me to giggle slightly.

"You're an angel… aren't you?" He asked, finally opening his eyes. I smirked.

"Hmmm… I've never been compared to an angel before. Usually it's the devil… or… well, there are other things I've been compared too, but nothing we should speak of." I told him. He chuckled.

"You're something else, Rose."

"Yeah, I've heard that before." I said. He smiled and laid his head on my chest, cuddled up close to me. I thought it would have been awkward, but it wasn't. I actually enjoyed being in Landon's presence. We laid there for awhile, before my stomach growled, causing him to chuckle.

"Hungry?" He asked.

"A little."

"Come on, we'll get something to eat." He said, standing up, and pulling me up. We walked down to the kitchen, and I made us both a sandwich, and we sat down at the table to eat. There was a comfortable silence, that neither of us really wanted to break. I ended up breaking it when I told him I wanted to go outside. He followed, and we ended up walking the track, hand in hand. It wasn't long after that, that I was sucked into Lissa's head. _Shit. _


	24. I Want!

Lissa was just sitting in her room, so I didn't understand what was happening. It was then the darkness hit me. It was hers, not mine. I didn't understand. The medicine should have been controlling this. Then, I felt this sense of relief wash over her. Automatically, my eyes flew to her hands and wrists, but there were no bloody cuts or marks on her. She hadn't resorted back to that. I searched through her head, looking for what might be causing this, and that's when I found it. She'd stopped taking the medicine and thrown the rest of them away. _God damn it. _I tried screaming loud enough for her to hear me, but I knew it wouldn't work. That's when Landon pulled me abruptly out of her head.

"Rose, what's wrong? What is it?" He asked. I shook my head, violently, becoming my own person again.

"Nothing… nothing. I need to go."

"Wait… Where are you going?" He called after me. I sighed, remembering he didn't know about Lissa and I.

"I'll tell you later. I promise." I said. I ran inside to Dimitri's room, and beat on his door. When he opened it, his guardian mask slid over his face.

"I need you to take me to the academy. It's Lissa…" I said. He stood there for a second, staring at me, before he spoke.

"We'll call the academy and have them deal with it." He said.

"No, Dimitri… She needs me."

"You're here, they are all there. It's not your problem." I could see what he was doing here. I could see what he was doing to me.

"No… You're going to take me to her." I said.

"I'm not."

"Dimitri, stop this. I know you're upset with me, but don't let that affect Lissa. Be upset with me; don't let her suffer for it. You can't let this get in the way of your duty. She's being reckless and stupid. If you don't take me, I'll go by myself."

"You're going to walk?" He asked.

"I'll drive." I said, simply.

"With what keys?" I pulled the spare he'd given me on our trip out of my pocket.

"I don't have time for this. It's easy to see I can't depend on you anymore. It's funny I had more faith in you than you deserve. I'm going." I said, turning away from him. I was already out the front door when he called after me. I kept walking, not stopping. I didn't have time for him and his childish games. Wasn't he the older one? Shouldn't I be the one throwing fits and acting like I was five?

"Rose, wait?" He asked, running out the door after me. I wasn't going to lie. It hurt me that he wasn't going to help me. He was going to let not just me, but Lissa suffer.

"No, I don't have time for waiting." I snapped at him.

"I'm going with you."

"How heroic of you to change your mind." I muttered, walking to the passenger's side of the van and getting in. I didn't say another word to him as he drove. When we reached the gates, and the guardians opened them, I started for her dorm room where I knew she was. The sun was peaking over the horizon, so most people should be asleep. Lissa wasn't. When I reached her door, I busted in, not caring about knocking.

"Rose?" She said, when she looked up.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I demanded.

"What are you talking about?" She asked. I walked over to the garbage can and reached in about the time Dimitri walked through the door, pulling out the bottle of pills.

"Are you out of your mind? Do you want to go back to cutting? Bleeding all over the place, feeling like you're crazy?" I demanded. I was screaming at her at this point, but I knew it wasn't completely her I was mad at. It was Dimitri. It was myself. It was Landon. It was everyone.

"You don't understand, Rose."

"No, Lissa… I don't understand. Please, make me understand, because I'm not here to protect you. I can't come running every time something is wrong. You stop taking these, and you're going to hurt yourself again, or worse." I said.

"You don't know what it's like being blocked from my magic. It would be like telling a human not to breathe. It's hard. Whether I use it all the time or not is irrelevant. I can't feel it anymore. I feel too human. I feel like I'm nothing without it, Rose. I can't take being bottled up on those things anymore." She said. I could tell by her face she was upset I'd yelled at her, but I continued in on her, regardless… taking all of my frustration out on her.

"You're being childish, and stupid. You're not letting me take care of you. This is what's best for you, Lissa." I said, holding up the bottle.

"It's not, even Adrian agree-." I cut her off.

"Who?"

"Adrian Ivashkov came to see me. He told me a lot about spirit, and convinced me that there were other ways I could deal besides those dreadful things." She said, motioning to the bottle. I should have known that boy was up to no good.

"Damn it, Lissa." I groaned. "He's impulsive and an alcoholic and he doesn't know what's good for you. He's an idiot."

"He understands." She snapped at me. I threw the bottle of pills against the wall, breaking the bottle and pills flying everywhere. I started towards her, not with the intent to hurt her, but the intent to knock some sense into her when Dimitri wrapped a strong arm around my waist and pulled me back.

"No… Let me go." I yelled.

"Dimitri, what's wrong with her?"

"She'll be fine, Princess. Just give her a minute to cool down." He said, trying to lead my outside. I kept trying to break away, but I knew it wouldn't do me any good. He was stronger than me, and I knew that. When he got me outside into the crisp morning air, I shook my head.

"She's being an idiot. Why doesn't anyone see that I'm trying to do what's best for them? Why doesn't anybody fucking listen?" I snapped, talking mostly to myself. I turned and smashed my fist against the brick building. It hurt, but it felt good all at the same time.

"She's grown. She can make her own decisions, Rose. You've got to let her."

"Her decisions are going to drive her to kill herself, Dimitri. I cannot and I will not have that. I can't lose her." I said, sharply. I threw my fist against the wall again, trying to calm myself. Dimitri finally grabbed me before I could do it again.

"Stop, Rose." He said.

"No… Just let me-." He cut me off by placing a hand over my mouth.

"You know it's not her your really angry at. It's not her you're yelling at." He said.

"What?" I asked.

"It's me. You're yelling at me. You're angry with me."

"She's just-." I started again, but he took my face in his hands and held me still.

"Rose, listen to me… You need to calm yourself."

"She's going to hurt herself again, Dimitri. She's being reckless." I snapped.

"You're being reckless. You need to get yourself back in control, Roza." He said.

"I am in control." I said, pushing him away. The best thing for him was to not be so close.

"Yes, because you pushing and screaming is completely in control." He muttered.

"Do not mock me, Dimitri."

"I'm not doing anything but stating facts." He said.

"Damn it, stop it." I screamed. I knew I wasn't in control. I started to throw another punch at the wall, when he grabbed me, and stopped me, pinning me against it.

"Stop." I screamed. I pushed him away. "I'm in control, and I don't give a fuck that you say otherwise."

"Roza…. Calm down. It's not good for people to see you like this, especially Lissa." He said.

"Don't tell me what is and isn't good. I've made a scene and a name for myself here since I was dropped off by my mother that you so buoyantly think I need to have a relationship with. No, I could really care less what anyone else here thinks. It's that simple." I snapped. I turned to go back to Lissa when he grabbed me, pulling my face to his. Not to kiss me, or anything like that, but to make his words more affective, and to let me know he meant it.

"I felt you needed a relationship with your mother, because you have no guidance in your life, other than me, Rose. I didn't want to have to feel that pressure, but it looks like now I have no choice. Rose… I did it for you, not to piss you off. I want you to listen to me… okay. It's me your mad at. Not Lissa, not your mother, not Adrian, not any of them. It's me, alright. I need you to bring yourself out of this. It's the darkness."

"It's not." I snapped.

"Roza." He said, softly, moving a piece of hair out of my face. With that one word full of so much emotion, it took all the fight from my body. I watched as his eyes traveled down my face to my lips, and back up to meet my eyes.

"Dimitri?" I murmured.

"Hey… you're okay. It's over now." He said.

"I… I lost it again, didn't I?"

"You're fine now." He said, moving a piece of hair out of my face. I just nodded. He released me, when Lissa walked out.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"Nothing… I was just having a moment. I'm fine." I assured her, never taking my eyes off Dimitri.

"Rose… are you sure-." She started. I finally forced myself to turn to her.

"I'm fine… Lissa, you need to start taking that medicine again."

"I can't, Rose. I wish you understood. I really do… but nothing you can say is gonna change my mind. Being blocked from my magic is driving me insane. I'll live without it." I turned my body towards her, and took a couple steps forward. Dimitri stepped with me, but I turned to him and shook my head. He understood then that I was in control and myself again. I reached up and took her face in my hands.

"If you even think about harming yourself again… I will come here every day and shove a pill down your throat if I have too." I told her. I looked down and back up to meet her eyes. "You're all I have; Lissa… and I can't take losing you too."

"Rose, I'm not going anywhere." She promised.

"If you feel like that one more time, Lissa… I mean it." I told her. She nodded.

"Rose, I'll be fine. I can do this. I know I can do this now. I've been through it once, and I know what it's like now, and I can overcome it. I need you to believe in me." She said.

"I do. I believe in you a hundred and ten percent, Liss…. But I can't take the chance on losing you."

"I'll be fine. I promise you if I start feeling… like I did before I will start taking the medicine again. You have my word." I turned to Dimitri.

"You heard it. She gave me her word. She can't get out of it now." He nodded once.

"Rose, we probably need to be heading back." He said.

"I know." I muttered. I turned and hugged her. "You gave me your word. Remember that."

"I will, I promise."

"Make sure Christian takes care of you." I said. Her mouth fell open, causing Dimitri to cough a laugh.

"How'd you know?" She asked. I tapped my temple.

"Unfortunately, I know more than I want to know." I murmured. I kissed her forehead. "Good night Lissa."

"Bye guys." She said, as we walked away. When we got into the van, I turned to him.

"Thank you." I muttered.

"For what?"

"For bringing me and for helping me through that, back there." I said, staring out the window as the academy and Lissa disappeared from behind us.

"It wasn't a problem." He murmured. We drove in silence the rest of the way. We were about two miles from the estate, before he turned to me.

"Do you really believe that Lissa is all you have?" He asked.

"Yes."

"You're wrong. You have me…" He said. _Not the way I want you. _I didn't respond. The van lapsed into silence until we got back to the estate. When we walked in, I started for the stairs, sparing him one last look before he walked into his bedroom.


	25. About You!

The next morning, I woke up to someone beating on my door way before it was time for my alarm to go off. My automatic thought was Dimitri. Something was wrong, or we were taking a trip to some other place as a part of my 'training' but when I called 'come in' it was Landon. The moment he walked in, I rolled over, pulling my blankets up around me.

"Sleep." I groaned.

"You've got to get up in thirty minutes anyway." He told me, walking towards my bed. I heard his footfalls coming closer and closer until they stopped beside me. "I wanted to talk to you about last night."

"I want to sleep. What part of that do you not get?" I groaned, curling up into a ball. The next thing I knew, his arms wrapped around me, and he crawled into bed beside me.

"Rose…" He murmured. I'll admit, I was slightly turned on by the gesture. I pulled the covers away from my face and looked at him, meeting his sparkling green eyes.

"What about last night?"

"What happened? You ran off so fast, and you promised you'd explain. I waited up for you, but you never came home." He said. I could see the concern on his face.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Landon. You need to understand that." I murmured.

"I know that… I'll only understand if you tell me. I'd like to know." He said. I sighed, knowing I couldn't keep it from him anymore, and he was right. I did promise to explain.

"It's too long of a story to tell you now, and I need to get ready for practice. Take a walk with me after training today?" I asked. He nodded.

"Of course." He said. I smiled.

"It'll be nice for someone else to know, so I have someone else to talk too." I said.

"You know I'm always here for you."

"I know." I murmured. He leaned forward and kissed me gently, catching me off guard. I leaned into it, welcoming his lips. After a few moments, I pushed him away. "I need to get ready."

"You're right, you're right. I'm sorry." He said, pushing himself up and out of my bed. He turned and walked towards the door. "Meet me out front after practice?"

"Sounds good." I said, nodding before he disappeared out my door. I rolled out of bed, about the time my alarm started blaring beside me. I slapped it and grabbed my gym clothes, and changed. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I ran into Adrian… and when I say ran into him, I mean I literally ran into him. As soon as it happened, I apologized, but then I remember Lissa's words from last night. _"But Adrian said-." _And _"He understands." _My skin crawled.

"You!" I growled.

"Yes?"

"You went to Lissa without telling me, you convinced her to stop taking her medicine." I accused, pointing my finger in his face.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, taking a step away from me. I shook my head.

"Don't you play dumb with me, Ivashkov. I know what happened. She told me." I snapped.

"She's not very good at keeping secrets, is she?" He asked.

"Don't pin this on her, this is your fault."

"My fault? Rose, I'm trying to help the poor girl out."

"She was doing fine before you barged in and convinced her otherwise." I said, my words coming out like venom.

"Rose, I knew what it was like being on that medication. Even without meeting up with her beforehand I knew she was suffering. Do you really want your best friend to suffer?" He asked.

"She was sane… and that was all I needed."

"Listen to yourself. That's all YOU needed. Did you ever stop to think of what Lissa wanted, of what was best for her?" He asked. I recoiled like he'd struck me with a whip.

"The medicine was the best thing for her. She was cutting herself. What if she would have cut too deep? What if she would have killed herself? What would I have then? Nothing. I wasn't going to take that chance, and I'm pissed that I'm having to take it now. Especially since I'm having to take it because of something YOU did." I snapped.

"I helped her."

"You had to stick your nose where it didn't belong." I muttered.

"I helped her." He repeated.

"You didn't do anything but fuck up something that was going perfectly fine." I snapped.

"It was going perfectly fine for you, because you were safe and sane here. She was there, alone with no one to talk to or help her, dealing with being cut off from her magic. You're not a moroi and I don't expect you to understand, but it's horrible. I'd rather be insane and free to do what I please than all bottled up and losing my mind." He said.

"This isn't about you." I snapped.

"It isn't about you either, and you need to realize that. This was about Lissa."

"I know who this is about, Adrian." I yelled, pinning him to the wall. I felt the darkness bubble out of me, but then retract as quickly as it came. The back door opened, and Dimitri stepped in to find Adrian and I in this compromising position.

"What's going on?" He asked. I stepped back, smoothing Adrian's collar of his crisp button up shirt.

"Just having a friendly chat. Sorry I'm late." I said, following Dimitri out the back door. When the door was closed, Dimitri turned to me.

"You were yelling at him for going to Lissa, weren't you?"

"You bet your sweet ass I was. He had no right going-." I cut myself off when I saw the practice dummies lined up on the track. "No way-." I started.

"I figured it was about time we got to this portion of your training. We can always circle back to combat." He said. He pulled a stake from his jacket and unwrapped it. He handed it to me and sighed.

"Be careful… don't kill yourself with it."

"You have such little faith in me." I said.

"You're wrong… I have a lot of faith in you." He said. Our conversations always took weird turns when we were alone. I think it was this undeniable attraction between the two of us, not that you'd ever get me to admit that out loud. There was something about it that just made things perfectly awkward and content between us. Was that weird? A little… yeah, I figured as much. Anyway, we walked over to the dummies, and he told me a few things about staking. He then motioned for me to try.

"Wait… you're not going to demonstrate first?" I asked, becoming nervous.

"No… I didn't think I needed to, since you're such a bad ass and all." Hearing him swear was always funny sounding because any other time he was so prim and proper. I always found humor in it. Anyway, I laughed.

"I am a bad ass, but I'd still like a demonstration." I said. He sighed.

"What's in the way of the heart?" He asked, meeting my eyes. The way he looked at me, it was hard to tell if he was talking about us or about a strigoi. The look in his eyes when he met mine always caught me off guard.

"Huh?" I asked.

"In the way of the heart… what's blocking it?" He asked again.

"Oh… Uhm…sorry. Ribs." I said.

"What else?"

"Cartilage?" I tried. He nodded.

"Yes, and to get through them, you've got to shove it in there… deep." He said. His choice of words was just asking for a witty, Rose Hathaway quip, but this was serious and I left that one alone. I nodded.

"Show me, master." I teased. He shook his head. He pulled his stake from his belt, and took stance before lunging and shoving the stake into the spot a strigoi's heart would be. He was so lithe and stealthy and yet graceful all the same. He stepped back, surveying his work before nodding proudly. I clapped and smiled at him.

"See… I've dug through the cartilage, around the rib cage, and into the heart. You've got to be rough and work it through all of that, because if you don't… you'll never actually get a clean kill, and that's always what you want to go for." He told me. I nodded. He ripped the stake out, and motioned to the other dummy. "Your turn."

"Oh boy." I muttered. I walked over to the dummy and took stance. I was going to do this, and I was going to do it right, and hopefully look dead sexy while doing it. I snickered to myself. I took a deep breath and lunged forward, digging the silver piece of metal into the dummies heart, digging around fake ribs and forcing it through fake cartilage. When I stepped back, Dimitri walked over, looking at my damage.

"Close… but not quite. You got it in there pretty deep, but I don't know that that would have reached his heart." He said. He nodded approvingly though. "That was very good for the first try. I'm impressed." I just nodded. He commented on the good things and made suggestions for the bad until we had to switch dummies because the one I was using had a gaping hole in the center of its chest. When we switched, I went to work on the new one. I dug my stake into his chest again and again, but I never seemed to quite make it. I forced and forced, but it didn't seem like it was working. When I did it, I turned my back, but Dimitri grabbed my arm, pulling me back around.

"Don't ever turn you back on an enemy until you know their dead. That'll get you killed." He said. I was caught off guard by the skin on skin contact and by the harshness of his words. I nodded once.

"Sorry…" I murmured.

"One more time, Rose. You can do this…I believe in you." He said. I spun the stake in my hand and took stance. I came up with a scenario in my head and lunged at the dummy, driving the stake through his heart. I pushed and forced and worked around ribs until I couldn't force it any further. When I stepped back, Dimitri examined it and smiled.

"Congrats, Rose." He said.

"I did it?" I asked. He nodded.

"You did it."

"Yes!" I exclaimed, jumping onto him and wrapped my arms around his neck. The moment I realized what I'd actually done, I let go and stepped back. Dimitri was laughing and smiling with me, so I hadn't crossed any of his boundaries, but I had crossed some of my own. I knew touching him in any way was a bad idea. The feel of his skin on mine was tempting and made me want to kiss him that much more. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay. You have a right to be excited. You did an extremely good job." He said.

"Thanks." I said, still slightly embarrassed about my little outburst. Regardless, I surveyed my work, looking to see how and where, and what I should do next time. He nodded approvingly as he did the same.

"We're done for the day. Very good, Rose."

"Thanks Dimitri." I said, simply before I started back inside. I knew if Landon's practice was over, I'd have to explain to him my life story. I didn't have a problem with that, but I felt like putting it off as long as I could. I grabbed a bottle of water, as I watched Dimitri move the dummies back into the shed outside. I took a deep breath before heading to the front door. When I walked out, Landon stood against the tree out front.

"Well hello there, beautiful." He said.

"Beautiful? I'm sweaty… I stink, and my hair is a mess. Beautiful isn't what I'd call this." I said. He shook his head.

"I would have to formally disagree with you, Rose." He said, walking over to me. I sighed.

"Of course…"

"Now… you wanna tell me what happened last night?" He asked, linking my arm with his. I looked up at him.

"Do you believe in coming back from the dead?" I asked. I figured I might as well start at square one.

"Uhm? Not really… I guess… I don't know. Why?"

"Because I did." He just stared at me for a second.

"I'm sorry… what?"

"When Lissa and I were younger, we were in a car accident." I said.

"The accident that killed her parents." He murmured. Everyone heard about it. It didn't surprise me that he knew.

"Yes, that same accident. Lissa was the only one to survive that accident." I told him. He just stared at me for a second.

"Please… elaborate." He said.

"Lissa is a different. She specialized in spirit instead of the other main elements that most moroi wield. Well, this enables her to do things that other moroi can't do. She heals people, and when we were all killed in that accident, she brought me back to life. It bonded us. There are all kinds of stories about Guardians and their moroi being bonded, but no one ever knew if it was true. Well, me and Lissa know it was. I can feel what she's feeling. I can locate her at any time. I can see through her own eyes as if I was her." I explained. His mouth was hanging open. He'd open his mouth to speak and then snap it shut. He did this two or three times, to the point where he looked like a fish out of water. Finally, he formed a sentence… sort of.

"So… you died?"

"I did." I murmured.

"And Lissa brought you back to life?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yes." I said.

"That's what happened last night? You were feeling what she was feeling?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yes, something was wrong with her, and I felt that. I was scared, so I went to her. That's why Dimitri took me to see her that day. She was making some bad decisions and I had to help her. She needed me. I didn't care what the others had to say about it." I told him. He nodded.

"It all makes sense now." He said.

"It does?" He nodded.

"You always seem like you're somewhere else sometimes, when you zone out, or when you're thinking deeply about something. Now I understand it's because of your bond." He said. I nodded, knowing that wasn't completely the truth. I'd never admit it to him though. "What happened when you disappeared last night? Why did she need you?" I then launched into a speech about the darkness, and what it was like, and how it affected both me and her. I told him about her cutting, and even shed a few tears, because it was the first time I'd ever laid everything out for anyone. I'd never told anyone our whole story at one time, and I felt vulnerable but at the same time, it was like a weight was lifted. He assured me it'd be okay and told me that I was strong enough to fight the darkness, just like Dimitri told me. I just agreed, and told him I'd do my best to be strong. By this time, we'd made our way to my room, lounging around. At some point we ended up falling asleep, but I didn't reject or fight it. I snuggled closer to him, and let myself drift into a peaceful sleep.

**A/N: Spring Break is next week, and I'm leaving for Arkansas. If the updates come to a stop, or slow down juristically that's why. I'm sorry for this, and will definitely get back into updating regularly as soon as possible. I'm not sure if I have wireless internet where I'm going, so that's one of the only problems I see myself running into. Anyway, leave me reviews & thank you so much for reading. **


	26. Pain!

**DIMITRI'S POV**

I laid in bed, picturing the two of them up in her room together. I'd watched them outside talking, even listened to a bit of what had been said. She'd told him the entire story. How Lissa and her had become bonded, the trouble she'd been having with darkness. She told him everything and I had to pry it out of her, and find out half of it on my own. It was safe to say that I was completely and totally…. Jealous. It was horrible that I… a twenty four year old man was jealous of a teenage friendship, but I was. I knew they could have something that Rose and I could never have and that was what made me jealous. I finally got up, not able to stand still anymore, and walked out back to the track. Why was it that I was sent this beautiful creature that I couldn't even really have a relationship? How was that fair? It was like she was sent here to tease me. What did I do to deserve this kind of torture? I walked out and sat down on the sidewalk, staring out into the twilight sky. The sun was just setting behind the trees, turning the sky a light orange and pink. I sat there, thinking of them probably in her room, cuddled up talking about all the problems she had. He'd probably stroke her face and tell her that she was strong enough to fight it and she was perfect, and telling her how amazing she was, and then he'd kiss her. My skin crawled. I stood up, pacing the sidewalk. Why was it I felt this way? I've never had anyone affect me this much in my life. Not even Tasha, my ex-wife had affected me this much. That was sort of the reason she was my ex-wife, but that's moot point. As I paced, I heard footsteps approaching.

"What are you doing up this early?" She asked. Her voice brought goosebumps to my skin. _Roza. _

"Couldn't sleep… I could ask you the same thing."

"Same. I mean… I slept a little… but-." She started, shrugging.

"Are you okay?"

"I guess." She murmured. I could see there was something on her mind, but I wasn't sure she was ready to tell me.

"Rose?" I asked, softly. She shook her head.

"It's just me. I'll be fine. I just needed some fresh air, but… you look like you want to be alone… I'll go back inside." She started to turn and walk back to the house, when I touched her arm, and shook my head.

"Don't go…" I said. Then, I realized how idiotic I sounded. "I mean… I don't want to be alone… I just came out for some air too. You don't have to leave." I mended.

"You sure?" She asked.

"Positive." I said, feeling slightly relieved that she wasn't leaving. She stared at me for a second, and attempted to raise an eyebrow.

"Why couldn't you sleep?" She asked, sitting down on the sidewalk.

"I… I don't know." I lied. She nodded.

"Mhmm." She muttered.

"What?" I asked, naively.

"I'm not an idiot, Dimitri. I don't know when you're going to figure that out."

"I don't think you're an idiot. I think you're brilliant." I told her. She looked up at me, and smiled.

"I am, aren't I?" She said, smugly. I laughed, causing her to chuckle with me. I sat down next to her, and stared off into the horizon. "The sunset was never as pretty at the academy."

"It's more open here." I said.

"It's more beautiful here. I miss Lissa, but this place is so pretty." She told me.

"You going to miss it when you go back to the academy?" I asked her, praying that she gave me the answer I was seeking. She turned to me, and met my eyes before stating words that I knew were meant for me and me alone.

"More than anything." She said, staring deep into my eyes.

"This place isn't going to be the same without you." I said, breaking our locked gazed.

"It's still three or four months away. We'll worry about that when the time comes." She murmured. She sounded so old and wise when she said that, it sort of caught me off guard.

"I guess you're right." I said. A silence fell and the air around us became extremely still.

"How are you?" I finally asked her.

"I'm doing good." I'll admit, this wasn't the answer I was looking for. I wanted something less happy, now that we'd established there couldn't be anything between us. The silence fell again. I put my face in my hands and took a long deep breath. "How are you, Dimitri?"

"I'm fine." I answered. I looked over at her, to see her eyes narrowed. "What?"

"Now, tell me the truth."

"What do you mean?" I asked, knowing she was seeing through me.

"Look me in the eye and tell me there isn't something wrong." She said. I looked down. Every part of my being, wanted to deny it. I wanted to be fine. I didn't want this to bother me so much, but it did. When I turned to look at her, I watched her eyes land on my mouth, before moving up to meet my gaze.

"It's me… I'll be fine." I assured her. She stared at me for a second, and I found my eyes wandering down her face. I found my way back to her eyes, grudgingly. She finally stood up.

"I should go get ready for practice." She said.

"Yeah, I keep forgetting it's morning." I said, stupidly. She nodded.

"I'll see you later." She told me, before starting towards the house. I didn't miss the final glance she threw behind her before she made it to the door. In her eyes in that moment, I saw so much. I could see how much she wanted to run back to me, to throw herself into my arms…. Or maybe I was just seeing things. I knew now that she was gone, I'd have to do something to occupy myself and my mind or I'd let it run away with me again. I went inside and grabbed the mats, and took them out to the track, along with the dummies and stakes. That only took up about thirty minutes of my time, and I still had another hour till we were set to practice. I sat back down on the sidewalk. What the hell was wrong with me? Rose was a child. I'm a grown man. It's inexcusable for me to feel this way about someone as young as Rose. You would think with my high morals and what not that that would affect me, and make me realize how wrong it was for me to feel this way about her, but there wasn't a fiber of my being that was against it. Every time I thought of all the things wrong with it, I came up with even more things that were right. I didn't know how I was supposed to go about my feelings or where to even begin to sort them out. All I knew was that I wanted her… I wanted her more than I wanted anything…. Ever. I ran the track a couple times, and stretched when I saw her walk out. She looked at me, and then back down at her feet.

"Well hello again." I said, trying to lighten the mood. She nodded.

"Hey."

"You alright?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. She said, sitting down on the mat, and stretching. I stood up and readied things, before we started practice. She staked a few times, and then I moved the dummies for us to work on combat a little bit more. I should have known this was a bad move. All I'd wanted for the past few days was to kiss her, and now… here with the skin on skin contact, I couldn't help but want to kiss her that much more. I took her down twice and she took me down once, and it was only because I got distracted. Atleast that's what I told myself. I honestly believed she was becoming good enough to take me down. We went around one last time, both of us neck and neck. We exchanged blows for the longest time, and she even took me to the ground at one point, but I managed my way back up. She knocked me to the mat again, and managed my hands away from my chest, 'killing me.' We sat there for the longest time, her straddling my waist, staring down into my eyes. It was a compromising position and if anyone was watching right now, we were royally screwed, but in that moment all I could focus on was her eyes. She drove me wild.

"Dimitri." She murmured, her voice causing goosebumps to rise on my skin. She leaned down first, initiating the kiss. I just closed the distance, reaching up and pulling her mouth down to mine. The kiss started off sweet and innocent, but turned into something heady and deep before we realized what was happening. Rose pulled away, and stood up, staring down at me. She looked like a deer in headlights. She reached up and touched her lip gently.

"I'm sorry… I don't know-." I shook my head and closed my eyes tight as I forced myself to stand.

"Please… please don't apologize." I said.

"Dimitri, you know that we-."

"I know, Rose… but I can't help the way I feel about you." I said, the words pouring out of me like water.

"What am I supposed to say, Dimitri? Where are we supposed to go from here, because there's only one way I see this ending, and that's with both of us hurt, and there being nothing either of us can do. I've got Lissa to worry about… I can't afford to worry about this too."

"Rose, we can do this. We'd make it." He said.

"What about when I go back to the academy? What about when Lissa and I move to court, or she goes to college? What about all the adults who are going to freak out because I'm seventeen and you're twenty four? Why do I have a feeling you haven't really thought this out at all." She said, placing a hand on her hip. She was speaking, but her eyes were contradicting ever word she said.

"I know I haven't thought it through and you know why? Because I don't need too. I know you feel the exact same way Rose, and don't tell me different. I can see it in your eyes that you could honestly care less about any of that… because all you want is to be with me too." I said, my voice on the edge of pleading and yelling.

"You don't know anything." She snapped at me.

"Oh yeah, then how do I know when you're angry, you hit things? When you're sad, this wrinkle forms right in the middle of your forehead. You love doughnuts, you love your best friend Lissa even more, you've been hanging out with Landon, you told him your story about Lissa and the darkness. You care more about others than you do yourself, you're beautiful, and everything I want to be…. I see in you." I said. "And if you didn't feel the same way…. You wouldn't kiss back so convincingly." When I met her eyes, I suddenly felt bad. It wasn't hard to see the pain that was now filling them.

"You don't know anything, Belikov." She growled.

"I know you better than you think."

"Stop pretending to understand me. Stop trying…. Period. This won't ever work. You need to get that through your skull now, Dimitri… I'm sorry." She said, before turning away from me.

"You're giving up to easily."

"There isn't anything to give up on." She called over her shoulder. I would have flinched at her harsh words, but her voice broke at the end giving away that they'd upset her. I watched as she disappeared inside, never sparing a glance back. I turned and swung on one of the practice dummies, growling as my fist connected. What had I done?

**A/N: Hope you guys are happy. I've had people grilling me forever to write a Dimitri's point of view, so there ya go. :D**


	27. Gone!

A week had passed and things had become pretty normal. Practice with Dimitri became strictly mentor and student, nothing more. My words must have upset him almost as much as they hurt me to say them. Over the last week or so, Landon and I were hanging out more and more. He even convinced Guardian Young to let him take me out to dinner. He told me to ask Dimitri since we were so close, but I knew better. That would have been a big fat no, and a door slammed in my face, so I had to beg him to ask Guardian Young instead, knowing that he'd talk to Dimitri and I wouldn't have too. When he got it approved, I was slightly happy, and curious as to how Dimitri answered, or what he'd said. I was upstairs getting ready, when there was a knock at my door. When I opened it, there stood Dimitri. Automatically, I panicked, thinking he was going to call of my trip. He gave me a once over, and a slight smile spread over his face.

"You look cute." He said, then rethinking what he'd said, he cleared his throat and his guardian mask slipped over his face. "I brought you something." He pulled a case out of his pocket and handed it to me. It was heavy and when I opened it, I saw it was a stake. "I want you to have it, just incase. Landon isn't that far in his training yet, and I'm not taking chances on you two being unprotected."

"Nothing's going to happen." I said. I wasn't sure if I was the only one that heard the double meaning behind my words.

"You can never be too careful, and I'm not going to take the chance. I know you know how to use it efficiently. I'll be a little less concerned, knowing you're prepared for anything." He said. I nodded.

"I'm ready for anything." I said. He inclined his head.

"Good… Have a good time." He said, his voice hard. I knew he wanted me to have anything but a good time.

"I will." I said. He turned to walk away, but I called after him, when he turned, I smiled warily. "Thank you… for letting me go."

"No problem." He said, between clenched teeth. He turned and walked out, as I shut the door and went back to the bathroom to apply the last finishing touches to my hair and make-up. This was the first time I'd actually attempted to look decent since I'd been here, although I managed to look amazing on my own, this was the first effort I'd put forth in awhile. I slide my stake into my belt, and made sure it was completely hidden. I then went downstairs to find Landon standing in the main room, his hair was its usual messy, but it was obvious it was a intentional messy, and it suited him. I couldn't imagine it any other way. He had a nice dark blue button down shirt, and blue jeans. His green eyes shined as I came into view.

"Hey there."

"Well hello handsome." I said, smirking. He chuckled and rubbed his knuckles on his shirt, before shrugging.

"Thanks… You look amazing, Rose."

"Thanks." I said, looking down at my feet.

"You ready?" He asked, offering me his arm. I nodded.

"Sure, let's go." I said, taking it and allowing him to escort me to the van. He opened the door for me, and then went around to climb into the passenger's seat. The ride there was silent for the most part.

"Are you going to tell me where you taking me?" I asked, about fifteen minutes into the ride. He looked over at me, and chuckled.

"Nope."

"Then how do you know I'll like it?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I don't. Guess we'll just have to find out, huh?" He said. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, whatever." I muttered. He chuckled. As we drove, he finally pulled into a parking lot. The building was small, and looked like a hole-in-the-wall place. When we circled the building, I saw it was an Italian pizzeria. I was slightly proud of his choice. He raised an eyebrow at me as he pulled into a parking space.

"Is this okay?" He asked.

"Depends, is there pizza good?"

"It's phenomenal." He answered. I nodded.

"Then it's fine." I said. He jumped out, and walked to open my door for me. I smiled. "Such a gentleman." He chuckled.

"When I wanna be." He said. I laughed. We walked around to the front, and inside. The hostess sat us at a table in the back, and gave us our menus before walking away.

"I'm really glad they let us leave tonight. I was getting tide of the estate." I said.

"Me too." He told me. "Atleast you've gotten to leave once or twice… I haven't. I've been stuck there since the moment they dropped me off."

"Yeah, but most of the times when I left… It wasn't on good circumstances." I said. He looked down, and back up at me.

"Yeah, I guess that is true." He said. "How is Lissa? Have you heard from her or… checked in on her?"

"I did this morning. I called her. She's doing fine, which was a relief to hear." I said.

"You still not talking to Adrian?"

"No." I answered simply. I still hadn't spoke to Adrian after what he did. I understood that he thought he was doing good by helping Lissa, but he has no idea what he could have caused, and what I would have done to him if Lissa wouldn't have been fine after stopping the medication. Regardless, he nodded.

"Don't you think it's time to forgive him?"

"Not exactly, no." I said, shrugging. The waiter walked up, and I turned to smile. He looked about twenty years old. He took one look at me, and smiled back.

"Hello, what can I get you to drink?" He asked. Landon nor I missed that he was speaking directly to me.

"Sweet tea." I answered. He nodded and threw me another unnessicary smile before turning to Landon.

"And you?"

"Coke." He said, his voice hard. The waiter nodded.

"I'll be right back with that." He said, before turning and walking away. Landon's face was priceless. I giggled, causing him to turn to me.

"What?" He asked.

"You're face… You looked like you were trying to burn him with your eyes." I said. He rolled his eyes at me, and laughed.

"Did you see the way he was looking at you?" He asked me. I nodded.

"Yeah, I'm used to that look. I get it a lot." I said.

"It's rude when you're in the company of another guy." He said.

"It's not a big deal."

"He was undressing you with his eyes." He told me. I laughed.

"Like you don't." I said, smirking at him. He growled at me, which made me laugh harder.

"That's different."

"Oh yeah? How?" I asked. He fell silent. I nodded. "Yeah, that's what I thought." He fell silent. When the waiter came back, I kept my eyes on Landon. He was looking down, avoiding seeing the waiter gawking at me.

"What can I get you guys to eat?" He asked. I looked at Landon.

"A large supreme pizza?" Landon asked me. I nodded.

"Sounds good." The waiter nodded once.

"Alright, I'll go put it in. By the way, my names Dirk if you need something." He said, looking solely at me as he took our menus and walked away. I shook my head.

"Anyway, back to the conversation we were having."

"What?" I asked.

"Adrian… You really should forgive him." He said. I sighed.

"Why do you think so?"

"You guys were friends." He said.

"He did something that was uncalled for." I said.

"He was trying to help." He said. I shook my head.

"He had no real idea of what he was doing. He could have gotten her hurt, even killed if being off the medicine affected her. He should have talked to me first." I said.

"He's still your friend."

"Was."

"Rose…" He muttered.

"Why are you so worried about it?" I asked.

"It's just-." He stopped.

"It's just what?" I asked. I was completely confused at his reasoning for wanting me to forgive Adrian, when I could honestly careless.

"I think it's good that you have friends, Rose… Friends at the estate. It scares the hell out of me knowing you have darkness in you. I'm not scared you're going to hurt me… I'm just scared of what it could do to you. I worry about you, and I know Adrian's a spirit user… and I guess I just thought he'd understand a little more, and that he'd be good if you ever needed someone, because I haven't really even begun to understand everything with the bond and spirit, and I just think it's good for you to have more people at the estate that have your back than just me and Dimitri." He said. I stared at him for a second and smiled. It was really sweet that he was that concerned about me, and if I needed someone.

"I'll be fine. I don't need him."

"Forgive and forget, Rose." He said.

"I'm a girl. I hold grudges. Keep that in mind." I teased. He rolled his eyes.

"Just promise me you'll think about it."

"I promise." I said. The pizza came out, and our waiter… Dirk set it down and looked directly at me with a pleading look.

"Is there anything else I can get for you?" He asked. I looked up at him, and smiled.

"No thanks… We're good… Right babe?" I asked, looking at Landon. His head snapped up, and he nodded.

"Yeah, we're fine." Dirk nodded and walked away extremely disappointed. I laughed, causing Landon to shake his head.

"You just crushed that poor boys dream."

"He'll live. He wasn't the first and won't be the last to be shot down by me." I said. He chuckled, and smiled.

"I guess you're right." He said. We dug into the pizza, eating and talking.

"Do you miss your academy?" I finally asked. He shook his head.

"Not exactly." He said.

"Really? Why not?"

"I wasn't exactly everyone's favorite guy back home." He told me.

"Really? Why?" I asked.

"I just wasn't. I was a smart ass, and people back home couldn't handle it, so a bunch of people didn't like me." He said. I just nodded.

"I have that problem too. I just miss my academy because of Lissa." I said.

"I know." He said, smiling and taking another bite of his pizza.

"It's gonna be weird when we all go back."

"I don't wanna talk about that." He murmured, looking away.

"Why?" I asked. He shook his head. "Landon..."

"I'll miss you… I don't know what I'm going to do when I can't see you anymore." He said. It was obvious how much Landon really liked me. I just smiled.

"We'll figure it out." I said, not sure what else to say to that. It was sweet. We finished our pizza and Landon paid, and we headed outside. He looked at his watch, and sighed.

"So, our curfew isn't for another two hours. You wanna go walk the lake?" He asked. I nodded.

"Sure. Anything to keep me away from that place longer." I told him. He smiled as he opened the van door for me, and we headed to the lake. He parked off the side of the road, as we started along the sidewalk, he reached for my hand and intertwined his fingers in mine.

"So, how are you?" He asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Darkness wise." He corrected. I nodded.

"I've been fine lately. It makes me wonder when it's gonna explode out of me. I feel it sometimes, but it hasn't lashed out of me yet. I'm thankful for that… but I'm worried about when it does."

"Me too." He murmured. As we walked, I kept feeling my stomach swirl. I ignored it because it wasn't bad or anything. It was just a slight thing I kept noticing.

"We should probably start heading back to the van." I said. He nodded and we turned around. The moment we turned, I noticed someone standing off in the distance. It was dark, and I couldn't see, but I could make out the shape of a person.

"Are you seeing this too?" I asked, as we slowly walked. He nodded.

"Should we run?"

"No, that'll let them know we see him." I told him, reasoning and survival skills kicking in. It could have been anyone, a human murder or rapist, a strigoi, a dhampir murderer. You never knew.

"Just keep walking." I murmured, never taking my eyes off the spot he was standing. I blinked one time and noticed he'd gotten closer exceptionally closer. I frowned, knowing what it was then.

"Landon… If I tell you to run, you're going to run back to the van and call for help, okay?"

"What and leave you, no way?" He whispered.

"I'm trained and I have a stake. I know what I'm doing. If we plan on getting away from here alive, you've got to trust me, okay?" He was silent for a second, before I looked up at him. "Please."

"Alright." He murmured. He started walking closer and closer until he stood in front of us.

"Well hello there, what are you two doing out here all alone." He said. As he stepped into the light, I saw the dark red rim around his eyes. _Damn it. _

"What do you want?" I snapped.

"Oh, no need to be snappy now." He said. "I only want one little thing."

"Oh yeah, what's that?" Landon squeezed my hand. We knew what was coming.

"You!" He said, lunging at me. I pushed Landon back, and pulled my stake, raking it across the strigoi's face as he reached me.

"Landon, GO!" I screamed. The strigoi went to go after him, but I grabbed him, connected a punch to his face. He growled and tried to tackle me to the ground, but I planted my feet, keeping me from going anywhere. I threw kicks and punches, trying to weaken him. He was strong and fast, but I knew I had to be stronger and faster to beat him. He connected more of his hits than I did, but with the adrenaline pumping through my veins, I felt no pain. This wasn't training. This was the real deal and it was life or death. I wasn't sure how long our fighting had gone on, it seemed like hours, but I knew it was only a few minutes. I heard footsteps fast approaching, and it distracted me. I let him get a hand hold and he threw me to the ground. I whimpered as my back hit the pavement, but I held my head up, keeping it from slamming the ground. He grabbed a hold of my throat, and revealed his fangs, but he didn't get the chance to use them before he was tackled off me by Landon.

"No!" I screamed. I scooped my stake up off the ground and went running to where they'd fallen. He drew back and punched Landon hard in the face, and Landon was out. "NO!" I cried again. I grabbed his head, and went berserk on him, swinging punches. I wasn't letting this one go. I had to finish this. I threw him to the ground, and went to stake him, when he head butted me, throwing me off. I felt myself slipping in and out of consciousness. I tried to prompt myself to full awakeness, but it wasn't working. I heard the strigoi cry out and heard a lot of growling and a few other sounds that didn't sound like they came from him. When I forced my eyes open, I saw him swing a right hook and connect with Landon's face one time. I tried to get to my feet.

"Landon…" I slurred, trying to get up. When I finally managed to get to my feet, and open my eyes, they were both gone. "No!" I screamed. I started running, looking for where they'd gone, but it'd been so out of it, and I hadn't seen where they disappeared. I sank to my knee's sobbing helplessly knowing that it was my fault. I'd agreed to this. I let this happen. I should have been stronger. I should have been faster. This wasn't fair. I sat there for the longest time, before I heard lots of footsteps running towards me. I didn't look up. I didn't care. My stake lay on the ground a good four feet away from me. If it was a pack of strigoi I was as good as dead, and I didn't even care.

"Rose?" I heard, the voice laced with a slight Russian accent. I still didn't look up. "Rose, are you alright?" Was I alright? Physically, I was okay. I was a little battered and bruised but it wasn't anything a shower and an icepack wouldn't fix, but emotionally, mentally, I was losing it. My best friend, a boy that could have possibly been my boyfriend was now gone and it was my fault. He stepped in front of me and knelt down. The look of pain that crossed his face, made the tears stream faster. "Roza, answer me… are you okay?"

"No…" I whispered, the word coming out hoarse and cracked.

"Where is he? Where's Landon?" I didn't know how to answer, or if I could say it without losing all sense of composure. "Roza, where's Landon?" He asked again.

"He's gone… The strigoi took him. I tried. I tried so hard, but it wasn't enough. It wasn't good enough because he's gone." I screamed, crying. My entire body was shaking at this point. Dimitri grabbed me, wrapping his arms around me and holding me.

"Come on; let's get you back to the estate."

"No… I have to go look for him. He's out there." I cried. He took my face in his hands and met my eyes.

"Roza… He's gone. He isn't coming back." The pain was very prominent in his voice as well.

"He can't be gone… he has to come back. He can't leave me…I need him… I-. I-." I stopped; knowing anything else I could say would be pointless and babble. He helped me to my feet, but my legs were jelly beneath me. He then scooped me up into his arms and carried me to the van. "Landon!" I cried, knowing it wasn't going to do me any good. He was gone.


	28. Lapse!

In the van, I was blank, an empty canvas. I had no idea who I was, which way was up or down, left or right. I was an obsolete object on the face of this Earth. I knew my head was lying in someone's lap, and I felt them stroke my hair every once and awhile. I was guessing Dimitri, but I couldn't be sure. It wasn't like I cared at this point. When the van came to its final stop, everyone jumped out, except Dimitri and I.

"Roza…" He whispered softly. I didn't move or speak. I wasn't sure I could. "We have to go inside. I need to make some phone calls." I still didn't move. I felt his warm lips on my forehead, before he opened the door, letting a rush of cool air into the van. "Eddie, come here." He called.

"Yeah?" He said. It was easy to hear the pain in Eddie's voice as well.

"Carry Rose to my room, and stay with her. I'll be in shortly; I have to make a phone call." He said, meaningfully. I knew who he was calling. He was calling Landon's academy, so they could call Landon's parents. A fresh set of tears began to silently stream down my face. Eddie must have nodded, because I felt Dimitri pull me out of the van, and lay me in Eddie's arms. When he carried me in, all the novices were standing around, watching. They all had somber looks on their faces, much like all the guardians. He managed to get Dimitri's door open, and carried me in to lay me on his bed. There was always a warm feel to Dimitri's room when I was in here. Now, the air felt colder than ever.

"Do you need something?" I shook my head. He nodded and the room fell silent again. I'd heard people say that silence is deafening, but I didn't understand that until now. "I'm sorry, Rose."

"Don't apologize. It wasn't your fault." I murmured, my voice sounding weak and hoarse.

"It isn't yours either."

"You're wrong." I whispered, my voice barely audible. I don't think I was even talking to him at this point. I was speaking to myself. The room fell silent once more, before Dimitri walked in. He looked to me, lying on his bed and to Eddie, standing in the corner.

"Thank you, Eddie." He said. Eddie nodded.

"Everything squared away?"

"Yes, everything's fine. They said they'd handle it from there." He told him. I guessed that meant it was the academies duty to inform his parents. I looked down at my hands, to see them bloody and bruised. Before Eddie walked out, Dimitri called after him.

"Go get Adrian for me, please."

"No!" I said, instantly.

"What? He can heal you, that way-." I cut him off.

"I don't want to be healed… and I don't want to see him. NO!" I said. Dimitri looked at Eddie, and sighed.

"Nevermind." He told him. Eddie nodded.

"Feel better, Rose." He said, before walking out. I didn't say anything as he shut the door behind him. Dimitri sat there, looking at me.

"Roza…" He murmured. I remained silent. He walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed, taking one of my bloody hands. "You need to let Adrian heal you."

"I don't need to be healed, I'll be fine." I said, trying my damnedest to sound stern.

"Roza, you're hurt."

"I deserve to feel this pain after what I've done." I whispered. He shook his head.

"No… No, you listen to me. This wasn't your fault. You tried, there wasn't anything you could do, Roza. You did what you could." He said.

"I told him not to come back. Why didn't he listen?" He demanded, putting my face in my hands. Sobbing overtook my body, causing me to convulse and shake.

"Roza, it's going to be okay."

"It's not. If I can't even protect another dhampir, what makes me think I'm going to be able to protect Lissa? A princess? A strigoi target? She'll be taken, just like Landon." I cried.

"She won't. You're going to get better, and you'll be able to take care of her just fine."

"I'm never going to be good enough to be her guardian." I whispered.

"You're wrong. You're amazing, and strong, and oh so powerful. You'll protect her better than anyone else could." He told me. He was so wrong. If I'd let a strigoi take Landon, someone who had been here for me through everything here at the estate, how would I be able to keep her safe? She was more of a target. She'd be attacked or approached more than Landon would have, and she'd die just like him. "We're sending a search party out in the morning, to see if we can find him." Dimitri told me.

"I didn't think-." I started. He shook his head.

"I don't care what the norm is. He was a student of mine, and if I can atleast find his body, I'd be happy with that." He told me. Guardians weren't supposed to send out search parties for dhampirs, specifically because dhampirs die all the time as guardians. I wasn't ever a really big deal. Dimitri obviously thought different.

"You called his academy and told them?" I asked. He nodded.

"And they're going to inform his grandparents." He said.

"His grandparents?"

"His parents have been dead for years…. You didn't know that?" He asked. I shook my head. If I didn't feel bad before, I felt ten times worse now. I just looked away from him. "Hey… you're going to get through this. I promise, you'll get through this." I stared at the wall, not being able to meet his gaze.

"I don't deserve to get through this. Someone's dead because of me."

"It wasn't your fault. If anyone's to blame here, it's me. I shouldn't have let you go." He said. I shook my head.

"Don't start that shouldering-the-blame bullshit. This isn't nearly your fault." I snapped, actually sounding half-ass threatening this time. Tears were still streaming down my face though. He wiped them away, and kissed my forehead. I just looked down.

"I cause bad, wherever I go. I'm always hurting someone, influencing someone to do wrong, fighting with someone, getting someone killed." I whispered. He shook his head and scooted up further into the bed, and pulled me onto his lap; I turned and buried my head into his chest, and cried. He never asked me to leave, or told me to go back to my room. He just held me and let me cry. Eventually, I found myself fading in and out of consciousness. He didn't' tell me to leave then either, he allowed me to sleep right there on his chest, which I didn't object too at all.

* * *

><p>When I woke the next morning, my head was still rested perfectly on Dimitri's chest. I moved my head slightly to see him still sleeping. I tried to maneuver myself out of his bed without waking him, but the moment I thought about moving, he stirred and opened his eyes. He looked down at me, and smiled slightly.<p>

"Hey." He murmured softly. I could tell by the way he was looking at me; he was waiting for the waterworks again.

"Hey." I said. There was a silence between us that said so much. I could tell just how worried and concerned about me he was. I sat up, and rubbed my eyes, wincing at the pain. They were dry and sore from all the crying I'd done last night.

"Are you okay?" I nodded once.

"I'm fine." I murmured. He just gave me a look. I maneuvered myself out of his bed, but when I went to stand, my legs gave and I started towards the floor. He grabbed me, keeping me from falling. "I'm fine, I'm fine. Just give me a minute." I stood up, and steadied myself before taking a deep breath. "I'm okay."

"Maybe we should call the paramedic, and have him come look at you, just to be safe."

"You know what they'll tell me? Bandage the cuts, ice the bruises, stay off my feet, and I'm suffering post-dramatic stress, like I don't already know. I don't need a doctor. I'm fine." I snapped. I frowned after I saw the look on his face. "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to snap at you."

"No… I understand. It's not a big deal." He said.

"I just… I need to go." I said, turning and walking towards the door.

"Rose, wait-." He started. I shook my head.

"Don't follow me." I told him, before walking out. As I started towards the stairs, I saw Adrian. He took one look at me, and I saw the sadness become prominent in his eyes.

"Little dhampir." He murmured. I wanted to cry, and thought I might, but no tears came to the surface.

"Hey…" I said, my voice cracking. He took a few hesitant steps towards me.

"I'm so sorry, Rose." He said.

"Don't be…" I whispered, shaking my head. He looked at the bruises and scratches.

"Can I?" He asked.

"No." I said, looking down. "I deserve the pain."

"No, you don't. Rose, don't say that."

"I just…I need to go to my room. I'm tired and nasty, and… I just want to be alone." I said. He nodded as I started for the stairs again.

"Rose?" He called.

"Yeah?" I asked, wiping the one stray tear that managed to fall.

"I know that you're still mad at me for what I did to Lissa, and all… but if you need me, I'm here. I'll always be here for you, you know that." He said. I remembered what Landon had said to me last night. _"Forgive and forget, Rose." _and _"Promise me, you'll think about it." _I sighed, knowing that it's what he'd want.

"I forgive you." I said, simply before walking upstairs. When I was in the safety of my room, I sat down on my bed, and took a deep breath. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Landon was gone. One of the few people I had, one of the few people that put up with me, regardless of all the bullshit and baggage I bring along, he accepted me. And now, he was gone with a snap of my fingers. I still couldn't accept it, but I knew I had no choice. I'd never get to see him again, never get to hear him laugh, or him tell me I was pretty, or go back and forth with our smart ass jokes. I'd never get to train with him again; never get to see the amazing guardian that I knew he'd blossom into. There was nothing. We were nothing now, cause he was gone. It was like everything I'd once known here was ripped out from under me. I finally forced myself up, and grabbed a change of clothes, heading into my bathroom. I stared into the mirror for the longest time, seeing the haunted look in my eyes. It was like I was awake, but no one was really home. I turned the water on in the shower, and got in, letting the hot water wash off the blood and dried tears. When I got out, I wrapped the towel around me, and started to get dressed, when I felt the weight of everything just hit me. I felt myself sinking to the floor, sobbing helplessly. It was what I needed. I just had to get it all out of my system so I could go about my daily life as if everything was perfect like I so often did. I wasn't sure how long I was there, when I heard my door open. I didn't bother getting up, I didn't bother moving. I knew it was either Dimitri or Adrian, and at this point, I really didn't care. When my bathroom door opened, I looked up to meet Lissa's light green eyes.

"Rose…" She murmured.

"Lissa…" The sobbing came even more then. She fell to her knees beside me and pulled me into her. Dimitri stood in my room, outside the door staring in at the two of us, crying like idiots. I was still aware that I was only wrapped in a towel. I was still aware that I was on my bathroom floor, but did I care? Not in the slightest. My best friend was here now, and that was all that mattered. I just held her and cried because it was all I really knew how to do at this moment. Everything was pouring out of me. I wasn't just crying about the loss of one of my best friends, but crying about everything, about all of the shit that was going wrong in my life. It seemed like everything was just falling apart, and losing one of the few people that helped me hold it together made it all come tumbling down on me. When I was finally able to speak, I looked at her. "I'm so glad you're here."

"I knew you needed me." She murmured.

"How?" I asked. She turned and looked at Dimitri, who was still standing in my room.

"He sent for me. He said you needed a friend right now." She said.

"And Kirova just let you go?" I asked, completely caught off guard by the act of kindness.

"Yeah, we'd all heard about what happened, and when Dimitri called and talked to her, she was okay with it." Lissa said. I just hugged her.

"God, I'm so glad you're here." I looked up over her shoulder, and mouthed a thank you. He nodded and smiled slightly, even though I could still see the pain in his eyes.

"I'll leave you girls alone. Rose, if you need me… you know where I am." He said, before walking out. I stood up, and Lissa stepped out so I could get dressed. After I did that, I went out to my room and sat down on my bed beside her.

"Rose, I'm so sorry about what happened." She said. I shook my head.

"Don't be sorry… it wasn't your fault."

"And it wasn't yours either. You need to get that through your head now." She told me. I wanted to argue. I wanted to tell her how horrible I felt because I felt like I'd failed Landon, like I'd failed Dimitri, and like I'd failed her. Regardless of that, I just nodded, knowing she'd argue my case of how it wasn't my fault at all. She looked at all the scratches and bruises on my arms and face, and frowned. She reached out to touch me, but I stood up and away from her.

"No." I said.

"Rose, you're hurt. Let me heal you." She said, giving me this evil look. I shook my head. "Why?"

"Because… I want to heal on my own for once."

"Don't do this, just let me." She said.

"No… Lissa, I mean it." I said.

"If you love me, you'll let me heal you." She said, knowing that always got to me.

"Lissa… NO! I understand that you want to help me, but this is a me thing. Just, don't worry about it."

"How can I not worry about it, you're hurt." She told me.

"It doesn't hurt, and I'm fine. I just need to feel normal. I need to heal on my own." I said, lying about why I didn't want her to heal me.

"You are normal." She said.

"She's anything but." I heard a familiar voice say. I looked up to find Adrian. I smiled slightly at him. "How are you guys holding up?" He asked.

"We're fine." Lissa said, nodding at him.

"Rose, I've been thinking, and I was wondering. Can I talk to you alone for a minute?" He asked. I nodded.

"Sure, uhm… Lissa, do you mind?" I asked, softly. She smiled.

"Sure. I need to go talk to Dimitri anyway." She told me, before kissing my forehead and walking out. Once she was gone, Adrian turned to me.

"How you doing?"

"Skip the crap and just tell me what's on your mind." I said, smirking slightly. It was easy to tell, Lissa being here put me in a slightly better mood. Well, she made it easier to hide what I was feeling.

"I've been thinking about what you said, and about you forgiving me earlier, and I've come to realize that you were right. I had no right to convince Lissa to stop taking her medication, and even if I did, I should have consulted with you first. You're her guardian, and I should have known better." He told me.

"I'm not her guardian." I murmured.

"But you're going to be."

"I don't deserve to be. I'll only get her killed." I told him.

"You're wrong. Rose, you have to move on from this. I know you're upset and it's hard, but you're going to get better, and stronger, and you'll be able to take out anyone who crosses you one day. You're still young. You've got time to improve."

"Adrian, I'm five months from graduation." I said.

"And three of those months, you'll be here. Training your ass off with Belikov. You'll be an amazing guardian, just like your mother."

"DO NOT compare me to that woman." I snarled.

"Whether you like to admit it or not, she's an amazing guardian." He said, shaking his head at my reaction.

"But she's a shitty mother."

"I wasn't complimenting her mothering skills, Little Dhampir." He told me. I sighed. "Come on, let's go downstairs, and I'll make you a cup of coffee, and we'll all talk." He said. I nodded and stood up, following him downstairs and to the kitchen. He went to work on the coffee pot as I found Dimitri and Lissa. They looked up and were silenced at my entrance.

"Do you want some coffee?" I asked. They both nodded.

"That'd be nice." Dimitri said. I nodded once, knowing they were talking about me, since an awkward silence fell over the room.

"Go back to whatever you were discussing about me." I said, before walking out. Everything was so weird now. I could feel the awkwardness. Lissa and Dimitri walked out of his room, and Lissa came into the kitchen. Dimitri walked outside to make a phone call as the three of us sat at the table.

"So, princess, how are you?" Adrian asked.

"I'm doing well, thank you. How about yourself, Lord Ivashkov?" She asked.

"I'm doing well also." He answered her. I heard someone walking down the stairs and looked up to see Glenn walk into the room. He looked from Adrian, to Lissa, then his eyes fell on me. This was not going to end well, and I could already see it.

"Well, what do we have here?" He asked, looking at Lissa. "Guardian Belikov, once again granting your every wish cause you shed a tear on that dead loser." I couldn't believe the words that had just come from his mouth.

"A fellow novice has died, and you regard him as a 'dead loser.' You're a sorry excuse for a man." Adrian said.

"Says the moroi who's had everything in life handed to him on a silver platter. Shut it, Ivashkov."

"Glenn… Leave." I snapped. "Unless you want your nose splattered on your face again, like before." I growled.

"Awe, but you don't have your little loser friend, Landon to help you." He said. I could feel my blood pressure rising. The darkness was bubbling to the surface, and this was going to end badly. I could already see it.

"Excuse me, I don't know who you think you are, but you need to watch the way you talk to her." Lissa told him.

"And what are you going to do about it? I'm sure you're just like Ivashkov. Never done a thing for yourself, cause you're too busy letting everyone else do it for you. Isn't that right princess? " He said. I jumped up from the table, and stood before him.

"Glenn, leave… NOW!" I growled. He took a step back.

"It's your fault he's dead you know. If you would have been stronger, faster, maybe Landon would still be alive, or maybe he would have gotten away and you'd be in his place." He said. My mouth fell open, and tears began to stream down my cheeks. I didn't know what to say or do at this point, cause I felt like someone had just stabbed me in the stomach. It was then; Glenn grabbed his head, falling to his knees, screaming in agony.

"Rose… Rose!" Adrian said. I turned to find Lissa's face had gone somber, and her eyes had gone dark. I could feel it through the bond. She was doing this. She was causing him this pain, and she wasn't planning on stopping. For a second, I debated on letting her kill him. I couldn't let her have murder on her hands though.

"Lissa… Lissa, stop." I said. She didn't. If anything, the power intensified. Dimitri came running in to the screaming.

"What's going on?" He demanded.

"She's given herself to the darkness." Adrian said. "Her aura's gone black."

"Lissa…. Lissa, come back to me. Come on, stop this. You're going to kill him." I told her.

"Good." She said, in a voice that sounded nothing like her own.

"No, you cannot kill him. He's a person, just like all of us. You don't want to kill him." I said, frantically.

"He deserves to die." She said.

"No, no one deserves to die. Lissa, snap out of this." I begged. "Dimitri, get Glenn out of here." He ran to Glenn who was now convulsing on the floor. He grabbed him and ran him out of the room. I could still hear his screams as he ran him down the hallway. I grabbed Lissa's face and forced her to look at me. "Come on Lissa, this isn't you. This is the darkness, come on." I begged, shaking her. The moment she fully met my eyes, the fight drained from her body, and she was my Lissa again.

"Rose…"She murmured.

"Yeah, it's me."

"What just happened?" She asked, her voice barely even a whisper.

"I don't know, but it's all right now." I told her, my eyes falling on Adrian. He looked almost as scared and confused as I did, and I found no courage there. "Adrian, go check on Glenn." I said. I helped Lissa sit down in her chair, and knelt down beside her.

"What did I do?" She murmured.

"You didn't do anything. Everything's fine. You're okay." I told her, patting her knee.

"Rose, what's happening to me?" She asked, tears leaking down her face.

"It was just a lapse in self-control. I have those all the time. You're fine now, and it's gonna be okay." I promised. She just nodded. Dimitri finally emerged from the hallway.

"What happened in here?" He asked. I just looked up at him. As if I didn't have my own things to worry about, I now had to deal with this as well.

"Lissa had a bit of a lapse in self-control." I told him.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. It's just the stuff he said to you was so mean, and I know how upset you were, and I didn't mean to hurt him. I just wanted him to pay, and I just-." She shook her head, choking off her next words with a sob.

"I need to get her back to the academy, Rose." He said.

"I want to go with you." I said, standing.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea." He said.

"I'm going, Dimitri." I said. I met his gaze for a second, and he nodded.

"Alright, let's go." He said. I helped Lissa up, and we headed out to the van, and back to the academy. For the first time all day, I wasn't thinking about the pain of Landon's death.


	29. Deserving!

The ride back to the academy was pretty silent. I sat in the back with Lissa, to comfort her. It was strange how things worked out. She came to the estate to comfort me, and it ended with me comforting her. She laid her head over on my shoulder, and I patted her knee, hoping me being close would give her the strength she needed. I was seriously worried for her. I had outburst, I'll admit but mine just came through more like a bad attitude. Hers was different, really different. I'd never seen anything like that in my life. I'd seen Lissa get angry, but I'd never seen her get that angry that she was ready to kill someone. Lissa wasn't normally a violent person.

"They're going to put me back on that stupid medication." She murmured. I shook my head.

"No, they're not."

"As soon as you tell them I almost killed someone from a lash of darkness, they're going to put me back on it, and I'm going to become a vegetable again. I might as well be human." She muttered, looking out the window. I was quiet for a second, before I looked up at Dimitri in the rearview mirror.

"They're not going to put you back on it, cause we're not going to tell them about it." I said. Dimitri nodded at me once in the rearview mirror, as if he understood.

"What? You're not going to-." I shook my head.

"It was a lapse of self-control. You didn't mean to. I have them all the time, and they haven't put me on any kind of medication yet. There's no need for you to go back on it, and I'm not going to let them put you back on it for something so small." I told her. She looked up at Dimitri.

"Are you going to tell them?" She asked him. He shook his head.

"No, I won't say anything. If word gets back around from Glenn though, there isn't much I can do. I hope you two know that." He said. I nodded.

"I know." I murmured. He'd be too afraid of her to say anything and that was the one good thing about this situation. She put the fear of God in him. I doubt he'll mess with me, her, or Adrian ever again. When we pulled up to the academy, we all got out. Dimitri headed to the office to let Kirova know she was back, while I escorted Lissa back to her room. When we got there, she sat down on her bed, and looked up at me.

"I've never been so angry in all of my life." She murmured.

"I know. Glenn brings that out in people." I said.

"But I'm not a violent person."

"I know that." I told her.

"Is that what you feel like all the time, like you're just going to snap and kill someone?" She asked me. I'd honestly never wanted her to know how I felt when darkness was affecting me, but I knew now the only way to make her feel safe about it, was to tell her.

"Yes… like you wish everything you look at would just burst into flames, because the darkness and destruction of that would make you feel better. It's hard to deal with, but eventually… You'll learn to control it, and just live with it." I explained. She nodded.

"I'm sorry that you have to deal with this because of me."

"Don't…If I didn't have to deal with this, I'd be dead." I said, harshly. She looked away.

"I guess you're right. Rose, I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Me either." I admitted, smirking. She rolled her eyes. A few minutes later, Dimitri walked in.

"Everything okay in here?" He asked. I nodded.

"Fine." I said, simply.

"We should probably be heading back. It's already past curfew here, and it's getting late." He said. I turned to Lissa.

"You going to be okay?" I asked.

"I'll manage. I normally do." She said. Those words made me feel bad about leaving her, but regardless… I had no choice.

"Alright." I hugged her tight. "I love you, and if you need me… you know how to get a hold of me. And well, I'll probably know." I tapped my temple, causing her to smile.

"Love you too, Rose. I promise, things will get better. They can't stay horrible forever… you're too good of a person for that." She murmured.

"Good isn't the word I'd use to describe myself." I kissed her forehead, and followed Dimitri out and to the van. When we got in, not a word was spoken. I didn't really know what to say after everything that had happened in the past two days. What did you say when you're best friend was trying to kill people, and your other best friend was actually dead? There wasn't much. I was actually surprised I hadn't broken down in uncontrollable sobs for the second time to day, but I'd definitely managed to hold my own fairly well. Atleast I could say the silence in the van was a comfortable one. It wasn't long before Dimitri turned to me.

"How are you doing, Rose?"

"I'm fine." I answered, simply. He looked to the road and back to me.

"Now, how are you really? Because a little less than four hours ago, you were curled up on your bathroom floor, sobbing. You can feed that line to Lissa all you want, but I see through it."

"I'm… numb." I finally said, searching for the right word. There weren't really words to describe what I was feeling. If anything, I wasn't feeling anything at all, and that's how I was able to keep a hold on my composure. Otherwise, I'd probably be sobbing and blubbering helplessly like I was earlier.

"I see you still haven't let Lissa or Adrian heal you." He observed, reaching over and touching my bruised cheek.

"No." I answered simply.

"You need to let them."

"I want to heal on my own." I said, looking out the window.

"That's not the real reason you haven't let them, and you know it. You don't deserve to be in pain, Rose. You don't deserve the torture you're putting yourself through." He said. I shook my head.

"Just let me suffer, okay. I do deserve it."

"Rose, what happened wasn't your fault. You need to understand that." He murmured.

"And you can tell me that a hundred times over and I'm still not going to believe it. I'm the only one to blame, cause I was there. I could have stopped it, and I didn't. I let it take him when I could have done more. I could have given myself up; I could have fought harder, been faster. Like Glenn said, it's my fault he's dead. Everyone at the estate knows it." I told him.

"They're wrong. You're wrong. He made the decision to come back." I felt tears well to my eyes. If he hadn't come back, he might have made it out of the situation alive. If he'd have listened to what I'd said instead of trying to be the damn hero, he'd still be alive… but no. He couldn't let that happen.

"If I wouldn't have accepted the offer, we wouldn't have had this problem. This whole situation could have been avoided if I'd just told him no when he asked me out."

"Why would you have done that though?" He asked. I didn't say anything, because we pulled into the estates drive way. I turned and started to jump out, preventing him from seeing the tears about to leak from my eyes. He grabbed my wrist, and gave me one of those all knowing looks, but I shook my head and jumped out. As I started for the door, I turned back to him.

"I should have said no, because I didn't feel for him the way he wanted me too. He liked me a lot, maybe even loved me. I didn't feel anything more than a strong friendship with him, and I feel horrible because he's dead because of a lie. I let him believe what he wanted, and now… he's gone." The tears finally escaped as I admitted the lowest, most horrible thing I'd ever done in my life. I'd let someone die believing I loved them too. I didn't love Landon. It was possible I could have in the future, but right now… when we were spending so much time together… I didn't. If anything, I was using his company as a distraction. I still didn't think I was able to admit that part out loud to him yet.

"You can't help the way you feel." He said, softly. I knew he was talking more to himself than to me.

"I let him die, believing a lie, Dimitri. What does that say about me as a person?" I demanded, becoming angry with myself. I wiped my eyes, and looked down.

"It says you're young. It says you're still learning what makes you happy, and learning who you are. You can't force yourself to feel something that is or isn't there. You can't be upset with yourself over something that was completely out of your control."

"If I had any common sense, I would have loved him." I whispered, shaking my head. Here it came, the reasons. "He was the sweetest person I've ever met. He's been there for me through thick and thin. He understood. He listened when I talked, and even when he didn't understand, he tried to sympathize with me. He was the perfect guy, and I just couldn't give him what he wanted, even though I pretended too."

"It'll be okay." He said, softly.

"I'll never forgive myself for this, even if I live to be a hundred. He's dead because of me. He's dead because of a lie." I told him.

"He isn't dead because you let him believe you loved him, Rose. The strigoi had nothing to do with that." He said. I shook my head.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm going to go to bed. I've had enough death and darkness for today." I told him, turning back for the door. Next thing I knew, a rough hand wrapped around my wrist.

"Things will get better. If you believe anything, you need to believe that."

"I don't deserve better. I deserve what I'm getting. The pain is the only reminder of my mistakes now. I told you once, I'll tell you again. I deserve the pain. I deserve for things to be shitty cause it's the way I've lived my life." I said.

"Roza, stop that." He laid a hand on the side of my face. "You are perfect, and yes you're going through a rough patch, and yes… you made some choices that affected a lot of other people, but that's life. If you don't mess up, it'd be completely boring. People make mistakes… and you're a person just like anyone else. You're amazing, and everything good about the world, and you deserve more than this."

"Life dealt me a hand of cards, Dimitri. How I played them was my own choice." I said, somberly.

"And sometimes… those choices aren't always the best choices, but you made them just the same. You either accept them and move on, or live your life feeling guilty, and full of regret. Don't be that girl who lets things like this rule her life." He said. "You're better than that." I felt my eyes leave his, and trail down his face to rest on his lips as he spoke. I forced my eyes back up to meet his.

"I'm tired, and I just want to sleep." I said, stepping away from him. I walked inside and upstairs to my room. When I reached my door, I heard Dimitri downstairs talking to someone. I wondered if it was Eddie or Adrian. I didn't go down. I changed my clothes, and curled up in my bed. I knew sleep would never find me the way my mind was racing, but regardless, I laid down and tried. I tossed and turned, and tried sleeping with my head at a different end of the bed. I tried lying on the floor, but sleep wasn't coming. I'd known better, so I didn't even know why I tried. Eventually, I got up and headed downstairs. I walked out the backdoor and to the track. I knew the only way I'd be able to get any sleep is if I wore myself out. Well, here went nothing. I started on the fence, and just ran, and when I wanted to quit, I ran faster. My legs were screaming all kind of obscenities at me, but I didn't care. I wanted to sleep, and this was the only way I knew I could do it. When I finally stopped, because I could no longer breath, angry and frustrated tears were streaming down my face. I hadn't realized I'd been crying till I stopped running. I turned and stared out into the trees, wondering what would happen if I just took off, wondering who'd come after me now that Landon was gone. I knew Dimitri would, and Lissa… but no one else. The one person that would have followed me to the end of the Earth was gone. I noticed something move in the trees and when my eyes fell on it, it looked like Landon. My entire body froze. I hadn't seen right. "Landon." I whispered. I blinked hard, once and he was gone. Great, now I was seeing things. I really was crazy, wasn't I? I sighed and turned back towards the estate to see someone walking towards me. _Dimitri. _

"What are you doing out here? It's cold and it's late."

"I don't care." I said, simply. "I'm going back inside now."

"Wait…You said Landon… did you-?" He asked.

"My minds playing tricks on me. It's letting me see what I want. No big deal, just going a little crazier than I already am. It'll be fine." I said, nonchalantly.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing… I'm just seeing things. I'm fine. It's nothing." I told him. I shrugged.

"I'm serious, Rose. Maybe I should call the doctor, just to be safe. You were pretty shaken up. What if you really do have-."

"I'm going crazy, Dimitri. I'm eat up with darkness, one of my best friends is dead, everything on my body hurts, and shit is falling apart. I can't sleep; I haven't eaten anything since my date with Landon. I've got shit wrong with me, yes…. But it isn't anything a doctor can fix, because it's all in my head, and it's ingrained into who I am. The darkness can't be stopped. The pain of Landon's death isn't going to go away. I have to deal with this. There isn't some magic medicine that can fix me." I told him.

"Rose… I'm not trying to-." I cut him off with a shake of the head.

"I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to help me, you're trying to be the hero, and guess what? That's what got Landon killed. I'm fine on my own, just like I always have been. I know you're trying to help, but I don't want it. The sooner things are back to normal, the better." I said.

"Rose, being by yourself… being on your own won't make it go away. Ignoring it… won't make it go away. You have to realize that there are some things you can't run from." He told me. This anger was building inside me now.

"I don't run from things, Dimitri. I've never ran." I growled at him.

"You're trying."

"You taught me when." I murmured, walking around him. I could tell I confused him when he didn't respond right away.

"What do you mean?" He asked, as I reached the gate. I stopped and turned back to him.

"You told me to run when I'm out of options and out of time… well, I'm out of both." I murmured. I turned and walked back inside, leaving him standing there.


	30. Unsaid!

The next few days passed in a dull haze. Dimitri said it was probably better off that we practice in the gym now. He said I needed to be around people, instead of secluding myself. In reality, Landon and Dimitri were the only two people I really ever saw. Except for the occasional Glenn, who normally left bleeding or screaming. Now, we practiced in a room full of people, but even then… I'd never felt so alone. Everyone around me seemed oblivious to the dark shadow that seemed to be hanging over my head. Dimitri saw it, but that was only because he knew me better than the rest of them did. My performance was horrible in training now. It was like every move I made, everything I did… all I kept thinking was _'that wasn't a good enough move to save him'_. Dimitri noticed how horrible I'd gotten, but he never said anything. He'd just take me down, and get right back up, and we'd start all over again. It was Friday, that Dimitri called me to his room a few hours after practice for a phone call I didn't want to receive. I walked into his room, expecting a heart to heart about how I needed to pull through this for Lissa, but that wasn't what I got. When I walked in, he had a somber look on his face.

"Hey… you wanted to see me?" I asked.

"There's someone that would like to talk to you." He motioned to the cell phone in his hand.

"Who?" He looked down, and back up at me.

"Landon's grandparents."

"What? Why would they-." He shook his head.

"Rose, they just want to talk to you. I think it'll be good for you." He told me.

"There you go, thinking what is and isn't good for me again."I muttered. He sighed.

"It'll be good for them too, and think of how it'd make Landon feel." He told me. He would pull that card on me. It made me want to punch him in the face. I finally took the phone and hit the unmute button.

"Hello?"

"Rosemarie?" I heard from the other end. The person sounded like they'd been crying, and automatically my body stiffened.

"I go by Rose, but yes ma'am, that's me."

"Hello darling, my names Valerie. I'm Landon's grandmother." She murmured.

"How are you doing, ma'am?"

"We're…. we're pushing through. It's all we can do. How are you darling? I know you're going through a tough time with this." She said.

"Yes ma'am." I told her.

"Sweetheart, it isn't your fault that this happened to him. I hope you know that." She said. I heard her take a deep shaky breath.

"I can't help but feel like it was. I feel like I could have done more, I could have given myself up. I wouldn't ever wish this on him. He was an amazing person, and he didn't deserve this." I told her.

"Honey, I would never ask that of you, and you know Landon wouldn't have either." She said.

"I know he wouldn't have. If he just would have listened to me. I could have handled it, and none of this would have happened. I'm so sorry, Mrs. Valerie." I told her.

"Honey… it'll be okay. I don't blame you for this, and he wouldn't either." She said.

"I know." I murmured.

"The reason I called, is I wanted to ask you if you would like to come to the ceremony we're having for him. Guardian Belikov said he could get you here if you wanted to come…. And it would mean a lot to him, and to us. We'd like to meet you. We've heard a lot about you."

"Really? Landon told you about me?" I asked, tears were filling my eyes now.

"He did. He really liked you."

"I know he did." I murmured, choking back the tears.

"So will you come? Please?" She asked. I knew I couldn't turn her down, no matter how bad I wanted too.

"I'll be there… when is it?" I asked.

"Sunday afternoon." She told me. I took a deep breath.

"I'll be there. Thank you for inviting me." I said.

"We'll see you then, darling." She said, before hanging up. I removed the phone from my ear, and stood there.

"Rose, you alright?" I sat down on the side of his bed.

"How am I supposed to get through something like that?" I asked him.

"You're strong… You can do it." He assured me. "You said you wouldn't be able to make it through the darkness either, but look at you. You're doing fine."

"This is different." I snapped at him. "These people… they're his family. I was someone who just stumbled into his life, but these people… they've watched him grow up, knew him from childhood. How am I supposed to go here, and remember him when I'm the reason-."

"You are not the reason for anything, Rose. Stop it… Even his grandmother said it wasn't your fault." He told me.

"It's never my fault." I screamed. "That's all I ever hear, from you, from Lissa, from Adrian, from everyone. '_It isn't your fault, Rose. You didn't want him to die. You didn't mean to do it'._ That's all I ever hear from any of you, and you're wrong. When are you ever going to let me take the blame for something?"

"Rose… I just-." I shook my head.

"I was the last one to see him. The last one he spoke to. How am I supposed to go to this, where these people haven't seen him, heard from him in months, maybe years when I was the last one?" I asked, tears finally streaming down my face. He closed the distance between us, and pulled me into his arms. I buried my head into his chest, and squeezed him tight. He ran his hands through my hair, and just held me, murmuring little things in my ear, about how strong I was, and how amazing, and how I could make it through anything. When I pulled away from him, I frowned.

"I got tears on your shirt." He chuckled.

"It'll live, I'm sure." He said. I smiled slightly, as he wiped the tears from my face. "You're not going to be alone, Roza. I'm going with you and so is Guardian Young. We'll get you through it."

"Thank you." I said. I looked up at him, meeting his deep brown eyes full of concern for me. I quickly looked away, and stepped back. "I should probably go. I'll see you later." I told him.

"Wait… I was just-."

"What?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Nothing… I forgot what I was going to say." He murmured. I just nodded.

"Okay." I said, before I walked out of his room. I started towards the stairs, when I looked down the hallway. I frowned, remembering all the times I'd be walking towards the stairs as he was coming down the hallway. I turned and walked down the hallway and to his room. I opened the door to find everything exactly the way it was the last time I was in here. I frowned, as his familiar smell hit me. I walked over, and sat down on his bed. I ran my fingers over the comforter, remembering the nights I'd stayed in here to take care of him, or stayed in here to keep my mind off something else. I sighed knowing that I'd never have that luxury again. It was a hard thing to come to terms with. I looked around, fighting back the tears threatening to leave my eyes. It was then on his nightstand I saw a large leather book. I walked over and picked it up to realize it was his journal. I wanted to open it, but knew it was an invasion of privacy. Plus, I was scared of what I might find. _He's dead Rose, what does it matter anymore? _My heart lurched at the thought, but regardless, I opened it. The first line of the first page broke my heart. _'Mom and dad have been dead for three weeks now, and I don't know what the fuck to do.' _I read it, and I almost broke down.

"You're with them now." I whispered to myself. That soothed me enough to turn the page. I flipped to the back, knowing all of the front would be heart wrenching memories of losing his parents. When I saw my name for the first time, I stopped. _'I remember seeing her get on the bus thinking, god… she's beautiful. I talked to her today, and she's amazing. I guessed she would be. Her names Rose. Gorgeous name, of course. I think I could get used to talking to her.' _I sat there, staring at the page. I didn't know how to continue reading. He thought so much of me from the moment he laid eyes on me, and in the beginning, I'd barely given him a second glance. I closed the book and laid it back on his nightstand and laid back on his bed, closing my eyes. I'd done some pretty shitty things in my 17 years of living, but I'd never felt more horrible about myself then I did in this moment. It wasn't long before I realized, I'd fallen asleep. I'd been woken up by the sound of footsteps coming towards the room. I sat up, and saw the door open, and found Dimitri standing there.

"I've been looking everywhere for you."

"I've been here." I said, my voice thick with sleep. I cleared my throat, and winced at the pain.

"I was worried. I thought you'd left." I shook my head. "Are you okay? What are you doing in here?"

"Hoping for some guidance of some sort." I murmured.

"You look really rough, Rose."

"I'll be fine. I just need some sleep. I'm gonna go shower, and head to bed." I said, standing up. He nodded.

"If you need me, you know where I am." He said, before giving me one last look. He finally turned and left. I looked around the room, knowing they'd clean everything out and give it to his grandparents. I scooped up his journal, and took it to my room. There wasn't any telling how long they'd take to get this stuff to them. I wanted to give this to her personally. I took it with me as I went upstairs to my own room. I laid it on my nightstand, and laid down. I thought about reading it, but decided against it. It wasn't mine to read. I closed my eyes and slowly fell asleep.

* * *

><p>I felt like the next day passed in a haze, and the next thing I knew, I was waking up to get ready for a funeral. I found my only black dress, and put it on with some leggings to make it look less slutty. It was my little black dress, what could I say? I did my hair and make-up, and grabbed his journal. I walked downstairs, to find Dimitri standing in the main room. I smiled.<p>

"Hey…" I said. He was dressed in solid black as well. He looked amazing, not that I'd ever admit that out loud. He had his hair gelled back, and pulled into a pony tail like normal.

"You look nice." He said. I nodded once.

"Thanks." I told him. Guardian Young came out a few minutes later, nodding at both of us.

"You ready? We have a good drive ahead of us." Guardian Young said.

"Yeah, we're ready." Dimitri said, as I nodded. I followed them out to the van, and got in. Not much was said on the ride there. We stopped a few times, to use the restroom or to get something to snack on. Guardian Young wasn't lying when he said it was a long drive. When we finally arrived, the parking lot was filled with cars. Automatically my heart broke out into a sprint, and I wanted to dive out of the van, and run. We all unloaded, and I stood there, staring at the door. Guardian Young went on in, while I stood outside by the van.

"Dimitri, I can't do this."

"Rose, you can do this. I'm gonna be right beside you. I'll get you through this." He took my hand and squeezed it in his own.

"You promise?" I whispered, feebly. He nodded.

"I promise." He said. I nodded. He offered me his arm, and I took it as he escorted me in. There were people everywhere, all faces I didn't know, but faces that seemed vaguely familiar. I realized they all had a similar feature to Landon, because they were all his family. I frowned. It was then, I saw someone spot me from across the room. She was old, and looked frail, but there was a brightness about her. Even in these hard times, she smiled as she approached me. I knew this would be my breaking point. I thought I was prepared for it, but I wasn't.

"From what I've heard, you must be Rose." I nodded once. She pulled me in for a hug. "It's so nice to meet you. I see why Landon took such a liking to you. You're beautiful."

"Thank you." I said, my voice breaking. She took my hand.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm hanging in there, and you?" I asked her.

"Same… it's all I can do, I suppose." She said. She turned and spotted someone and grabbed them. He was an old man, who it was easy to see was her husband, Landon's grandfather.

"Darling, this is Rosemarie." He stared at me for a second, as if he didn't know what to do. I wouldn't either if I knew someone was the last person to see my grandson or daughter before they died.

"I'm so happy you could make it." He said, shaking my hand. I smiled.

"Thank you for having me."

"If you'll excuse me." He said, walking off. I would never admit it, but having him walk away like that stung more than it should have. If anything, I knew he blamed me. That was good. Someone believed the way I did. She paraded me around, and introduced me to everyone as Landon's girlfriend. At one point, I would have cared and rejected it, but now… I knew it didn't matter, so I let everyone go with it. Plus, if anything… I was pretty close to being his girlfriend. It would have been a lie, but nonetheless. Dimitri stayed close in tow. Finally she asked why he was following us. I told her he was my mentor, and my moral support. I did nothing but cry all day for the most part. People I didn't know came up and hugged me, and told me how sorry they were. People who were related to him, people who'd known him longer than I had, and they were treating me like his widow. I felt like I couldn't breathe, so when no one was looking, I slipped out the back door. I stared up into the sky, taking deep shallow breaths. I felt like I was dying. I heard the back door open, and turned to find Dimitri. He smiled.

"I was wondering where you went."

"Running, like always." I whispered. He shook his head.

"Stop it, Roza. You aren't always running."

"I want to leave." I said.

"We can't leave yet. The ceremony hasn't even begun."

"Dimitri, they're going to ask me to speak, and I'm not going to be able to do it. Not with how guilty I feel, I wouldn't be able to make it through that." I told him.

"You can make it through anything. I believe in you."

"You have too much faith in me." I said. He shook his head.

"The faith I have in you is well deserved. I've seen you at your worst and best, and I know you can get through this." He told me. I looked down, and realized he was right. I'd come all this way, and I had to finish this. I told him I had something in the van I wanted to give to her and walked out front to grab it. When I spotted her inside, she smiled.

"I was wondering where you ran off." She told me.

"I was in Landon's room last night, and I found this. I know that they're going to get all of his stuff to you, but I figured I should bring this to you. It's his journal." I said. She looked down at it in my hands, and I watched a tear roll down her withered face. She shook her head.

"No… If anything, you should have it. Landon's been through a lot and I'm sure there's a lot he didn't tell you about. This way, you'll know. Plus, I know there's a lot more about you in there then there is about me. I think you should take it." I just stared at her.

"You… you're sure?"

"I'm positive. I insist." She said. I just nodded and held it to my chest. I couldn't explain how bad I didn't want to part with it, so it was a relief when she said I could have it.

"Thank you." I whispered. She nodded. I put the journal safely back in the van, and went back inside. The ceremony started not long after that and everyone got up and spoke. Finally, it was my turn, but I honestly didn't know what to say. I wasn't ever good with crowd speeches. Those were Lissa.

"Landon was probably one of the sweetest people I'd ever met. When I got to the estate, everyone resented me because of my past. I'll admit, I was a little bit of a trouble maker, but he didn't care. He befriended me regardless of the things I'd done. He was pretty much all I've had throughout the last month and a half. I knew if I ever needed a friend or someone to talk to, he was just right down the hall." My eyes landed on Dimitri, who was staring at me intently. I found courage in him, and kept my eyes on him as I spoke. "If there was something, anything I could do to take back what happened, or change it. I would. I would have given myself up in exchange to have him safe and alive. He was great, and had so much potential. He didn't deserve this, and after meeting all of you, none of you deserved to lose him. I'm so sorry this happened to him, and there was nothing I could do. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for what happened, but he was one of my favorite people, and he will always be." Tears were streaming down my face, and I was having trouble breathing. "I'm sorry." I murmured, before running for the front door. I saw Valerie get up, but I heard Dimitri say he'd go after me. She must have sat down, because I didn't hear anyone else approach. I ran out the front door, and kept running. I didn't stop when I got outside. I kept running. I heard Dimitri calling my name, but I didn't stop. He finally caught up to me, and grabbed my arm, yanking me to a stop.

"Roza…" He said, out of breath.

"Just let me go… please. I don't want to be here… I didn't want to come here, because I knew this would happen. I was perfectly content loathing myself in the safety of my room at the estate. Then I had to come here, and share how much I hated myself for what happened to all of his family.

"You're right. I shouldn't have made you come to this." He said, softly. He reached up and touched my cheek, wiping away the tears with his thumbs. "Look at me." I looked up and met his gaze, getting lost in the soft pools of chocolate that were his eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked this of you. I knew you'd feel obligated to come." I shook my head.

"I… I didn't mean that. I just-." I took a deep breath. He pressed his lips against my forehead, and left them there for a few moments. It calmed me enough to where I could talk. "I needed to be here for this. I was the last one to see him. It was my obligation to be here."

"You didn't have to come though. I went about making decisions for you, when I know you hate that." He told me.

"It's not a big deal." I murmured. "I'm just glad it's over."

"I know… it's over now. You don't have to talk anymore, or worry about it anymore." He pulled me into his arms, and held me close. I reveled in being close to him. When we pulled away, we remained only inches apart.

"Thank you for everything… for being here for me." I murmured.

"It's part of my job." He said.

"Even if it wasn't, you'd still do it." I said, without a hint of doubt in my voice.

"You're right… I would." He said.

"I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You're strong… you'd manage." He told me. I shook my head.

"I don't think I would."

"You would… You're strong enough to do anything you set your mind too. It makes you fierce. It's also one of the reasons I love you." He said. The moment the words left his mouth, I was positive I hadn't heard him right. He automatically looked away from me, knowing what he'd said might or might not upset me.

"I'm sorry… what?" He took a deep breath.

"It's one of the reasons I love you." He repeated, fear in his voice this time. I stood there, not sure what to say. This weird silence fell over us, but finally he broke it. "Now, would be the time to say something."

"I… I don't know what to say." I murmured.

"I can deny up and down that I feel something for you, but I do. I can pretend that seeing you in pain or upset doesn't bother me, but it does. I can pretend that I don't love you, but I do. I can't deny it anymore. Regardless of how you feel about me, I love you Rose. I just needed you to know that." I coughed a laugh through the steady stream of tears.

"And you felt now was a good time to tell me?"

"Now was good a time as any." He said. I sighed. I looked down and back up to meet his eyes. I realized now why lying to Landon hurt so bad. I was letting him distract me from things I didn't want to feel for Dimitri. When our eyes met for the second time, he cupped my face in his hands, his fingers like feathers on my skin. "Rose…" He murmured. I knew where this was going. He was warning me, letting me know if this wasn't something I wanted, that I had the opportunity to say no. My brain was screaming at me to move, but my heart was screaming at me not to, so I didn't. When his lips met mine, I realized I'd made the better decision. No matter how shitty I felt about Landon's death, and about me using him as a distraction… Dimitri was always where I wanted to be. My heart had already figured out what my head didn't want to accept. I reached up and cupped his face, pulling away. We stood there, staring into each other's eyes for along moment, before he frowned.

"That was un-."

"Called for? Yes… but it made me feel better." I said. He smiled slightly, as I stepped back.

"We should probably be getting back. They're probably worried." I nodded, and followed him back towards the building the ceremony was taking place in. Before we got there, I called after him.

"Yes?" He asked, turning back to me. I started to say that I loved him too. It was on the tip of my tongue, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Instead, I did what Dimitri normally did.

"Nevermind… I forgot what I was going to say." I murmured. He smiled slightly, and nodded. I think he knew where I wanted to go with that, but I didn't.


	31. Without You!

We went back to the ceremony, and found Valerie. I apologized for running out and told her I just needed a moment to myself. I took a seat in the back row, by where Dimitri was standing. As the rest of his family spoke, and said a few more things, Dimitri stepped behind me, and placed a hand on my shoulder. It shocked me, but I leaned into his touch. I then started thinking about all the people that could be looking, but soon realized that to them… it was just a friendly gesture towards me. He was helping me. They'd never think anything more of it. When it was over, Valerie came over and found me, tears leaking down her face. I smiled slightly at her.

"Thank you so much for coming, Rose."

"Thank you for inviting me. It was so good to meet you." I told her. She nodded.

"We'll keep in touch?" She asked.

"Of course. If you ever need me, just get a hold of Dimitri. I'm never too far away." She smiled and hugged me again. She then turned to Dimitri.

"Thank you so much for allowing her to come."

"It wasn't a problem." Dimitri said nodding. We headed outside and towards the van where we found Guardian Young talking with some people. He bid his goodbyes and got into the van with us. When I got into the backseat, I pulled Landon's journal into my lap, and laid my head against the window. I saw Dimitri look up into the rearview mirror a couple times, but no one ever spoke. Guardian Young stayed silent. Regardless of where my mind had been back at the funeral home, I'd seen him shed a tear or two. We pulled over at a rest stop at the halfway mark. I was ready to be back at the estate and in bed, and definitely out of this dress. I sat down on a bench and stared off into the sky. It was late… really late, atleast for the moroi world. The humans maneuvered around normally, as if we weren't even there. I got a few stares from teenage boys, but other than that we didn't get much attention. Dimitri sat down beside me, but he didn't say anything. I sighed and stood up.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." I said, before walking away. He didn't say anything. I went to the bathroom, and pulled my hair up into a bun. I splashed water on my face, getting off all the dried tears. I then started back towards the van. I heard someone whistle, and of course I turned around. When I did, there was a teenage boy standing against the wall. I raised an eyebrow at him, and then kept walking.

"So, where are you from?"

"Out-of-your-league." I said, as I continued walking.

"Awe, come on. Don't be like that, now." He said. I heard his footfalls behind me. He was human. I could take him if I needed to.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"You're gorgeous." He said.

"And you're a genius, cause that didn't answer my question." I stopped and turned around, causing him to halt. "Leave me alone… I don't want anything to do with you. You're not…my type." I smirked.

"Well, what is your type then? I'll be whatever you want me to-." I cut him off when I turned and started walking away. He grabbed my wrist, not in the gentle way Dimitri did when I tried to walk away from him, but in the possessive way, as in I was going to have to hurt him.

"I suggest you let go of me if you want to keep that arm." I snarled. He released me the moment Dimitri came around the corner. His eyes narrowed as he took in the scene before him.

"Everything alright?" He asked.

"Yeah, pops… everything's fine. Move along-." The boy said, shooing Dimitri away. Dimitri's eyes fell on me.

"Are you alright, babe?" He asked me. I knew what game he was playing, but it caught me off guard nonetheless. It made me smirk hearing him call me that. I liked it more than I should have.

"Who's this?" The boy asked me.

"Her boyfriend… you've got about five seconds to get out of here, before I break you in half." Dimitri said, his voice hard. The boy's eyes got big, before he ran off. I stared up and Dimitri and laughed once he was out of ear shot.

"That was amazing." I said, smiling. He gave me the warmest smile.

"I've missed that."

"Missed what?" I asked, confused. He looked down.

"The sound of your laugh. I feel like I haven't heard it in forever." He said. I smiled.

"I guess it has been awhile, huh?" I asked. He nodded once. "I guess there wasn't been much to laugh about recently."

"I guess not. It was good to hear you laugh though." He said. I nodded.

"Thank you… that kid was a prick." I said, motioning to where he'd disappeared. He shrugged.

"It wasn't a problem, babe." He said, winking at me. I smirked. "Come on… we need to be getting home." He started towards the van, and I followed. As I walked behind him, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. It looked like a person, and when I turned, I realized it looked a lot like Landon. My body froze, and I narrowed my eyes, trying to see. I blinked once and when I looked back he was gone. Dimitri turned to find me stopped in the middle of the sidewalk.

"What is it?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Nothing… I just-." I stopped. "Nothing." I followed him back to the van, and got in. The rest of the drive was pretty silent. I leaned my head over against the window, and took a short nap. I woke up when we were about five minutes away from the estate. Dimitri looked like he was about to pass out behind the wheel. Guardian Young was asleep as well.

"Wake up, Comrade. We're almost there." I said, patting his shoulder. He opened his eyes wider, and nodded.

"I'm tired."

"Me too. Sorry I fell asleep." I told him. He shook his head.

"Don't apologize. I'd wager you haven't slept much recently." He said, looking up at me.

"I haven't." I admitted. He nodded. When we finally reached the estate, he woke Guardian Young up and we all went inside. Everyone was still sleeping at this time. I carried myself and Landon's journal upstairs with me. I laid his journal on my night stand, and pulled my dress off over my head. I slipped on a pair of shorts and a sports bra, and went downstairs to get a drink. I was walking out of the kitchen to go back upstairs when Dimitri walked out of his room. We both kind of froze and stared at each other for a second, although his eyes weren't on my face.

"Sorry… I thought you'd gone to bed." I admitted. He shook his head.

"It's not a big deal." He said, finally meeting my eyes. I smiled.

"I'm just gonna go now." I said, walking towards the stairs.

"Rose?" He called when I reached the bottom

"Yeah?" I said, turning back to him. He smiled and looked down.

"Goodnight." I smirked.

"Night babe." I muttered, before walking upstairs. I head his soft chuckles follow me up the stairs. I climbed into bed. I picked up Landon's journal with the intentions of reading it, but I passed out before I could open the cover.

* * *

><p>When I woke up the next morning, I was hugging Landon's journal to my chest. I sat up, and looked around, taking in my familiar surroundings. I hadn't remembered much from last night. That's how truly tired I was. I laid the journal on my nightstand and groaned as I stretched. I rolled out of bed, and pulled my hair down, shaking it loose. I went into the bathroom, and stood in the mirror for a second. It was then that the day before came back to me piece by piece. The ceremony, meeting Landon's grandparents, me speaking in front of his family, running away, and then… <em>the kiss. <em>I sighed, knowing I'd just fucked up what I'd been working so hard towards. Hiding my feelings for Dimitri wasn't an easy thing to do. Making him believe I didn't love him was tough. Making myself believe I didn't love him was an even harder task. I splashed some cold water on my face, and headed downstairs. When I got downstairs, I realized I hadn't even looked at the clock. When I did, I realized that I'd only gotten a few hours of sleep. I had put myself back on Moroi time, even though I'd been awake all day. I grabbed a bottle of water, and headed back upstairs. I sat down on my bed, and grabbed Landon's journal. I opened it, and began reading. I skipped the first twenty pages, due to the fact I knew they were about him losing his parents. I started reading about his first days back at school, certain things sticking out at me. _"People stare at me now. I know all they think when they see me now is 'that's the boy that lost his parents' he must be depressed." _I frowned. I flipped a few pages, and stopped reading through. _"So, Grandma gave me mom and dad's wedding rings. I cried when she gave them too me. I want to get married with them one day. I'll give it to a special girl. She'll have to be as amazing as my mom was." _I felt tears well to my eyes. It was obvious that he loved his parents very much. I wondered what it was like, knowing who BOTH your parents were, and having them both in your life. I'd wager that Landon had a better childhood than I did. I flipped a few more pages. I noticed a girl's name, and smiled. _Leah. _They'd apparently been together and she'd fucked him over. As I stared down at the pages, I noticed the marks on the page. It was obvious that he'd been crying when he wrote this. The tear stains were quite clear. I shook my head. Any girl that fucked him over was a complete idiot. It was obvious he felt strongly for her by his choice of words. Then, the sentence caught me that made me angry. _"I was going to give her my mom's ring. I'd been planning on it for weeks now. I'm so fucking glad I convinced myself to wait. I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever find someone to give it too." _I smiled. Atleast he knew what it was he was truly looking for in a girl. Most guys just wanted someone to use for sex, and money and stuff… it was obvious to me that Landon had never been that way in his life. He was obviously raised right. He reminded me a lot of Mason Ashford from school. I flipped towards the back, and started going through the pages about me. I flipped a few pages in to find the entry of the night I was drunk. He was obviously amused by my behavior. I smirked slightly, even though this was making me extremely depressed. _"I wanted to kiss her so bad. She was drunk, and I knew it… but I wanted to. I was just scared that if she remembered that she'd be angry at me. If she really wanted me to kiss her, she'd say something when she was sober. I'm patient. I can wait." _I smiled at how much of a good person he was. It was still hard to believe that such a good soul was missing from the world. I continued flipping. I found the entry he'd wrote after the first night we'd kissed. I found it funny that most of that page was in capital letters. _"We kissed tonight… and she wasn't drunk. It was magic. I feel like I've been waiting a century to do that." _I shook my head as a tear leaked down my face and fell onto the paper. I wiped the following ones away and composed myself. I took a deep breath, and continued. When I reached the last page, I took a deep breath and began reading. It was his last entry, and it was the night we left on our date.

"_We're going on a date tonight, and I'm super excited. I haven't gotten to take her out yet, and she deserves so much. I'm not going to lie, I'm super nervous and I'm not sure why. I've been around her for what seems like ever, but tonight as I get ready, my hands are shaking, and I'm just super nervous. It may have something to do with the fact that I plan on giving her the ring tonight. I'm not asking her to marry me or anything like that, because I know what the answer to that will be. I'm simply giving it to her due to the fact that no one has ever made me feel the way she does. It may not last, or there might not really be anything between us, but I want her to have it, just to show her how much she truly means to me. She's everything to me, and I don't really know how I lived so long without such a woman in my life. Anyway, I better go finish getting ready. I'll write about how it goes later. I'm super excited. I think I might love her. _

_-Landon. _

It was the last entry. I jumped up, leaving the book there on my bed, heading outside. It was still dark, but barely. There was probably a good hour of night left, but the estate was dead quiet. If anything… it was too quiet. I jogged around the track a couple times, just to keep my mind off what I'd just read, although it wasn't really working. As I rounded the corner, heading back towards the gate I slowed to a walk. I had this eerie feeling like someone was watching me, and they were close by. I looked around as I started walking fast towards the gate. My stomach stirred.

"Rose?" I heard from behind me. That voice sounded strangely familiar. I knew I was hearing things. I knew this wasn't happening. I knew I'd seen him a couple times, but now I was hearing him too? I was really losing my mind.

"Get it together, Rose. You're losing it." I whispered, shaking my head as I walked.

"You can't lose something you never had." I heard his soft chuckle, but it sounded different. It wasn't the same. It wasn't as friendly. It wasn't his laugh. It was in this moment, I couldn't help it. I had to turn around. I had to prove to myself that he wasn't really there, that I really was hearing things. I turned slowly, but automatically panic flooded through me. I stood there, face to face with Landon.

"Landon-." I whimpered. This was wrong. He was dead. I blinked hard, sure he was going to disappear, but he didn't. I took a step back as he stepped into the light. It was then that everything clicked. Even from a distance, there wasn't any mistaking the red rim around the light green pupils of his eyes. "No…" I whispered. This wasn't happening. How had this no occurred to me? They'd never found a body? How could I have expected anything less from a monster as evil as a strigoi?

"I've missed you." He said, taking a few steps forward. I stepped back with every step he took towards me.

"Landon… what happened to you?" What was I doing? Why wasn't I running for dear life? He was a strigoi. He was Landon. What was I supposed to do? He was my best friend.

"What do you think happened, Rose?" He asked, voice like ice. Tears were streaming down my face now. I'd done this to him.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you." I whispered. He shook his head, and smiled, moving closer.

"I'm not. You have no idea what it's like to be a strigoi. It's amazing. I want… I want you to join me." He said, looking down. Even in his undead state, he was still the same shy boy when it came to me.

"Landon… No." I murmured.

"Come on, Rose. It can be just like it was, but ten times better. You know you want too. You're too strong, too powerful to settle with being a simple dhampir."

"Landon… Don't do this." I begged. I blinked and before I knew it he was right in front of me. I gasped, and tried to step back, but he grabbed me.

"Hey… calm down." He said. "I'm not going to hurt you." The glint in his eyes said different. I watched as his eyes fell on the vein that was probably pulsing ninety to nothing in my neck. I pulled away from his hold, and stepped back. _"They're not the same person they were before… remember that." _I heard Dimitri's lesson tugging at the back of my mind, but somehow I just couldn't force myself to run. He was still Landon. He didn't look any different here in the dark. He started to walk towards me again, but I continued to back up.

"Landon… just go." I begged.

"Not without you." He snapped, his voice sounding meaner than it ever had.

"I'm not going with you, and I'm not going to become a strigoi."

"Don't make me force you, Rose. You know I don't want to do that. I want you to be with me though." He said. The next words that left my mouth broke my heart, not only because it hurt to say that, but because I knew what it was going to lead to.

"I don't want to be with you." I said. I watched as those red-rimmed eyes filled with pain for a second before the anger kindled there.

"You don't know what you want… I'll show you." He said, lunging for me. I ducted under his attack. I swung and caught him in the face. This just pissed him off ten times more. He lunged at me again, throwing all of his weight. He was stronger and faster now, and I couldn't force his weight away. He took me to the pavement, his fangs bared. I knew what was going to happen, and there wasn't going to be anything I could do to stop it. I hoped he'd spare me, and just kill me. I hoped I'd pissed him off enough. I heard him snarl, and suddenly he disappeared from above me. _No. _


	32. Saved!

It took me all of about seven second to recuperate, but by this time, Adrian was already trying to help me to my feet. I pushed myself away from him, running to where Landon had been thrown. It was there I could see Dimitri and him battling it out. He grabbed Dimitri by the throat and slung him to the ground like he was weightless. He was newly awakened, so he was stronger, making him stronger than Dimitri.

"Landon, stop." I begged, as Adrian tried to pull me away.

"Come on, Rose. We need to get out of here." Adrian begged. I pulled myself out of his grasp, and started back towards them. He caught my wrist, keeping me from moving. I turned and punched him hard in the face, causing him to fall. Regret filled me, but I didn't care. When I turned back, Landon had Dimitri pinned on the ground. Dimitri was fighting hard, but he was losing.

"Landon… please, don't do this." I begged him. I'd already lost Landon. I couldn't bear the thought of losing Dimitri too. I loved him. It was now that I was able to see that. I knew there was only one way I was going to be able to stop this, and I knew I had to act fast. Landon's knee was against Dimitri's throat now, cutting off his air. I wanted to scream, but I had to keep myself composed long enough.

"Landon… stop. I'll go with you." I said. Everything in the world froze. So much was resting on this one moment. When Landon stood and turned to look at me, Dimitri coughed and started breathing normally again.

"You're bluffing." He snarled. He was still in battle mode, attack mode.

"It doesn't have to be like this. You don't have to hurt anyone here. I'm what you want… I'll go with you." I told him.

"Rose, what are you doing-." Adrian said.

"Shut it." I snapped behind me. "I'm sorry that this happened to you, and it's my fault. This is the only way I can think to make up for it." Dimitri's eyes met mine from the ground. He knew what I was staging, what I was trying to get him to do. I had Landon locked on me, not paying attention to anything else. "You're right. We belong together. I'm too strong to be a dhampir. I want to be lethal and deadly too." The smile that lit up his face was one of the most terrifying, but beautiful things I felt like I'd seen in forever. I knew I'd be the last time I'd see him smile.

"I love you, Rose." He said. The words sent shivers down my spine. I stepped closer to him, and touched his face. _Last chance, Rose. _I told myself. I leaned forward and kissed his lips softly, making him believe me completely. When I met his eyes, I smiled the saddest smile that had probably ever been on my face.

"I love you too, Landon. Always remember that." The moment the rest of the words were out of my mouth, Dimitri drove his stake through Landon's back, connecting immediately. I watched as the life drained from my best friends face. He fell forward and into my arms, as Dimitri yanked his stake out of him. I sank to the ground with him in my arms, sobbing softly into his chest. He was still wearing the same clothes from the night of our date. The red rim around his pupils disappeared along with any form of life on his face. He was gone, really gone this time.

"Roza… I'm sorry-." Dimitri murmured. I shook my head. He had no reason to apologize. I wanted to tell him that, but every time I opened my mouth to speak, all that came out was a sob. I was covered in blood as I held him in my arms. I didn't care. It didn't matter anymore. I would have preferred him to be dead… really dead over being strigoi. I would take death over that fate any day of the week. Regardless, he was still my best friend, and this time… I'd watched him die, held him as the life drained from his body. I didn't know where I was supposed to go from here, what I was supposed to do. I just stroked his hair, and stared down into his lifeless face. Even in death, he was still the same cute faced boy he'd always been. It was then I remembered what I'd read in his journal, what he was planning the night of our date. I was willing to bet he still had the ring on him. I patted his pocket, and felt something inside and reached in to feel something that was shaped like a ring. When I pulled it out, it was very obviously a wedding ring.

"I'll wear it for you." I whispered, before pressing my lips to his forehead. I slid it onto my finger, and looked up to see Dimitri staring down at me. He looked horrible. I could tell he'd taken some pretty hard hits, and it was easy to see he was just now starting to breathe normally. It was then I realized that he was alive, he was still here, and he needed me. I needed to be worried about him. I had to accept that I couldn't change what happened to Landon, but I could change what happened with Dimitri. I forced Landon's dead body off my lap, and stood up.

"Adrian-." I said, wiping my face. I motioned to him, but Dimitri shook his head.

"No… I'm fine, really."

"Dimitri… don't play the tough guy now." I said. Adrian walked over, and started to reach for him, when Dimitri stepped away, and shook his head. "Dimitri, stop… now. This is not-." He cut me off.

"I'm fine. It's just a bruise and some cuts, I'll live." 'He said.

"Dimitri, he had your wind pipe crushed. I think there's a little more damage than what's just on the outside. Let him heal you." He shook his head.

"I will live. You didn't let him heal you." I stepped closer and took his face in my hands.

"Please…do this for me. I can't take losing you too-." I said, softly. "Please…" He stared down at me for a second.

"Fine." He murmured. I smiled a thank you, but said nothing. Adrian laid his hand on Dimitri's forearm and closed his eyes. I saw the jolt in Dimitri's body as he started using his magic on him. Dimitri's eyes were solely on me the entire time. When Adrian pulled away, Dimitri smiled at him.

"Thank you." He murmured. Adrian nodded.

"You're welcome." Adrian said.

"I have to call the alchemist to come take care of this."

"No… we should take him to Valarie, where they can have a real ceremony for him." I said. "I don't want you calling them to sprinkle something on him so he withers away to dust." The words came out harsher than I'd intended. I hadn't realized that tears were still leaking from my eyes.

"Rose, I don't think that's going to be really good for Valerie. She was having a hard time with him being dead. Could you imagine what it would do to her knowing he was strigoi? That her innocent grandson was out doing God knows what?"He asked.

"Dimitri, she has a right to know."

"Think of what it's going to do to you, Rose? You watched him die this time. Magnify what you're feeling right now, times twenty, that's what it would do to her. Do you want that for her? For his family?" He asked me. I stared down into the lifeless face of a boy I'd once known. Dimitri's words were hard, and they cut me deep, but I didn't let him notice.

"I'm… numb. I don't feel anything anymore." I murmured softly.

"Do you honestly want that for her?"

"No…" I answered simply. I turned and walked away, not knowing where I was going. I realized that Adrian had disappeared, probably going to sleep due to so much spirit use. I just needed to be away from this place.

"Rose… wait… I'm sorry. I don't mean to be harsh. I just-." I shook my head.

"I've lost him twice now." I said, still not facing him.

"I know you have. Do you want to make his family have to lose him twice too?" He asked. I shook my head.

"I wouldn't want to put anyone through this again." I whispered. "I'm the one who deserves to live with this. They don't."

"No one deserves this." He said. I felt him approaching me from behind. He was right behind me, but I didn't turn. "You didn't do this to him."

"I know… but I let it happen." I said, sadly. I couldn't help but blame myself. Who else was there to blame?

"You didn't ask for this to happen to him. You did all that you could, if not more."

"I could have done more. I could have stopped it." I said.

"What? Then, or now? While he was trying to kill me?" He asked. I knew he was asking me if I'd have rather lost him just now, than Landon have to full die.

"Then." I whispered. He obviously could see how his words affected me, because it was like everything he said just cut me down a little further. He leaned down, and laid his chin on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Roza. I'm not trying to be hurtful, I'm just-." I cut him off with a nod.

"I know." I stated simply.

"Come on, let's get you inside."

"Don't you have to call the-?" I started. He nodded.

"I will." He said. "Come on." He took my hand and led me back inside. The sun was starting to rise now. I knew strigoi couldn't go out in the sun so I only imagined what that'd do to Landon's body. I didn't want to think about it, and I sure as hell didn't want to see it. Dimitri made a five minute phone call and then led me into his room.

"Are they coming?" I asked.

"It's taken care of." He murmured.

"Why'd you bring me in here?" I was looking around, drinking in everything about his room once again. I'd never admit it out loud, but I loved when he brought me here. It felt like home.

"You're sleeping in here tonight."

"Why?" I asked, confused.

"This is the second time I've almost lost you to a strigoi, Roza. I just need you close by tonight." He said. The warmth of his words made my heart smile. I just nodded once, knowing I could refuse an offer like that. He changed his clothes, and came out in nothing but a wife beater and shorts. I had to keep my eyes on the ground. He came out with a wet wash cloth, and started wiping Landon's blood off my body. When his fingers left the rag and dragged across my skin, it took everything I had to hold onto any kind of self control within me. He then lifted my hands to look at my palms. They were pretty bad off from where I'd hit the ground. He wiped them, and put some medicine on them before wrapping them.

"All better." He murmured.

"Thank you… for doing this."

"My pleasure, I assure you." He touched my leg before he stood up, sending this fire through my veins. He threw the rag in the clothes hamper, and sat back down beside me. I lay back, groaning. The tears had ceased, but it didn't take away the memories of kissing Landon, but watching Dimitri drive the stake straight through his back. I'd had a hand in both of his deaths, and now… he was really gone. No stopping it anymore, no going back. It was done. "You okay?" He asked, leaning back and propping himself up on his elbow.

"I'm fine." I murmured. I looked over at him to see his eyes were going from my chest, to my mouth, my body, and back to my eyes. When he leaned closer, I knew what he was doing, what he was asking, and I wasn't about to tell him no… not here, and not now. He touched my face, and then pressed his soft lips to mine. Even in spite of all the death and destruction around us, it seemed like this was perfection. It was moments like this that I shared with him that made all of it almost worth it. I moved closer to him, almost putting myself on top of him. I knew this was wrong, but it felt oh so right, how could I not? I ran my hand down his bare arm. His fingers left sparks where he touched. I finally forced myself away.

"We can't…" I murmured. I sat up, and shook my head.

"Hey… no, you're right. I'm sorry, I just-." I turned and pressed a sweet kiss to his lips cutting off what he was going to say.

"No… Don't apologize. It isn't that I don't-." I stopped when he smiled at me.

"Let's just get some sleep." He said. I nodded.

"Alright." I scooted back, and we both got comfortable. There was a long silence, where no one said anything. I knew he was still awake, because his breathing was shallow, and he was moving around a lot. "Dimitri…" I whispered. I'd been waiting to do this for what seemed like forever. I knew it was now or never, and right now… I had the balls to do it.

"Yes?" I took a deep breath.

"I love you." I whispered into the darkness. I felt his hand find mine, as his fingers brushed against my leg. He squeezed my hand.

"I love you too Roza." There was a long silence after this. I didn't know what to say, or where to go from here, so I just laid there, staring up at the ceiling. I attempted to close my eyes and let sleep find me, but I knew that was going to be next to impossible since every time I closed my eyes all I saw was Landon and I's last kiss, and then Dimitri driving the stake through his back. It had to be done I know, and the world was better off one less strigoi, but he was my strigoi. He was my best friend regardless of everything else. It still stung. The wound from thinking he was dead was still fresh and open, and this was just like pouring salt into it. I felt a lone tear run down my cheek, but almost as if he sensed something was wrong, he rolled over and laid an arm across my stomach, pulling me closer to him. I laid my hand against his chest.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine now." I murmured, splaying my fingers to feel more of his perfect body. I felt him press a kiss to my forehead, and sigh.

"I don't know what I would have done if I'd have lost you today." He whispered.

"I honestly thought I was dead. I wouldn't have been able to kill him, Dimitri. I remembered what you said about them not being who they used to be, and that they were monsters, but I just wouldn't have been able to do that." I said, shaking my head.

"Hey… Shh. I know, and I wouldn't have expected you too this soon in the game. Being able to do that comes with time, and you were attached to him. It's harder that way, I know. It doesn't matter now. It's over, and we don't have to worry about it anymore." He told me.

"I'll miss him."

"And I know you will, but you've got to move on. You've also got to look at the bright side. We saved him." He said.

"Saved him?" I asked. "We killed him."

"You saved him from a fate he never would have wanted, Roza. He was kind, and a sweet person, you know that. Being a strigoi turned him into just the opposite, and he would have never wanted that for himself. He would have rathered been dead that out killing people just for the sake of killing. That wasn't Landon, and you know that." He said. I nodded, knowing he was right. Landon would have preferred death over being a strigoi.

"If I ever get turned into a strigoi, Dimitri…. I want you to kill me." I said, into the darkness. I felt his body tense under my hands.

"That's never going to happen. A strigoi is never going to get their fangs that close to you… ever." He said, his voice hard.

"I'm serious, Dimitri."

"So am I. I'm not going to ever let one of those things hurt you." He told me, burying his head into my collar bone.

"I'm going to be gone from here soon. You can't protect me forever." I said, softly. I didn't really want to think about what it would be like when I left him, when I left this place. I didn't know how I'd function without someone sturdy like him in my life.

"I… I don't want to think about that right now." He said.

"Dimitri, you've got to face that I'm leaving in a few months."

"I know I do. It's not that it bothers me so much that you leaving as it does… I won't be able to protect you." He told me.

"I'll be fine… the academy has wards." I said.

"Wards that are staked and can be staked at any time." He retorted back.

"By the time we're done here, I'll be trained enough where I could take out a few strigoi if I needed to. Dimitri, this is what I'm training for."

"I know."He said. I yawned, and snuggled closer to him. "Goodnight, Rose."

"Night Dimitri." I whispered, before closing my eyes and falling asleep, drinking in his scent, and the feel of him on my skin.


	33. Prepared!

When I woke the next morning, Dimitri had his arm across my stomach. I turned my head to find him still sleeping soundly. He looked so peaceful. It made him look so young. It was nice to see him look so at peace. I felt like I hadn't seen any other expression on his face other than the guardian mask he wore so very often. I lifted his arm, going to attempt to get out of bed without waking him. I moved him very slowly, trying not to make anything to sudden. I laid his arm across his own chest, and slowly maneuvered out of the bed. When my feet hit the ground, the floor creaked, and I winced, turning back to him. He hadn't moved. I walked slowly to the door and slipped out, closing it behind me. When I turned to move out of the doorway, I looked up to find Adrian. I jumped, and placed a hand over my mouth to keep from screaming.

"Woah, take it easy there… It's just me." He said.

"Sorry… I wasn't expecting anyone to be awake yet."

"I woke up earlier than normal, what were you doing in Dimitri's room?" He asked me. I then realized I wasn't sure what I should tell him. I'd never come up with a story in case I got caught coming out of Dimitri's room.

"He took me in there last night after everything happened, hoping to calm me down, and we started talking and I fell asleep. I didn't know I'd fallen asleep until just a few minutes ago when I woke up." I said. Adrian gave me this knowing look, as if he knew I was lying. He didn't call me out on it though, which surprised me, since I called Adrian out on just about everything.

"How are you doing?" He finally asked.

"I'm… coping. It's all I can do."

"I guess you're right." He said.

"How are you doing? I know healing normally wears Lissa out, so."

"I'm fine. I was just tired."

"I'm sorry I hit you yesterday." I said, touching his face. I hadn't noticed the bruising until he moved, his face coming more into the light.

"It's not a big deal. I should have known better than try to restrain you." He said, chuckling lightly. I smiled.

"I really am sorry. I didn't plan on hitting you." I told him. He laughed.

"Yeah, but I guess after everything… I kinda deserved it." I rolled my eyes.

"Adrian, if I wanted to hit you, I would have hit you. What happened last night was out of my control." I assured him. He nodded.

"I know, I'm just teasing." He went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water, and went back to his room. I made myself a cup of coffee and started to sit down at the table, when I changed my mind. I stood and started towards the back door. When I walked out, my eyes scanned the darkness, adjusting to the difference. I looked across the track to where Landon's dead body had once been. I walked towards the spot on the track, and when I reached it, I found the blood stain on the track. Other than that, there wasn't any trace of Landon left. I stared down at the red stain for a second, before I heard footsteps coming up behind me. I turned to find Dimitri still dressed in his sleep clothes. I smiled.

"Goodmorning." I said.

"Hey… you worried me when I woke up and you were gone."

"Sorry…" I said, not really knowing what else to say.

"It's okay. How are you doing this morning?" He asked.

"I'm coping." I gave him the same answer I gave Adrian.

"It's all you can do, I guess." I looked down at my hand, with Landon's mothers ring on it and smiled. I'd always have a piece of him with me.

"I'll make it. He'd want me to move on. I know he would." I said.

"He would. He was always so proud of everything you did. You have to continue to make him proud."

"I will."

"Well, in that case… would you like to practice this morning, or are you not up for that?" He asked.

"I think the question is are you up for it? You were the one that had your windpipe crushed last night." He chuckled.

"I recover quickly. Plus, Adrian healed me. I'm in tip-top shape." He said.

"Yeah, that's what the bruise on your throat says." I told him, touching his neck. There was a very distinct knee mark.

"It's just a mark. It doesn't hurt anymore." I stepped closer to him and stood up on my tip toes, pressing a kiss to the dark mark on his neck. When I stepped back, his eyes closed for a second, before he opened them back to look at me.

"I'll take it easy on you." I teased. He smiled.

"Go get dressed, and meet back out here in thirty minutes." He told me. I nodded once, and walked around him, heading back into the house and upstairs. I got a quick shower, and changed into some workout clothes, before heading back downstairs. I grabbed a bottle of water, and headed back outside. He was unrolling mats and setting up dummies when I walked out. I just stood back and admired him. He was truly beautiful. Trying to pretend that I didn't love Dimitri was like trying to pretend I didn't have to breathe. In the end, I was going to have to give in to it no matter what. It was like I didn't even have a choice. I stood there for awhile, before he realized I was watching and looked up.

"It's rude to stare." He informed.

"I wasn't staring. I was observing." I said, taking a few steps forward.

"Observing what?"

"How beautiful you are." I answered simply. That hadn't been what I was planning on saying. I'd been planning on a witty Rose Hathaway quip, but instead… you're beautiful came flooding out of me. I sighed.

"Well… thank you." He murmured. There was a light flush on his face, although I was almost positive he'd never admit it. I walked over to where he'd unrolled the mat, and sat my water bottle on the sidewalk. I sat down and stretched my bones popping and cracking as if I were forty years old. It was pretty disgusting. Dimitri was looking at me, eyebrows raised.

"Been awhile, huh?" He asked. I nodded.

"I guess so. I've been slacking." I said. I wasn't going to bring up that maybe Landon would still be alive if I hadn't been 'slacking' so much. I think he knew that was where my thoughts were when his eyes found my face, because he looked down. My eyes fell to the ring I wore on my left hand.

"We might have to practice a little more often to get you caught up before you… uhm, go back to the academy." Regardless of everything he'd said… I sincerely wondered how tough it was going to be for him when I did leave. He put on a good face, but I knew it was going to be harder for him that he let on. I still wasn't sure what it was going to do to me yet either, and it was still a whole two and a half months away. Dimitri was my solid ground when things got rough. Although I had Lissa back at the academy, I don't think I could ever have someone support me and help me through so much the way Dimitri did. Thinking about that made me realize that maybe I was getting myself in a little too deep. Especially if I was going to be shipped away in two and a half months, and I'd probably never see him again. Regardless, I stood up.

"You ready?" He asked. I nodded.

"Let's go." I motioned him forward, and smiled. I wasn't going down without a fight this time. I had a lot of pent up aggression and anger, and I think he knew that. I think that was why he suggested this. Instead of having an outburst of darkness, he was going to allow me to take it out on him. I lunged at him, causing him to stumble. We exchanged blows for what seemed like ever, before he kicked my feet out from under me. I wasn't going down that easily. I knew my only way out of this was to cheat, so before he could pounce on me, I rolled off the mat, giving myself time to get up. He growled at me.

"That's cheating."

"I've never been one to play fair, Belikov." I wasn't really sure if I'd intended the innuendo, or if it was just there. He smiled as I stood up. I stepped back onto the mat, and he tried to take me down again. I jumped over his movement, and kicked him in the back of the leg, causing him to stumble and fall. I pounced quickly, knowing it was my only chance. He fought against me, and we rolled back and forth, one trying to be in control of the other. He was stronger than me, but when it came to this, I was quicker. He ended up on top of me, but before he could press his hands to my chest, I jabbed him hard right where his heart would be. He was shocked, because he definitely wasn't expecting it. It made me proud that I'd caught him completely off guard. He stared down at me for the longest time, before smiling.

"That was great, Rose."

"I'm often capable of greatness." I admitted. He chuckled slightly.

"I'm very aware." He said. He reluctantly stood up, and offered me a hand. I smirked as I took it. He obviously realized what I was planning, because he planted his feet to keep me from pulling him back down. I laughed as I allowed him to help me up. I took a minute to recuperate before I took my stance once again, and we circled. I pretended to lunge, and he bought it. He stumbled forward but came up short when I disappeared. I kicked his legs out from under him, but before I could jump on him, he rolled off the mat. I growled. When he did it, it was cheating. He smiled as he stood up.

"Nice try, Hathaway." I rolled my eyes.

"It's cheating when you do it."

"How?" He demanded.

"Because you're better than I am, you shouldn't run from a fight." I said, cutely. He laughed.

"You took me down a few minutes ago."

"So?" I said.

"You're not exactly a bad fighter. If you can cheat, I can too." He said, sounding like a child. I smiled at how young he'd just sounded. I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever." We then started again, going round and round, blow for blow. Neither one of us could get a hand hold on the other, nor could we take the other down. We were at a stalemate, and I was not about to lose this one. He swung a punch one time, and I caught it in the stomach, I'll admit it hurt, but not as much as I made it seem. I winced and grabbed my stomach, gagging for added affect. He immediately froze, and rushed forward.

"God, I'm sorry. Are you okay?" He asked, reaching for me. I kicked his legs out from under him and placed my hands over his chest before we even hit the ground. I couldn't help but giggle at my tactic.

"That was low… even for you."

"I didn't see it going anywhere, so I had to do something." I said.

"I thought I really hurt you." He growled.

"It did kind of hurt, but not as bad as I lead on." I said. He laid a hand over my stomach.

"Brat." He muttered.

"I never claimed to be anything less." It was then I was caught in the raging rivers of chocolate that were his eyes. I found myself lost, and suddenly unaware of everything around me. I wanted to kiss him. His lips were warm and inviting, and I swear they were calling my name. It was then, I had to pull myself out of this trance, which was almost as difficult as pulling myself out of Lissa's head when she was feeling something very strongly.

"Sorry… I kinda blanked out for a second." I said, standing up. I helped him up, and shook my head, as I collected myself.

"You sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine." I assured him. I helped him clean up, and headed back inside. I went upstairs and changed out of my work out clothes and walked back downstairs to find Adrian and Dimitri chatting.

"I don't know, Adrian."

"Come on. Tatiana is encouraging it. She'd love to meet the novices here." He said.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Dimitri being difficult." Adrian said, turning around to smile at me.

"What else is new?" I asked, winking at him. Dimitri rolled his eyes.

"I'm not being difficult. I just don't know if it's a good idea. I mean, after what happened with Landon…" Dimitri trailed off, his eyes falling on me. I still winced at his name when he was brought up.

"What are we talking about exactly?"

"Dimitri, we're going to be at court. It's heavily guarded, and there are wards. The odds of it happening again are slim to none I assure you." He said. Dimitri sighed.

"You seem so sure."

"I'm one hundred percent positive." Adrian told him.

"Hello, would anyone like to answer my question instead of pretending I haven't spoken?" I asked, harshly.

"Tatiana is throwing a ball at Court, and she's encouraged all of the novices here at the estate to attend." He told me. I turned to Dimitri.

"It sounds like a good idea to me." I told him.

"You would think so."

"Dimitri, most of the novices here haven't left since the bus dropped them off. I've been fortunate enough to leave the estate. I'm sure they're tired of sitting here. It'll be a good experience for them. I don't think it's a big deal." He said.

"I just keep thinking that-."

"It isn't going to happen again." I said, voice grave.

"I don't know if I'm willing to take that chance. I know there are wards, and I know that it's a lot safer than what happened with you and Landon, but I thought you were prepared, and you weren't. I don't want to over-estimate something again." He said.

"I was prepared." I said, harshly. I felt like he'd slapped me. I think I would have preferred the physical hit.

"Rose, that isn't what I meant."

"No, it's fine." I said, my voice still hard. Adrian patted my hand.

"I still say it's a good idea." Adrian said.

"I'll talk to the other guardians." He informed Adrian. Adrian nodded. I turned and started for the stairs. I wouldn't ever admit it, but Dimitri's words had cut me a little deeper than expected. I started for the stairs when he called after me. "Rose… I really didn't-." I cut him off with a shake of my head as I started up them. I heard Adrian's voice from the stairs.

"You have a way with words, don't you Belikov."

"I didn't mean it like that. It was just the way it came out. I knew she was prepared. I made sure of it before I let her go." He told him. I stood there for a second, listening before walking into my room. Maybe he was right. Maybe I wasn't prepared to take on a strigoi. What if I wasn't ever prepared? What if I can't protect Lissa like she needs, and all of this shit I've gone through, this training is for nothing? All these negative things kept running through my mind, and at that point I didn't know what to do. I sat down on my bed, and thought about what a ball at court would be like since I'd never been to one. It was then the realization hit me. The one person I would have asked to be my date was…. For lack of a better term… unavailable. I looked down at my hand to the ring on my finger. I smiled.

"I miss you." I whispered softly. I closed my eyes, and in a distant voice, it was almost like I heard him say he missed me too.


	34. Nothing Left!

**A/N: Wooo, I know it's been forever guys and I'm super duper sorry. I've had a lot of stuff going on lately and I haven't been home alot. I've had a bunch to deal with in school and stuff too, so I've just been uber busy. Plus, I had to update the Advice column a little too. Anyway, I'm back, and we're rolling again. Remember to review, and let me know whatcha think. ;) **

It had been a week since Landon's death. A week since I'd watched a boy I considered to be my best friend get staked in the back, and I'd helped. It'd been tough but I'd pushed through, regardless. I started training again. This time, I didn't hold back. I trained harder than I'd ever trained in my life. I was going to make sure before I left here to go back to St. Vladimir's that I was ready for anything, and could take any strigoi out with ease. There wouldn't be another Landon incident. I was making sure of that. I trained harder and longer than I ever had before. Every day, I trained for an extra three hours, leaving me exhausted. Most of my days consisted of waking up, training, eating, showering, and sleeping. I'd become addicted to training. It wasn't necessarily that I enjoyed it, but I knew it had to be done, for the sake of Lissa, and for my own sanity. Dimitri knew I was pushing myself to the limit. He knew I was straining myself and my body during training. I'd never pushed myself so hard in anything… ever. After about four hours of training on Friday, I'd worn myself into the ground. Dimitri called to me before I walked inside.

"Hey Rose, can I talk to you for a second?" He asked. I'd noticed how rigid he'd become. Our relationship had gone back to strictly mentor and student. I didn't think he liked that very much. I turned and nodded.

"Yeah, what's up?" I asked, walking back over to where he was standing. He sat down on the sidewalk and looked up at me.

"What are you doing, Rose?"

"What do you mean, what am I doing?" I asked him. His question confused me.

"Rose, you're going to end up killing yourself if you keep training like this."

"What do you mean, I'm busting my ass. I'm trying to be a good guardian, why would you-."

"Look at yourself Rose, you look horrible. You're covered in bruises from all the training you've been doing. You look like you've lost a lot of weight. You're going to end up hurting yourself." He told me. I rolled my eyes.

"Being a guardian doesn't come without sacrifice." I snapped at him.

"Rose, if you keep this up, you won't make it to being a guardian. You'll be in the hospital." He said. I sighed.

"Dimitri, I'm fine. I don't know what you're talking about." I said. He stood up, anger clear on his face. He grabbed my arm and I winced. He moved the sleeves of my long sleeve shirt, to reveal the bruises from the extensive training I'd been forcing myself through. He reached down, and lifted the brim of my shirt revealing my black and blue stomach. He let his fingers trace across the blue patches and frowned. His fingers caused goosebumps to rise on my skin. I laid my hand over his and slowly pulled it away from my skin and pulling my shirt down. He didn't let go of my hand though.

"It's my fault. I knew what you were doing. I should have stopped this." He told me. I shook my head.

"I'm trying to be the best I can be Dimitri." I said.

"No, you're going to run yourself into the ground trying to be something that only comes with time. Rose, you've got almost another month here. I'm not going to let you leave without knowing you're ready. You don't have to put your body through this."

"You don't understand, and I don't expect you to… I just need too-." He cut me off.

"You're being reckless and I can't have you hurt, Rose. I just can't."

"I'm fine, and I'll be fine. I'll heal. It doesn't even hurt." I lied. He reached forward and touched my stomach, causing me to wince.

"Rose…" He said.

"I'm fine. I don't need you to baby me."

"Well, right now you're acting like a child." He said. I felt like he'd hit me.

"Who are you now? My mother? Gonna tell me to grow up? Act my age?" I asked, rage filling me.

"Rose, don't do-."

"No, it's fine. Really." I said, turning to walk away.

"Rose, don't walk away." I didn't say anything, I kept walking. I heard his footfalls like he was running and he stopped in front of me, cutting me off. "Roza, I'm trying to help you. I hate seeing you like this. I know what it is you're trying to do, because I've been here. In the exact some place you are now."

"You have?" I murmured.

"When Ivan died, who do you think I blamed? Myself… if I'd have been there, I could have protected him. I then launched myself into the most hardcore training sessions I'd ever witnessed because I wanted to be better. I didn't want to take the chance of someone else dying on my account. I didn't need more blood on my hands. I ran myself into the ground, Rose. I'm not going to let the same thing happen to you. I blamed myself for Ivan's death even though everyone said it wasn't my fault, and you're doing the same with Landon. You've got to let go, and move on… but not like this. I won't let you do this to yourself."

"I don't know what else to do anymore." I said, looking away. He pulled my face back to look at him.

"All this energy and all this guilt that's driving you to do this…. You have to put it into something else, something that isn't going to wear you down like this, or hurt you."

"What am I going to do? Write a book? Knit? This is all I know Dimitri." I said, motioning to the mats and the track.

"But you don't have to do it like this. Rose, go look in the mirror and tell me what you honestly see. A guardian, or a broken girl?"

"I am not… nor will I ever be broken, Dimitri. No one can break me… I'm a Hathaway. It doesn't work that way." I said.

"You can only stay together so long, and endure so much before you break…. Remember that." He said. I growled and narrowed my eyes at him before I turned around and walked away. I walked upstairs and into my room slamming the door hard. It helped ease some of the anger I was feeling. I went into the bathroom, and got a shower and threw my hair up. As I walked past the mirror, I stopped… Dimitri words echoed through my head. Do I really see a broken girl, or a guardian? The broken look I'd seen in my eyes after Landon's death had faded, but now… it was back. It was different this time though. It was more haunting than it was guilt. It was sadness, a feeling of being so alone that I've never seen in anyone's eyes before. It was scary. I suddenly felt horrible for the way I'd acted to Dimitri. He'd been right about everything, like he so often was. I sighed. I put on a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top, and headed downstairs. When I reached his room, I knocked softly. It was possible he was asleep, because the house was silent. He opened the door wearing nothing but a pair of cotton sleep pants.

"Rose? What is it?" He asked. The moment he spoke, a tear leaked down my cheek.

"You were right." I whispered.

"About what?"

"I am broken." I murmured. I then stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him. He pulled me into his room, and shut the door behind him. He walked me over to the chair in the corner and sat me down, knelling down in front of me.

"What are you talking about?"

"You asked me earlier, when I looked in the mirror if I saw a guardian, or just a broken girl. I am the broken girl, Dimitri. You were right. I've lost all connection to what I once was. I was strong, beautiful. I was fierce and didn't back down from anything…. But now… now I'm nothing. I'm useless." I said, shaking my head.

"No… no, you're not useless. Roza, you are amazing." He told me.

"I'm not. I was once so confident, and so proud of myself. I was the girl to beat, always. Now, I've just let life beat me." I whispered, defeated. He took my face in his hands, and met my eyes.

"Rosemarie Hathaway, you are perfect. You are beautiful and strong-willed. Sometimes you drive me insane with how hard-headed you are, but you are so amazing. You really have no idea how strong you are. How strong you keep me." He told me. I shook my head and stood up, walking away from him. I couldn't bare him telling me all these things when I didn't believe any of them.

"You're wrong. You have too much faith in me. I'm not any of those things." I said. I stood with my back to him, facing his window. I heard his foot falls slowly close in behind me. With each step he took, the tension grew more and more until he was right behind me. I felt his breathing get closer and closer to my skin until his lips lingered on the side of my neck. He pressed a kiss to the side of my neck, moving his lips down my neck to my collar bone, pressing another kiss there.

"No, you're wrong. You're beautiful, Roza. You're so beautiful it hurts me. It makes my body ache knowing how much I want you and can't have you, because you are strong, you are beautiful, and you're an incredible woman who I'd do anything for." He murmured.

"Dimitri…" I almost moaned. I turned slowly to face him. I knew it was a bad move, but right now… I needed this, and more than anything, I needed him. The moment his eyes met mine, he placed a hand on my neck, playing with my hair. I leaned forward, and the moment our lips met… everything else melted away. All the pain I was in, all the suffering I'd been going through, it just vanished, like everything had been perfect from the very start. He turned me, and pushed me back a step, causing me to fall back on his bed. I knew where this was going, but I needed this. I needed him. He fell over me, so I grabbed him, scooting back on his bed and pulled him with me. He knotted his fingers into my hair, as his lips moved perfectly in sync with mine. Any other night I would have objected to this, but tonight… I needed him. I needed to feel some kind of emotion other than the brokenness I was feeling, and this was it. I ran my hands through his long thick hair, clutching it in my hands. He ran his hand underneath my shirt, letting his fingers trace my skin where the bruising was. He ran his hands up my body, pushing the shirt up along with it, until he pulled it off over my head. He looked down at the bruises, and frowned.

"Roza…" He whispered. I shook my head.

"I'm okay. It'll heal. I'm strong, remember?" I said, before touching his face. He moved down my body, before his face lingered over my stomach. I knew where this was going, and I knew it was going to end badly, but I couldn't force myself to make him stop. He leaned down, never taking his eyes off mine, and pressed a kiss to the darkest set of bruises. I strangled a slight moan, before he pressed more lush kisses to my skin. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed him, pulling him back up to me, pressing my lips to his again, knotting one hand into his hair, running the other down the smooth skin of his chest. I could see where this was going, but I couldn't force myself to stop. I knew how wrong this was, I knew how much trouble I could get into, how much trouble I could get him into. That was like a cold bucket of water being thrown on me. If anyone ever found out about this, I'd never become a guardian, and Dimitri would be put in jail, his guardian status revoked, and all for what? A fling with a novice who was a few months shy of being eighteen. I pushed him away, and sat up, dazed and confused from the adrenaline pumping through my veins.

"What? Did I?"

"We shouldn't be doing this." I murmured, my voice very monotone. What we should be doing, and what I wanted were two opposite things.

"What are you-? I thought-." He started, but didn't know how to finish. He finally gave up.

"It isn't you… It's…Dimitri; I can't do this and take the risk of you getting into trouble."

"I'm not worried about getting-." He started, moving back towards me as if to kiss me again. I placed my hand against his lips, shaking my head.

"If anyone finds out about us, about this… I'll never become a guardian, and your guardianship will be evoked and you'll be put in jail. Dimitri, that isn't something I want for you."

"It's a chance I'm willing to take." He said, defiantly.

"But I'm not… I'll never forgive myself if I get you into that kind of trouble." I murmured, trying to get out of his bed. "This was wrong of me… and I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, please. Don't pretend like this isn't what you want." He said, grabbing my hand as my feet hit the floor.

"What I want and what I should do are two different things, Dimitri. You need to realize that too."

"I know the difference between right and wrong, Rose. I've just spent far too long doing what was right, and not listening to my heart. I'm listening now, and all it wants is you." He told me.

"We can't do this. We can't be anymore than mentor and student. I was stupid to come here, to let this happen again. I'm only making this harder for you, and I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing." He yelled at me. I jumped as his voice boomed off his bedroom walls. I'd never heard him yell like that before. "I love you, Rosemarie Hathaway. I don't care what other people see as right and wrong. I've never felt this way about anyone ever, and if they could honestly understand… they'd know that this was right. What we have is something special, Roza. It's something that no one can take away."

"Dimitri, don't do this… just let it go." I begged. He made it harder for me than he'd ever realize.

"I won't. I've told you before… I won't let this go."

"And I'll tell you again… you'll only end up being disappointed." I whispered. His hand fell from my arm, as he sat on his bed. The look of hurt in his eyes broke my heart. I knew if I didn't leave now, I'd curl myself up in his bed by his side and never leave him. I had to be strong. I had to do what was right, and I knew this was it…. Was it? I didn't really know anymore. My perception of right and wrong were a little foggy these days. With each step I took towards his door, I felt another piece of my heart break. By the time I took two steps out the door, there was nothing left.


	35. Forever Yours

The next morning, I really didn't want to go to practice. I wanted to stay curled up in my bed forever, never having to face him again after what happened last night. When I finally forced myself out of bed, and got ready, I was already ten minutes late. When I went downstairs, Dimitri was coming inside.

"Coming to pull me out of bed?" I asked him. He wouldn't meet my gaze.

"No, I was coming in from a morning run. You can go back to bed, we're not practicing today." He said, his voice monotone, no inflection at all. I gave him a look.

"What do you mean no practice today? It's Wednesday." I said.

"I know what day it is." He said, snarkily.

"What's with you this morning?" I asked him_. Stupid question_. And I honestly don't know what willed me to ask it. Regardless, he didn't answer, he just gave me one of those looks like I knew exactly what his problem was, and it was true, I did.

"We won't be practicing for the next few days." He finally said after a few moments of silence.

"I'm sorry, what?" I exclaimed. "You can't be serious. Tell me you're kidding."

"You're hurt, Rose. You don't need to be practicing." He said.

"I can't believe you're doing this to me. Because I have a few bruises, you're not going to let me train? I've only got a little over a month left, Dimitri."

"I know how long you have left, Rose." He barked. I knew he was counting down, not in the he was ready to get rid of me way, but in the I-don't-want-you-to-go way.

"This is fuckin' ridiculous." I screamed at him.

"You should have thought about that ahead of time." He said.

"Don't take out whatever anger you have towards me on my training. That's like taking it out on Lissa. I'm sorry that you're pissed at me for doing the right thing, Dimitri. I really am. You're right. I want it just as bad as you do, if not more… but there isn't anything I can do about it. This is what's right. This is the way it's supposed to be. You're handling it like a child. You tell me to grow up, but I think it's you who needs to learn their age and what comes with that." I snarled at him. I took a few deep breaths, allowing myself to calm down before I spoke again, softer this time. "I love you… and I know you love me… but that doesn't change anything."

"You're giving up because you're scared to try." He said.

"I'm giving up because there's nothing else-." I cut myself off, not wanting to do this with him in the open. I finally gave up. "I'm done arguing with you." I turned and walked out of the front door, towards the woods. I knew it'd only be a few seconds, before he followed.

"Where are you going?" He demanded.

"I don't know but I know I need to get the hell away from you." I snarled over my shoulder.

"Yeah, that's right Rose. Keep running from your problems like it's going to solve something." He chastised behind me.

"Leave me the hell alone." I growled.

"No, I don't think I will. You've got to learn to stop running from your problems."

"I can't run from my fuckin' problems because they follow me." I snapped, throwing a dirty look behind me as I ventured further and further into the forest. It was then I realized it was night time, and I was unarmed. If I'd really come out here alone, I could have easily died. Regardless, I ignored that little detail and kept walking.

"That's right. I'm going to follow you, because you need to learn that you can't keep running away from things you don't want to face. You ran from the academy, you run from me, you'll always be running if you don't learn now." I stopped and turned, swinging hard. I caught him right in the jaw.

"Don't you dare bring up me running from the academy. You know why I ran. It was necessary." I snapped. He stood up, holding his jaw, and wiping the blood that had leaked from the corner of his mouth.

"You think a lot of the things that you do are necessary, when they aren't."

"I'm so fuckin' done with you, Dimitri Belikov. Why the fuck did I think for a second that I actually wanted to be with you? I wouldn't be able to put up with your shit on a daily basis." I snapped as I continued walking.

"You just don't know what to do now that you've met your match huh? You just can't except that fact that we were made for each other. Why don't you understand that rules were meant to be broken? You said yourself that there was a time when you were fierce, a rebel. Now all of the sudden you want to follow the rules because you're afraid."

"I'm doing this for you. God damn it. I don't know what part of that you don't get. I've screwed up so many people's lives, Dimitri. I've ruined lives, had people die because of me. I won't ruin yours too. You of all people don't deserve that. I know how hard you've worked to be where you are right now, and thinking of being the one to take that away from you makes me sick to my stomach. I love you enough to let you go so I won't be the one to take all this away." I said. My eyes had gone to the ground as I finally admitted out loud what I didn't want to admit to myself. That I was a life ruiner. That I took things from people unintentionally, and screwed up things they'd worked so hard for. When I looked up, he was right in front of me. I hadn't even heard him move.

"Rose…" I looked up and met his eyes.

"You're too good to lose something like all of this over a silly teenage girl that will be gone in a month. You're better than that."

"I don't want to be better than that. I want to be with you." He said.

"We can't just-." He pressed a finger to my lips and pushed me backwards, up against a tree, before pressing his lips to mine. He knotted his fingers into my hair, clutching it in his hands, as if he couldn't get enough of me. I didn't resist the kiss. If anything, I egged it on. Before I knew it, his hands were underneath my shirt, pulling it off and over my head. I wasn't sure about anything anymore, but all I knew was that this felt right. He started to pull his shirt off as well, as I helped him, throwing it onto the ground next to mine. He ran his hands down my body, his fingers leaving goosebumps as they traced my skin. I wasn't sure what willed me forward, but whatever it was, instinct I guess, I went with it. I ran my hands down his body to the button of his pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them. He pushed them down and stepped out of them, leaving him in his boxers. I couldn't believe this was happening. Here in the woods, about a mile and a half from the estate, we were about to have sex. I was about to have sex for the first time… and it was going to be in the woods. You'd think I would have stopped this, but I'd gone too far now. He pulled the draw string on my shorts, and pushed them off of me, leaving in my pink lace underwear and bra.

"God, you're so beautiful." He whispered, as he attacked my mouth again. Somehow or another, he lowered us to the ground, laying on our pile of clothes hidden by the trees and underbrush of the forest. He didn't waste time shedding the rest of our clothes. We both knew if this was going to happen, it was going to happen now, and there wasn't any other way around it. He situated himself above me, and met my eyes.

"Have you ever-." I cut him off with a shake of my head.

"No, I haven't." I murmured, as my nail's dug into the skin of his back. I needed him. I'd never felt anything like this before, but I knew that it was all because of him. He pressed himself against the inside of my thigh.

"Are you sure this is-." I smiled.

"I've gone too far now to back out." I told him, smiling up at him.

"If this isn't what you want." He said, not finishing the sentence. I reached up and pulled his head down to my lips to I could whisper in his ear.

"Make love to me, Dimitri." That was all it took. He slowly lowered himself down into me, causing me to whimper. My nails dug even deeper into his back; as he left me adjust to his size. He wasn't necessarily lacking in the manhood department, not that I ever thought he was. He started moving slowly, creating a slow but steady pace, causing me to sigh and cry out ever two or three minutes. I'd never felt anything like this in my life. I wasn't sure if it was the sex, or if it was the fact that I actually was in love with my mentor. I couldn't deny that he was everything I'd ever wanted and more. I think it was a mixture of both, but right now… In this moment with him, nothing could have been more perfect. Even though we were on the wet ground in the middle of the woods, I knew it wouldn't have been as amazing with anyone else, anywhere else. This was the way it was meant to be. It was in this moment I realized, that I couldn't ever leave him. I knew I had a month left here, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to separate with him after. What was I supposed to do when my time here ran out? When I had to go home to Lissa and face the destiny I'd chosen for myself? Could I leave this beautiful person that completed me so well behind? I think that was almost next to impossible. I closed my eyes and savored in the last few moments, until finally we were both crashing over a white wall of ecstasy together. His body fell to mine, not being able to tell where he ended and I began. It was the way I wanted it to be from now on. I felt him shiver inside me, and I almost lost myself again. He finally forced himself up off me, laying down beside me in the grass.

"I don't even-." I cut him off by rolling over on top of him and pressing my lips to his.

"Don't talk… don't ruin this for me." I whispered.

"I don't think anything could really ruin this, Roza." He murmured, running his hand down my body, cupping one of my breasts in his hand. I giggled slightly. I always thought I'd feel uncomfortable around a guy completely naked, but I'd never felt more at home. I sighed and kissed him one last time before gathering my clothes and putting them back on. He watched me for a few minutes, before doing the same. Neither of us spoke, probably because there was nothing left to say. I loved him, he loved me. We had sex in the woods to prove that to each other, I mean… what else could we do? Elope? I shook my head at the thought.

"You okay?" He asked.

"I'm a little sore, but it's no worse than how I feel after a day of training." I admitted.

"I'm sorry if that wasn't something-."

"What did I tell you… don't ruin it for me. I wanted that, Dimitri. I needed you. Don't apologize for finally forcing me to see what I knew all along." I murmured. We walked back to the estate hand in hand, until of course we came into view from the windows, the we released each other and walked inside. Guardian Young was standing in the doorway.

"Where were you guys?" He asked.

"Combat training in the woods. I figured I should get Rose used to what it's like in strigoi territory." Dimitri said, without skipping a beat. I wondered if he'd thought of that on the way back here.

"Oh… I was kind of worried when you guys disappeared. I thought I heard yelling before you left too." He said.

"We had a disagreement. Everything's fine now." Dimitri said, smirking at me. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm going to get a shower. I'm tired. Training tends to wear me out." I tell them both. Dimitri gets the joke. Guardian Young obviously isn't in the loop. As I head for the stairs, Adrian's walking out of the hallway next to the staircase. He takes one look at me, and his eyes go wide. _Oh no. _I wondered what our aura's look like post-sex.

"Someone's in a good mood." He stated simply. He gave me a knowing look, and I knew that he knew exactly what was going on. I was royally fucked. I stood there, staring at Adrian, knowing I was at a crossroads. I just nodded once and walked around him, going upstairs. This was it. This is where it all went down. He'd say something to someone, and then they'd take me away, have Dimitri put in jail, and that'd be the end of it, nothing left to say or do. Automatically, I start packing my things, knowing it won't be long until they come for me. Maybe, just maybe I can leave before they find out. I can run again… but what will that prove? Nothing. If anything, that will just let them know I'm guilty. It wasn't long before there was a knock on my door. This was it. I slowly moved to the door to open it and find Adrian.

"Oh boy." I muttered, turning but leaving the door open.

"So, you wanna tell me why you both had auras of the same color? The color that usually means two people have just had sex?" He asked.

"Adrian, I don't know what to say to you." I admitted.

"So it really did happen?" I looked away from him. "You know how much trouble you could get into?" He asked.

"You know how much trouble we're already in cause you know? I should have known that you'd-." He cut me off.

"I'm not going to tell anyone." He said.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure it'll be great when they evict us all from here because-." I stopped, realizing what he'd just said. "I'm sorry…. What?"

"I'm not going to tell anyone. I'm a little jealous… I'll admit, but I wouldn't rat on you like that, little dhampir." He said.

"But I'm seventeen."

"And I'm twenty-one, and Landon was eighteen. Either way you went, it would have been illegal." He told me. I sighed.

"I was careless. I never even took you into consideration. I knew you'd be able to see something like that." I whispered.

"Rose, it's really not a big deal. I'm not going to tell anyone, anything. It isn't my business and if it's what you wanted… I'm not going to judge, even though I believe I'm a thoroughly better choice." I rolled my eyes.

"Get out of here, Ivashkov. I need a shower."

"Oh I bet you do." He muttered. I pushed him towards the door, before he disappeared. I showered, letting the hot water relax all the tense muscles in my body. It was like everything on my body ached, even places that shouldn't ever ache. When I got out, I got dressed and laid down in my bed, thinking of what had happened out there in the woods. I could still feel his hands on my body; still feel him pressed skin to skin with me under the soft glow of the half moon. It was one of the most beautiful moments I'd ever experienced, and I knew now… there was no going back. I was his… forever.


	36. Changes!

I tossed and turned all night, and I didn't know why. I'd been fine before I laid down. I was perfectly content, but the moment I tried to sleep, my mind began racing. I'd never begin to understand why it always happened like that. I finally got tired of rolling back and forth; fighting off things I didn't want to think of, so I got up and headed downstairs. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. I started to go back upstairs when I noticed someone outside as I passed the window. I looked out to see it was Dimitri. I debated on going out there, but I knew the conversation we'd probably have would be a disaster, so instead…. I went back upstairs and laid down, finally falling to sleep.

* * *

><p>I woke up the next morning, same time I normally did for practice. I was groggy and realized my body was extremely sore. It was then that last night's events came back to me. Dimitri and I out in the woods, bodies pressed together, one of the most beautiful moments of my life. I found that I had this stupid grin on my face. I rolled out of bed and got dressed, not sure if his 'no practice till I healed' thing was still in effect. When I walked outside, he was sitting on the sidewalk. Even after what he said about no practice, he knew I'd still come out.<p>

"So… am I still on bed rest or are you actually going to let me practice?" I asked. He looked up at me for a second before looking back down.

"We need to talk." He said, his voice somber.

"Oh boy… here we go. Can we not do this now; I just really want to practice." I said. He shook his head.

"We need to do this now. Sit down… please." He said, patting the space next to him. I did as he asked, knowing I'd regret it. "Rose, about yesterday…" He started.

"How did I know that was where this was going…" I muttered.

"Will you just let me talk, please?" He asked, standing up and pacing. I quickly shut up. "About what happened yesterday… I don't regret it. If I could go back… I wouldn't do it any differently… except maybe the location." He smiled at the ground. "Regardless, I should have thought of what I was doing. I shouldn't have been so concerned with what I wanted, over what was good for you. I'd like to apologize for not taking your needs into consideration."

"What are you talking about… I wanted-." He cut me off with a shake of his head.

"I know you did, Roza. I've been trying to convince you of that forever. Regardless, I should have thought of my actions, of the consequences to them. You're leaving in a little over a month." He said. I felt like someone had slapped me in the face. I'd always known I'd be leaving here and going back to Lissa but the thought of leaving him now, after what we'd done made my heart ache.

"I don't want to leave you." I whispered, the words barely audible.

"I know, and I don't want you to go either, but you have to finish school and you have a duty to Lissa, and I have one here." He said. I realized how right he was now. We should have thought about this.

"And if anyone ever finds out about-." He started. I cut him off.

"Adrian knows." I blurted. His face drained of all color, and his Guardian mask slipped over his face.

"You told him?" He demanded.

"No, he knew. He can see aura's since he's a spirit user, and I guess he could see it in us." His resolve shattered.

"How the hell could I have been so stupid? I should have known better. I could lose my job, go to jail." He said, pacing now, running a hand through his hair.

"He isn't going to tell anyone, I've already talked to him."

"He's an alcoholic, Rose. If he gets drunk, and upset with one of us, what's the first thing he's going to tell people?" Dimitri demanded.

"He wouldn't do that to me. He's my friend. He's your friend too, and you need to think about that." I told him.

"It was stupid. I was stupid. How did I let this happen?" He muttered to himself. I recoiled like he'd just struck me with a whip.

"What are you saying Dimitri?" I asked. He shook his head.

"Rose, this is serious. If anyone else finds out."

"No one else is going to find out, Dimitri." I snapped at him.

"I shouldn't have let this happen."

"You just said you didn't regret it." I whispered, the words sounding so small. I'd never tell him, but I had been so terrified he would say he regretted it.

"I don't, Rose. I really don't, but it was stupid for me to have let this happen. I knew the risk-."

"And for me, those risks weren't worth it, right?" I was on my feet now. His face fell at my question. That let me know his answer. "I'm out of here." I turned and started to walk away when he grabbed my wrist.

"Of course you were worth it, Roza. Think of the things we're risking though, our relationship, our jobs, our lives." He told me. I was surprised by the next words that left my mouth because I actually meant them.

"I'd give all that up for you."

"I wouldn't ask you to. Rose, listen… I know it's going to be hard, but we just-." He started.

"Can't do this anymore." I finished for him.

"I always knew this would be the outcome. I shouldn't have done this to you, and I'm sorry."

"I don't want your apologies." I said.

"Then what do you want?" He asked me. I could tell in this moment, he'd give me pretty much anything just to make me happy again.

"I just want you to leave me alone." I said. He winced like I'd hit him.

"Rose, don't-."

"I'm just…" I took a deep breath and tried again. "I'm going to pack my stuff and leave."

"You can't do that. You've got nowhere to go." He said.

"I'll find somewhere. Right now, I just need to be anywhere but here."

"Roza, stop this." He told me, as I pulled my wrist free and turned away from him, walking towards the house. The moment I reached the door, I heard him growl and heard his fist smack against something. I didn't bother turning to look. I knew if I did that I'd go running back, and there was no time for being weak here. When the door slammed behind me, it was like the door slamming on anything Dimitri and I could have had. The moment that thought entered my mind, the waterworks started. Adrian came around the corner then.

"Rose, what's wrong?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Nothing, I'm fine." I said, trying to walk upstairs. He stepped in front of me.

"You're upset. Tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help you."

"You can't." I whispered. He looked up and out the window to see Dimitri outside.

"No…" He murmured. For a moroi, he was awfully perceptive.

"I don't want to talk about it." I said, trying to walk around him. "I have to pack."

"Pack, where are you going?"

"Anywhere but here." I said, giving him the same answer I'd given Dimitri.

"Rose, don't do this. Think about what you're saying."

"I am." I snarled, before pushing past him and running upstairs. I packed everything I owned back into the duffle bags it had come here in. Tomorrow, I was leaving one way or another. I tried to sleep, but sleep just wouldn't come. I knew it wouldn't though. I tossed and turned, before getting up and pacing my room. _You can't leave him, Rose. _My heart kept screaming it at me. _It's the only way to move on. _My head retorted. I was being torn in two. That's when the sobbing started. I wasn't ever much of a crier. I'd never been a baby, but for some reason… I just couldn't stop. I heard footsteps come up the stairs, but they quickly faded, me guessing it was one of the other girls. That's when there was a knock at my door and I knew better. I got up and walked over to it, opening it slowly. The moment I was looking into those brown eyes, I turned away.

"Can I come in?"

"Your estate." I muttered, drying the tears.

"Your room." He said back. I didn't turn to look at him. He walked in, shutting the door and locking it behind him. He was making sure I couldn't run. _Ass hole. _I started picking up random items and shoving them into my duffle bags for dramatic effect. I grabbed my uniform and started to shove it into the bag, when he grabbed me. "Roza, stop this." He said, pulling me away from the bag and my bed. I yanked myself free of him.

"Why can't you just let it go, Dimitri? It's done. You've made yourself very clear. You don't want any of this. It's okay. I can take a hint." I tried to turn back around, but he grabbed me, stopping me.

"Listen to me, I want this. I want you, Roza. I really do, but-." I cut him off.

"You see. There is always going to be a 'but' in our relationship, and I can't stay here and pretend that there isn't anything between us. It'll hurt more to ignore it than to just leave and forget you all together." I said. He recoiled like I hit him.

"You're going to leave… just like that?"

"What other choice do I have?" I asked him, tears streaming down my face now. "I can't have you, Dimitri. I've known that all along, we've both known that. I don't know why we-." I got choked up and stopped. I watched as his eyes began to water.

"I love you, Roza."

"And I love you… but it doesn't change anything." I told him.

"It changes everything." He whispered, so much emotion conveyed in his voice. He reached up and touched my face, causing goosebumps to rise. I met his eyes and watched as a lone tear ran down his cheek. I felt myself slowly losing any composure I'd had. He leaned in, going to kiss me. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted him bad. I fought with my desires, with how bad my body yearned for him, and turned away.

"It doesn't change the fact that we can never be." I murmured, when his eyes met mine. I watched as the pain flooded through his features. "I meant what I said. I have to leave. I can't get in any deeper than I already am."

"Roza…" He said.

"You're not going to change my mind." I said, my voice slightly stronger. He met my eyes for a second, before turning and walking out, slamming my door behind him. I stood there, staring at the door. One part of me was hoping and praying he'd come running back and into my arms, but the other part knew it was over. I called Lissa on the phone and told her I was leaving, even though I didn't know where I was going. She was upset, and tried to talk me out of it, but I finally had to hang up on her. I felt bad that I couldn't tell her why. I finally laid back down in my bed, and tried to sleep. When sleep finally did swallow me, Adrian was prying his way in.

"Little dhampir."

"Hey…" I whispered.

"How you holding up?" He asked.

"How do I look?"

"Beautiful. You always do." I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't help but smile.

"Yeah, yeah." I muttered.

"So, I saw Dimitri a little while ago. He was pretty upset."

"I couldn't care less." I told him. Honestly, my heart lurched when he said that.

"Rose, come on now-."

"I don't want to talk about this. If you came here to guilt me into staying, it isn't going to work." I snapped at him.

"I'm not going to guilt you into staying. I'm going to go with you." My jaw dropped.

"I'm sorry… what?"

"I'm going to go with you." He said again. I laughed.

"No… you're not."

"Yeah, I am. I can't have you out there all on your own for another month until they let you back into the academy. I'll go with you. I can drive, and I have money, so I can get us a place to stay… atleast for a little while." He said. I stared at him for a second, realizing he was right. He could definitely be helpful when it came to getting out of this place.

"What's in it for you?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"Nothing."

"Adrian, don't lie to me." I snapped at him. He chuckled.

"Honestly, Rose… there's nothing in it for me other than seeing to it that you're not living out in the streets for a month." He said. I stared at him, wondering if he had some ulterior motive, but he looked genuine. I finally nodded.

"Fine… I'm leaving in the morning, around the time Dimitri and I have practice." I told him.

"I'll be packed and ready to go." He promised, before the dream world disappeared. At this point, I was already awake and I knew there was no point in trying to go back to sleep. I got up, and got dressed, getting ready for the moment I'd be leaving the man I loved behind.


	37. Manipulated!

I was running on fumes at this point. I gathered the rest of my stuff up, barely able to hold my eyes open. The only sleep I'd gotten was being in the dream with Adrian, and that was maybe a little over an hour. It wasn't long before there was a knock on the door. I expected Dimitri, but when I opened it, it was Adrian. He frowned when he saw me.

"Rose, you look like-." I cut him off.

"Shit, yeah… I'm aware. Thanks for the boost of self-confidence this morning." He rolled his eyes.

"I was gonna say you look like you haven't slept, but whatever." He told me. I sighed and nodded. He started picking up my bags, and carrying them downstairs and to whatever vehicle we were taking. I grabbed my last two bags, and started downstairs. When I reached the main room, I looked around one last time, taking everything in before walking out the front door. It was taking all I had to not turn back around and run into his room and throw myself into his arms. I made this decision; I was going to stick with it. I hadn't made it to the van when I heard the door open behind me.

"Roza… wait-." He said. I stopped, but I didn't turn around.

"Don't do this, Guardian Belikov." I said, using his title. It hurt a lot less than saying his name.

"Rose, please… You don't have to do this." I turned to him.

"You gave me no choice. This is my only option now."

"It doesn't have to be this way." He said.

"I tried to tell you in the beginning, Dimitri. I really did. I warned you, and you kept pulling me in. I'm in over my head as it is." That's when his eyes left me, and fell on Adrian as he came around the van.

"Adrian… what are you-." Adrian started to speak, but I spoke for him.

"He's going with me." I handed him my bags so he could put them in the van too. He turned, but that's when Dimitri spoke again, catching his attention.

"I thought you were my friend." He said, pain obvious in his voice. I knew what he was thinking, and that wasn't the case at all. Regardless, if it hurt him, I'd let him think that. He deserved the pain for what he was putting me through. Adrian turned to him.

"I am your friend, Dimitri. I'm also her friend, and I just can't imagine her out there… alone." He told him.

"It's more than that, and you know it." Dimitri growled.

"Believe what you want, Belikov. I'm doing this for her, not for you." Adrian said, before turning back to the van.

"Just wait for me in the van, Adrian. I'll be there in a second." Dimitri glared after Adrian as he walked away.

"It's not him your angry at. Remember that." I told him. His focus then came back to me.

"Roza, rethink what you're doing. Please, this is stupid. You're making a big deal out of nothing. We'll figure this out… just-."

"Dimitri, just give it up." I told him.

"I won't. This isn't over, Rose. It can't end like this."

"It already has." I told him. I turned back to the van, and then back to him. "I have to go."

"Where are you going?"

"I haven't quite figured that out yet. Somewhere far away from here, atleast for a little while, until I can go back to Lissa." I told him.

"She'd be upset if she knew you were leaving." He said. I decided I'd lie to him, just to throw that logic back in his face.

"She already knows, and she's fine with it." I snapped. He looked down.

"I love you." He murmured. My heart was shattering to the ground in front of me.

"I… I can't love you."

"Roza… don't." He said.

"Good-bye, Dimitri." I said, turning around and starting to the van. I heard his footsteps start towards me, but I turned around causing him to halt. "Just… Just let me go.

"I can't…" He said. I saw a tear leak down his face. I took a deep breath and walked over to him, stopping right in front of him. I reached up, and wiped the tear away before meeting his gaze full of pain.

"It's better off this way. Out of sight, out of mind." I stood on my tip toes and kissed his cheek before turning around and starting to the van. He grabbed my hand, and held it for just a second, causing me to turn to look at him. A few tears ran down my cheeks as I spoke. "Some people… they're just not meant to be, no matter how much they wish they were. Just… Let me go." His hand slowly slid from mine, and fell limply to his side. I turned around, and walked to the van, getting in and closing the door.

"You ready?" Adrian asked.

"No, but let's go." I whispered, before he pulled away from the estate. I spared one last glance in the side mirror to see Dimitri still standing there, watching the van as it disappeared. Adrian looked over at me, and patted my hand.

"You're going to be alright. You'll get through this." He promised me. I nodded.

"I know." I murmured. We drove for what seemed like forever before we made our first stop at a gas station for a bathroom break. I went in and got a soda and some food, before heading back out to the van. I threw the stuff inside, but didn't get in yet. I stood there, staring up into the sky. I wondered how he was doing, how he was adjusting if he was even trying to adjust at all. I wondered what he'd do every morning now that he didn't have to wake up at five to train me. I wondered what Eddie and the others thought now that I was gone. I wondered what kind of story Dimitri had told them as to why I'd left, if he'd even told them at all. When Adrian came out, he walked over to me.

"You alright?"

"I'm fine." I murmured. He smiled at me.

"You did the right thing, you know."

"Did I?" I asked him, looking up to meet his emerald gaze. He nodded.

"You might have saved his job, and your own. Like he said, if anyone ever found out about you two-."

"I tried to tell him. In the beginning… I really did. I warned him, and he just kept pulling and pulling until I was in over my head, and there was honestly nothing I could do." I told him. He just nodded.

"Love makes you do stupid things." He murmured, looking away from me. I could hear the subtext behind his words, but didn't actually look for the meaning.

"It does." I whispered.

"We should probably keep going. We'll have to find a hotel soon, somewhere we can sleep until morning." He told me. I nodded and we both got back into the van. We drove for a little over an hour, as Adrian talked to me about random subjects. It was nice, just listening to him talk. It took my mind off the things I didn't want to think about. It was actually nice to be able to hold a conversation with him. It was then he brought up a subject I didn't want to dive back into.

"Is that the ring you found in Landon's pocket?" He asked, motioning to my hand. It had been awhile since I'd thought about Landon, but now that it had been brought up, my heart ached for him. He could have taken this all away.

"Yes, it is." I breathed. "He was going to give it to me the night of our date… and well, he didn't get the chance."

"How do you know?" He asked me.'

"I read it in his journal that his grandmother left me." I whispered. I missed Landon. I missed him so much. He could have stopped all of this. If he was still here, he could have taken me away from Dimitri, but he left me, and now this is what I have to deal with.

"Do you miss him?" He asked, as if reading my mind.

"More than anything." He just nodded. We finally pulled into a hotel parking lot, and Adrian and I went into the lobby. We rented a room, and then walked around the building to it. We unloaded our bags in front of the door as Adrian unlocked it. When he opened the door, he flicked the lights on to reveal a rather bland room with horrible wallpaper. The first thing I truly noticed was the amount of furniture inside. There was only one bed. Adrian swore under his breath.

"I completely forgot to ask for two beds. She didn't even ask, I guess she assumed. I'll go back and-." I cut him off with a shake of my head.

"It's fine. That'll be too much trouble. I can deal with this." I told him.

"Rose… Really, I can go back and ask for two beds." He assured me. I chuckled.

"Adrian, stop freakin' out. It's fine." I told him, picking up my bags and carrying them inside. He did the same, obviously still a little uncomfortable with our sleeping arrangement. I opened my bag and pulled out a change of clothes. "I'm going to get a shower." He just nodded. I walked into the bathroom, that I kid you not was the size of my closet at the estate, and got a quick shower. I'd been so tense all day from all the stress; I let the hot water unclench all the muscles in my back. When I got out, I threw my hair up in a messy bun, got dressed, and walked out, throwing my clothes on top of my bags. The door to the room was open, and when I looked, Adrian was standing outside smoking a cigarette.

"Those are bad for you, you know." I said. He jumped.

"There are a lot of things that are bad for me, but it doesn't stop me from doing them." He said, motioning to his glass on the counter filled with a brown liquid. It was some sort of expensive scotch, no doubt.

"Should have known you couldn't leave the alcohol behind." I said, shaking my head at him. He chuckled.

"There's still a full bottle in the fridge if you want some. There's another glass in my bag." He told me, smirking. By the look on his face, I could tell he didn't believe that I would. I walked to his bag, and pulled out the crystal glass, and poured myself a drink. He looked a little surprised, which was what I was aiming for. He walked back in, and closed the door, picking up his drink, and sitting down in one of the chairs. I swirled the liquid around in my glass before taking another drink.

"So, where are we headed exactly?" I asked him.

"Well, court right now, so I can grab a few things, and let everyone know where I'll be since they're all so concerned that I left." He rolled his eyes, meaning none of them really cared.

"Then where too?"

"Where ever the road leads us." He said, trying to act all philosophical. He failed horribly at it. Regardless of everything, I laughed. It felt good to genuinely laugh. He smiled at me. "I've missed that."

"What?"

"Hearing you laugh." He admitted. I shrugged.

"Hasn't been very much to laugh about recently." I admitted. He nodded.

"That's very true." He said. We stayed up for what seemed like forever. My one drink turned into four drinks, and then I couldn't stand on my own. We laughed, and regardless of everything, I felt genuinely happy. Even if that happiness only lasted for a little while, it was better than the gut wrenching pain I was feeling earlier. It was late when I finally curled up in bed. Adrian was still hesitant, even though he was drunk.

"Are you sure, Rose? I can sleep on the floor, or in this chair." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"It isn't a big deal. Just get in the damn bed." I muttered. He just nodded and did as I said. As we laid there in silence, I realized I had something I needed to say. "Adrian?" I murmured.

"Yeah?"

"I know I haven't told you this yet… but you offering to go with me, and standing up to Dimitri like you did. It really means a lot to me." I sat up, and looked over at him. "So… thank you."

"It wasn't a problem, little dhampir." He murmured. I laid back down, and rolled over, closing my eyes. The nightmares that assaulted my mind brought me out of my sleep pretty quickly though. I wasn't even sure I'd been asleep for more than an hour. I sat up, looking around, taking in my surroundings. I had to convince myself over and over that it was just a dream. I laid back down, and tried to go to sleep, but the second time, they were worse. The strigoi were after me, after him, he kept running and running, but I just couldn't keep up. They always caught me. I always died, and he got away. Right before the strigoi would kill me; he'd spare a look back at me, but then turn and keep running. This time, I woke up violently, waking Adrian up with me.

"Rose… Rose, what is it?" He asked. I was breathing hard, and tears were streaming down my face. My pillow was soaked with sweat as if I'd actually been running.

"Nothing…. Nothing. I just had a bad dream." I said, getting up and walking into the bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face, waking me up. I looked up to see in the mirror to see Adrian standing behind me.

"Are you alright?" He asked me. I shook my head.

"No… but I will be." I whispered. I rubbed my face, taking deep breaths. Adrian rubbed my back.

"Just breathe. It wasn't real." He promised me.

"Just go back to bed, Adrian. I'll be fine. You've got to drive tomorrow. You need to sleep."

"Not until I know you're okay." He told me.

"I'm alright. I'm just a little shaken up."

"Look, come here." He murmured. He took my hand and led me to the bed. He sat me down on the edge and wiped the stray tears from my face. "Lay down, and close your eyes."

"I'm scared." I whispered. He shook his head.

"Don't be. I'm not going to let anything hurt you." He promised. I nodded and did as he said. He walked around the bed, and laid down beside me. He took my hand in his, and rubbed it gently. "I need you to fall back asleep."

"I don't know if I can." I whispered. I was still shaking.

"Try… please." I did as he asked, until finally I couldn't fight it, and I gave into it. The moment my brain succumbed to the exhaustion, I found myself on a tropical beach. It was now I understood what was happening. Adrian wanted me to go back to sleep, so he could manipulate my dreams and keep me from having nightmares. Most of the time, he was in my dreams, but this time… he wasn't. It was then Lissa came walking up the beach, along with Mason Ashford, and all of my friends from St. Vladimir's. It was then the person walking up the beach shocked me. _Landon. _I knew Adrian was doing this, was creating this for me to make me happy, and it was working, but this would be hard when I woke up. Regardless, I didn't care. I ran to Landon, throwing myself into his arms. He spun me around and kissed me dead on the lips.

"I've missed you Rose."

"I've missed you too, Landon. You have no idea." I whispered. He took my hand and smiled down at the ring.

"I see you got what I left for you." He told me, moving it around on my finger.

"I'll wear it forever." I promised. He smiled at me, which made my heart lurch. We all laid on the beach, played in the water. I swear, it was the best time I felt like I'd had in a century. It wasn't long before Landon pulled me up out of the sand and down the beach.

"I have to go now. You have to wake up, and keep moving." He said. I looked down.

"I don't want to lose you again." He pulled my face up to look at him. He shook his head.

"You're never going to lose me. You understand? I'm always going to be right here." He said, pointing at my chest.

"I'm sorry, Landon. For everything… I feel like...like I failed you." He shook his head.

"The only way you would have ever failed me is if you'd given up, and you haven't. I know you won't. Make me proud, Rose." He whispered, before kissing my lips. I stared at him for a second, taking him in just like this. Dark skinned, green eyes and the boy that could have been my everything. I could have loved him. I should have loved him.

"I will." I whispered. I took a deep breath before I spoke the words that would bring me back into reality. "Adrian… I'm ready to wake up." I said. Landon gave me one last smile before the dream world dissolved around us and I was back in our hotel room. I expected to wake up crying, and upset that I'd had to let him go again, but I wasn't. If anything, I woke up in a good mood. I sat up, and rubbed my face, which woke Adrian up. He sat up, and placed a hand on my arm.

"Are you alright?" He asked. I turned to him and gave him a genuine smile. I leaned over and pressed one kiss to his lips.

"Thank you for that." I murmured. He looked a little confused, probably from the kiss. It wasn't like Adrian and I had never kissed before, but this was different.

"You're welcome?" He said, it sounding more like a question. I rolled out of bed, and took my bag into the bathroom, getting dressed and ready to get back on the road. Once I was done, Adrian went in as I took my bags out to the van. I packed everything else back into the van and waited for Adrian. He came out and threw his stuff in the van before we checked out, and headed back out onto the road.


	38. Funny Business!

Since we'd gotten back on the road, neither of us had really said much. I think we were both feeling the effects of a last night's drinking, and lack of sleep. We stopped for food, and took a few bathroom stops, but about four hours into today's ride, I noticed my surroundings were starting to look familiar.

"Are we almost there?" I asked. He nodded.

"About another hour ride. How did you know?"

"We drove to court from St. Vladimirs with Lissa's parents once. I guess I remember it from then, because the only other time I've been at court was with-." I cut myself off. He just nodded, and didn't push me to say anything else. I watched out the window as we passed different places, trying to remember if I'd been there. It wasn't long before we pulled up the courts gates. Adrian spoke to the guardians and they opened the gates. Adrian called another group of guardians to take our stuff to his room.

"Are we staying long?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"Just overnight." He promised, wrapping his arm around my waist as we walked inside. He escorted me upstairs into a part of court I'd never been in. "So, there's someone I want you to meet."

"Who?" I asked, giving him a look.

"My aunt." He said. It took me a few seconds to register who it was he was referring too.

"The queen?" I asked. I shook my head. "Oh no… that's not happening. She doesn't like me. She never liked me after what happened with Lissa. I heard all of the stuff she said."

"But you've never actually met her. I think she'll like you." He told me. I rolled my eyes.

"Adrian, don't make me do this." I begged. He just nodded.

"Alright. If you don't want to, I understand." He said. He then started escorting me away from where we were headed.

"Damn you and your reverse psychology, Adrian." I snapped.

"When she finds out you're here, she's going to want to meet you anyway." He informed me.

"Might as well get it over with." I followed him through a large set of French doors and into a large room. I soon figured out that this was the throne room.

"Hello Tatiana." He said. When she came into view it was easy to see that they were related. They looked a lot alike.

"Adrian… I heard you were back. Didn't actually believe it, since you come and go so much."

"All you have to do is say you miss me. I mean, I can't blame you. I'd miss me too." I rolled my eyes at how he regarded her.

"Who is this?" She asked, motioning to me.

"Rose Hathaway." Adrian told her. I stepped forward and bowed.

"Your majesty." I said. She turned back to Adrian.

"I caught word she'd disappeared from Belikov's estate. Shouldn't have expected anything less, Adrian. Are you eloping?" She asked. I coughed and started laughing.

"It isn't anything like that your majesty." I said. Adrian smirked.

"Nope, not this time." He said. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Then what exactly are you doing?" Tatiana asked. Adrian opened his mouth to speak but I cut him off.

"I had a lot of problems with the novices there, and I got sick of them. I decided that I would leave until it was time for me to go back to the academy, so I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. Adrian offered to accompany me."

"Of course he did." She muttered. She looked between Adrian and me. "Does Guardian Belikov know where you two are?"

"No, he doesn't. We aren't staying anyways. Just for tonight." He informed her. Somehow, I felt this information shouldn't have been said out loud. I felt like Tatiana was plotting something, and I had a feeling it would end badly. Regardless, I pushed the feeling away.

"I take it your staying in your room this evening then." Tatiana said. He nodded.

"Yes… and I promise to behave." He told her. It was obvious she knew of her nephew's reputation with women. When we left, I just had this really weird feeling about her. I wasn't sure what it was, but Adrian sensed my unease as we walked into his room. It looked the same as it had when I left Court the last time, even though I didn't want to think about everything that happened the last time I was here.

"Are you feeling alright?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just weird being back here without-." I stopped. It was easy to make up lies with Adrian, because he never pushed me to talk about anything that had to do with Dimitri. He just nodded.

"So, you know to make yourself at home. We'll probably head out in the morning. Where too, I don't really know, but we'll figure it out." He said.

"We can't go too far. You have to remember, I have to go back to Lissa eventually." I told him. He just nodded.

"I know that." He said, a hint of sadness in his voice. We hung out in his room, but neither of us really said much. He poured himself a few drinks, and offered me one, but when I refused he slowed down. A few hours later, I told him I was going to go down to the gym and get a work out in since I wouldn't be training for another month. He offered to go with me, but I told him no. I knew the gym wouldn't be his scene anyway. Regardless, he argued, but I still refused. When I got to the gym, I pulled out one of the dummies and slipped the gloves on, taking out all of my frustrations on it. The gloves were holding me back, so I took them off, and started in on it again. My knuckles became raw, but I didn't let it stop me. When I finally stopped, I ran on the treadmill. I wasn't sure how long I'd been down here when I heard the door open, and in walked Guardian Young. I hadn't known he'd left the estate, much less that he'd come here.

"Rose?"

"Guardian Young? What are you doing here?" I asked. He chuckled.

"I could ask you the same question. I caught wind that you'd run off again, but I didn't believe it." I smiled.

"Well, believe it. What brought you to court? I didn't even know you left the estate." I felt sort of bad that I hadn't even checked on him after Landon's memorial service.

"I didn't have anything to do there, and I just felt kind of useless. Atleast here I was put to work. It isn't very much, but it keeps me from sitting around." He told me. He then walked over to me. "So, what brings you to court?"

"Just a stop. I'm leaving in the morning." I told him.

"Where are you going?" He asked me.

"I don't know yet. Where ever I end up, I guess. I have a little less than a month until they'll let me back into the academy, so I figured I'd just move around until then."

"Why'd you leave?" He asked. I sighed.

"It's a long story… one that isn't exactly mine to tell. Let's just say things got a little heated, and I just got tired of dealing with it, so I left." I told him. It was the most I could say without lying to him. He just nodded.

"How'd you get here? I'm sure Dimitri didn't just arrange for you a ride and a flight." He said.

"Adrian brought me." I said, simply. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"How'd Dimitri take that?"

"He didn't like it so much." I admitted. I sighed. "Look, I really don't want to talk about this. I should probably go. I have to get up early tomorrow. Guardian Young, I'm asking you not to call him, or tell him where I am."

"Your secret's safe with me. I know you've been going through a lot since you got there. I don't blame you for running, to be honest." He admitted. It hit me hard when he said I was running, because I realized that was exactly what I was doing. I was running from things I didn't want to face, just like Dimitri said I was. I knew there was no going back now though. I'd made my choice. Odds are, he wouldn't take me back if I tried to go back to the estate. I nodded at Guardian Young once.

"Thanks." I said, before starting for the door.

"Good luck… with everything Hathaway." He said. I smiled at him slightly, before walking out and heading back to Adrian's room. When I got there, he was starting for the door.

"I got worried. I was afraid you weren't coming back." He said.

"How long have I been gone?" I asked.

"Four hours."

"Shit, I'm sorry. I had no idea I'd even been-." He cut me off, when he walked over to me, and grabbed my hands.

"What did you do?"

"I used one of the training dummies, and I felt like the gloves were holding me back, so I didn't use them, and well… this is what happens." I could tell he was going to try and heal me, but I pulled away from him.

"I'll be fine."

"Rose, don't start this now." He said. I sighed.

"Adrian, I just really want to feel normal right now, and healing on my own… that will make me feel semi-normal."

"Rose, come on." He said.

"I'll tell you what. I'll let you apply first aid. Will that make you feel better?" I asked. He sighed and nodded.

"Yeah, I guess." He said.

"But if you try and heal me while you're doing that, I won't hesitate to punch you in the face." I told him, smirking.

"No funny business. I got it." He said, before leading me into the bathroom, and applying medicine. He then wrapped my knuckles in gauze and taped them. They hurt, but it wasn't a pain I couldn't handle. When we were done, I changed into some comfortable clothes, and curled up on his couch. Adrian went and showered before coming back out in nothing but a pair of cotton sleep pants.

"Well, I'm going to head to bed. If you want to sleep in the bed, I can take the couch."

"I'm not going to kick you out of your bed, Adrian." I told him.

"If you want to sleep with me, that's fine too. I'm just giving you options here." He admitted. I got up.

"I'll sleep with you." I said. He just nodded and turned to go back into his bedroom. He had a king size bed, but I swear it was like two of them put together. He crawled in and I did the same. I curled up under the blankets, and got comfortable. The room fell into silence, but I had a question to ask.

"Adrian?" I whispered into the darkness. I saw him turn his head to look at me.

"Yeah?

"If… If I have nightmares again… will you make them go away, like last night?" I asked. I could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke.

"Of course. If you need me, I'm right here." He said, patting my hand under the blankets. I just nodded.

"Thank you." I whispered. When I closed my eyes and fell asleep, I was extremely surprised when the nightmares didn't come. Adrian didn't have to manipulate my dreams, which was a plus. I knew it wore him out having to use spirit like that, even if it was in his sleep. I was happy to say I didn't dream at all, which was unusual under this kind of stress. I cuddled up closer next to Adrian, and let myself succumb to the blackness.


	39. Queen's Orders!

When I woke up the next morning, it was earlier than I expected. I rolled over and looked at the clock to see it was around four. I groaned and rubbed my eyes. I thought about waking Adrian and telling him to get ready so we could leave, but instead, I let him sleep. I rolled out of bed, and walked into the kitchenette. I plugged in his coffeemaker and made a pot of coffee. The only creamer he had was a month out of date, but I took a chance with it, pouring it into my cup, along with a bunch of sugar. I wasn't ever a coffee drinker, but if it keeps me awake a little longer, I'd try anything. It wasn't long before I heard Adrian's door open, and looked up to see him stumble out, still half asleep. He had bed head, which I found quite adorable this morning.

"I'm glad to see you took the 'make yourself at home' thing to heart." He said, his voice still thick with sleep. I would never admit it out loud, but he sounded super sexy when he'd just woken up.

"Yeah, I did. There's coffee left if you want some." I said. He nodded and stumbled into the kitchen, pouring himself a cup. He sat down at his counter across from me, and looked up to meet my gaze.

"So, no nightmares last night?"

"None, thank God. I was kind of expecting them" I admitted. He smiled.

"I'm glad you didn't have any though. Maybe that means you're getting better?"

"I hope so." I told him. I downed the rest of my coffee before putting my cup in the sink. "Remind me to wash and reset that before we leave."

"Don't worry about it. They come service my room every time I leave. They'll clean it." He assured me. I said okay, but I planned on doing it anyway.

"I'm going to go get a quick shower before we leave." I told him. He nodded. I grabbed my bag and took it into the bathroom, washing my hair and throwing it up in a bun. I got dressed and did a little bit of make-up, before walking out.

"I've never met a girl who can go into a bathroom for ten minutes and come out looking as beautiful as you." He said. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Thanks." I muttered. "Go get ready, so we can get out of here." He chuckled and nodded, before walking into his bathroom. I washed and cleaned the coffee pot, and found a box of stale cookies, and munched on them before he came out. He chuckled.

"Hungry?"

"A little." I admitted. He smiled.

"We'll stop and get something when we leave here." He pulled out his cell phone and dialed a phone number, before he started speaking. "I need someone to come carry our bags to the van." He said, before hanging up. I rolled my eyes. We could have very easily carried the bags in two trips. Regardless, they showed up and carried our things down to the van.

"You ready?" He asked.

"Yeah, I suppose." I told him, before walking out the door. We got half way down the hallway before he stopped.

"Wait… I should probably go tell my Aunt good-bye. I promised her I wouldn't leave without telling her." He said. I stood there.

"You go, and I'll just meet you at the van. I think I can skip the family good-byes." I told him. He nodded.

"I'll be out in a few. Just don't leave without me." He said. I chuckled. He had all the money. I wouldn't get very far without him, and he knew that. He wasn't really worried about me leaving him behind. I started down the stairs, and into the lobby of court. I was going to wait there, but decided I'd been in here long enough. There were memories here, memories I didn't want to think about. I took one last look around, before walking out the front doors. It was in that moment that I wished I'd stayed inside. I'd taken five steps out, when I looked up and saw him. This couldn't be right. He wouldn't follow us, would he? How did he-. I cut the thought off. It was obvious Guardian Young had called him.

"Rose…" He said, his voice carrying to me on the wind.

"What are you doing here?"

"Isn't it obvious why I'm here?" He asked.

"No, it isn't….so I'm going to need for you to explain. I left you at the estate, where I'd never have to deal with you again. Why would you follow me?" I demanded. I was angry, not necessarily that he was here, but the fact that he'd been called here. Someone had ratted on me, and of course I was going to take that anger out on him.

"I told you I wasn't going to let this go."

"And I told you that you had no choice. Dimitri, we can't do this. This is over. You need to understand that. Move on with your life. Find someone older, prettier, and stronger. I'm just a teenage girl." I told him.

"You are so much more than that, Roza and you know that." He said.

"I'm not meant for you, Dimitri." I whispered. It hurt me to say that out loud, especially when I'd always believed I was meant for him.

"You're wrong." He said. That's when I lost it.

"And what if I am meant for you? What then? You lose your job. You go to jail for statutory rape. Then, I'm left here. I'd never be able to guard Lissa. I'd finish out school, and what? Become a useless guardian who sits around and does nothing? Do you think I could honestly deal with that? Especially when I have a reputation to uphold being a Hathaway? This relationship will go nowhere, Dimitri and you need to admit that to yourself." I said. I was ranting. My voice rose every time I finished a sentence until finally, I was screaming.

"I can't, Roza and you need to realize that. I've been married before. I've thought that I was in love before, but that was nothing compared to what I feel with you. I don't care if I get put in jail. I don't care if I lose my job. The risk of losing all of that would be worth it to be with you. It would only be a problem until you turned eighteen and that's only a few months away. I could hold on until then, and you could too if we just tried." He told me. I shook my head, having a hard time keeping a hold of any kind of composure. I wanted to sprint headlong into his arms, and never let him go, but I just couldn't.

"It isn't even worth it now, after everything we've lost." I whispered, looking away.

"It is worth it. All of this, everything we've already been through, I'd do it all again if it meant I got to keep you forever." He murmured. The look of pain and pleading in his eye was almost heart breaking. I shook my head and looked away. Looking into his eyes was making it harder and harder for me to say no.

"There is no such thing as forever, Dimitri." I murmured.

"Roza, please… I'm begging you. Just come back. We'll figure it out back at the estate, but please… just come home." He said. For the longest time, I felt like I'd never really had a home, and when I did, it was with Lissa. Where ever she was, that was home, but ever since I'd been forced to leave her… Home had been where ever Dimitri was. It didn't matter if we were at the estate, or at court, or hell… even out in the woods somewhere. When I was with him, I was home. It was the only other time I'd ever felt that way.

"Who told you where I was?" I asked.

"I guessed." He told me. I saw his eyes flicker away from me for a split second. I knew he was lying.

"Who told you?" I asked him, my voice harder this time.

"Tatiana called me. She told me you were here with Adrian and she wanted me to come get you." He said. I'd known she was up to something. I wasn't an idiot.

"She doesn't like me around Adrian."

"She thought you two were-." I cut him off.

"And she'd never want that for her great nephew. It's nice to know she thinks so high of me." I muttered. I shook my head. "Fuckin' royals. They ruin everything."

"I was going to come after you one way or another. I just… I just really want you home." He said, simply. I took a deep breath, knowing what the next words would cause, only because I meant them.

"Home is where you are." I admitted. His head snapped up to look at me. He took two steps forward, and stopped.

"Roza…" He murmured.

"Dimitri… I don't know what to do anymore. I love you, and that much is obvious, but… what does this mean for us? For us as individuals. We could lose everything. You'd lose the estate, your job. I'd lose my chance of guarding-." I slowly stopped, not able to say it out loud. I couldn't think of it. Being Lissa's guardian was so ingrained into who I was; I couldn't bear the thought of it not becoming my reality one day. Would I be willing to risk that? Risk what I'd worked so hard all my life for, for the man that I loved? I didn't know, but what I did know, is I couldn't imagine my world without him in it. Even though I walked away, and planned on never looking back, I'd always love him. Actually, I had a feeling that somewhere down the road I would have found my way back to him. A love like Dimitri and I have isn't just easily ignored. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "I don't know what to do. I hate that you make me question everything I once wanted, Dimitri. It kills me that I have to choose." I whispered.

"I just need you to trust me. We'll make it. If you believe anything, you have to believe that much."

"I'd like to believe it, Dimitri…" I said.

"Just come back… please." He said. It was then that Adrian busted out of the front doors. It was obvious he was running from someone.

"Rose…" He said. Three guardians then busted out behind him. I quickly pushed Adrian behind me, shielding him.

"What's going on?" I demanded.

"He was ordered to stay put by the queen, and he left against her wishes." One of the guardians snapped at me. He tried to step forward and grab Adrian, but I pushed Adrian back, still holding my ground in front of him.

"You're not going to touch him." I growled.

"Queen's orders." Another guardian said.

"I don't give a shit whose orders they are. You're not going to touch him." I snapped.

"Rose… just let them-." Dimitri started.

"Shut up." One of the guardians tried to push me out of the way, so when I swung and punched him in the face, they all tried to jump me. That's when Dimitri jumped in, defending me. It was complete and total chaos all because of Tatiana. After what felt like an eternity of kicking the shit out of three guardians, Tatiana walked out.

"What is going on out here?" She demanded. Everyone froze. I was still crouched down in attack mode. I was ready for anything.

"Adrian disobeyed your orders, so we were coming to retrieve him when this NOVICE here decided to step in on his behalf." He put a lot of emphasis on the word novice. It was funny how he made it clear I was a novice, but he still couldn't get past me.

"How noble of you Ms. Hathaway." Tatiana said. "And Guardian Belikov, I see you stepped in as well." Dimitri bowed before speaking.

"I'm sorry your majesty. Your guardian here put his hands on my novice." He said, apologetically. I wanted to yell at him for apologizing for standing up for me. I knew he was just trying to keep us out of trouble though.

"I see. Gentlemen, stand down. They're not a problem." Tatiana told her guardians. It was then Guardian Young walked out.

"Is everything alright here?" He asked. He then looked up to find Dimitri, Adrian and I. I could tell he wished he hadn't walked outside.

"Yes, Guardian Young. Everything's fine." I told him. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Guardian Belikov, I'm going to have to ask you to accompany Rose off my property immediately. Adrian, get back inside." She said. Adrian and I both said no at the exact same time. "I'm sorry… Ms. Hathaway, you don't have much of a choice, and Adrian… I am your aunt and your queen and you will not defy me." She said, voice monotone.

"He's just as much of a royal as you and has the right to make his own decisions." I snapped at her.

"Belikov, get her out of here… now." She snapped at Dimitri. Dimitri grabbed me, trying to pull me away from her. I grabbed Adrian.

"Do not stay here, do you understand me? Come back to the estate." I told him. His eyes fell on me, and back to his aunt. I fought against Dimitri.

"Roza, stop. Just come on." Dimitri said.

"I can't leave… My stuff is still in his room." I told him. Tatiana turned to Guardian Young.

"Retrieve Rose's things from Adrian's room and load them into the van." She said. He nodded once, but frowned as he turned to go inside. I knew he didn't like listening to her.

"This is bull shit." I screamed, allowing Dimitri to pull me away from the group. "Adrian… don't do this."

"I'm not staying here, Tatiana."

"You'll do as I say, or I'll have you locked up. I don't want you with that… that girl. She's a bad influence on you. She's a dhampir. You're royal. You're a prince, Adrian. I won't have you in cahoots with a guardian."

"Oh, you're going to have me locked up… You know like you have the rest of our family trapped here like your own slaves? You're going to do that to me too huh?" Adrian snapped at her. Tatiana recoiled like he'd hit her. I'd like to hit her.

"We're not discussing this. Get inside." She said, her voice slightly. He shot me a look behind him, before walking in, her and her guardians following behind him. The guardian I'd punched in the eye, was now holding his face. I started running towards the door, when Dimitri grabbed me, holding me back.

"What are you doing, Rose? She's the queen. You're going to get arrested."

"I don't care; do you see how she treats him like he's nothing? I have to go in there and-." He shook his head, holding me tighter.

"And do what? Hit the queen, get arrested for treason? Then what, Rose? How does that help anything?" He demanded. I pulled myself out of his hold.

"How does sitting here help anything either?" I snapped.

"Rose, you're upset and I get that, but you need to calm down and think rationally." He said. I snorted, and shook my head.

"When have I ever thought rationally?" I demanded. It wasn't long before Guardian Young and another Guardian brought my things out, and loaded them into the van Dimitri had driven here. Guardian Young walked over to us.

"You guys alright?" He asked.

"We're fine." Dimitri said. I sighed, and ran a hand through my hair.

"Rose?" Guardian Young asked. I gave him the best fake smile I could conjure up.

"I'm just fuckin' peachy." I said.

"Rose!" Dimitri scolded me. I rolled my eyes which caused Guardian Young to laugh.

"She's fine." He said. Dimitri sighed and shook his head. "Did it turn to blows out here?"

"It did for a few minutes. Her damn minions in there." I said, cutting of Dimitri before he could answer. Guardian Young laughed.

"We need to get you out of here." Dimitri said.

"I'm not leaving without him."

"Yes, you are. Rose, that's his aunt. This is his home. You can't make him leave." Dimitri told me.

"He doesn't want to be here, Dimitri. How do you NOT see that?" I demanded. He sighed.

"We can't help him, Rose."

"It's better that you go now, Rose. He may have a better chance of getting out if you're not here." Guardian Young told me. I realized he was right. If Tatiana knew I wasn't out here, or in the area waiting for him, she might let him leave. I knew he was right. I knew he wouldn't be able to leave the guardian's sights if I was still around.

"Fine..." I muttered. It was then I realized I'd have to endure a two day car ride alone… with Dimitri. I could only see this ending badly. _Joy. _Dimitri shook hands with Guardian Young, before walking to the driver's side of the van. I smiled at him.

"See you around." I said. He chuckled.

"Stay out of trouble, Hathaway." It was then he happened to look down at my hand. He spotted the ring, and his eyes went wide. "How did you-?" I raised an eyebrow.

"You knew he was going to give it to me?" I asked. He nodded.

"I knew, but then… when he died…I didn't think-." He trailed off.

"I knew he was going to give it to me. I read it in his journal. Then when we killed him… it was still in his pocket. I took it. I knew he would have wanted me to have it." I said. He smiled.

"I'm glad you were able to find it. He'd be glad to have you wearing it."

"I know. Thank you, Guardian Young." I murmured. He chuckled.

"You can call me, Eric. Really… I hate titles." He admitted. I smirked.

"Alright, Eric. I'll see you around." I said, before getting into the van. I was angry to be leaving Adrian behind, but I knew he had no hope in hell of getting out of there while I was here. When we pulled out of the courts gates, I knew there was no going back. I was going back to the estate, back to the miserable life of pretending I didn't feel something for the person I was absolutely in love with. I sighed, and leaned my head against the window.

"You haven't said much." He murmured.

"There isn't anything to say."

"There's a lot to say actually, and we've got two days to say it before we can't anymore, so if there's anything you'd like to tell me… now would be the time." He said.

"I don't have anything to tell you, or anything to really say. What more can I say that hasn't already been said?" I asked him. He didn't reply. We lapsed into silence until he finally turned to me.

"Did something happen between you and Adrian when you left?" He asked. I didn't look at him. I continued staring out the window.

"What do you mean?"

"Were you two-?" He was trying to be subtle in asking me if I'd slept with him. It actually made me laugh, which I think pissed Dimitri off a little bit. If he thought I'd sleep with someone, just two days after I'd slept with him, it was obvious to me he didn't think very highly of me. After I thought about it like that, it kind of pissed me off too.

"Wow, I'm glad to know you think so highly of me too. Wanna just go ahead and call me a blood whore while you're at it?" I asked. He sighed.

"Roza, I wasn't trying to-." I cut him off.

"It doesn't matter. Forget it." I muttered. His grip on the steering wheel tightened, causing his knuckles to turn white. I stared out the window for a minute, not saying anything, before I finally spoke again. "No, I wasn't having sex with him." I finally said, my voice barely audible.

"I wasn't trying to be rude, when I asked… I was just-." He started.

"It isn't a big deal. Just forget it." I told him. The van lapsed into silence once again. Atleast until he decided that we were stopping at a hotel to sleep for the night. Suddenly, my heart was pounding, and I knew exactly why. Tonight, was going to be interesting.

**A/N: Hey guys, haven't done a note in awhile, so I figured I'd say thank you for hanging on this long. I'd really like to get this story to a thousand reviews. I've got one other story that reached a thousand, and it's made me aspire to hit a thousand on another one, so if you guys could share this story with your friends, post it on your social networking sites, that'd be awesome too. Thanks for tagging along, and I hope you're enjoying Walk on Water or Drown! **


	40. Reality!

When we pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, Dimitri took a deep breath before pulling a wallet out of the console. I could tell his mind was in the same place mine was.

"I'll be right back." He said, never looking at me before he jumped out and went into the lobby. I watched out the windshield as raindrops slowly started hitting the glass; first slow, then a little harder. I loved the rain. I had since I was little. I always found wonder in it. I watched as the drops slid down the windshield. That's why I jumped when Dimitri opened the door. "We have a room." He said, simply. Starting the van and pulling around the backside of the building. He helped carry my things up to the room since we were on the second floor. It was obvious he didn't have much. Actually, I think he had one bag and even that wasn't full. I wondered if he was so sure that I'd come back that he packed that light. When he flicked on the light of the room, I was caught off guard to find two beds. In my mind, I'd been praying for one, even though I knew better with Dimitri. I carried my things to my bed, and set them down, sitting on the edge of my bed. I ran my hands through my hair, and took in my surroundings. Same old ugly wallpaper, same uncomfortable beds, just a different place with a different person. Dimitri sat down on his bed for a second, before he reached over and grabbed his duffle bag.

"I think I'm going to get a shower. Unless, you want to go first." He said, motioning to the bathroom. I shook my head.

"No, go ahead." I told him. He nodded and walked into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. I sighed and moved around the room, taking in everything. Why? Because I was that damn bored, and in order to keep myself from thinking of things I shouldn't be thinking about. I finally opened the door, and walked out onto the balcony. Just over the tree's, there was a lake. I hadn't noticed it when we came in, but then again, it could only be seen from the balcony. I watched as the rain made patterns in the murky water. I wasn't sure how long I'd been out here before I heard the door open behind me, and Dimitri stepped out.

"You alright?" He asked. I turned to him to find him in a white wife beater and a pair of cotton sleep pants.

"I'm fine." I said, quickly turning back to face the water. He walked over to the railing and stood beside me.

"Huh… I didn't even notice that when we came in." He said, observantly.

"Me either." I admitted. "It's beautiful."

"Sometimes… you don't really notice the beauty in things until you take a step back and actually look." He said. I knew we weren't talking about the lake anymore. We were talking about us now.

"I guess you're right." I murmured.

"Roza… I know that things aren't going to be easy. They're not going to be simple and carefree like most of the things in our life… but we'll still make it." He told me.

"When has anything in my life ever been simple or carefree? My best friends insane, I'm right there with her. I abandoned another one of my friends to his crazy psycho Aunt, my other best friend is dead, and I'm in love with my mentor who is seven years older than me. Where do you see simple and carefree in any of this?" I asked him. He chuckled.

"I guess you're right. Maybe simple and carefree is what you need right about now." He said. I couldn't stop the chill that went up my spine at his words. I sighed.

"I don't know what I need." I admitted. I looked out into the rain, and back to Dimitri. "I'm just going to go get a shower, and go to bed." I finally told him, before turning around and walking back into the room. He followed. I walked over to my bed, and picked up one of my bags, and started to unzip it. I hadn't even heard him move, or get closer to me, but when he murmured my name, he was right beside me. The tone of his voice caused me to look up, and the moment I did, I was lost in those deep brown eyes. He reached up and touched my face, but I couldn't take it anymore, and reached up to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me up against his body. My head kept screaming _'bad idea, bad idea.' _But this time, I ignored it. He stepped forward, pushing my back up against the wall, holding me firmly there with his body. He bit my lower lip, as he removed his mouth from mine, trailing kisses down my jaw line, down my neck and back to my mouth. He pushed my bag off the bed, and threw me onto it. I'll admit, it was an aggressive gesture, but I found it dead sexy all the same. I ran my hands underneath his wife beater, pulling it off over his head. He made an agitated sound at the separation of his lips from mine. I ran my hands down his perfectly sculpted chest and stomach. I missed this. I missed it more than anything in the world. I could put on a front for everyone just to be able to keep this behind closed doors. I felt the goosebumps rise as my hands explored his torso. He pulled me up into a sitting position, pulling my t-shirt off over my head and tossing it to the ground. The moment my shirt was gone, he began trailing hot sensuous kisses down my chest, my stomach. My back arched slightly. I couldn't help the emotion he evoked in me. I trailed my hands back down his stomach to the draw string of his pajama pants. I untied them, and tugged at the waist band. I knew there was no way I'd ever get them off of him on my own, so I just smiled up at him.

"Off… now." I murmured. He chuckled slightly, his voice slightly deeper than normal.

"Your wish… my command." He pulled his sleep pants off, tossing them to the side. I couldn't help but giggle. He continued the assault of his lips on my body, as he started to unbutton my pants, and pull them off. The moment he undid them, it was like he'd flipped a light switch. We were going to be hulled up at the estate, training and training hard for the next month. We wouldn't have time for anything like this, and doing it now would only make me want it that much more and after that, I'd be leaving. I'd probably never see him again, so why was I letting myself give into this torture now? I was an idiot, and I was only tearing myself up even further. At the moment, his lips were on my stomach, so I shook my head.

"Dimitri." I murmured. I sat up on my elbows. The tone of my voice caused him to sit up. I could tell I'd killed his buzz. "We… we can't do this." I forced out. He looked disappointed, but he had no idea how hard it was for me to say that at this point. I wanted him to take me right here and now.

"Roza, don't do-." He started. I shook my head.

"I can't let this happen now, when I'm leaving in a little less than a month, Dimitri. This will only make that harder on the both of us. I don't know if I'll be able to handle being without you." I whispered. My voice was breaking, thinking about leaving him and going back to the academy.

"Roza, we'll figure that out when it gets here. A month is still a long way away. I can always say you're not ready enough yet, or you need more time and keep you hulled up at the estate." He teased. He started to press another kiss to my stomach, when I grabbed his face, preventing his lips from touching me.

"It doesn't work that way. Do you honestly think I can let this happen now, and then just be perfectly okay when it comes time for me to leave you? Dimitri, when I leave at the end of this month it could be good-bye for-." Dimitri stopped me before I could finish the whole word.

"No… it won't be forever. I didn't let you go this time; do you honestly think I'm going to let you go next time?" He asked me. I looked away.

"We don't have a choice anymore." I admitted. I hated being helpless, knowing that there was nothing I could do to stop what was coming. It was inevitable.

"We always have a choice, Roza. Listen to me; I'm not going to let you go that easily, alright? If you believe anything, believe that. The end of this month… it won't be the end for us." He assured me.

"What are you going to do? Leave the estate? Find a job closer to St. Vladimirs so you can-." I stopped when he looked away. That was exactly what he was planning. "Dimitri, I can't ask you to give all that up. You've worked too hard at the estate."

"But I'd give it all up for you, just like you'd give it all up for me. Roza, we're going to make it. Do you trust me?" He asked, pressing a kiss right above my navel. I didn't try and stop him this time. My eyes rolled back in my head this time as his tongue touched my skin.

"With everything." I answered. He smiled up at me, as he trailed kisses back up my body till his face was right over mine, our mouths only inches apart.

"Then don't deny us this. When we get back to the estate, that's reality… but right now, it's just you and me." He whispered. By the look in his eyes, I knew he meant every word. I just nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling his mouth down to mine. I knew this time, there was no going back. It was going to happen again. He maneuvered my pants down, and off.

"How come I had to take your pants off?" He murmured into the crook of my neck. I couldn't help but laugh.

"You're more experienced. It's easier for you than it is for me." I whispered, teasing. He smiled as he pressed his lips back to mine. As the rest of our clothes were shed, everything became exactly what he said I needed, simple and carefree. It made me feel so normal, being with him like this. I'd always felt out of step my entire life, always having to deal with something, someone dying, someone going crazy, or me losing my mind myself, but here with him in this bland little hotel room, it was everything I needed in my life. Everything free and exciting about being alive. Our bodies soon were in perfect sync, like we always were when we were together. I swear he was the most beautiful thing in my world, and I wasn't ever going to be willing to give this up. Just like in our trainings, he remained in full control, which in this case, I didn't mind so much. When we trained, that was a different story. It was then I realized that any kind of physical activity I did with Dimitri, whether fighting, running, sparing, or sex… they were all always in perfect harmony, us never once falling out of rhythm. It was nice to know we had that sort of bond. I knew it was something beautiful, and something unbreakable. I dug my nails into his back, almost drawing blood as I came closer and closer to my release. Right before I would have crashed over that wall of ecstasy, he froze. I almost lost my mind. The pleasure coursing through my veins was staggering, but I was confused. I hadn't expected him to just… stop before I could-. I trailed the thought off when he spoke.

"Open your eyes, Roza… Look at me." He whispered, his voice deep and husky laced with that sexy Russian accent. It took a lot of effort to force my eyes open. Behind my lids I was seeing stars, but when my opened my eyes to his face, it was like staring into the night sky for the first time. "Don't look away." That's when he started moving again, slow, agonizingly slow. It was killing me, but I didn't object to it. He ran his hand up my arms, pinning them over my head. It was now I realized what he was doing. He was in full control now, and he wanted to watch my eyes as I came undone. I'll admit, it was hard to keep my eyes open, especially since they wanted to slam shut as I got closer and closer to the ledge he'd pulled me back over from just a few moments ago. Finally, my body convulsed, and I moaned his name, my eyes slamming shut. It wasn't long before he came undone above me. He stopped himself from collapsing onto me, by placing his hands on both sides of me, now that he'd given me back some control over my body. I smiled and reached up to touch his face. I swear, seeing him like this, at his most vulnerable is what made our relationship beautiful, because I knew no one else had ever seen him like this. Except maybe his ex-wife, which I'd only learned about today. Regardless, I pushed that thought away.

"I love you." I whispered, my voice shaking slightly. He stared down into my eyes, and smiled.

"Where have you been all of my life?"

"Hiding." I teased. I chuckled. He rolled over, placing his body next to mine. He laid an arm over my stomach, tracing patterns on my skin. My body was still trembling. I wasn't sure if it was from the amazing high I was still experiencing or if it was due to his hands on my skin.

"You're shaking." He pointed out. I smirked.

"I know." I said, shyly. He met my eyes for a second, and pressed the sweetest kiss to my lips. I swear it almost brought tears to my eyes. When he pulled away, he moved a piece of hair out of my face.

"How about that shower?"

"Didn't you already get one?" I asked him. He chuckled.

"Yeah, but I'm thinking I'm going to need another one." He admitted. I smirked. I rolled out of bed, and grabbed a change of clothes with him trailing behind me. He turned on the water and stepped in, pulling me in after him. I smiled as the water ran down his perfectly sculpted body. I swear he was like some kind of god.

"I don't really think it's fair." I said, out loud.

"What's not fair?" He asked, brow furrowed.

"That you are this perfect, and I get to keep you."

"How is that not fair?" He asked, still confused. I laughed.

"It's not fair to other people." I told him. He smirked and shook his head.

"I'm not really anything special."

"I'd have to agree. You're not anything special… You're perfect." I told him, pressing a kiss to a chest. He laughed.

"That's the word that comes to mind when I think of you." He murmured, running a hand down my bare body. I shuddered under his touch, causing him to smile. "I love making you do that."

"Of course." We ended up washing each other, which took an extremely long time considering we'd stop every few seconds to make-out. I wasn't complaining, but I was pretty water logged by the time we got out. I got dressed, and Dimitri wrapped a towel around him and headed out into the room to change. I put on my clothes, threw my hair up, and walked back out. He was laying across the other bed in just his cotton sleep pants. "Such a beautiful sight."

"Yeah, yeah." He muttered. I walked over and laid down beside him, laying my head on his chest. It felt so normal being here with him. Almost like we were a normal couple, who really didn't have to hide anything from anyone, who could just be together, despite everything, but in knew in just a few hours, I'd be back to reality, where I was living a lie. Regardless, I'd do it for him. We laid there in silence for awhile, neither of us saying anything before he finally looked down at me.

"Today… was that darkness at court when you were trying to go after Tatiana?" He asked. I looked up at him.

"I honestly don't know. It's hard to tell what's just my bad attitude, or what's darkness now a days." I admitted. He chuckled.

"It must be really hard to tell seeing as how you have a bad attitude all the time."

"You love my attitude, so shut up." I snapped playfully. He laughed and kissed my forehead.

"You're right. I do." He said. I rolled over, cuddling closer to him.

"Tomorrow… it's back to reality."

"But we don't have to worry about that till tomorrow." He promised. I just nodded.

"Tonight, it's just you and me." I whispered. He smirked.

"I have this feeling an extremely smart man told you that."

"Smart? Nah." He growled at me, causing me to giggle. "I love you."

"Love you too." He pressed his lips to my forehead again, and smiled. "Sweet dreams, my beautiful Roza."

"Sweet dreams." I whispered. And of course, no sooner than I closed my eyes was when Adrian showed up. I knew he'd come to me tonight, but I didn't think it'd be as soon as I fell asleep. I wondered how long he'd been waiting for me to pass out.

"Rose."

"Adrian… are you alright?" I asked. He nodded.

"I'm fine… just stuck for now."

"How is she going to tell you that you have to stay at Court? That is bullshit." I snapped. He shrugged.

"There isn't anything I can do, but when I get out of here, I'll be headed back to the estate hopefully." I shook my head.

"That's a bad idea. They'll look for you there. If you escape, that is." I admitted.

"Where am I gonna go then?" He asked. I thought for a minute before it came to me.

"Go to St. Vladimirs and ask to stay on campus. Tell them you're going to be helping Lissa with spirit, and they'll let you stay in one of the guest houses." I told him. He smiled.

"You're a fucking genius, Hathaway." He said. I laughed.

"Yeah, I'm very aware."

"So, how are things with you and Dimitri going?" He asked, walking towards me. My body tensed.

"Ehh, they're going." I said, dismissively. He chuckled, and looked around me.

"I'll say. You're aura is glowing." My face turned bright red. "Don't be embarrassed."

"Too late." I muttered. He chuckled.

"You're cute when you blush."

"I'm cute twenty four seven." I told him. He laughed.

"This is true." I sighed.

"Look, I should really get some sleep. I've got a long trip in-." He cut me off.

"You are asleep." He said.

"Adrian." I muttered. He laughed.

"Goodnight little dhampir." He murmured, before I fluttered back into my own dreams. Right now, I was in heaven, curled up in Dimitri's arms, but I knew tomorrow and every day after that would be a completely different story. A story I didn't want to continue reading.

A/N: Wooo, We made it to 40 chapters. Alright... I'm excited for the 40 mark, and I don't know why. Haha. Anyways, I hope you guys are enjoying. If the updates slack off, it's because I bought the book 50 Shades of Grey, and I'm fixing to start it, and I'm pretty sure Christian Grey is going to consume my life for atleast three days, but I'll be back ASAP. Love you guys so much, and remember to review and send to your friends and have them review. We're trying to reach a thousand, remember. Help me hit that mark please!


	41. Getting Started!

When I woke up the next morning, Dimitri had his arms wrapped securely around my waist, holding me to his chest. I turned my head and looked up to find him gazing down at me. I smirked.

"Have you been watching me sleep?" I murmured.

"I have."

"That's creepy." I said, simply. I smirked up at him. He rolled his eyes at me.

"It was romantic until you stated it was creepy. Way to ruin a moment, Roza." He muttered. I giggled.

"It's one of my best qualities." I admitted. He leaned down and kissed me, his lips barely brushing mine. It left me hungry, and wanting more but I refrained.

"Morning." He murmured.

"Morning." I sighed, and snuggled closer to him. "Can we just stay here forever?" I murmured. He chuckled and kissed my forehead.

"As much as I would love to stay here in bed with you forever, no. We have to get going soon." He informed me. I knew that. I sat up and rubbed my eyes.

"I don't want to go back."

"I know." He said, simply. We both eventually rolled out of bed, and got dressed. I got a quick shower and got ready as Dimitri loaded the rest of our things into the van. When I got out, the room was empty. I groaned, and threw my bag over my shoulder before walking out the door. Dimitri was standing in the parking lot on the phone. I opened the back door of the van and threw my bag in, before turning back to Dimitri. He snapped his phone closed and walked over to the van.

"You ready?" He asked. I nodded.

"I think so. Let me check and make sure we got everything." I walked back into the room and checked, flipping off all the lights. Before walking out, I stood in the door way staring at the room that had been my own little version of heaven last night. As I stood there, his arms wrapped around my waist.

"We're going to make it." He murmured in my ear. I turned and nodded.

"I know. Let's go." We got in the van, and he drove around to the front of the hotel, turning in our key and checking out. When he got back in the van, he reached over and took my hand.

"You ready for this?"

"As ready as it gets." I assured him. He brought my hand up and kissed my knuckles. He nodded once before pulling back out onto the road. "Who were you on the phone with?" I finally asked, breaking the silence.

"Eddie."

"Does he know where you went when you left?" I asked. I'd been seriously curious ever since Dimitri showed up at court.

"He knows I went after you."

"Does he know why?" I asked, automatically panicking.

"No! God, no. Eddie thinks you ran off because everything you were dealing with got to be too much, and it was all getting to you. I told him we got into an argument, and that was the last straw, you left with Adrian. He thinks you left out of anger towards me and everything else." He explained. I just nodded.

"I can work with that. How much trouble am I in for when I get back?" I asked.

"None. I'm head Guardian. If Eddie feels you need to be punished, he has to take it up with me." Dimitri said, simply. I just nodded. We drove for awhile, and the van fell silent. Neither of us spoke, although I could tell the silence was bothering him. Finally, I built up the courage to ask a question that had been bugging me since we left.

"You were married before?" I asked. He was hesitant in answering. I wondered why.

"I was." He said, simply. Was that it? That was all I got? I wasn't about to give up this easily.

"How long?"

"About two years." He said. I attempted to raise an eyebrow at him, but he never looked at me.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Why are we talking about this? It isn't a big deal. I was married… it didn't work." He said, harshly. I flinched. He looked over at me this time. "Look, Rose… I'm sorry."

"I'm just curious. I understand though. You don't want to talk about it." I turned and looked out the window, not speaking again. After what seemed like an eternity of silence, Dimitri started speaking.

"I was married for two years, but it just didn't work out. She was great, and beautiful, and everything I thought I wanted, but I realized that wasn't where I belonged. I felt strangely out of place once we were married. I stayed as long as I could, hoping the feeling would pass, but it never did. When I told her, she gave me the choice. I left." He said. I just stared at him, but suddenly… I became sincerely afraid. What if that happened with us? What if it was all fine now? We were happy? We'd hide everything and it'd be a secret, and then when we were finally able to be together… really be together, he'd get bored and leave me too. Move onto the next little brunette that strolled into his life. "What are you thinking?"

"Nothing..." I answered, simply.

"Roza, is something wrong?" He asked.

"No." I almost whimpered. That gave me away. I was scared, scared out of my mind that he'd leave me too.

"Don't make me pull this van over, Roza." He snapped, authority in his voice. I didn't speak. I knew if I didn't respond, he'd pull over and that was exactly what I wanted. He whipped the van into a vacant parking lot. The moment the van stopped, I was out the door, walking away. I just needed a minute to clear my thoughts. Of course, I wasn't going to get longer than twenty seconds, because he was now strolling towards me. "What's wrong? I tell you what you want to know, and you stop talking to me." He wouldn't do that to me, would he? Just up and leave me when he got bored.

"What if the same thing happens with us?" I asked, my back turned to him. I couldn't face him.

"What are you talking about?"

"What if you get bored with me? What if when we are finally able to be together, you don't feel like you belong with me anymore? What if you feel out of place with me? Then what? You'll leave me too." I said.

"Roza… look at me." He said. His voice was teetering on the edge of pleading and pain. I turned slowly and met his gaze. He took a few steps forward, closing the distance between us. "I love you. I'm never going to get bored of you. I knew there was more out there for me. I felt like she didn't know me, like no matter how hard I tried that she'd never know the real me. I feel like I can be myself around you more so than I have anyone else in my life. You are where my future is, Roza and I'm never going to leave you. Things are going to get hard, yes. It might not always be the way we want it, but we'll make it. We're strong. We're survivors. We will survive this, and we'll be together. A normal, happy, dhampir couple. It's all I've wanted, ever and I found that in you." I just stared at him.

"Feelings change, love fades; people die or move on to bigger and better things. The way I see it, if you stay with me… I'll only be taking things away from you." I admitted.

"My feelings for you are never going to change. If I doubted us for even a second, I wouldn't have come after you. I would have let you stay with Adrian, and go back to the academy and never seen you again, but I didn't. When you disappeared, it was like half of me left with you. I can't take that again, Roza. I'm not giving up on this. I'll fight for you."

"You're sure… This… That I'm what you want?" I asked.

"I'm more sure about this than I've ever been about anything in my life." He promised me. He offered me his hand. "Trust me?" I hesitantly placed mine in his, allowing him to pull me to him.

"With everything." I whispered. I laid my head against his chest and listened to the soft rhythm of his heart beat.

"Come on, we've got to go or we won't make it back by sun down."

"Another hotel stay?" I asked, excitedly. He chuckled.

"As much as I'd enjoy that, no. I promised Eddie we'd be back today, and I don't think I have the cash for that." I sighed and nodded. He led me back to the van, and opened the door for me, shutting it and walking around to get in. Once we were back out on the road, the silence ensued once again. I wondered what his wife looked like. She was probably older and beautiful. She obviously wasn't enough to keep him interested, and I was perfectly okay with that, because that meant I got him all to myself. The ride was excruciating, but we finally arrived back at the estate. I grabbed my bags out of the van, and started inside.

"If anyone gives you any crap, send them to me. Please, stay out of trouble." He begged before I got to the front door.

"I'll see what I can do." I walked in, and smiled. As much as I hated being away from Lissa, it felt good to be home. I took two steps in the door, and Eddie emerged. He took one look at me, looked at Dimitri and nodded once.

"Good to have you back, Hathaway." He said, snarkily. I smiled to the best of my ability. _Dimitri said stay out of trouble, Rose. _I took a deep breath.

"It's good to be back. I'm sorry I disappeared. I just needed…. A break." I lied. He just nodded once.

"I understand. Just remember, you've got a little less than a month. You better train hard."

"I will." I promised. I turned to Dimitri. "I'm going to go unpack, and get ready for bed. Thank you… for coming and picking me up."

"No problem. I expect you out on the track bright and early tomorrow morning, understand?" I groaned and nodded.

"Yes sir." I picked up my bags and started upstairs. The moment I entered my room, I dropped my things and collapsed on my bed. I thought I'd been done with this place for good, but it was easy to see now, things were just getting started.


	42. Regrets!

The next morning, I woke up to someone beating on my door. I pulled the blankets over my head and groaned.

"Sleep." I snarled at the door.

"Come on, Rose. You're not exempt from training this morning." Dimitri called.

"Five more minutes, mom." I called. It was then the door opened, and closed behind him. I then heard the lock turn, and automatically he had my attention. With each step he took closer to the bed, the tension got thicker, and since I couldn't see him, I had no idea what was going to happen. I felt his weight hit my bed, and his arms wrap around me above the blankets.

"Come on, Roza… get up."

"No, let's just stay here." I whispered. He reached up, and pulled the blankets away from my head, smirking at me.

"Was this all a part of your plan to get me up here?" He asked, accusingly. I giggled.

"No, Dimitri… I don't spend my days plotting how to get you in bed." I watched as his face turned pink, and smirked. I reached up and touched his face, before leaning up and pressing my lips to his. He only kissed back for a second, before pulling away.

"This is a bad idea. I better get back downstairs. You've got five minutes to get ready." He said. I reached up, and brought his mouth back down to mine, kissing him as persuasively as possible.

"Five minutes?" I asked, innocently when he pulled away. He growled.

"Ten minutes, starting now." He snapped playfully, getting up out of my bed, pulling my blankets with him to keep me from laying back down. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed I was wearing nothing but a sports bra and a pair of boy shorts.

"See something you like?" I asked, teasingly. He narrowed his eyes at me.

"I have to go, before neither of us leaves this room. Ten minutes, Hathaway." He said. I nodded.

"You got it comrade." I said, winking at him before he closed the door. I rolled out of bed, and slipped on a pair of sweat pants, rolling them up to my knees, and grabbed a tank top out of one of my duffle bags, and slipped it on. I fixed my hair into a pony tail, and gave myself a once over in the mirror. I went into the bathroom, and brushed my teeth, before heading downstairs. I grabbed a bottle of water, and headed out to the track to find Dimitri stretching. When I approached him, he looked up at me disapprovingly.

"I hope you're not going to make it a habit of being late again." He said.

"With the wake-up call I got this morning, I just might." I teased. He narrowed his eyes at me. He was serious now. "I'm kidding, comrade. I'm not going to be late. It was a onetime deal." I promised. He nodded.

"Good, now stretch so we can get started. It's been awhile for you." He said.

"For you too." I said. He shrugged. I stretched for a few minutes, before standing.

"You ready for this?" He asked.

"When have I ever not been ready?" I asked. The moment the words were out of my mouth, he tried to kick my legs out from under me, but I jumped over them, perching myself on the far side of the mat in attack mode, ready to go. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Ahh, I underestimated you, Ms. Hathaway." He said. I narrowed my eyes.

"Let's go Belikov." I snapped, before lunging at him. We exchanged blows for awhile. I was having a hard time keeping up, although I'd never tell him that. You could tell I hadn't trained in awhile, and now I was getting aggravated that I'd lost so much progress. I kept him a bay, but that was only because I was fast. If it wasn't for my speed, I would have been taken down long ago. Finally, I got tired and faked one way and went straight for his chest. Right when my hand would have hit him, he grabbed my arm, twisting it and bringing me to my knees. It all happened so quick, I didn't have time to retaliate. When he tried to take me the rest of the way down, I threw my feet out, kicking him hard. He stumbled back, but then threw himself at me, with his hands over my heart. _Shit. _He sat up, and smiled.

"Nice to see you haven't lost any stamina since you've been gone." He said. I smirked.

"Yeah, I think you've done a pretty good job of keeping that up, comrade." I teased. He narrowed his eyes at me, but couldn't help but laugh.

"I was being serious." He said, shaking his head at me.

"So was I." I said, giggling. He rolled his eyes and stood up, offering me a hand. I stood and got a drink of water. As I watched him, my mind drifted back to the hotel room, and our day in the woods. How perfect both of those moments had been. God, I missed them already.

"Want to go again, or try something different?" He asked. He shattered my thought process, bringing me back to planet earth.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"What were you thinking about?"

"You." I answered simply. He sighed.

"You're distracting me, Roza."

"Maybe those are my intentions." I teased. He growled.

"You're making this very difficult, Rose." He reprimanded me. I smirked at him, causing him to smile as well. I loved the effect I had on him. It made me feel amazing.

"I'm sorry, comrade. I'm focused now. What was the question?" I asked.

"Do you want to fight again, or try something else?" He asked.

"I could think-." I cut myself off. "Focused…Right, sorry. Let's do something else." He nodded and brought one of the staking dummies forward, handing me a stake.

"You remember how to do this?"

"I think I can figure it out." I told him. He nodded.

"Then go ahead. I'll just sit over here and watch." He motioned for me to begin. He sat down on the sidewalk, and watched. I gripped the stake in my hand, and started in on the dummy, driving my stake through the center of its chest where the heart would have been. I stepped away.

"Not deep enough. Try again." He said. I turned around and narrowed my eyes at him, before pulling it out, and trying again. This time, I put more force behind it, causing it to go in deeper. I turned to him. He nodded in approval.

"That one was good. Try again."

"How many times are you going to make me do this?" I asked. He shrugged.

"However many I feel is necessary." He said, smiling at me. I growled and yanked the stake out, doing it again. I had some trouble a couple times, because Dimitri kept giving me situations that forced me to do it with one arm, or walking instead of getting a running start, or staking it from the back. The last time, when I was about to go in for the last staking, he got up and walked over towards me, standing behind me. He ran his hand down my arm gently, causing goosebumps to rise. He moved my hand up higher on the stake, and nodded. He traced his hand back up my body, before placing his hands on my waist, and turning me slightly. It was now I knew what he was trying to do. _Bastard. _

"Your right side is stronger. Bring your power from this side." He breathed, his breath tickling my neck. I was almost panting now. There was no way in hell I was going to be able to do this now. _Damn him. Damn him and his fuckin' distractions. _I took a deep breath and did exactly what he said, driving the stake through the dummies heart. I turned around and looked at him, smirking.

"Nice try." I muttered, pulling the stake out and pointing it at him. I took a step closer, causing him to put his hands up in surrender.

"I was just trying to help." He assured me. I nodded, taking a few steps closer. He backed away, smiling innocently. I lowered the stake and grinned at him.

"I thoroughly believe you are too sexy for you own good." I muttered. He chuckled.

"Thank you?"

"It was a compliment." I assured him. We trained a little more, sparring some and then fighting once more. I helped him clean up the mats and dummies, aching to be with him as long as possible since I knew I was alone tonight. When we finally got everything put up, he sighed.

"Can I ask you something?" He murmured. I looked up at the sound of his voice.

"Yeah?" I had a feeling I'd regret it.

"If I wouldn't have come after you, would you have honestly stayed away?" He asked. _Woah, bipolar moment. _I just stared at him. I thought about lying, but decided against it. He'd be able to tell anyway.

"I like to think that I wouldn't have been able to stay away from you, but I know I would have. If you wouldn't have come after me, yes. I wouldn't have ever seen you again, I'm sure." I told him. He just nodded, but looked extremely unhappy about it. I placed my hand on his arm.

"Only because you made me understand that this wasn't something I could just give up on. I love you too much for that. All I could focus on was the pain, while I was gone, but when you showed up… I knew that this was real. Please, don't be upset." He smiled at me, this obviously making him happy.

"I'm not upset." He touched my face. "Thank you for being honest with me."

"I've never been anything but honest with you." I said, simply. He nodded.

"And I thank you for that." We walked inside, going our separate ways. I made myself a sandwich and sat down in the kitchen. I'd just finished it, and stood up when the novices started exiting the gym. Glenn of course was the first one to spot me. _Here we go again. _

"Look whose back." Glenn said.

"Yeah, I'm sure you were so unhappy when I disappeared." I said.

"Well, you kind of have a knack for disappearing… don't you?" He asked, smartly.

"You're treading on thin ice, Glenn. You know what happens when we do this, and it never ends well for you." I said, simply.

"Yeah, well you've been gone and out of commission for awhile… so I'm pretty sure I could take you now." He said. I snorted.

"It's good to know you've got a sense of humor, Glenn. Too bad that won't save you when the strigoi are ripping your heart out of your chest… or snacking on your moroi." I watched him go from snarky to angry in a split second. I'd hit a soft spot.

"You don't know anything, Hathaway."

"I've been out in the world, Glenn. I've seen a lot more than you have, so I'd wager I know A LOT more than you do. Now, why don't you go on about your merry little day like a good boy?" I said, trying to get him off my back. I was so sick of this kid, and he just didn't seem to get it.

"Let's just hope what happened with Landon doesn't happen with Lissa." He muttered, before starting to walk away.

"Fuck you, Glenn. I feel bad for the moroi you're assigned to, because they'll be dead within the first month." I growled.

"Yeah, I'm sure the princess will be safe in your hands. Since you're both fucking crazy psychopaths." I lost it, and started towards him, when Dimitri exited his room, stepping in front of me.

"Glenn… get to your room…Now." Dimitri snarled. His eyes were on me though. "Rose, outside."

"Are you fucking kidding me? Did you hear what he-." He cut me off.

"Outside." He repeated. I turned and walked out the backdoor, slamming it hard behind me. I didn't bother worrying about what Dimitri was going to say to Glenn. I didn't care. I was seething. He'd only seen Lissa's darkness, and a lot of what he'd seen of me was darkness as well. I swung hard and hit the side of the estate, the bones in my hand protesting as it connected.

"Can't even behave for a full day, can you?" I heard. I looked up to find Eddie walking towards me.

"Now's not the time to play with me, Castille."

"Awe, come on Rose." He said, shaking his head. "I'm just teasing. You know you do have a knack for getting into trouble."

"Why are you out here? What do you want?" I demanded.

"Just curious as to why you up and disappeared." He said. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"Dimitri already told you. You being out here on my back isn't exactly making me want to stay." I snapped at him. He narrowed his eyes.

"I feel like I'm missing a major part of the story. Am I?" He asked. I growled at him.

"What is it you want from me?" I demanded.

"The truth, because I sincerely feel like I'm being lied to, and I don't like it. I'm second in command here, and I want to know what's really going on."

"I'm a fucking psychopath, Eddie. I have darkness eating me from the inside out. That's enough to drive me to extremes. My best friend, Landon… he's dead because of me. Lissa is at the academy without me. I have to stay here, in a place where everyone fucking hates me. Tell me that wouldn't drive you up the walls, Castille. I had to get out. Dimitri talked me into coming back and giving it another try, but you out here in my back is kind of making me wish I hadn't come back." I snarled. He just stared at me for a second before turning when the door opened.

"Eddie, what are you doing?" Dimitri asked. He looked concerned when I turned to look at him.

"Just chatting with Hathaway. I'll leave you to take care of her now." He said. Eddie nodded at me once. "Rose." He turned and walked back inside, slamming the door behind him. Once he was gone, I was panting, on the verge of losing my mind. _He's onto us. SHIT! _

"What just happened out here? Hey… Rose…" He tried to wrap his arms around me, but right now, I didn't need to be restrained. I pulled out of his embrace, and put my hands up in surrender.

"Just… don't touch me right now." I said.

"Rose… are you alright?" He asked.

"No… I'm not fucking alright. I want to kill something." I snarled at him.

"It's the darkness." He murmured softly, taking a step towards me.

"It isn't. This is me."

"Of course you'd say that." He muttered.

"Can you just leave me alone?" I snapped, looking away from him. _God, I just wanted to fucking run. _Why the hell did I let him drag me back here?

"No, I'm not." I groaned and walked away from him, knowing he'd follow. _Damn him. _"What did Eddie say to you?" That snapped me to attention.

"He's onto us." I whispered.

"WHAT?" He demanded. I watched as his resolve shattered.

"He knows there's something going on here. He knows he's being lied to. He was questioning why I left, and why you came after me." I explained. My anger was slowly decreasing as I became more and more concerned.

"Shit." He muttered. I raised an eyebrow. I hadn't ever heard Dimitri cuss in English. It was kind of sexy.

"What are we going to do?" I asked, seriously.

"We're going to do what we do best."

"Lie." We both said together, nodding. I sighed. His expression was unreadable. It made me worry that he was rethinking things. What if… what if he didn't get bored with me, but just got tired of hiding, of the lies and gave up?

"Ever wish you would have put a stop to us before we got in too deep?" I asked him. His face drained of all color then, as his eyes met mine with a serious intensity.

"I regret a lot of things, Roza… but being with you… it isn't one of them." He offered me his hand, and when I took it, he pulled me into his arms and held me. I knew he couldn't really kiss me, but he made due with pressing a kiss to the top of my head. His answer squelched all of my fears immediately.

"I love you." I whispered.

"As I love you, Roza."


	43. Watching!

A week went by, and training got intense. Dimitri informed me, that before I left I'd have a final exam, kind of like the Field Experience or trials back at the academy. I'd be fighting one of the other mentors, to see how good I'd become. If they deemed me worthy, then I was good to go. If they said I wasn't, I'd be assigned a Mentor when I got back to St. Vladimirs. The thought of having a mentor besides Dimitri made me shudder. I hated to even think about it. As far as our relationship went, we'd kept it under wraps pretty well. Eddie was still sneaking around, looking for something; anything to give away what was really going on. Of course, he didn't find anything. After training on Friday, Dimitri and I sat on the sidewalk.

"Do you know who I'm going to be fighting next week?" I asked.

"Yes, I do." He muttered, grudgingly. That's when I knew. _Eddie. _

"Son-of-a-bitch. Why Eddie?" I demanded.

"He's who you fought when you first arrived, so he's who you'll fight when you leave. That's the way it's always worked here."

"And you can't change it?" I asked. He shook his head and sighed.

"Changing it now will make it look suspicious."

"I guess it would." I muttered. I turned to look at Dimitri. "I can't promise I won't hurt him."

"Hurt him… it'll do him good. Smug son-of-a-bitch that he is." I chuckled, which caused him to raise an eyebrow. I hated it when he did that.

"What?"

"It's strange hearing you cuss in English. Normally when you swear, you do it in Russian." I informed him. He shrugged.

"I guess I do, huh? You're rubbing off on me, Roza." He said.

"I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing." I admitted. He smiled.

"Me either." He said. I laughed. We fell silent for a few moments, before I spoke.

"Two weeks." I finally murmured. I hit me harder and harder every day.

"I've already told you, Roza… I don't want to talk about it now." He said, standing up. I stood up as well, glaring at him.

"When would you like to talk about it then, Dimitri? Because we don't have that much time now." I snapped. Amazing how our mood plummeted in a matter of seconds. Regardless, we had to discuss this. We couldn't beat around this bush forever, no matter how much he wanted to.

"Now isn't the right time, nor place."

"What are you going to do? Wait till the day before I leave?" I demanded. He shook his head.

"Roza, please drop it." He said.

"I won't until you tell me what you're planning. I know you're keeping it from me because you know I'm going to tell you no."

"That's exactly why." He said.

"What the hell are you going to do?" I demanded. He shook his head.

"Tell me, or when I leave, I'll go back to Adrian. I won't go back to St. Vladimirs."

"You wouldn't dare." He snapped.

"Try me. I did it once… think I won't do it again." I threatened. He narrowed his eyes at me, and ran a hand through his hair.

"You are impossible." He said.

"Don't try and change the subject. What are you planning?" I demanded.

"I've put in my notice with court, and have called St. Vladimirs. When you leave, I'm going with you." He told me. I stared at him, not sure I'd heard right. _Did he just… he's coming with me?_ God, I'd been so afraid I was going to have to leave him, and that I'd never see him again, and now I'd get to see him every day, just like I did here. It couldn't get more perfect than that… but that's when it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I knew what I had to do.

"No." I said. He looked surprised.

"What?" I shook my head, and ran a hand through my hair.

"You can't go to St. Vladimirs. You can't leave this place behind… Dimitri, you've worked so hard to get here, to get all of this… and you're just going to throw that all away… I can't ask you to do that."

"We've already been over this. I'm willing to give this all up for you." He said.

"But I'm not willing to let you. You can't do this. Call them back, and tell them you've changed you mind." I said. He shook his head.

"No."

"What do you mean, no. God damn it, Dimitri. You're not giving all this up for me." I snapped at him. I was angry now.

"Why can't you just except that I'd do anything and everything to stay with you, forever?" He asked.

"And what about when I graduate? Gonna quit that job too? Move to wherever Lissa and I go?" I asked. He looked away and nodded. "You sound like a love sick teenager, Dimitri. You're being irrational. You're not going to St. Vladimirs."

"I can't just let you go with the chance I'll never see you again." He told me.

"That was a chance we took when we made the decision to be together. You knew that it would come to this as well as I did."

"And I knew what I'd have to do, what I'd have to give up. I came to terms with that a long time ago. I don't think you realize how much you mean to me, how much I'd be willing to give up for you." He said. I knew this was going to be difficult, making him see sense, but I didn't think it'd be this difficult.

"Tell me something… If I had to choose between being with you or guarding Lissa… would you honestly let me give her up? Would you honestly let me leave her behind to be with you?" I asked.

"God, no." He said, immediately. I nodded.

"Now think about how hard you've worked to get here, to acquire all of this. Do you honestly think I'd let you give all of this up for me? Dimitri, I want you with me more than anything in the world, but I can't ask you to leave this behind. Plus, who's going to run the place if you leave? Eddie? Those poor kids wouldn't have a hope in hell of surviving a strigoi attack." This got a chuckle out of him, but he still wasn't happy.

"Roza…" He murmured.

"Promise me… promise me you won't do this. I'll never forgive myself if you give all this up for me." I told him.

"Why do you do this to me?" He demanded.

"Because this is right. You're already risking so much by just being with me. I can't ask you to leave this behind too. This is what you've worked hardest for. You need to keep working hard for it. Just promise me you'll call them back and tell them you've changed your mind. Please." I begged. He stared at me for the longest time, before he looked away.

"Fine."

"You'll call them?" I asked. He nodded.

"I'll call them this evening." He informed me. I sighed in relief. I wanted to kiss him, but I knew there was a great possibility we were being watched. Instead, I gazed up at him with all the love I could conjure up.

"I don't think you understand even half of what you mean to me."

"I was just thinking the same thing." He admitted. I smiled.

"I love you."

"I miss you." He said. I realized what it was he was talking about. It had been a week since we'd slept together, had sex, or really had any intimate contact. It had been driving us both mad, even though neither of us would admit it. Every night I tossed and turned in bed, wishing he'd show up at my door, but he never did. I knew we couldn't take that risk.

"I know." I breathed. I stood up, and sighed. "It really isn't fair."

"And when you leave… it'll be-." I cut him off with a shake of his head.

"I don't want to talk about that."

"Remember, this was your decision. You can always change your mind." He said, looking at me all too persuasively.

"I know what you're doing… and no." I said, simply. He was driving me insane. _Damn him. _

"Roza, I really wish you'd reconsider. Are you really ready to give all this up? Not see me for a year… maybe longer." I winced at his words. I knew it was going to be hard. I knew I'd have to deal with the fact I wouldn't see him for long periods of time, but I was willing to deal with that, just to call him mine.

"I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I accepted that long ago. I'm not reconsidering anything. You're going to stay here, and I'm going back to St. Vladimirs." I told him. He just nodded.

"If that's the way you want it."

"Will you stop that? I'm doing what's best for you, whether you want to believe that or not. If you went to St. Vladimirs with me, don't you think that'd be a little suspicious? Don't you think Eddie or the other guardians would suspect something? That you were leaving and going to work at the school your novice attends? These guys aren't as dumb as they look." I snapped, standing up and running a hand through my hair.

"What proof would they have of anything?" He asked me.

"None, but then we'd have St. Vladimirs administration breathing down our necks, and what good would that do us? We'd be as locked up there as we are here." I told him. "We can do this, Dimitri. I know we can. You have to believe that."

"I do… I just don't know how long I can go without seeing you."

"You'll be at St. Vladimirs for Field Experience and for Trial's. I'll see you then."

"That's two months from now." He said, shaking his head. "I can't wait that long."

"You can. You'll learn it's not that difficult. You're only saying this now because I'm here every day." I said.

"You're wrong. You were gone for a day and a half and I couldn't stand it. That's why I came after you." He informed me.

"That was because I left because of you. You were upset about me leaving you. This time, I'm leaving because I have too, not because I want too. If I could stay here with you forever… I would." I told him. He sighed, and remained silent for a few moments before nodding.

"You're right… I'm sorry. We can do this. We're strong." He said.

"We're survivors. We'll survive this."

"What about after you graduate?" He asked.

"I'll be eighteen before then, and I can come and go as I please. I might even ask for a job here, so I can work on my days off with Lissa." I said, smirking at him. His eyes lit up at the thought.

"You have no idea how bad I want to kiss you, right now. I hate that we're being watched."

"I know." I breathed, closing my eyes. "I need to go inside now." I admitted, before turning around and walking away. I knew if I stayed out here with him any longer, I'd throw myself at him. I went inside and upstairs, avoiding contact with any of the novices or guardians. I sat in my room, trying to keep myself busy. I checked on Lissa, worked on some things for St. Vladimirs, and sat around. It was late when I finally gave up. I couldn't stand it anymore. I'll take the damn risk. I put on a large t-shirt and quietly made my way downstairs. I checked the house to make sure there was no one around before knocking quietly on Dimitri's door. The moment he opened it, I threw myself at him and into his arms, bringing his mouth to mine. I kicked the door closed behind me, locking it. He locked his arms around my waist, pressing me hard against his body. We kissed each other hungrily, like we were starving. I was starving for him. It had been too long. _A week. It'd been a week._ How the hell was I going to stand a month? A year? Maybe longer? He moved me over to his bed, never removing his lips from mine. God, I missed this.

"So much about risking getting caught." He whispered against my throat. I shook my head.

"Less talking, more kissing." I mumbled, pulling his mouth back to mine. I felt his chuckle as he trailed his hand down my body to the back of my knee, hitching my leg around his waist. I moaned against his mouth. I laid my hands on his bare chest, tracing the plains of the muscles there. He was too sexy to be real and he was mine. _ALL MINE. _

"You're mine, alright… Never forget that." I whispered, when we pulled away to breath.

"Yours… always." That's when clothes started coming off, my large t-shirt, my shorts, his sleep pants. We were on the brink, to the point of no return when I heard footsteps in the kitchen. Dimitri and I both froze immediately.

"Shit." I whispered. He shook his head and put a finger to his lips. We both listened hard until we heard the footsteps travel back upstairs. We'd both been holding our breath, because when the sound faded, we both breathed a sigh of relief. I giggled as I stared up at him. "Talk about a buzz kill." I muttered. He shook his head.

"Nope, I'm still pretty high off you." He whispered, before his mouth was back on mine, and we continued right where he'd left off.

When it was over, I laid against his chest, trying to catch my breath.

"God, I've missed you." I muttered, running a hand through his hair. I could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke.

"I've missed you too, Roza." He said. He nuzzled his face in my hair and took a deep breath. "You smell delicious." I felt myself flush, as I buried my face into his chest.

"Thanks." I whispered. He chuckled.

"You better get back upstairs. If someone comes down and catches you-." He shuddered. I nodded and climbed off him, gathering my clothes off the floor. When I was dressed, I kissed him hard one last time.

"Maybe that will hold us over for awhile." I whispered, as I fixed my hair.

"Maybe." He said, winking at me. I grinned and opened his door, slipping out and closing it behind me. The moment I turned around, I jumped. There I was staring into a face that I didn't want to see. _Glenn. _

Shit.


	44. Swearing

You've got to be fucking kidding me. He met my gaze, eyebrows raised.

"Well hello there, Hathaway." He said, obviously amused. _Damn it. _This was why we decided against seeing each other while we were here. _God, you're stupid, Rose. _

"Glenn." I muttered.

"Want to inform me what you're doing in Guardian Belikov's room at," He turned to the clock on the wall. I knew what time it was, jackass. "one in the afternoon?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Last I checked, what I do is none of your fucking concern." I hissed, trying to keep my voice down. I wanted to yell.

"Hmm… This looks pretty suspicious to me, Hathaway. I might just have to share this with Guardian Castille." _God, NO! _Come on, Rose. You're an awesome liar. Come up with something.

"Go ahead. Castille isn't in charge. That doesn't bother me." I said, my voice wavering at the end. _Shit, come on Hathaway. _

"Really? Maybe I'll just go inform him right now."

"It's one in the afternoon, Castille is asleep. Go ahead and wake him up. He's cranky in the morning. Trust me, I'd know." I growled, remembering when I'd been his novice. I was so glad him and Dimitri traded.

"You're right… I'll just let him know at practice."

"Glenn, I don't answer to you." I snapped at him. He smirked at me. He loved trying to ruin my life. God, I hate this kid.

"But you do answer to Guardian Castille."

"I answer to Dimitri." I snapped.

"Obviously." He said, motioning to his door. _Oh God, no. _

"Glenn… I was fuckin' informing him about Lissa. Lissa… you know, my psycho best friend that tried to kill you? Yeah… She's going through a rough time. We're bonded. I died once; she brought me back to life. She's eaten up with darkness. I'm the only one that knows about it. I inform Dimitri; Dimitri informs the nurse and staff at St. Vladimirs. There, are you happy now? Now that you've pried useless information out of me, because you love to watch me squirm?" I demanded. He stared at me for a second, before smiling.

"It's true… I do enjoy watching you squirm."

"Fuck you, Glenn." I said, before walking past him, hitting him hard with my shoulder and walking upstairs. I heard his laughter as I went up the stairs. It made me that much more angry. I growled as I walked into my room, slamming the door. So much for my sex high, blissful sleep. Damn him. I curled up in bed, and closed my eyes. It took forever for me to fall asleep, but when I finally did, I was pulled into Adrian's dream world. He chuckled, but I watched as his face went grave.

"Someone's been with Dimitri today." He informed me, walking into my view. I felt my face get hot, but then Glenn came to mind.

"I don't want to talk about it." I growled. Adrian raised an eyebrow, but I shook my head. "Don't." He just nodded.

"Alright… Well, I'm pleased to let you know that I am not currently residing on St. Vladimir's campus." He said. My mood brightened considerably.

"Really? How'd you manage that?" I asked, smiling. He grinned.

"My aunt was a lot more convincible when you weren't around." He said.

"Of course she was…" I said. He chuckled.

"You were a little more than she could handle." He said. I snorted.

"And naturally you can handle me?"

"Of course." He informed me. I laughed.

"You're a piece of work, Ivashkov." He nodded.

"I'm very aware. Thanks so much." He said. I rolled my eyes. "How much longer now? Two weeks till you're here?" I nodded. _Two weeks till you'll be leaving Dimitri behind._

"Yeah, two weeks."

"Good… It's boring here without you." He informed me. I smiled, even though my thoughts hadn't left my departure from Dimitri.

"I bet it is. Have you talked to Lissa?" I asked.

"Yeah, I saw her once. She was pretty happy I'm here. I think something's going on with her. I'm not really sure." He admitted.

"I haven't picked anything up. I'll be sure to keep a close eye on her though. Look out for her, would ya?" I asked. He nodded.

"Anything for you, Ms. Hathaway." He murmured. I rolled my eyes. "I'll let you sleep. See you in two weeks." The dream world disappeared, and there I was, back in my room.

"See you in two weeks." I whispered, my voice trailing off. There went any hope of me sleeping tonight.

When I woke up the next morning, my body was aching from lack of sleep. I groaned as I rolled out of bed, and changed clothes. I was in a horrible mood, and I knew that would show the moment I walked out the back door. Dimitri could always tell when something was wrong. Damn our connection. I threw my hair up in a bun, and headed downstairs and out the backdoor. Dimitri looked up, and smiled but the moment he met my gaze, his face went somber.

"What is it?"

"Nothing." I lied smoothly. He narrowed his eyes.

"Rose… don't make me beat it out of you." He said, exasperated. I wrinkled my nose at him.

"You say it like I'm scared of you."

"Don't change the subject… what is it?" He asked me. I sighed, and ran a hand through my hair.

"Glenn caught me leaving your room last night."

"WHAT?" He exclaimed. The look of fear and terror that spread over his face made my heart ache. It would always be this way with us.

"I took care of it. I made up this big great lie, and he bought it. I just… I was scared. I hate having to deal with that fuck face and I couldn't kick his ass, because that would have made it seem even more suspicious. You should be proud. I refrained from killing him right outside your door." I said.

"Rose… We can't come that-." I cut him off.

"I know. It was a lapse of my better judgment last night, and for that I apologize. I just really want to forget it happened, and just get on with my day." I said.

"You're sure he bought your lie?" He asked. I nodded.

"I'm positive. I brought up Lissa and how she tried to kill him. I think he bought it." Dimitri rolled his eyes at me. "He threatened to tell Eddie."

"What did you tell Glenn? I'll need to know the story incase Eddie does ask."

"That I went to you to inform you that Lissa was having another spaz attack. I had to go tell you in order for you to inform staff at St. Vladimirs." I told him. He nodded.

"I hope he doesn't ask." He said.

"I don't think he will. Speaking of St. Vladimirs though, Adrian's staying there."

"Really?" He seemed unhappy about it. I knew it was because I'd sent Adrian there, but I wouldn't let him come with me.

"Adrian has no life. He doesn't have anything better to do. Plus, he's helping Lissa. You, you have things to do. Like, teach me how to be a good guardian, so let's hop to it, shall we?" I asked. He nodded and walked over to the mat. We sparred for what seemed like an eternity. I'd win, then he'd win. I'd win, then he'd win again. In the end, we tied and had to have a rematch. He took me to the mat, but this time I wasn't going down without a fight. I shifted our weight, rolling us over and placing myself on top of him. He was quick, and extremely good at guarding his chest. He started to roll us back over, and I used that one second of weakness as my change. I slammed the palm of my hand hard against his chest before I was fully on my back.

"Dead." I whispered. He growled at me, because he knew he was beaten.

"God damn it, Roza." I beamed up at him. He stood up, and helped me up. I stumbled a little as the blood rushed back to my head. He raised an eyebrow. "You alright?"

"Yeah, head rush." He grinned. I helped him roll up the mats and put them away. When we were back outside, Dimitri looked at me.

"Are you ready for your final exam on Wednesday?"

"It's that soon?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yes. The last week is used to finish up any leftover stuff, and to get you packed up." He informed me. He wasn't looking at me now though. It was hitting me hard. My time here with him was coming to an end. This was going to be over soon. I'd be without him, for god knows how long. I just nodded.

"I'm ready." I murmured.

"Hey… you're going to do great. You're going to go back to St. Vladimirs and you're going to kick ass." He promised. I shook my head at him.

"You're swearing too much." I said. He gave me that half smile. "I like it." He rolled his eyes at me.

"Of course you do, Rose. Of course you do. I'm picking up your bad habits."

"Most people do when they've been around me for too long." I informed him. He sighed.

"What am I going to do with you?" He asked.

"I could think of a few things." I muttered, seductively. He narrowed his eyes at me.

"Knock it off. We've already been caught once." I shrugged.

"I like danger."

"ROSE!" He scolded me, smirk plastered to his face. I laughed.

"I'm going to go shower. See you around, comrade." I walked away, shaking my but a little as I made my way towards the door. I heard him mutter something under his breath in Russian. I giggled as I walked in. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water, before heading upstairs and showering. When I was done, I decided I was going to start packing now. It'd give me more time to spend with Dimitri over my last week here. I packed up the things I wouldn't use or need, and straightened up my room. I didn't want to sit around and do nothing, and dwell on things I didn't want to think about. When I was done, I went into the kitchen and made myself a sandwich. Eddie walked around the corner, and my whole world froze. _Had he been informed of my location last night? _He smiled slightly, and nodded his head before walking outside. I hadn't realized I'd been holding my breath until he disappeared out the door. _God, Rose, paranoid much? _I finished my food, and went back upstairs crawling into bed. This time, Adrian didn't invade my dreams, and I got a good night's sleep. It was desperately needed.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I know you guys have been waiting forever to find out what happened with Rose & Glenn and I know this chapter's really short, and I'm sorry. I've got a new idea for a Rose and Adrian fan fiction I wanna start. Now be honest, review and let me know. Would you read a Rose & Adrian fic? Cause the last Adrian fan-fic I did got little attention, and I don't want to waste my time. I write with you guys in mind. Alright, that aside… another thing I feel I need to address. To those of you who were reading my short fics from Fifty Shades of Grey specifically "Dream of Me" and noticed that it's now gone… it was removed by the site. I'm thinking someone reported it, which kind of pissed me off, but nonetheless I'll deal. There were two chapters, and I know a lot of people saw the first one, but it was removed before a lot of people read the second one, sooo… if you guys want to read the second one, PM me and I'll send it to you that way so you can read it. Yes, I'm willing to do this with everyone who wants to read it, so… if you want to, go for it. Anyways, review and let me know what you think about the Rose/Adrian Fic, and what you thought of this chapter, of course. ;) Thanks guys.**

**-April. **


	45. Pay!

I woke up Wednesday morning, pumped and ready to go. I looked at the clock to see I'd woken up an hour early, so I quickly got dressed and did my hair and make-up, before heading downstairs and out the back door to the track. I lined up with the fence and readied myself. I wanted to get my adrenaline going before I had to face Eddie, even though I knew I could take him out. I ran the track twice before I looked up to see Dimitri at the fence. When I made it back to him, he smiled.

"Good morning." He murmured. I was sweaty and out of breath, but I nodded.

"Morning."

"Getting yourself ready?" He asked me. I nodded.

"Trying to get myself pumped." He laughed.

"It's funny because Eddie's doing the same thing." I smiled and crossed my arms.

"He's concerned he's going to lose."

"He should be." Dimitri said, smirking. "I trained you."

"That's right." I said.

"One more week… and I'll be gone." I said, looking down at the ground. I'd agreed with myself that I wouldn't think about it until after this was over, but it was hitting me hard now. One more week left with Dimitri, and he'd be gone for a good four months. I shuddered.

"We're going to make it, alright?" He took my hand in his and squeezed it tight, being the reassurance I needed. "You need to focus on what's at hand right now, and that's kicking Castille's ass, like I've taught you."

"Okay." I nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm focused." I told him. He smiled and looked down at his watch.

"It's almost time, are you ready?" I just nodded once, and took a deep breath. Stealthily he leaned over, and pressed a quick kiss to my mouth. "Knock em' dead baby girl." He whispered. I met his gaze and nodded again.

"Duh." I muttered, as I followed him inside and to the gym. Everyone else was already inside, seated on the benches much like the day we arrived here, except… one was missing. I felt like someone had just punched me in the chest. _Landon. _I hadn't thought about him in awhile, since I was training for today, but God, after we became close, I always imagined our last week here together, how much fun we'd have, how hard it would be to say goodbye, but I didn't get that privilege. I'd stopped right in the middle of the gym, my heart pounding in my chest now, my breathing shallow. Dimitri turned to me, and his eyes went wide.

"Rose… what is it?" He asked.

"I… I uhm… I just need a second." I murmured, before walking out and into the foyer. I laid my head against the wall, taking deep breaths, trying to calm myself down. "Just breath, Rose." I whispered.

"Rose, what is it?" Dimitri asked, his hand on my back.

"Nothing… I just-." I stopped, and shook my head, trying to prevent tears from falling down my face. I wouldn't cry, _not today. _"One of us is missing." I finally said. He fell silent.

"_Landon." _He murmured. I nodded.

"It just hit me hard that we were all here like we were the first day here… but he isn't. I just didn't-." Dimitri grabbed my shoulder, and turned me around to look at him.

"Rose, do you have any idea, any idea at all of how proud he would be of you today? That you made it this far? That you've done everything you set out to do here? That boy idolized you. He'd be so proud." He told me.

"I wanted to be able to share this day with him, this week with him. I wanted to be able to say good-bye to him." I murmured.

"We all did, but in our profession things like this happen. You know that. Rose, he's gone. I'm sorry I have to be so blunt, but it's true. The only thing you can do for him now is continue to make him proud. He'd hate to see you like this over him." I took a deep breath, and nodded.

"You're right. You're right. I'm fine." I stood up straight, and looked up at him. "Thank you." He pulled me into his arms, and held me for a moment before he released me, and we walked back into the gym. I took my seat on the bench. The guardians began speaking, first Dimitri.

"Congratulations to all of you for making it this far. You've all worked very hard to get to this point, and on behalf of all of us here, we'd like to say thank you for being an amazing group of kids, and an even better group of fighters. You guys have worked very hard to get to this point, and you've done it in a flawless and professional manner. Each and every one of you has turned into amazing Guardians. I could care less that none of you have been promised, each and every one of you have risen to Guardian status, which is exactly what we were trying to accomplish here." He said. His eyes landed on me then, as he spoke the next words. "It's going to be hard to let you go." I felt tears well to my eyes, but I quickly blinked them back. Eddie then stepped forward.

"Guardian Belikov is right. You guys have been amazing to work with. It's been amazing watching each and every one of you grow. I remember watching each and every one of you on intro day, and thinking to myself _"oh boy, this should be interesting" _but once again, you each proved to me how amazing of fighters you could be. I can't wait to watch all of you today to see how much you've grown. So let's get started, shall we?" He called one of the other two girls up, and paired them up with the Guardian they'd fought on introduction day. The first few that were called up won, which surprised me. I hadn't seen any of the others train a lot since I was always outside. They were right about how much they've grown though. Glenn was called up, and Eddie stepped forward. I raised an eyebrow, confused. I thought Eddie was going to be the one I fought. I was confused, as I watched them fight. I looked at Dimitri, and he shrugged. He obviously didn't understand either. He took the clipboard from the guardian and he narrowed his eyes slightly. _Oh shit. _I watched as Eddie pinned Glenn, and placed a hand over his chest. Glenn had lost. I couldn't help but giggle to myself. Eddie stood, and took the clip board back.

"Rose…" I stood up, and walked over to the mat. I heard the door open, and looked up to see Guardian Young standing in the doorway. I narrowed my eyes at Eddie. _Fucker. _Regardless, I smiled at Guardian Young as he approached. He stepped onto the mat, and raised an eyebrow at me.

"How've you been Hathaway?" He asked.

"Oh don't even try to psych me out, Guardian Young." I said, smirking at him. This wasn't for fun anymore. This was serious and I had to win. I crouched down, and so did he. I then waited on his first move. When he hesitated, I went in throwing a kick to his ribs, but he deflected most of it. He tried to pull my legs out from under me, but I swung, causing him to step back. He circled again, before he lunged, me faking him out and giving him a hard kick to the back of the knees. He stumbled forward, but didn't fall. It was becoming obvious now that Landon's amazing balance in battle had been taught by Guardian Young. My heart jumped, but I didn't let it stop me. He recovered quickly, and moved back in on me. I caught a swift punch to the face, causing everyone else to wince. I didn't even feel it. My adrenaline was pumping so much I lunged at him, taking him to the mat. I let out a fury of punches, hitting him everywhere I could, trying to fight to get to his chest. He was swift, and good at blocking. He rolled us, putting me on my back. I fought against him, pushing him off me, and fighting my way to my feet. We stared at each other, smiling like idiots. This was going to take awhile, and we knew it. We lunged back in for each other, him missing me completely. I kicked his feet out from under him, and laughed as he hit the mat. I didn't even bother going after him. I just watched as he stood and turned around to glare at me. I smirked and crouched down, serious this time. I was going to end this. He lunged forward, and this time I didn't move. I deflected most of his hits but he swung one that I didn't have time to deflect and I took it right to the eye. I cussed and stumbled back, but I still didn't let it stop me. I kicked him hard in the stomach, and used his 2 second hesitation to slam the palm of my hand right into his chest and hold it there.

"Dead." I said, out of breath. He stood there, staring at me, both of us worn out.

"That was amazing, Rose." He told me. I just nodded, not sure I could say anything. "Are you okay?"

"I'm… I'm okay." I stuttered. The adrenaline was slowly fading now, and I was starting to feel everything. I looked at Guardian Young, and smiled. "If Landon were still here, he would have been just as good as you. You're an amazing fighter and an amazing Guardian." I said, not sure where it had come from. Guardian Young's face went somber for a second, before smiling slightly.

"Thank you, Rose." He stepped forward and wrapped an arm around my waist before kissing my forehead. "I wish you the best in everything." He turned and nodded to Eddie and Dimitri before he walked out. I stood on the mat, feeling battered and broken. Dimitri approached me.

"Are you okay, Rose?"

"I'm… I'm fine." I tried to walk back over to the bench and my knees gave. He caught me and scooped me up into his arms, placing me on the bench.

"Rose… hey, look at me?" Dimitri asked. I didn't know what was wrong with me. The strain on my body from sparring with him was something I'd never felt before. I looked up at him. "What's wrong? Do you feel dizzy, light headed?" He asked.

"I feel… tired." I mumbled, my voice barely audible. He reached up and touched my left eye, causing me to flinch.

"It's bruising. I'm going to get you some ice, are you going to be okay?" He asked. I nodded.

"I don't need ice… I'll be fine, Dimitri." I said, waving him off. He narrowed his eyes.

"Eddie, keep an eye on her." He said, as he jumped up and started out of the gym. All eyes were on me, probably because I looked pretty damn rough and fought harder than most of them did.

"Why didn't I fight you, Eddie?" I mumbled. "You were who I fought on intro day."

"Guardian Young wanted the privilege, so I gave it to him." He said. Guardian Young had wanted to fight me? I just shook my head. Of course he did. After everything with Landon, him being my trial guardian was his way of seeing me off and making sure I was ready, for Landon. I couldn't help but smile. Dimitri returned with my bag of ice and placed it on my eye, before kneeling down in front of me.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"You worry too much, mom. I'm fine." I grumbled. He rolled his eyes and stood up. He walked out onto the center of the floor, calling everyone to attention.

"You guys have done absolutely amazing today, and it's so good to see how you've grown. Every one of you has now completed the course here and will be sent back to your academy next Wednesday. If you'd like to continue you're training until then, you may but this is a time for you to say good-bye to your friends, your mentors, and get ready to head back to school to finish up your training before graduation. It's been an honor and a privilege for each of us to work with all of you. As of now, training is closed." Dimitri said. They all screamed and cheered and clapped, and jumped up and hugged each other. I stood up, going to head upstairs, when Glenn stopped in front of me, and extended a hand.

"Hathaway.." He said. I stared at his hand, thinking about snapping off his wrist, but I just smiled.

"You've put me through hell, Glenn. Leaving on good terms with you, isn't exactly on my bucket list. Sorry." I pushed his hand out of the way and walked out and upstairs to my room. The moment I was inside, I collapsed onto the bed, my entire body aching and sore. _Damn Guardian Young. _I finally pulled myself out of my bed to look in the mirror. My eye was turning black and swollen. I groaned at how disgusting it looked. I grabbed a change of clothes and walked into the bathroom, showering. It made me feel slightly better. When I walked out, I jumped because Dimitri was lying in my bed.

"What are you doing? They might-." He shook his head.

"They are going to suspect anything. You were injured. As your mentor it's my duty to check on you." He informed me. I rolled my eyes as I threw my dirty clothes on the floor. He sat up and motioned for me to come to him. I walked to him, as he pulled me close. "Your eye looks horrible, Roza."

"Thanks so much, comrade." I muttered. He chuckled and hugged my waist.

"You did amazing. Just like I taught you. You even pissed him off a little bit by laughing at him. It was entertaining to watch." He informed me. I smirked and ran a hand through his hair.

"I was worried I was going to lose."

"I knew better." Dimitri told me, pressing a kiss to my stomach, which was eye level from where he sat and I stood. I lifted my shirt to reveal the battle marks from today. "He's one hell of a fighter."

"I know. Landon was learning from him." I murmured. Dimitri just nodded. "I'm hungry… I think I'm going to go downstairs and get something to eat. Stay here." I told him.

"Are you sure you're going to-." I cut him off with a look and he instantly shut up.

"I'll be back." I said. I walked out of the room and downstairs towards the kitchen when I heard someone scream from outside. My stomach stirred and I instantly felt sick. _Shit. _

"Dimitri." I screamed, before running for the door. It was in that moment I realized I was defenseless against whatever was outside. I ran straight through Dimitri's door and grabbed one of the stakes out of his drawer before hauling ass towards the door. The moment I stepped outside, my heart stopped. There in front of Diana was a line of four strigoi; one of them with his arms around Glenn's neck, a simple twitch could snap it.

"Ooo, what do we have here? Hathaway, I presume."

"You presume correct." I said, stepping in front of Diana and a few steps closer to them. "Let him go… You don't want him."

"Oh, but don't I?" He asked. I took a few steps closer, but he shook his head. "Come any closer, I'll rip his head from his shoulders." My hand with the stake, twitched. Just then, the door opened and Dimitri came running out. _Distraction. _I ran, dragging my stake across the strigoi's face, causing him to drop Glenn.

"Glenn, go." I screamed, taking the strigoi to the ground. The rest of them pounced on me, but then the rest of the novices and Guardians came running out. That's when all hell broke loose. A line of about fourteen more strigoi emerged from the forest.

"Fuck." I heard, Dimitri cuss. I averted my focus back to the strigoi, swinging a fury of punches to his face. He rolled me, putting himself on top of me, but I kicked him off, and got to my feet. He lunged back at me, but I swung a high kick, catching him dead in the face. With that, I drove my stake through his heart. He cried out, and dropped to the ground. I stomped it in further, before pulling it out and running back into the group of strigoi moving in on the estate. I was caught from behind, and turned to swing. I caught the strigoi across the face, and he pushed me back. I tried over a root, and fell. I quickly started moving back away from him.

"So helpless, Ms. Hathaway." He teased. He started to lunge at me, but someone took him out from the side. Dimitri drove his stake through his chest, and helped me up.

"Rose, get out of here."

"I'm not arguing with you now…" I said, turning from him and running back into the group. I helped Diana with the strigoi on her, and staked him from behind. When he hit the ground, her face filled with relief. I turned and started to help Eddie when someone caught my eye in the forest. I took two steps forward and realized I recognized him. _No. _It was the strigoi that had killed Landon. My blood went hot, and I almost lost my mind, standing right there.

"We meet again." He snarled.

"You… you fucking bastard. You killed him."

"Awe, are you talking about your little green eyed friend? What was his name? Brandon?" He chastised me.

"It was Landon…" I snarled. "And he's dead and it's your fault."

"If I heard correctly, you guys are the ones that killed him, not me. I created a better life for him, and you ended it." The strigoi said, simply. I started into the forest towards him.

"You'll pay for what you did to him."

"I doubt it." He blurred in front of me, and swung. I deflected it, the stake catching his skin as I moved out of his reach. He growled and cried out as I moved in on him, swinging and catching him hard in the face. He tried to move, but took the full force of the hit. He lunged at me, but I faked him out, kicking him hard. He batted me like a fly, throwing me back into the trees. I quickly forced myself to my feet before he got back to me. I shoved the stake into his face, listening to the skin sizzle as it connected. Once again, he shoved me off him, but I stayed on my feet. I ran back, as he cried out as the skin on his face melted away. I started to drive my stake through his heart when he wrapped his hands around my throat.

"You fucking bitch. You'll pay for what YOU did." He shoved my head aside, exposing my neck, and sank his teeth into my throat. I screamed at the top of my lungs, thrashing against him. I heard something hit him, and he threw me back, slamming me against a tree. My head slammed against the wood. I opened my eyes, seeing Dimitri grapple with the strigoi, but my vision was blurry. The endorphins were crashing through my veins now. I tried to get to my feet, to help him. I had to kill him. He turned Landon… but I kept falling. The last thing I heard was the strigoi snarl and Dimitri's voice extremely close to me.

"Roza… Roza… open your eyes, look at me." That was the last thing I heard before the blackness and endorphins swallowed me.

**A/N: Gosh, it's been forever since I've updated this story. I'm super sorry guys. I kinda got into my Adrian/Rose story, and if you're not reading that because you're not exactly a fan of the Rose and Adrian pairing, I promise you'd like it. :D Alright, maybe I'm being slightly cocky, but if you're a fan of erotica of any kind, that's what it is. I think it's coming along pretty nicely. If you're a fan of Fifty Shades of Grey, that's kinda what inspired it. Give it a try, and I'll love you forever. Regardless, this story is coming to a close pretty soon. I'm guessing about maybe 5 or 6 more chapters, so we have to get this to 1,000 reviews really soon, so don't forget to review. Hell, review more than once. :D I love you guys, my readers. You rock, and I continue to write for you guys. When you start to tell me I suck, and I need to find a new hobby, I most certainly will. Anyways, review, check out Can You Keep A Secret? And continue to love me. ;) **

**-April **


	46. Avenged!

I woke up far too comfortable. I knew something was definitely wrong with that, since last thing I remembered, I was sprawled out on the forest floor. I slowly opened my eyes, afraid of my surroundings.

"Roza?" I heard. My eyes flew open, and found Dimitri's worried face.

"Comrade?" I mumbled. He squeezed my hand tight in his and pulled it to his mouth, kissing it over and over again.

"I was worried. You took a pretty hard hit… I thought I'd lost you." He said. I shook my head, and winced at the pain that caused.

"I'm not going down that easily. I've took some pretty hard hits to the head before. I'll just add that one to the list." I muttered. He stood up, and wrapped his arms around me, burying his face into my collar bone.

"You are never allowed to scare me like that ever again… you understand me?" I rolled my eyes, and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm okay, Dimitri." I murmured. He just nodded, but continued to hold me. When he finally did release me, I turned and looked around. "Where are we?"

"St. Vladimir's infirmary." He informed me. I quickly sat up, wincing at the pain but I didn't care.

"Lissa… where is she?" I demanded. He pushed me back down gently, before smiling.

"She went to her room to change. She stayed overnight with you." He informed me.

"She healed me, didn't she?"

"She did." He said. I sighed and nodded.

"Should have known." I muttered.

"I have something to tell you, so I guess I should probably tell you now." He took a deep breath and looked away before continuing. "Since you're here anyway and you've only got a week left at the estate, if you want to stay here now… you can. You don't have to come back. It's your choice." I stared at him, not sure what I was supposed to say. I could stay here with Lissa now, instead of having to go back to the estate and deal with everything there. I didn't have to be away from her anymore. _You'll be leaving him behind. _I shook my head.

"I want to go back."

"You don't have to do that, Roza. You can stay here with her. I'll understand. The last week at the estate will be pointless for you. I can have your things sent over, and you'll be done with that place." He said. I shook my head.

"I'm not ready to be done with it yet. I have a week left with you… give me that, please." I said. He met my gaze for a second, before finally nodded.

"Okay." He whispered. A few moments later, Lissa walked in and I watched as her face lit up as she saw I was awake. She ran forward, throwing herself onto my bed and wrapping her arms around me.

"God, I'm so glad you're okay. I was so worried. You were out for almost a whole day. Damn it, Rose… don't you ever scare me like that again." She said, as she crawled down from my bed. Dimitri had backed up slightly, giving Lissa and I some space, and probably not wanting her to suspect anything. Regardless, I hated that he'd moved away. I liked him close. "I can't believe you were stupid enough to take on a strigoi like that alone, Rose. Are you insane? You saw what happened to Landon, and you-." I cut her off by throwing up a hand. My body groaned at the movement, but it didn't matter.

"The strigoi…. Did you kill him?" My eyes were on Dimitri now. I had to know if Landon had been avenged. Dimitri looked down, and shook his head.

"No… I didn't. He got away." He murmured. I sat up straight in my bed, my body was on fire but I didn't care.

"WHAT? You let him get away? How could you even-." He cut me off.

"You were hurt. I couldn't just leave you. What if a strigoi would have gotten ahold of you and took you the same way they did Landon. Then what?" He asked me. His voice had risen, so I knew he was frustrated with me, but I wouldn't stop.

"I wouldn't have cared. Landon needed to be avenged and I couldn't even do that and neither could you." I paused for a second before the realization hit me. "Damn it, I just keep failing him." My hands were clenched into fists now, and I was angry. I could feel the darkness ready to start bubbling out of me. Dimitri must have noticed it.

"Princess, you may want to step outside." He told her. Her eyes never left me. I reached up and pulled all the monitors off my chest and the IV out of my arm, not caring that I was bleeding now. I needed out of here.

"No… Stay. I'll go." I said, fumbling my way out of bed. I expected to stumble and fall to the floor when I stood up, but I didn't. The darkness had numbed the pain and turned it into anger. I started towards the door.

"Rose, don't." Dimitri started. I heard him start to follow me, but I turned around, causing him to stop.

"All I wanted was to avenge him. That fucking thing took my only friend at the estate away from me. I just wanted him to pay for what he'd done, and neither of us could do that Dimitri. Why? Because we are weak. All this training you've put me through, what good has it done?" I paused to take a breathe. "Cause if that'd have been Lissa out there in that forest, she'd be gone too." I shook my head and walked out before I could lose any more of my sanity there in front of Lissa. Dimitri didn't follow me, which caught me off guard. I walked to the cabin nestled in the woods out in front of the academy where the Guardians used to live, and keep watch for strigoi. When I reached it, I expected the door to be locked, but it wasn't. I peeked my head inside before walking in, closing the door behind me. The cabin was small. It was really nothing but a bed in a large room with a bathroom. I walked over to the bed, and sat down, placing my face in my hands. Landon was dead because of that strigoi. I'd made it my goal to kill him, and I couldn't. Dimitri couldn't even do it. No… Dimitri hadn't let him go because he couldn't kill him. He let him go because of me. His love for me… it got in the way of his duty and that was to kill the strigoi. He didn't do that. I just shook my head. I didn't know what to do. Maybe it would be better if I just stayed her. A clean break. Going back to the estate would only be that much harder for me to leave him. I sighed, and kicked the small table in the corner, causing a vase to fall over and hit the ground, shattering. I ignored it. I wasn't just how long I'd been pacing before the door opened, and Dimitri stepped inside, closing it behind him.

"Roza…" He murmured, softly. He was testing to see if I was calm.

"I'm fine." I told him. He took a couple steps forward, and then slowly approached me. He took my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him.

"You… You are not weak. Sometimes things come at times when it's just too much for us to handle. That strigoi was proof of that. You are strong. You took numerous strigoi down. You were tired. You'd had a long day as it was. It was not your fault." He said. He looked down, and took a deep breath. "As for me, you're right. I should have killed him. I was worried about you. Another strigoi could have grabbed you and dragged you off, and you could have ended up just like Landon. Can you even imagine what that would have done to Lissa?"

"Or to you." I whispered. His face went somber, as he stared at me.

"Yes, or to me. I couldn't take that chance. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't kill him. I'm sorry I couldn't avenge Landon like I wanted too. You came first." He murmured. I just stared at him, not sure what I was supposed to say to that.

"Okay." I whispered. I pulled away from him, and walked over and sat down on the bed.

"Rose, you should really just stay here. I can have your things shipped to you. You don't have to go back. I know the memories there can't be healthy for you. Maybe staying here is good for you." He said, walking over and kneeling down in front of me.

"Leaving you right now… isn't good for me." I told him. He stared up at me for a few moments before he looked away.

"Leaving you at all isn't going to be good for me." He informed me. I nodded, and ran a hand through his hair. He closed his eyes and sighed, before looking back up at me.

"I know. We'll survive, though. We always survive." I told him. I wasn't really sure if I could believe that myself or not, but it sounded good. It sounded strong, and he needed someone to be strong for him. He was always being strong for me, protecting me when I needed it. It was my turn now. Dimitri stood up, and before I knew it, I was on my back on the bed, and his mouth was on mine. I was caught off guard, but I gave into it. I didn't get chances like this often. The kiss was rough, but sweet and everything I needed in that moment. When he pulled away to breathe, he stared down into my eyes for a moment.

"I want you."

"We can't… not here." I murmured. The look in his eyes went from lusty to pleading. He needed this. I could see it.

"Please, Roza." He begged.

"What if someone-?"

"No one comes out here. I told Lissa I'd find you and bring you back to her when you calmed down." He said. He had this all planned out. "Please…" I couldn't deny him anymore. I reached up and pulled his face back down to mine, and that was all the answer her needed. He moved me up onto the bed, crawling over top of me. Just like that, clothes started falling off left and we fell right into our own little world. In that moment, nothing else existed but me and him. I wished it could be like that forever, but we knew our time was coming to an end, and neither of us really knew how to handle it. I knew I had to hold onto every little moment I had with him. Every kiss, every touch, every glance, everything we had… I was going to have to part ways with it really soon. I wasn't sure for how long. A month, a year, maybe even a couple of years, I'd have to be without him…. But right now, he was here… in my arms… so I had to hold onto that for as long as I could.

**A/N: It's been waaaaayyyy to long. Sorry guys, life caught up to me for awhile, and I just really didn't have any desire to write. I got bored of it, but hey... I'M BACK. :) Forgive me? **


	47. Worse!

They'd asked me to stay on St. Vladimir campus overnight to make sure I was okay. I argued with them for hours about letting me go back, but no one listened and even Dimitri agreed that I needed to be held just in case something was really wrong. I knew better. Lissa had healed me, so I knew I was in tip top shape. Adrian had come to see me before I left back to the Estate. He hugged me and told me how happy he was that I was okay. On the drive back to the Estate, I was silent. I didn't really know what to say. Dimitri tried to start a conversation, but I'd say very little and then blow it off. Finally over half-way there, he pulled the van off the side of the road and shut it off.

"Wanna tell me what's wrong with you, or is it going to be like this the rest of the week?" He asked me. I kept my gaze locked outside the window.

"Nothing's wrong with me." I said, simply.

"Roza, look at me." He pleaded. I didn't turn to him. "I am your mentor, and I gave you an order, Rosemarie." The authority rang clear in his voice. Regardless of everything, he was still above me. I turned to him and met his gaze.

"What?" I asked, simply.

"What is wrong with you?" He asked. I sighed.

"Dimitri, everything is wrong with me. There's been so much over such a short period of time; I don't know how to handle it. I'm numb. I don't feel anything anymore." I finally admitted.

"Would you like me to turn around and take you back to Lissa? I feel like you'd be happier there." He said, after a long pause. I shook my head.

"I already told you I want to go back to spend my last week with you."

"But if you aren't going to be happy there, what's the point?" He demanded. I sighed and averted my gaze back out the window.

"I'm not going to be happy anywhere, Dimitri." I opened up the door and got out. "I need some air." You'd think I would have had better sense than to get out of a vehicle in the middle of the night, but obviously I hadn't learned my lesson yet. Dimitri jumped out behind me.

"Roza, talk to me."

"I don't know what more you want me to say. I'm unhappy. I've been unhappy for what feels like an eternity. I have nothing, Dimitri. I have no mother. I lost my best friend… twice. The one strigoi that I wanted to kill more than anything in the world got away. I'm eat up with darkness. I'm terrified that I'm not going to be able to protect Lissa, and in a little less than a week… I lose you. Tell me, Guardian Belikov… where do you see something that I should be happy about? That's right. There isn't anything. So, if you want to know what's wrong so fucking badly, now you know." I said. I turned away from him and started walking down the highway. I didn't care that there were cars passing, probably witnessing our scene.

"Rose, stop."

"You were right when you said I run from my problems." I whispered. I knew he heard me because he started jogging towards me, and grabbed my wrist. The moment he touched me, I jerked away. "Stop, Dimitri. Just stop. Stop trying to fix it. Stop trying to make it better. Nothing you can say or do is going to make it go away, so stop pretending that kissing me, or having sex with me, or holding me is going to make all the shit go away, because it fucking isn't." I yelled at him. The pained look that filled his face almost made me feel bad, but I couldn't find the emotion in me. I just shook my head. "I didn't mean for that to be that harsh… I just-." He cut me off with a shake of his head.

"Don't worry about it." He mumbled. "Let's go. The sooner we get back to the estate the better." I had no intentions of getting back in the van with him.

"You go ahead, Dimitri. I'll walk from here." I told him.

"I'm not leaving you out here in the middle of the night to walk home." He informed me.

"Well, I guess we're both walking then, because I have no desire to get back in the van. I need some air." I told him, before turning my back and limping away.

"Roza, please don't."

"See you at home, Dimitri." I muttered, before continuing to limp down the high way. I heard the van door close, and the van start up. I heard him pull back onto the road, and then go flying past me. I was actually surprised that he'd left me out here by myself but at the same time, I was glad. I needed to be left alone, atleast for a little while. It took me about forty-five minutes to limp home from where we'd had our little scene on the side of the road. When the estate came into view, Dimitri was sitting on the front steps, waiting for me, no doubt. I sighed and rolled my eyes as I made my way up to the door.

"Did you walk help?" He asked, when I was within hearing distance. I nodded.

"Yes, it did. Thank you for actually letting me walk." He shrugged.

"I figured if something was going to happen to you, better to let it happen on your terms than mine." He said, smartly. He was angry with me. I could see it.

"You're mad." I said, simply.

"I'm furious."

"Good." I said, before trying to walk up the stairs and around him. He grabbed my arm and pushed me back, keeping me from going inside.

"Dimitri, I really don't want to do this now." I snapped.

"I could care less about what you want right now." He told me. I stared at him, trying to figure out what it was he was trying to do. Normally I was good at reading him, but that guardian mask was hiding everything. He stood up and started towards me.

"What are you doing?" I demanded. When he got close enough, he threw a punch at me. I blocked it quickly and backed away. "Dimitri, what are you-?" I was cut off when he threw a kick straight to my stomach, and I hadn't gotten the chance to block it so I took the blunt force of it. I saw his mask waver for a second because he knew he'd hurt me, but he didn't let up. I had a feeling I knew what he was trying to do, and I just really wasn't in the mood for it. I tried to fake him out and run for the door, but he guessed that'd be my next move and stopped me. I was becoming extremely angry and couldn't stop it. The darkness lashed out of me then. I lunged at him, fighting harder than I ever had in all my life. I caught him in the face numerous times, but didn't let up. I threw out a fury of punches and kicks, letting the darkness continue to pour out of me. My entire body was throbbing, but I didn't let it stop me. There was blood pouring from my mouth from where I'd taken a couple hits to the face as well. Finally, I just stopped. I was staring dead into Dimitri's eyes, and saw the extent of the damage I'd done. He was bleeding, probably worse than I was.

"Dimitri…" I murmured. Even through all the pain he was obviously experiencing, he smiled at me. "Dimitri… I'm so sorry."

"You're better now… right?" He asked simply, completely ignoring my apology. I looked down at the ground, unable to meet his gaze.

"Why did you let me…? You knew how bad it would-." I stopped, not knowing how to finish.

"You needed it. You were going to lose control soon, and better on someone who can take it then someone who can't… like Glenn or Adrian." He told me.

"But… I… I hurt you."

"I'm fine, Roza. You needed this. I knew I had to help you." He murmured. I look up at him, and the moment I met those bruising brown eyes, I hit my knee's sobbing. I'd held it together for so long; I just couldn't do it anymore. Dimitri walked over to me, and sat down beside me, pulling me into his lap. He just stroked my hair and let me cry. He never once promised it'd be alright, or that I'd make it like he normally did. He just let me have my moment. When I was finally able to breathe again, he pulled my bloody face up to look at him.

"I love you, Rose." He murmured.

"You shouldn't." I said, honestly. He smiled.

"But I do, and nothing you can do or say is going to change it, Roza. I promise you that." He told me. He pressed his bloody lips to my forehead.

"I'm a monster. How could you love me?"

"Because everything I want to be, I see in you." He told me, pressing me closer to his chest. I sighed, knowing he had no idea what he was talking about. I'm a monster. I'm a ticking time bomb, ready to explode any time, just like I did today. How could he love someone like me? I shook my head and pushed myself out of his lap.

"I'm sorry I lost it on you like that." I finally said, unable to look at him.

"I staged it, Rose. I knew you were on the edge. Like I said, better to take it out on someone who can handle it." He said, as he got to his feet.

"Yeah, it looks like you handled it pretty well." I muttered, turning and motioning to his bloody and battered face. He shook his head.

"You're good at what you do, Rose. I didn't think I'd come out of it unscathed." He told me, honestly. "I trained you. I know what you're capable of."

"But what if it isn't enough?" I murmured. He chuckled

"Roza, if we would have gone any longer, you could have seriously hurt me. I've taken our multiple strigoi, sometimes more than one at a time. Do you honestly believe you could hurt me that way and not be able to protect Lissa?"He asked me.

"I wasn't able to protect Landon." I murmured.

"But keep in mind, you saved Adrian, you saved Glenn, and Diana. That doesn't go unnoticed around here." He informed me. I sighed.

"I saved them with your help, Dimitri. What about when it's just Lissa and I out in the real world? What then?" I asked.

"You doubt yourself far too much."

"And it's for good reasons." I snapped. I sighed and shook my head. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry… I just-." I stopped, not knowing how to continue. I walked over to him and wiped the blood from his mouth. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine. I've had worse." He informed me. I just nodded. "Are you okay?" He asked, gently touching my eye which caused me to flinch.

"I'll be fine. I've had worse." I repeated. He nodded.

"I know you have. Come on, let's go inside." He told me. When I walked in, Glenn, Diana, and Guardian Castille were standing in the foyer. They all looked up as we entered.

"What happened?" Eddie asked, obviously taking in how bloody and disgusting we were when we'd just left from the infirmary at St. Vladimirs.

"Nothing… there was an issue, we took care of it." Dimitri lied.

"Were there more strigoi?" Diana asked, her whole body shaking at the thought. The fear on her face made me almost feel bad for her. I shook my head.

"No, there weren't strigoi. I had an outburst of darkness, and I kinda let it out on Guardian Belikov. My fault… We're okay." I told them. Castille's eyes fell on Dimitri. Dimitri nodded at him once to let him know everything was alright. I started towards the stairs when Glenn called after me. I turned and met his gaze. He walked over to me, and wrapped his arms around me. I wasn't sure how to comprehend what was happening.

"Thank you." He murmured. I stood there, frozen for a second, before I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him back. When he released me, I met his gaze and watched a tear roll down his face. "After everything I've put you through and all the awful things I've said, you could have let me die out there. I'm so sorry. I honestly don't expect your forgiveness, nor do I deserve it… but I am sorry, and thank you." I couldn't help but smile at him. I reached up and wiped the tear from his face and shook my head.

"Don't mention it." I told him. As I turned to walk up the stairs, I caught Dimitri smiling at me. I couldn't help but shake my head as I walked up stairs. The moment I made it to my room, I grabbed a sports bra and shorts and headed to the bathroom. I watched as all the blood ran from my body into the stark white tub. When I got out, I stepped in front of the mirror to access the damage done. My face was pretty bruised up and I had some nasty marks on my stomach, but other than that it wasn't too bad. I feared it'd be much worse. When I walked out into my room, I threw the bloody clothes on the floor, and collapsed onto my bed. I expected Adrian to invade my dreams, but this time… He didn't, and for that I was thankful. It was the first peaceful night's sleep I'd gotten in what felt like a century.

**A/N: You know what else has been a century? Since I last posted anything on this site. I'm so sorry I've neglected all of my FanFics for so long. Life caught up to me big time, and I've been going through a lot of shit. I'm gonna try and be better about that posting on here now. Anyway, if any of you guys are still with me, here's the next chapter to Walk on Water or Drown. :D **


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